Self-evaluation at the halfway mark

I am feeling restless again.

I feel like I am not living up to my fullest potential.

I need to write, coach and mentor full-time, or as fully as possible around my family and church commitments. But it's not happening.

Whichever way I do it, I run into the Scylla and Charybdis of sales and marketing.

Question 1: What do I best love doing? Answer as above.

Question 2: How do I make it profitable enough to be a regular, reasonable stream of income?

Question 3: Why would someone come to me for their writing or coaching needs when there are so many more competent, confident and experienced pros out there?

I'm stuck at 2 and 3. And I never seem to find a way around it.

I know the importance of sales and marketing, the need to be upfront about my business and my abilities.

But I can't translate it into something viable and long-term.

I've got SBI at work on my careers site and SiteSell Services for my supplements site. The numbers are nowhere near what is needed for good solid traffic. And I've yet to make a single online sale.

I need someone to look at my sites and tell me what I'm doing wrong and what I need to do to get back on track.

For my ONE Group organics biz, I love the products but struggle with talking about them. I need to know what are the best channels of marketing. My hubby doesn't support markets; he thinks they are a poor investment for 4 hours and $20. Especially as he then has to ferry B to music class and take J along. Lots of the mums on FB who are WAHPs and WAHMs do markets, particularly for handmade things like clothing and accessories. I haven't seen anyone else do organics yet at our monthly market so I haven't anything to gauge against.

I'm on FB everyday studying what the more active WAHPs do and learning from them. Shoutouts. Referrals. Article writing. Self-promotion. When I'm not feeling up to it, all this social networking feels so shallow. Who am I kidding with my 64 likes? What difference am I making in the world? Who should I be marketing to? People who love organics? People who are interested in their health? Parents?

I guess I have to try everything to see what works best don't I?

With coaching, the same issues come up. I'm not a certified coach (though I know I don't have to be), and I don't know how to bring in paying clients. Why would someone come to me for advice? What do I know that's so amazing that others can't provide?

I need direction and wisdom God. I can't do this alone. Please show me the way you want me to go, the way you want me to live. Help me do what is right and needful and avoid what is trivial, time-wasting and does not serve your purposes. Help me live fully in the joy of what you have already provided and blessed me with. Amen.

Wedding Anniversary (12 July 1997)

13 years ago today, I said "I do" to CA.

Has it been that long? Sure doesn't feel that way.

To God who gave us the faith, courage and strength to take that huge step and who has sustained in us an attitude of love, mutual encouragement and gratitude, all thanks and praise.

I couldn't have done it without You.

Don Moen (Praise & Worship Leader)

Hands up how many have heard of Don Moen.

DM is one of the most inspiring worship leaders of the '90s. For me anyway. I still have his God Will Make A Way and Hallelujah To The Lamb CDs. I like his non-showy demeanour, his old-world dressing, and how he avoids drawing attention to himself but instead deflects all praise and glory to the Creator.

Recently, I discovered DM on Facebook. Whoa! Of course I 'liked' him right away.

Here's what he had to say that really spoke to me:

Take a second to invite the Lord into everything that's going on. Yes, He's there already, but invite Him to be Lord in the midst.

He makes all things new. Moment to moment we have a new start and another chance to make Him Lord of that very instant, whatever is going on, and regardless of how many times we choose to take it into our own hands. Praise Him for it!

I decided to take his advice. Just before going into Beth's room to remind her that it was time for her bath, and knowing that there was a 99% probability of her protesting vigorously and even being rude about it, I prayed and asked God to take charge. The simplest of prayers. No me interposing my idea of what I would like to happen and any number of variables. I simply asked.

And boy, did He answer.

I knocked on Beth's door. She responded in a reasonably polite manner, and I discovered to my pleasant surprise that she was sketching the Sphinx. When I reminded her it was time to bathe, she did not protest. In fact, we were able to have a friendly chat and she dutifully went off to the bathroom.

And after that - get this - she sat down at the keyboard to practise.

With a cheerful attitude!

There is nothing more to be said, except Praise God.

Is Teaching My Spiritual Gift?

On Sunday, the former SS coordinator came up to me and made this intriguing remark.

"I say this by way of encouragement. You remember the time you applied for a music teaching position and it didn't work out? I thought it was because that's not where you were meant to be. This (Sunday School) is where you are meant to be."

I am intrigued because she hasn't seen me in action as a SS teacher. How would she know if I am (or am not) cut out to be one?

Or perhaps she is referring to the obvious enthusiasm and delight on my face since I started being officially identified as SS teacher?

I must have a conversation with her to understand where she is coming from, and also because I want to learn from her how to manage an unruly group of 7-12 yos. She always seems so calm and in control, whereas I'm lucky if I manage to deliver 20% of what I prepared. The rest of my time is spent trying to get the kids' attention, breaking up fights, keeping them focused and engaged.

What am I not doing right?

How can I draw the children in so that they want to hear God's Word and learn it for themselves?

How do I help them to love the Bible and to read it with delight and a genuine desire to get to know God?

My only SS experience before AUS was a short stint teaching the 4 yos at PLCMC just before we migrated. And trust me, there is a HUGE difference between teaching Asians and teaching angmohs.

God has used the church camp and Geelong conference to reawaken in me a love for His Word and a desire to rediscover Bible stories. I want to pass on this desire to my SS kids. I want every one of them to come to a point where they can, with a clear mind and open heart, invite Jesus into their lives as their personal Lord and Saviour.

Most of all, I want to see them transformed and renewed, going out into their schools and extracurricular classes as salt and light, sharing the Good News with their friends, bringing many to Christ, and modelling decency, justice and purity.

Not growing into jaded, cynical teenagers with body piercings and tattoos, whose preferred entertainment is spouting meaningless sayings on FB (with bad language, misspellings and bad grammar treated as de rigeur), texting non-stop, smoking, drinking, partying and no-boundaries behaviour.

I have been reading the Left Behind novels, which have given me an insight into the literal seriousness of our spiritual situation. This is not about us anymore. It's a cosmic battle between the forces of evil and the forces of good. It sounds like something out of a movie but it's not. The trouble is that we take God so lightly and we treat the Bible as just good reading, when it contains prophecies and warnings of what is going to happen in the future (the Rapture, the 7-year Tribulation, the Beast and the Antichrist are cast into the lake of fire and Satan is bound, the Millennium when Christ returns to earth to rule, Satan is released for the final Battle of Armageddon before being cast into the lake of fire to suffer forever with the Beast and the Antichrist, the new heaven and new earth).

Meanwhile, we go about our daily lives, oblivious of the spiritual forces that are around us fighting for our allegiance.

We grumble about going to work and look forward to weekends.

We fret over mortgages and school fees and childcare fees.

We worry that we won't have enough money.

We spend more time having fun and entertaining ourselves with our surround-sound TVs, internet, computer games and communication gadgets, and less time reflecting on deep questions that do not have immediate answers.

We schedule our lives around our children and their involvement in dance, language, music, sports. Outwardly we complain that we are busy and tired, but inside we are actually proud of ourselves because we think we are being good parents.

I say this to myself also, because I am just as guilty.

But God has given me another chance to live differently, and I want to honor Him.

I will begin by getting into the Word of God and letting it soak into me and penetrate every part of my mind, body and spirit, so that I can be fully equipped to do every good work. Including teaching His children the truth, so that they will know the truth and be set free.

As He is willing, so let it be.

Decluttering by Deblogging

Today, I was inspired to clean up my life by...deleting two of my five blogs.

First, I found out from Blogger how to export them in XML format to the external hard drive.

Then I clicked Delete Blog.

Easy as.

Two less blogs to update, and more energy and focus for my other blogs.

I've also thought of consolidating the three blogs into one, but I would feel overexposed. Besides, I am anal about compartmentalizing my life. One blog for kids' issues, one blog for life in AUS, one blog on my personal growth and thoughts about God - that works for me.

