The Magic of Not Knowing

I love serendipity.

I love the magic that happens when you let go and just trust in the right people and opportunities to flow to you.

On Wed, I was due to meet with the rep of a local newspaper to discuss a possible spot in a feature they are doing. Had no idea what it was about or even how he found me but said yes anyway.

So I rock up to Werribee Baptist before 2 pm and no one's there. I chat with the admin lady, who like me works p/t for the church, and start forming a lovely rapport with a lovely individual. Our conversation ends with her inviting me over for a cuppa the next time I'm at work.

I wait another 15 mins, and conclude that said person must be stuck in traffic or lost his way in the rain or maybe in an accident (oh dear!). When I get home, I call and leave a voice message for the person asking if he's okay.

I also decide that I'm going to let go of the outcome of this and not try to chase up on the matter.

Today, I get a call from said rep to find out what happened on Wed. Turns out he went to the Anglican Church on Synnot St and wondered why it was closed! We had a good laugh and right there on the line I felt a warm fuzzy feeling and the beginnings of rapport forming.

We've now made an appointment to meet up next Wed. Same time, same place, and this time he promises to look up the address and have my mobile number with him.

I finally got to ask him The Question: how'd you get my number?

"Oh, from the Council database."

"The Business Directory?"

"Yep, that's the one."

There's a good reason why the Business Development Officer at the Council kept encouraging me to get on the database, and I've emailed to let her know she was right!

Accomplishments and Fun Things To Come

This week, I...

• had a chat with a dear lady who came to see me about coaching because she thinks she can do more with her life (did I mention she's 70+ yo??)
• called two people to account over their personal and business standards (when I normally would have shrugged it off because I wanted to avoid being confrontational)
• opened my business bank account
• connected with various lovely business owners on FB and bought a birthday present off one of them for my BFF (hope she loves it!)
• offered a free Personal Goal Setting session to all my FB likers (just another way to reach out!)
  
• received a surprise thank-you gift from an overseas client, to say she appreciated the pro bono coaching I've given her
• attended an ATO seminar, acted as if I was the host and initiated conversation, gave away biz cards, made my 30-second elevator pitch in new ways and got to know some local womenpreneurs
• got Jim's Mowers in to remove the weeds and tidy the backyard so it looks much more presentable and inviting
• finished in the office today so I have tomorrow afternoon off while Miss J is at kindy...yay :)
• had a surprise accountability call from TCI which made me feel so validated and positive about my biz
• signed up to crew for the Dec intake with TCI (a huge step because there's no changing your mind once you say yes, it's gonna mean 3 11-hour days, I'll need solid childcare arrangements, and I am thinking of stepping up enough to drive myself to the city and home since it's daylight savings)
• added my details to the I Am A Business Owner In Victoria group on FB
  

I am excited about...

• coffee chat tomorrow with a delightful young friend who has shown a great interest in my coaching journey
• appointment with Wyndham Council on Mon to see the biz devt officer about all the resources and opportunities available to new biz
• tomorrow night's needs assessment phone session with someone I met at a seminar more than 2 months ago and developed a rapport with
• working out my biz vision and mission statement after tonight's webinar with the ever-helpful and generous coach Meg Filip.
  

Step Up!

Throughout my training with TCI, we coaches have been exhorted to Step Up.

This is a phrase that hasn't been part of my vocab till now. Just another thing I've never really thought about.

Then yesterday when I was in the office, my boss came up to me to deliver his last-minute instructions before taking off for the next five weeks. And he said I had to Step Up To The Plate now that I'm paid staff. His idea of stepping up includes chasing people to make sure they follow through with what they are supposed to be doing. (And I thought I'd signed up just to do filing, produce the weekly newsletter and arrange duty rosters!)

I can tell you right off that telling people what to do is one of those things in my Don't Like folder, from back when I was in a leadership position at work. I'd much rather work on my own and accomplish my own goals, thank you.

But now I find myself Stepping Up in new ways.

This week, a fellow coach raved about how she loves my career website because it's so organized and informative and thorough. We got talking about how I might be able to help someone like her who is time-poor and doesn't write effortlessly. So tonight we're having a further chat to discuss how I can provide her with content for her new website.