Opening My Golden Mouth

When I was growing up, my mum used to call me Golden Mouth. She said I had trouble opening my mouth (to speak up, to respond to requests I didn't like), so it must be made of gold, so precious. LOL

And she was right. Even though I am going on 40, have had 2 children, am happily married, enjoyed a prestigious, financially rewarding job in law for 11 years etc etc, I still have trouble opening my mouth to ask for things, to express an opinion, to engage in a discussion.

I battle constantly with a feeling of unworthiness. Of not being smart enough or knowledgeable enough. Of not knowing the right words to say. Of looking foolish. So I prefer to smile and hover in the background.

Which is all very well if you are contented to spend the rest of your life under everyone's radar, never fully being yourself and never daring to dream big.

But here in AUS, it's everyone for himself. If you don't ask, you don't get.

Today, I finally learned to embrace the risk and ask for something I wanted.

But first, some context.

There is this lovely lady (LL) I met at a market who sells books and educational resources through a network marketing plan. I've bought a fair amount of stuff (all of excellent quality) off her for my children and constantly marvel at her exuberance, marketing flair and confidence. She always knows exactly what to say to people to bring out their best, and she's such a natural at selling. She's constantly on the go, organizing and attending parties and fundraisers and market stalls.

No wonder she made sales leader in less than a year of joining the company...

Unlike me. I work with one of the best in the market for certified organics and I believe in my products. It's telling people about them that's hard.

What do I say in my marketing emails?
Who can I email without being accused of spamming or compromising a friendship?
What do I say on FB beyond shout-outs, industry updates and the latest promotion?
How do I follow up when someone shows a glimmer of interest?
How do I respond when someone talks about their personal or health problems?

So back to LL.

Today, she messaged to say she's got my thesaurus and she's coming by to deliver it.

And I thought: so far our relationship has been pretty one-sided. It's all about me buying her products. I've never even once had a chat with her about her health needs or how my products might be able to help her.

So I decided: I'm going to ASK.

I didn't even know what I was going to say. I rehearsed various possibilities and configurations in my head, and eventually settled on "Would you like to get together for a chat one of these days about your skin care needs - I know you like aromatherapy - or would you prefer me to give you a catalog and you can browse through it in your own time?"

In faith, I went to the car and got out my ONE AND ONLY catalog, which I'd been meaning to give to a friend who'd mentioned her skin breakouts. I also inserted the pricing list that I'd JUST printed off to give to another friend who had asked for it.

Soon enough, LL was at my doorstep. At the first natural pause after I'd handed over the money, I said pretty much what I'd scripted in my head.

And you know what she said?

"Sure! In fact, I was going to ask about your Healthy Hair Pack because my husband has psoriasis on his scalp. And I have a friend who's running a fundraiser at Mossfiel Kindergarten in Sep and is looking for stalls. Do you think you might have enough product to do a display? It's just $10 to book a stall."

Which of course made it easy for me to hand her the catalog and pricing list and remind her that the Healthy Hair Pack will be at the discounted price I'd emailed her previously.

So just by opening my Golden Mouth, I've got the possibility of new business flowing into my life.

How great is that?

Thank you God for the courage to speak, and wisdom to speak at the right time using the right words.

Thank you for showing me that when I ask, I will receive, just as you promised in Matthew 7:7-8.

Thoughts on Ecclesiastes

Was flipping through the Book of E today and picked up some verses I hadn't really noticed before.

Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.
Eccl. 5:1

What does it mean to offer the sacrifice of fools?
What might be an instance of a believer being ignorant that he is doing wrong?

Suppose (just hypothetically) the music team stands in front of the congregation each Sunday, believing that they are leading the congregation to draw closer to God.
But they come with a can't-be-bothered attitude, rock up to practice late, are spiritually unprepared and distracted by their gadgets and social interests, walk out of service midway just because they are bored by the sermon...
And they have no idea they are doing anything wrong.
Nor do they welcome being told that their behavior is inappropriate.

Does this put them at risk of offering the sacrifice of fools?

Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?"
For it is not wise to ask such questions.
Eccl. 7:10

Every generation loves to talk about the good old days and to compare how things are now with how they were "in my time".
And every generation believes things were better in their time.
Modern life is too hectic, too stressful. We are plagued by diseases and disorders that were never heard of in our grandparents' time etc etc.
This looking back has been going on since (or before) King Solomon's time, so he has much wisdom to offer.
Why talk about the good old days when we could be doing something new, something better, something CONSTRUCTIVE, with the present?

Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter,
but the advantage of knowledge is this:
that wisdom preserves the life of its possessor.
Eccl. 7:12

This is the first time I have heard money described as a shelter.
Which in a sense it is. (Think "tax haven". Similar metaphor?)
It clothes, it protects, it keeps out discomfort, it cloaks us with respectability and status.
Money has the potential to keep us in a comfortable place.
But it does not guarantee life or health or spiritual/emotional well-being.
Having said that, the rich man may have a better chance of getting life-saving treatment than the average man when faced with the same terminal illness.
And money can enable one to physically escape to safety, say as a refugee or asylum seeker.
So what does King Solomon mean when he says that wisdom preserves the life of the one who has it?
In what way is wealth unable to preserve and protect my life?
In what way is wisdom and knowledge able to preserve and protect my life?

Question To God: How Do I Teach My Child About You?

Okay God, I get it.

This is the second time Beth has asked me The Question: How do I know God is real?

So I know it's time.

The thing is, I don't know how to go about it.

I want to tell her the truth.

And I want to give her real answers.

I don't want to give her cliches from the usual sources of authority, but to share stuff I've actually experienced and thought about and struggled with - and of course, answers from the Bible.

To do that, I've got to make sure I know You, I am at peace with You and I am walking in step with you. (Tick...mostly.)

I've got to know my Bible. (WIP!)

I've got to pray unceasingly. Cos this is WAY over my head.

But it's effortless for You, because Your desire is for my girls to come to salvation, to come into a relationship with You.

You WANT this.

So help me God, as You helped:

• Solomon - when he asked for wisdom to rule Your people.
• Moses - when he said he had never been eloquent and was slow of speech and tongue.
• Jonah - when he prayed to You from inside the fish.
• Joshua - when he prayed for the sun and the moon to stand still, and You listened.

Help Bethany and Jordanne to come to a saving knowledge of You, to accept You into their hearts as Lord and Saviour, and to live wholly for You, however long or short that life may be. May they be Christ's ambassadors wherever they go in life.

In Your strong name I pray, Amen.

What is truth?

Maybe there is a universal truth embedded in everyone's soul. Maybe we all have the same story hiding inside, like a shared constant in our DNA. Maybe this collective truth is responsible for the similarity in all of our stories.

Truth has power. And if we all gravitate toward similar ideas, maybe we do so because those ideas are true ... written deep within us. And when we hear the truth, even if we don't understand it, we feel that truth resonate within us ... vibrating with our unconscious wisdom. Perhaps the truth is not learned by us, but rather, the truth is re-called ... re-membered ... re-cognized ... as that which is already inside us.

From Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol p. 409

Making Friends Outside The Square

I've been called square all my life.

Be it in my dress sense, my taste in music, my academic leanings, I've tended towards conformity. I am nothing if not conservative. In my need for structure and sense, I am anal. I need things and people to fall into neat and predictable categories, so that I can understand them. If I ever have an offbeat idea, I am likely to revel in it for a few seconds, then push it to the back of my mind, and never go there again.

Today, I spent 3 hours with a 70 yo friend from church. She is a full-time artist whose work spans a huge range of subjects and emotions. Some I can relate to, like her landscapes. I've got one of them on my living room wall, right above our TV. Some of her work I cannot understand at all (or do not want to), like the ones she exhibited at Girls' Night In (in support of breast cancer sufferers) last year.

What is really interesting is how we have formed a friendship despite our 30-year age gap. It's something I would not have thought possible if I had remained in Sg. Other than my extended family members, I cannot remember any seniors taking an interest in or wanting to be actively involved in my family life.

We had a lovely Chicken Mornay for lunch, which she served in a white soup bowl (the kind with handles like you find in restaurants), and a kind of fork that I've never seen before. Eating soup with a fork is a first for me.

She showed me round her home and her art studio, and we went for a walk around the retirement village where she lives. We saw the rose garden, the playground (for the grandkids who come to visit), the clubhouse, pool, BBQ area... Such a peaceful and secure place and so beautifully maintained. I mentioned that we used to live on the other side of the fence when we first moved into the area. I told her I wouldn't mind living in a place like that when I get to the qualifying age (which is really only another 15 years)!

It was the conversations that really touched me. My family background. My personal colours (which I don't know because I've never done the colour thing; I have since learned that I am a Winter). Her observations of Beth from their time painting together at Sunday School. Her thoughts about our family. Her son, a Dux of school who majored in Law and Commerce but is now in charge of social work projects in Africa. The importance of not forcing our children to be what we expect of them, but freeing them to be what God has intended for them to be.

I believe God is gently drawing me into the lives of people I can make a difference to, and I know that in the process I am going to be stretched, shaped and molded beyond my imagination.

Enlarging My Territory

The Lord has been challenging me into new areas of ministry. I am reminded of the prayer of Jabez, even though I have not specifically asked for my territory to be enlarged:

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain." So God granted him what he requested.

I Chronicles 4:10 NKJV

Our regular Sunday School coordinator has stepped down to focus on other ministries that she feels God is calling her into. This opened the way for a new coordinator to step in (my husband!) and an opportunity to brainstorm new ideas and new ways of running SS. I have volunteered to run SS in Term 2, and last Sunday, the coordinator announced this fact to the congregation, and asked for volunteer helpers to assist me. Two persons have stepped forward.

What's particularly exciting is that one of them is gifted in dance and movement. I have been wanting to include an element of music and movement in SS and her offer of help is perfectly timely. She's the wife of our worship leader, and has been a professional dancer for years. As she's in her early 20s and very "with it", the kids will love her style. And I won't have to worry about being made to lead something that I'm lousy at!

The other lady is passionate about healthy living and wants to impart her knowledge to the children. This ties in perfectly with my health business and writing and gives me a new angle from which to teach the children the importance of taking care of their bodies and being good stewards of what God has given (life and health).

The SS coordinator also spoke with me recently about being included on a roster of volunteers to support a member of our church family who has a debilitating disease that affects her mobility. The volunteers will take turns to ring this member, check on her, visit her and take her on trips to the shops if necessary.

It is sobering to be confronted with the ravages of time and to acknowledge that more and more members of our family are aging and will need help to live in a dignified way as the years go by.

At the car boot sale on Sat, I had a long conversation with our resident artist. The result was an invitation to lunch at her place this Wed to have a look at some material she has written. I know she has developed an affection for our family and longs to have a more substantive role to play e.g. de facto granny to my girls. It is something to think about in the longer term. For now, I know God has led me into friendship with this lady for a purpose.

Another lady, the one who wants to help our SS kids learn healthy living, has also recently expressed an interest in my family and a desire to get to know me better. She is recently widowed but you wouldn't know it when you meet her. She is constantly joyful, praising God, reading her Bible, and busying herself with good works: hosting the main course for our church's progressive dinner last year, doing the flower arrangements for church, attending talks and learning something new, coming up with ideas to stimulate us spiritually. We plan to get together after her daughter's wedding in late April.

I just want to give God thanks that there are people out there who are thinking of our family's emotional and physical needs and offering to meet some of those needs.

Like our pastor's wife, who just last Sat offered to babysit our girls so that Calvin and I can have a night out by ourselves. (Although when we discussed it, we couldn't figure out where we would want to go or what we would do without the girls. How sad is that??)

It takes great effort and commitment to put up your hand and say you'll do this and that extra thing for someone just because you noticed that they have a need. I have often noticed that it is usually the individuals who already lead seemingly busy lives, who from the outside appear to have too much to do, who are the first to step forward.

What a humbling lesson for me, who often get sucked into my own busyness and forget to lift up my head and expand my view.

But that's not all.

At Sunday service yesterday, I was delighted and astonished to see a familiar elderly Chinese lady and her granddaughter. Her granddaughter Catherine and Beth used to be in the same swimming class at Wyndham Leisure Centre, and her daughter was then expecting her third child. The 3 generations would go swimming every Wed. While Catherine and Beth had their lesson, Grandma, Daughter and 2nd granddaughter Gabrielle would enjoy paddling in the shallow end.

The granny's name is Yang Bin and she comes from Xinjiang near Mongolia and Russia. She doesn't speak any English. She introduced me to her hubby, who had just set foot in Melbourne for the first time in his life. I did my best at speaking to them in Mandarin, and was pleased that Catherine felt able to share some of what's been happening at home.

Afterwards, I felt very disturbed to learn that they had walked all the way from Werribee (a 30-minute walk) to attend our church service, particularly when we drove past the Plaza and saw the three of them sitting on a grass patch - in the heat of the noonday sun. CA and I debated whether we should turn around and offer them a ride, but the thing is, they were killing time before attending the Chinese 2.30 pm service, and besides, we had a prior appointment with our friends.

What Would Jesus Do?

Holy Week Reflections

Our family and a few others from HXUCA have been attending the nightly prayer meetings this Holy Week.

On Mon night, Beth refused to join us, opting to sit outside and read. Dear Yvonne A took her in to her art class, and Beth happily worked on a canvas with Yvonne's help, painting the Good Friday scene. Jordanne sat with us and contented herself with flipping through her Children's Illustrated Bible, which impressed everyone.

On Tue night, Beth decided to bring along art supplies for herself and Jordanne, so they both joined us, sitting at our feet drawing.

But Pastor Paul had something else in mind.

On the table were several rolls of crepe: fuschia (I know this isn't fuschia, but for some reason, Blogger doesn't have more colour options!), green, cyan, purple, red, yellow.

We were asked to take hold of one roll at a time, hold on to one end, toss the roll to someone else, and pray. The idea was that eventually everyone would be holding on to a bit of each colour.

And that's what happened.

Such a simple, creative, powerful exercise, it intrigued my girls and got their attention.

Joined together in a rainbow of colours that represent our diversity and uniqueness, we are also intertwined and interconnected as God's family, God's representatives and as members of the community in Wyndham.

This is a prayer from last night's service:

We acknowledge Lord the reality of differences in our community.
We recognise that cultures are diverse, creeds are speaking of God in different ways and colours sometimes divide rather than unite.
But you are the God and Father of all people.
We are bound together as children of your creative love.
Use us to demonstrate the power of Jesus Christ.
He loved everyone, even those who rejected him.
Shape us in these days of preparation for his death by the abiding grace of his living and dying.
Amen.

Past The Midpoint - At Last

This is the longest I've sat on an assignment. Ever.

From Nov 2009 till Feb 2010 for Assignment 7 and the first resubmission, and from Feb till Mar for the second resubmission.

Truth is, I was MORTIFIED when my instructor asked me to redo the assignment. I'm used to getting things right, and I've been academically inclined all my life. To have to redo something - twice at that - is a personal insult.

And yet, I had so much trouble fixing this assignment, because I couldn't see where the two sentence transpositions my instructor wanted were, and the three places where I'd made errors in copyediting. Worst of all, I couldn't see why my copyediting marks were deemed "all wrong".

This week, I made myself sit down and go through the tutorial notes. Page by laborious page. I went through the copyediting exercise again. And finally - eureka! I figured it out. At least, I hope I did. Because I really don't want to do this again. I have given the resubmission my best effort and I just hope it comes back duly rewarded - with some positive comments from my instructor. It can't be fun re-marking an assignment twice either. :-p

I can't wait to move on to Assignment 8. My assignments are piling up faster than I can complete them. Not a nice feeling.

This whole exercise has been a humbling experience. The know-it-all discovered that she really knows very little, and the not-very-resilient has learned the value of persistence and trying One More Time.

What does it mean to let God judge?

"You are more righteous than I," he said.

"You have treated me well, but I have treated you badly.

You have just now told me of the good you did to me; the Lord delivered me into your hands, but you did not kill me.

When a man finds his enemy, does he let him get away unharmed?

May the Lord reward you for the way you treated me today.

I know that you will surely be king and that the kingdom of Israel will be established in your hands."

I Samuel 24:17-20, where David spares Saul's life in the cave near the Crags of the Wild Goats

Introduction to Godly Play

In Sat, I attended Refresh 2010 on Sat with 8 others from my church.

Refresh 2010 is a children's ministry workshop for CRE teachers, playgroup coordinators and Sunday School teachers, and an opportunity to pick up great ideas for faith activities in schools, homes and churches.

The organizers this year were our brothers and sisters from Barrabool Hills Baptist Church, Highton. The church is set in the beautiful hills near Queens Park and Barwon River in a new estate with the most stunning views I've seen in my time in VIC.




I chose the following as my electives:

• Introducing Godly Play: because the title intrigued me. What does it mean to play in a godly way?
  
• Engaging All Ages in Worship: because I have often wondered how to heal the disconnect between Sunday School and the regular worship service which seems to be too long and boring for the young ones
  
• Using Music with Children: because I love music and believe it can be used in so many ways to pass on the faith e.g. Scripture memory through Steve Green's Hide 'em In Your Heart songs
  

The one most significant takeaway for me was the Godly Play workshop. Godly Play is a Montessori teaching that has been used in faith environments with great success by Jerome Berryman. He has written a number of books on the subject. Our presenter was Christine Rowntree, a dignified, arty-looking lady who immediately gave me the assurance that she knew her subject intimately. She moved in a slow, graceful, intentional way that suggested she was in charge of her surroundings, not the other way round. Wow.

What drew me and inspired me about Godly Play:

• the quiet, contemplative way it is conducted, so different from the sometimes rowdy atmosphere in Sunday School, when you have to struggle to keep the attention of the kids
• how it draws observers into the story with simple props (a golden gift box with wooden or felt figures representing people and objects in the story) and a powerful narrative,
  
• how it effectively engages all ages from preschoolers up to Grades 5 and 6 and all personality types, and
  
• how non-judgmental it is. There are no right or wrong answers, only "wondering questions" which the child can choose to answer (or not), and in the way that most speaks to his heart.
  

It strikes me as a method of sacred storytelling that engages not only the head, but also the heart - and helps the wisdom and the lesson stay there and take root.

I can't wait to talk it through with my fellow Sunday School teachers and to have a go at it myself. I can already see myself doing it.

Here's a You Tube video to help you understand how Godly Play is presented.

When is the right time to return to work?

I am coming to the conclusion that working in any other capacity save full-time work requires more effort, brain work, perseverance and resources than internet marketing ads promise.

Yesterday, CA and I discussed a recruitment ad in The Age for the position of complaints officer for the Commonwealth Ombudsman. He and I both think the job description suits me to a T.

The trouble, as usual, is that working in the City demands commuting time and distracts me from my family commitments. Maybe I am being too negative and perfectionist, wanting everything to work out perfectly before I will put a toe into the water. But I also know that I am not great at multitasking. I can't switch mindsets quickly and easily. I am not focused when I need to be.

Having this additional role in my life - full-time career woman - can easily cause a deterioration in the quality of my family relationships, which at the moment are my chief satisfaction. I won't be able to take Beth to swimming, go to the gym or hang out at home watching Veggie Tales with Jordanne. I will have to put Beth in after-school care, and I will feel guilty that I can't be as involved in her school life as I now have the luxury to do.

The consolation will be that our finances will be in much better shape, and I will also have an opportunity to re-engage with the corporate world. It's only been 5 years since I stopped "going forward" and "thinking outside the box", but if I wait another 5 years, I'll be 45 and it will be so much harder.

Amazon Picks: Rants and Raves about Work

HDB Flat: To Sell Or Not To Sell

Received an email from our tenant this week, asking if he and his co-tenants can extend the rental agreement for another year or two because they love our place so much and are so comfortable there.

First thought:
How nice! Of course, stay on, by all means. Couldn't find a nicer bunch of strangers to look after our place.

Afterthought:
But what happens if we want to sell?

J starts school in 2012 and I would really feel more financially secure if we dispose of the flat and bring some of the money over for school fees ($10K a year) and the added expenses of having two school-going kids.

More random thoughts, stream-of-consciousness style:

Should we ask the tenants if they have any plans to buy a flat and if so, would they like to make us an offer?
That would solve the problem of paying an agent to find buyers and go through the sales process, AND remove the burden of maintenance and upkeep as the flat ages. At least, the latter would no longer be our problem!
But how do we get a good price when the market for EMs hasn't moved in our favour?
We're looking at $450K based on sales statistics.
Not a very encouraging figure considering what we paid for it.
But we have to move on at some point and accept the possibility of losing money on the transaction.
How do we move our remaining possessions here at minimum cost?
And where will we store them?
Who should I get to draft the sales contract?
What if things go wrong because I didn't use an agent and miss out on an administrative procedure or two?
When is the best time to sell - 2011? Does the whole family need to go back to Sg?

More questions than answers.

I know the answers will come at the right time.

I just wish the path were clear RIGHT NOW and that someone Wise, Trustworthy and with our best interests at heart (God) would tell us CLEARLY what is step 1, step 2 etc.

Had a weird thought on my way to my first camping trip EVER.

The four of us spent a night at the Great Ocean Road Tourist Park @ Peterborough in a 3-man dome tent. Hubby had meant to add an element of luxury by bringing a QS airbed. Except the airbed kept deflating in the middle so only our heads and feet were well cushioned. Not much fun when you're awake in the middle of the night trying to go back to sleep and your sore tailbone is just one thin layer removed from the hard ground beneath.

Anyway, reflecting on the camp, I thought: this is my 40th year. How about I give myself a birthday present by making a commitment to do things I've never attempted before or have avoided doing in my life?

So for Jan 2010 - camping outdoors.

Feb 2010 - setting up a stall at the church monthly market.

And for the rest of the year...

Learn to cycle.

Get into swimsuit.

Volunteer to teach one term of Sunday School.

Rejoin the musos, but perhaps in a different capacity (worship singer?).

Haven't put together a list of 12 yet, but I'm sure it'll slowly come together.

Wouldn't it be fun to look back and say this is the year I really LIVED?

Building A Site With Professional Help

I have swallowed my pride and asked for help with my second web site.

The first site is tortoise-ing along and I will continue experimenting with it. For now, it's a real-life example of how NOT to build a site.

The second is meant to funnel traffic to my organics site.

Products first, business building later. I know the money is in recruitment but at this point, I just can't bring myself to invite anyone to join my team. I just want to get as much product out there as possible to all the people who are looking for natural health solutions and natural alternatives to OTC drugs.

The easy part is paying for the coaching service.

Now comes the hard part: working with my coach to decide which KWs are best, what my Most Wanted Response is (traffic and product sales), writing KW-rich articles that she can use.

By Christmas 2010, I should know if I'm on track to achieve an independent stream of income from ONE Group.

Brain Recharge

Just signed up to Singapore Law Watch for regular updates on legislation, case judgments etc.

After 4 years away from the law, it's very very hard to read through a judgment without giving in to the temptation to get back to more interesting pursuits like Facebook, YouTube and random surfing.

Are We Doing It As Tough As They Tell Us?

Read this enormously interesting piece in the Domain newsletter today (Crying poor? Count your rooms and houses, and think again).

You know how the media and pollies keep telling us the average family is struggling with rising interest rates, defaulting on mortgages, struggling with the consequences of job loss etc etc?

The writer Ross Gittins has taken a counter view to prevailing opinion.

He observes that the person/s to blame for this pity party is ourselves.

Why are we upgrading to McMansions, renovating/altering existing houses and buying holiday homes?

Is anyone making us do it?

"We buy ourselves a fabulous new house, take on a huge mortgage then, when we find the payments a bit of a struggle, think of ways to blame it on the government or the banks.

And the media and the politicians - which sell themselves using self-pity rather than truth - encourage us. We take what's clearly a self-sought rise in our material standard of living and, driven by self-pity, mentally convert it into a rise in the cost of living."

That's what we need.

The inconvenient truth told like it is. Rather than the truth we prefer to hear.

*Update*

Just after I finished this post, I stumbled on to a serendipitously related article in the Brisbane Times: A Fate Worse Than Death. Enjoy.

Making Friends Later In Life

It's true that the friends of our youth are the ones that stick the longest, but this week, I have experienced the joy and wonder of new friendships with unexpected individuals.

I am just so grateful that it is still possible to share deeply of one's life with a near-stranger without the benefit of age or phase-in-life similarities, and I plan to savour this connection for as long as both of us want it.

Outcome of The Audition

Got The Call today while in the midst of enjoying the company of my friends at home.

It began with "Unfortunately..."

I tried to find a thread of disappointment or rejection somewhere within - but couldn't find any.

Honestly, I was just relieved.

I've been having second and third thoughts the further I got along in the recruitment process, and wondering what would happen if I really had to make my way to and from classes in winter when I can't see well enough to drive.

I am glad I tried, and that I got as far as I did. Now I can go all out with my ONE Group business and make 2010 my year of success. Yeah! :-)

The 15-second Commercial

Have been listening to Michael Oliver's MiSales audio CDs in the car.

Today, I did my first 15-second commercial at the gym.

Chatting with a newbie to the Body Vive class, I was asked what I do for a living.

I did almost word-for-word as suggested by MO. That is, put my business front and center by positioning it in terms of how what I do benefits people.

"You know how lots of popular brands of skincare and cosmetics contain harmful chemicals that get absorbed into our skin? I help people by distributing skincare and cosmetics that are certified organic and contain no harmful chemicals. Completely natural."

"Really? What is the brand called?"

That opened the way for me to say "Miessence".

"I think I've heard of the name before," said my conversation partner.

She then shared that she uses Paula's Choice, which I've read about before.

We didn't get to chat much after that as the class started, but I've learned enough that I know how to take up the conversation when we next meet.

This isn't too hard. I think I can do this Natural Selling type of conversation every day. :-)

The Audition

Monday's teacher audition @ Malvern was a highly interesting experience.

My first challenge was getting everyone out of the house on time so that I could make it for the 8.13 train.

I was so stressed by anxiety that I woke at 1 am and didn't get to sleep till it was almost time for the alarm to go off.

So I started the morning looking tired and disheveled.

But I did it.

Beth was the first one in her class (and the whole of her year) to reach school, and I had the luxury of staying with her for 10 min till it was time to go.

I even had 20 min to spare after getting off at Malvern station. I stood at the corner of Station Place trying to work out which direction was Glenferrie Rd. Once I got my bearings, everything went really smoothly.

What really impressed me about Malvern was the number and variety of shops near the train station. Cafes, bakeries, shoe stores, boutiques, greengrocer, Vinnie's, recycled children's clothing, hairdresser, beauty salon...

Even the locals look different from the people I encounter where I live. For one, there didn't seem to be as many elderly. And the older ones were highly mobile and in good health. No one was in a gopher or wheelchair. The younger ones looked trim and healthy as they went by, their purchases tucked under one arm or a cup of takeaway coffee in hand.

Back to the audition.

I met Robyn (senior instructor) on my way in, and she asked me to pick up an availability form and pointed me to a room where I could rehearse before the audition.

The piano was LOUD.

It took me a while to figure out how to mute it to an acceptable volume so I wouldn't interrupt the conversations that were going on all around.

Then it was time to go in.

My interviewing panel was made up of Robyn and Rose, the regional coordinator who was also MC for this year's Annual Concert.

They took pains to be friendly and really put me at ease, but there was no getting away from performance nerves.

My prepared pieces went rather badly, and I rued not having spent more time the day before polishing them. It had been a busy weekend and I had let practice time slip away from me.

The sight singing and sight playing went quite well, except my voice was thin and soft. I was also told my personality is on the quiet side. As I explained to hubby later, that's just the way I am and I can't really help my voice or my personality being the way it is. If Yamaha considers that a minus point, then too bad. He agreed with my perspective. I think he was pleasantly surprised that I'm not stressing about how my weaknesses might be taken against me.

When I first applied for the position, I had my Plan B all worked out. Meaning that if I don't get accepted for a teaching position (Plan A), I will focus my energies on my organics business. So it's not like everything is hanging on this job application. This approach has really helped me relax and be honest with my interviewers. I told them about my night vision problems, because teachers are expected to teach from 4-7.30 pm on a week night, which can be terrible in winter when it gets dark by 5. I would have to find alternative transport since I can't drive at night.

I am now waiting to hear from Yamaha. If they say "You're in!", I will have to start organizing after-school care for my child. If they say "Sorry", I'll say "No worries, mate!" and get on with my organics business and my writing.

Life is so much easier when you are clear about what you want to do.

The Next Step

I have now made it through the Group Interview and completed two class observations.

The next step is to book myself in for the audition, which I've just done.

It's going to be pretty interesting, just to detach myself mentally and see how far I can go with this.

As former Olympian and Masters athlete Helen Searle says, "The way I see it, that great MD in the sky gives you the genes and the gifts and it's up to you which way you use them."

A Big Decision To Make

To teach-in-a-classroom-setting or not, that is the question.

I have now cleared the initial phone screen, the group interview and completed the two class observations for littlies and primary-school-aged children.

Now I have to decide if I want to proceed to audition stage.

If I say yes, there is much more than playing a few prepared pieces and singing my way through the 30-minute audition.

If I make it through, I have to sign an agreement, pay a training fee and attend a series of training seminars to get ready for the start of school term in 2010.

It's the seminars that make me think: this is too hard.

They're full-day, take place somewhere far from where I live, and will require efficient organization of after-school care for my kids. The very first seminar coincides with Beth's School Presentation Night and I am most reluctant to do anything that would jeopardize my attendance at this very important school function.

There's also the tricky issue of teaching on weekdays. I'll have to organize for hubby to work from home so he can pick up the girls from school and daycare. And during the three months from April-July, I'll be totally (night)blind after 5 pm and have to rely on someone (hubby, hopefully) to ferry me to and from classes.

A couple more things.

Am I comfortable being teacher/entertainer/role model to a group of kids and managing their parents?

Or would I be better sticking to private tuition?

How will I sustain teaching back-to-back classes when I can't project my voice properly and tend to go hoarse from singing from the throat?

The odds seem pretty daunting.

At the core of it, I have to ask myself whether group teaching is the best way for me to share and impart my love and knowledge of music to young children.

I have till Wed to decide.

Exploring Career Options

A most unexpected career option has popped up on my radar.

In my subconscious, I almost hoped I wouldn't get through the first stage so I could avoid having to perform at the audition (the final step).

I do so hate the stress of performance anxiety, the pressure of knowing my playing was never the best even when I was taking exams 18 years ago, and the feeling of failure and rejection that haunts me when my fingers stumble.

But the other half of me - my competitive, closet risk-taker half - wants to know if I can go all the way with the recruitment process.

The only way to satisfy this curiosity is to assume the best: imagine success, prepare like I'm going to make it, and just throw in everything I've got.

I knew there was a purpose for my constant fascination with all that visualization and affirmation self-help stuff.

After the initial phone interview, I thought I'd been written off because they were supposed to call me by 16 Oct if I'd made it through to the next stage, and the phone was silent all day.

Then the following Mon, I got a call asking me to please book in for the group interview on 29 Oct.

I was in shock, and I think I didn't sound as enthusiastic as I should have.

I scrambled to reach hubby at his office to discuss options. 29 Oct is a school day and also when J is home with me. I emailed my daughter's music teacher for ideas.

That is, instead of responding consciously, I reacted emotionally.

My sweet hubby offered to take the day off so he could accompany me to the interview location (seeing as I am so navigationally challenged) and entertain J while I go for my first job interview in, what, 8 years?

In the weeks since I first decided to apply for the job, I've shortlisted the pieces for the audition and practised desperately, trying to recapture the level of playing that enabled me to obtain my ATCL.

I tell you, it's hard work.

But it's also exhilarating because with each session, my fingers remember a bit more. It's like driving along a familiar motorway. Sometimes you go into autopilot mode, which is a nice break.

I've no idea how to prepare for the interview.

But I do know one thing: for every door that closes, a window opens.

"All things work together for them that love God, for them that are called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28

The Power Of Vision Boards

I am reading The Answer: Grow Any Business, Achieve Financial Freedom, and Live an Extraordinary Lifeand have started putting together my own vision boards.

A vision board, also called a dream board, is a collage of powerful words and images that evoke and reflect your dreams, goals and vision for your life/business/career/relationships/anything really.

Authors John Assaraf and Murray Smith describe the vision board as "an especially powerful tool for imprinting your aspirations on your nonconscious brain", or more succinctly, "designing your future". (Love that phrase!)

You can see sample vision boards at www.johnassaraf.com, including a very cool one made up for Barack Obama when he was campaigning for the Democratic Party nomination. (Look where it got him!)

I decided to try my hand at crafting a vision board or two.

So now I've got one for my dream home (the one with the polished floorboards, views of the sea, timber slatted backyard fence and decked all-weather alfresco area).

And one for my life/work.

My 7 y.o. says she's going to create a vision board for herself too. :-)

Putting Natural Selling Principles To Work

I have been listening to Michael Oliver's audio book How To Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety Or Losing Your Friends! in the car for the past 3 months.

I love how he teaches people in the network marketing business to listen, ask the right questions, and act from a desire to help. His approach works in any situation where you are having a conversation with someone; you don't have to be in a sales job to benefit from his excellent book.

Just this morning, I put myself out there (me, the confirmed introvert!) and invited 3 friends to a Learning Ladder home party.

Now, even though I have a network marketing business myself, I have been holding back on marketing it just because I am sales-shy and can't bring myself to talk to anyone about what I do. I just fear rejection so much and take it really hard when someone says no.

Michael Oliver says we should approach NM with the idea of helping others solve their problem. First, find out if there is a problem. If there isn't, there's nothing for me to do. Second, find out how much pain/discomfort the other person is because of the problem. If it's not bothering them enough that they are open to changing their situation, there's nothing for me to do.

Only when there is a problem and the other person is willing to take action can we look at how my solution might help.

Again, there is no guarantee. My solution might not be right for them, in which case there is nothing for me to do, and I move on.

When you look at NM like this, it really makes it more doable and less of a personal rejection risk.

My own encounter with Natural Selling began yesterday when I sounded out one of the ladies, whose son is Beth's classmate, and she said she was interested in coming along for the party. I showed her the catalogue and explained how Beth loved so many of the books and games and possibly the kids in the class would like them too. I also talked about how the quality of the products was so much better and the variety wider than what could be found in the shops.

This morning, I mentioned the home party to my reading partner. She said it sounded like a really good idea and could she bring along some nibbles so I didn't have to provide everything as I was already opening up my house!

As we were walking to the admin office, we met the other 2 ladies, one of whom is the friend I spoke with yesterday.

So there were 4 of us chatting in the playground. When the right moment came, I brought up the home party. Now 2 of them knew about it and the third was hearing it for the first time.

And they all said YES.

It was the easiest "pitch" I'd ever made, which almost makes me wish I were the LL presenter instead of just the hostess! :-)

Now to get to work on my organics biz...

I Feel Strong When...

I have been devouring Marcus Buckingham's strengths-based books and raving about them to readers of my careers website.

One of the activities he recommends in Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance is called a Strength Statement Card.

It's a great way to capture, clarify and confirm your strengths.

For instance, one of his strength statements says: "I feel strong when...I present, but only to a large group of people, on a subject I know a lot about, when I'm completely prepared, and when I know my presentation will further a mission."

The statement may mean nothing to anyone who reads it, but it means a lot to the creator, because it tells him exactly what makes him excel at his work.

Just yesterday, I had an extraordinary moment of strength while chatting with a friend's cousin. The cousin is here on holiday from Sg, and I soon discovered we had plenty in common. That made it easy to strike up a conversation.

Legal background.
Gave up full-time work to focus on her child's education and wellbeing.
Accustomed to Sg lifestyle of ready support from extended family and domestic help.
Struggling with the Big Decision:
Should she or should she not give up her comfortable Sg lifestyle to migrate to Aus?
What if things don't work out?
What if she can't get a job in Aus?

I sensed an immediate connection and a strong sense that she was bursting to tell someone all those things. And I happened to be there at the right place and the right time.

Synchronicity.

We chatted a bit and I shared my two cents' worth. What I particularly remember is a moment when I said (and I don't even know why I said it, and it certainly wasn't a sentiment I had ever expressed before) - "Singaporeans will thrive anywhere in the world. We've got a lot of positive traits and a good work ethic" etc etc.

My conversation partner said she was glad to hear me say all that.

Today, I heard from my friend that after talking to me, her cousin (who has held Aus PR for the past 15 years but has continually put off uprooting) is now a little more receptive to the idea of migrating to Aus.

How does that make me feel?

I guess you could say it makes me smile. :-)

Not because the outcome of her cousin's decision making makes a difference to me. It is after all a huge decision that she must arrive at and persuade herself of when she has made it. But simply because it confirmed what I'd already sensed while talking with her: there is a power that shines forth when I speak my truth from my heart.

So if I can distill down that act and the feeling into a strength statement, it would look like this (in very rough form):

I feel strong when...
I talk with someone who is contemplating or seeking change in her way of living, and I offer a thought, a personal truth or my perspective in a way that powerfully moves her to make a decision and to move forward and begin to live according to her new choices.

Good Advice For VCE Students And All Of Us

Another fantastic insight from the school newsletter this week:

"From my experience, life often opens up opportunities and outcomes in line with your expectations.

A prayerful attitude of expectation is unstoppable.

Why don't you test this yourself? In prayer ask for the best situations you desire, expecting the best of everything leading up to the exams: a calm and peaceful home life, the best health and energy levels, the best productive study time, the best feeling of peace and confidence on exam day, the best interactions with friends.

You will be surprised with the outcomes, especially if you give your very best to others in every situation as well."

How To Survive In Times Of Testing

A dear sister recently shared with me the following inspirational text, which really helped her through a prolonged period of testing and grief:

TRUST in His timing
RELY on His promises
WAIT for His answers
BELIEVE in His miracles
REJOICE in His goodness
RELAX in His presence.

Feng Shui and the Christian

This post is inspired by some material I received last night on Diamond Feng Shui, which you can read about here if you are interested.

Feng Shui (风水), which in Chinese means "wind water", is the ancient art of living in harmony with your physical environment. The Chinese believe that how you position the rooms in your house (even the facing of your doorway) and how you align your workspace affects your health, relationships, prosperity and how well you do in your career.

As a Singaporean Chinese, I grew up hearing my aunts insist that when you buy a house, you must make sure there isn't running water in front of your house (your luck will flow away).

I have a Malaysian friend who not too long ago managed to diagnose her friend's family problems - without having been told what they were - the minute she stepped through the door of the friend's house. Apparently, the master bedroom was near the entrance (as contemporary Aussie floorplans tend to be), there was a spiral staircase right in the centre of the foyer as you entered, there was an empty bedroom directly above the kitchen that had its windows permanently shut, etc etc.

I listened with fascination as my friend explained why all these living arrangements were incompatible with family harmony, finances and career progress. Her friend took her advice to heart and eventually sold up and moved out of the house.

Feng shui has become very popular in the West and is increasingly touted as a means of attaining or increasing one's health, wealth and success.

As a student of personal development and a Christian, I constantly ask myself if what I am learning is compatible with my faith. Is it wrong to observe and apply natural laws that ultimately were made by God?

If the position of my bed does in fact disrupt the energy and harmony of my marriage relationship, why wouldn't I reposition it?

If painting my wall a certain colour would encourage the inflow of money, why wouldn't I do it?

Those are all things I already desire: a loving relationship with my husband, more money so that I have the freedom to choose how I work without being tied down by I-need-money-to-pay-bills pressure.

If that's all it takes - moving things around the house - it doesn't seem too much to ask. After all, my understanding and knowledge are limited. Why not take advantage of someone else's wisdom, especially if that wisdom is thousands of years old and has proven beneficial for other people?

The tricky part comes, I think, when we give full credit to the Creation but forget to acknowledge the Creator.

And that is where most personal development practices and philosophies differ from the Christian faith.

Gurus like to talk about the laws of the universe, the Law of Attraction, natural laws etc and to persuade us to believe that the Universe wants us to succeed and is waiting to give us good things.

Well, the Universe as I know it is also a created thing. It did not come from nowhere. Its source is God. It deserves no more adulation and recognition than a beautiful flower or painting. It's like saying the Mona Lisa is one of the finest works of art of all time - and stopping there.

The Mona Lisa is the work of a person. And the Universe is the work of God.

The laws of energy or qi ( 气). The Law of Attraction. The laws of the Universe. All these are but human observations and interpretations of what God put in place at the beginning when he made the heavens and the earth.

During the time of Daniel the prophet, there were wise men and astrologers in King Nebuchadnezzar's palace. But none could equal the ability of Daniel. Not only could he interpret the king's dream, he could tell the king what that dream was. All the other wise men operated on the basis of "tell me your dream, and I will tell you what it means".

Daniel's ability did not come from himself, but from God. He was trying to save himself and the other wise men from an unfair execution. So he specifically asked God for the wisdom to know the king's dream and the meaning of it - and God honoured his request. Daniel made it very clear to the king that his special ability came from God. He gave God all the glory. He did not attribute his success to the stars or to himself.

Because it was so obvious that no one else in all the kingdom could match Daniel's supernatural ability, the king had no hesitation in accepting that Daniel's God was superior to all other gods. So in staying true to God and acknowledging His sovereignty and power, Daniel was materially rewarded.

So back to the question: can a Christian believe and practise the natural laws put in place by God?

I think the answer is yes, but the Christian has to tread very carefully.

As long as the Christian gives God the glory as Creator, He can enjoy and partake of the beauty, abundance and richness of Creation and all its amazing benefits. He can learn about the healing properties of herbs to improve his health and the health of loved ones. He can study those who are successful at what they do and who live inspired, fulfilling lives of service to others. He can study feng shui and how it affects his relationships, career and finances.

But he must never confuse the Creator with the created and fall into the delusion that he is the master of his own destiny and the author of his life script.

In a very limited sense, he is those things. Day to day, he makes choices that lead him in a certain direction and ultimately shape his life course.

But over and above all these, God is directing and shaping his course. God already knows what will happen next. If a person does not acknowledge God's role in his life and understand that he too is but part of Creation and his life is not his own, he is misguided.

This is a hard truth for the pre-Christian to accept. We would rather believe that we are the masters of our own destiny and that we can create the future we want.

Me?

Having seen the outcomes of some of my decisions and choices, I am glad - relieved - that it is not entirely up to me to determine my future. I would only make a hash of it. Either by being too much of something, or too little. My ego would get in the way. My lack of knowledge would trip me up. My fears would hold me back. In the end, I would be going forward and backward but making no real progress.

At the most, I am but a co-creator alongside God, in those situations where He graciously permits me to participate (like motherhood and childbirth).

And at the other end of the spectrum, I am one of His created. Made in His image and likeness, but a flawed representation in need of regular rescue and touch-ups.

Thank God for that.

When You Feel Demotivated

This fantastic extract came to me on a day when I was feeling a bit low in spirits and questioning my credibility as a coach...

From the Coaching Compass newsletter

Remember why you started on the path that you have chosen for yourself. Even if you are not quite to the point you want to be, enjoy your daily progress. Honor and even celebrate where you are right now. If you do not have fun with the steps you take forward, what is the point of continuing?

You will not be 100% complete with a goal if, at one time, you did not finish the first 25% of it. Embrace the plateaus of accomplishment. These can be natural resting spots. Do not confuse your current location on the path with your intended destination. This will only cause unnecessary stress because you are not there yet.

Keep moving in the direction of goals, and enjoy the journey. You will be there before you know it!

What Gets You Fired Up?

Was having a dialogue with someone about what fires her up and she said something really interesting.

She was talking about how she doesn't mind house chores BUT if the house is in a sad state and needing a lot of work to get it up to decent standard, she would be less motivated to clean it than if it were already in acceptable condition and all she had to do was continue maintaining it.

It takes less effort to maintain than to start again.

I guess the same principle applies to how motivated we feel about the projects we take on and the goals we set ourselves.

So the big question is...

If you are currently not in a good place in your career, how do you get to a place where you are ready, willing and able to commit to making that positive decision or critical next step that will take your career closer to your dream?

How Valuable Is Your Breath?

Chatting with a sister in Christ, I was struck by the way she interpreted the Chinese phrase 争一口气 (literally, to seize or gain a breath). The phrase is usually used to denote someone fighting to win because of a strong sense of personal pride. They want to have the last word, to be able to say to others, "See? I did it! I won!"

The desire to win at all costs is at the core of many personal and interpersonal problems. When we refuse to acknowledge our limitations or to be gracious enough to forgive another's failings because it might make us look like losers, we are bowing to the sin of self-reliance and pride.

Where does our existence come from? Not from ourselves. We live by the grace and will of God, who breathed life into Adam and Eve and who by His will sustains us. So while we strive and worry and seek answers to life's problems, we forget that our very beings are in the hands of Another who is far greater in wisdom and power.

Even our very breaths are on loan from our Creator. Should He decide to suspend our breathing ability for just a minute, our lives would instantly be snuffed out.

When we remember from where we come and to Whom we belong, it puts things in their proper perspective and we are encouraged to cease our endless, fruitless striving for material advancement and possessions.

The Surgeon

Reflecting on his recent experience on the operating table, my pastor had this to say in his latest bulletin message:

When you get yourself to the point where you accept that you need something to be done to improve your life, it is all pretty plain sailing as long as you are prepared to trust.

When it comes to the Divine Trinity operating on us, ... we are all too reluctant and untrusting of what God might do...

Imagine what it would have been like if I had sat up and told the surgeon what to do to my leg... My job in this whole process...was to relax and receive.

Why are we so reluctant to allow God this sort of prominence and power in our lives, especially when unlike the hospital system, the Surgeon has already paid the bill through Jesus Christ?

Thought Of The Day: The Value Of Face Value

"Rightly or wrongly people assume you are qualified at what you do."

This came out of a coaching newsletter that I subscribe to.

The writer took the words right out of my mouth.

Since I changed careers 4 years ago, I have found this line particularly true.

When I declared to complete strangers that I was a writer, no one asked me where I got my writing credentials or how dare I presume to be the next JK Rowling or Stephenie Meyer.

When I said I was a career coach, no one asked if I was ICF certified.

They were more interested in how long I'd been coaching/writing and what areas I coached or wrote about.

There are 2 interesting observations I would venture to make.

First, people are primarily obsessed with themselves. They think about themselves morning, noon and night.

How do I look? What do others think of me? Is my hair alright? Is my outfit alright? Did I say something dumb when talking to the moms at school?

People want to know how your self-description is relevant to their current situation.

So if you say you are a writer, they might ask: What do you write about? Oh, you proofread essays and resumes? Do I need your service? Yes, I actually need someone to look at my resume before I send it out. Who else do I know that might need your service? The senior students at my child's school who are preparing for university entrance? My co-worker is thinking of changing jobs. Maybe he could talk to you about his resume.

If you say you are a career coach, they might say: How does coaching work? What sort of clients do you work with? People in career transitions? That's interesting. I have actually been thinking about making a career change. I have this work issue that's bothering me. What do you think of it? How might you be able to help me?

As the writer of the newsletter correctly says, people tend to take us at face value.

This is a huge advantage that we don't often recognize.

If you could say anything you liked and know you could get away with it, what would you say about yourself: who you are, what your values are, what your vision in life is?

Would you dare to go as big as your dreams?

Would you limit yourself to a job description ("I work in a bank" or "I'm just a homemaker" or "I'm a wife and mother")?

How about describing what you do in terms of how it helps someone else?

For instance: "I help people explore their career options and understand how they work best so that they are clear about what types of careers suit them."

"I help women with weight loss and body image issues to feel good about who they are, to accept that they have the power to choose how they see themselves, and to take actions that help them become the image of themselves that they secretly desire but didn't think was possible."

The next time someone asks you what you do, remember: you have their permission to say anything you like about yourself.

And make it something authentic, powerful and intriguing.

You are what you think.

As A Man Thinketh, So Is He

Watch your thoughts: They become your words.

Watch your words: They become your actions.

Watch your actions: They become your habits.

Watch your habits: They become your character.

Watch your character: It becomes your destiny.

Michael Oliver, NaturalSelling.com

The #1 Skill That Dwarfs Everything Else

"Taking real steps of any kind is what it takes, no matter where you are... But it's safer just to read some more, or do something that feels like you're doing something, but that doesn't really move you towards your NEXT important goal..."

Does this sound like you?

If the answer's yes, you need to master the #1 skill that dwarfs everything else.

Me? I'm going to take a leaf out of Ken's book and do 20 toe touches when I jump out of bed tomorrow.

PS. To log in to the forum as my guest, key in career-change-confidence.com as your ID and password. You will see yourself online as "Guest of Career-Change-Confidence.com".

How A Simple Charitable Idea Created Nearly 2000 Blankets For AIDS Orphans

When the soaring unemployment rate and mortgage stress are the topics that dominate our conversations and our thoughts, we all need a bit of cheering up.

Here's a story that will inspire you and help put your challenges in perspective.

Sandy started Knit A Square to attract interest to her aunt's charitable cause in Soweto, South Africa.

The resulting response from visitors to the site is simply amazing.

Read Sandy's story here.

To log in as my guest on the forum, simply key in career-change-confidence.com as your ID and password.

You will then see yourself logged in as "Guest of Career-Change-Confidence.com".

Enjoy.

With All I Am (By Hillsong)

As Good Friday draws near, let us be reminded of how much He loved us, how He gave His only Son to die for us so that we could be restored in fellowship to Him.

Would you give your only child for someone who might not appreciate your sacrifice and might even scorn your gesture?

I know I would not.

Not unless it were made possible by the supernatural grace of God.

"You're the reason that I live, the reason that I sing, with all I am."

Jesus Paid It All - Video

Death Of An Old Friend

An Obituary printed in the London Times -

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults,
not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining
their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but need not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and
by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Do Chemical Engineers Get Chemical-Engineering Block?

I love this talk by Elizabeth Gilbert on the subject of creativity.

EG is the author of Eat, Pray, Love.

I haven't read the book but I loved listening to her speak. She's so confident, articulate, funny and real.

Watch the video here.

The Work

I was introduced to the work of Byron Katie by life coach David Wood, whose coaching resources have helped me.

Byron Katie helps people end their suffering (her phrase, not mine) by asking three piercing questions when someone says they have a problem. It might be how they feel about themselves; money anxiety; pain of rejection; loss of a loved one.

E.g. "There's something wrong with me."

BK. "Is that true?"

BK. "How do you know it's true?"

BK. "Who would you be without that thought?"

Then she gets the person to do a "turnaround" by saying to themselves the reverse of the thought that's plaguing them.

In the above example, it would be "There's something right with me."

Then she asks you to prove it with examples of how you have done things right.

Maybe you have great friends.
Maybe you ARE a great friend.
You have the perfect body for you.
You have a great laugh.
You are a great teacher.

Check out some of the videos of interviews she has done with people.
Self
Money
Pressure
Fear of the future

Music Teaching - The Second Year

I have started teaching keyboard again, without actively planning for it.

I had an inquiry from a friend at church, who asked if I would coach her two boys.

I said yes, and we started on Sat after I'd assessed where they are currently in their level of musical understanding.

One is a complete beginner. The other plays the guitar, so he already knows quite a bit about chords.

I am teaching chord piano using a combination of resources by Scott "The Piano Guy" Huston and Duanne Shinn, "The Headless Piano Teacher".

It's so much more fun than learning classical piano, I tell you.

On Sunday, I had an inquiry from another family about beginner lessons for their teenage son. They're shopping for a keyboard, so once they've got that sorted, we can start lessons.

I'm so excited at being able to share my music knowledge with young people, and to be able to introduce them to the joy of playing the keyboard without the stress and hassle I endured during my time.

What's the Secret of Success?

Success is not the basis of Happiness.

Happiness is the basis of Success.

No Wonder I Didn't Get Far In My Career

New Management

Hold the elevator, folks
A friend is moving on to the upper floors
Though we may see her face no more
You, World, must sit up and mind yourself
There's new management in the house.

Excerpt from Tribute: My First walk in 2009
A poem by Ali Kati

The link to this poem was posted by ShinsCancerBlog. SCB is the inspiring journal of Singapore wife and mother Shin Na, who passed away of breast cancer on 27 Jan 2009.

Working Student Gets To Speak With Obama

Overwhelmed By Gratitude

I went to the ATM this morning to get some money for the gardener for tomorrow.

As I studied the tiny balance displayed on the screen, the feeling that came to me was one of...GRATITUDE.

Strange, isn't it? Here I am feeling blessedly provided for and taken care of even though my bank balance is missing a few zeroes at the end.

Yet why should I not feel thankful?

I have a home that is perfect for us and for our guests.

My husband has just had his contract renewed.

There are redraw funds available for school fees.

The children are healthy.

My creative right brain continues to suggest random ideas and to hear where Brass or Fantasia might fit in during band practice.

My passion for words, careers, wellbeing and growth is alive and well (sometimes a trickle, sometimes a torrent).

And I still (foolishly, perhaps) believe that each of us can make a difference in the world.

Yes, God is good - even in the midst of bushfires, floods, unsolved murders and the seeming senselessness of life.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I know Valentine's Day is such an overcommercialized occasion.

But let's look at how we can make it what it was meant to be: a time to remember those we love.

What do you do for those you love? What do you wish for them?

I'm guessing you would spend some time, effort and maybe money making them feel special.

And you would wish only good things for them.

Health. Peace. Abundance. Joy. Freedom.

So if your loved one could use some health-giving information, you could point her in the right direction, say to a book about nutritional medicine or a website dedicated to organic health products.

If your loved one has lost his job because of the recession or is struggling to find meaning in his work, you could show him how to create an income that doesn't depend on the economy or the benevolence of his employer.

As the oft-quoted wisdom says, the simplest and best things in life are free.

Happy Valentine's Day!