For me, Stepping Up means not just saying yes to the opportunity to turn my writing skills into a possible niche, but also recognizing that if I want to help my friend create an effective online presence, I have to start learning all about social media and SEO and all the techie stuff I've put on my Someday list.

It's not enough to be just a good writer of content; I need to be a great writer - one who knows all about which keyword to use and where - for the benefit of my clients.

And guess what happened?

As I went through my inbox last night, I clicked on an email by David Riklan of SelfGrowth.com, and it was a video presentation by Ryan Deiss about his partner Kate Buck Jr, some successful Social Media Manager. Riveting story...but the best thing about it was its timeliness. I'm being offered an opportunity to learn all about social media marketing and to even have my own biz if I want. All the templates, audios, videos and support I need come with the package if I say yes.

So what did I do?

Said yes of course.

I want to learn about FB marketing and how to position myself and my brand so I can be found online. Last I looked, my new FB biz fan page had just 11 likes. Not enough to have my own username (you need 25 likes at least). Very sad. This is feedback (not failure!), so what do Ineed to do about it to become someone that others would happily click the Like button for even if they don't know me?

That's partly why I said yes to Kate.

And if I can succeed at creating a strong FB and Twitter etc presence for myself, imagine what I could do for my clients!

A coach who also provides writing services and helps her clients create a strong online presence so their businesses can soar.

How cool is that?

Then this morning, I received an email from an ex-client asking if I could teach her how to pray.

And I thought, wow, spiritual coaching - another niche?

And I am having to Step Up again.

Because other than the Lord's Prayer and what I've learned from years of being a Christian, what do I really know about prayer?

So I did the next best thing. I made a time to chat more fully over the phone, and meanwhile you can be sure I'll be reading up everything I can about prayer and how to pray effectively.

That's my definition of Stepping Up.

What Does Success Mean To You?

On tonight's Conversations With A Master Coach webinar, the facilitator asked how we celebrate the successes and little milestones on our coaching journey.

I'll just blog about mine here.

I can think of at least two successes I want to give myself a pat on the back for today.

One. I had a Parent-Teacher Interview this afternoon and couldn't really think of what to ask Beth's teacher, except to give her a heads up about the possibility that we might be changing schools next year.

She was understandably taken aback, concerned and sorry at the prospect of losing an academically inclined student, but fully understood that there are some decisions we just have to make.

Confession: I am and have always been a sook. The kind of person who cries over other people's sad stories, when watching sad movies, or because the other person is crying. I can't trust myself to hold it in and maintain a dignified appearance, however hard I try to program myself internally. I'm just wired that way.

But today, as I watched the panorama of emotion unfold on the teacher's face and read in it compassion, kindness and sincerity from one human to another, I felt a surge of power from within.

The imbalance that usually puts me on edge when I'm in the presence of an authoritative figure...Gone.

The physical tremors and feeling of coldness that usually come over me when I feel I have to defend or justify my actions...Gone.

The tears that automatically well up when I'm on the receiving end of someone's pity, which somehow triggers a "Poor me" reaction which makes me feel even more helpless and hopeless...Gone.

In its place was a sense of personal power, purpose and focus. I was actually able to manage my state and communicate as one equal to another. That to me is amazing because I tend to be easily overawed by others, especially authority figures like teachers, officials, religious leaders, and just anyone who seems supremely confident and certain of themselves.

Our little 15-minute chat went overtime because we were both so intensely in sync - for the first time all year - talking not only about Beth, but also about what I am doing in terms of career and studies. The teacher's curiosity gave me the opportunity to share about my coaching training and what coaching means and how it helps others. I was even able to give her a link to where I post the articles I write.

Two. I decided to email the teacher to say thank you.

But I didn't stop there, as I normally do.

I decided to make a reference to what we'd discussed by inserting two little 'P.S.'es: a link to my career website with a request for feedback, and an invitation to chat further about how my coaching knowledge might help the school community.

That latter bit, the call to action and the implied putting myself out there ("This is me, Serena Tan, doing what I love and looking to share it with those who are ready and willing to change"), is another milestone for me.

I have spent most of my life being invisible by choice, for fear of being in the spotlight. But I know I am doing myself and others a disservice if I fail to let my light shine. So even though I feel the fear (of the unknown, of not being good enough etc etc), I am doing it anyway.

Embracing the uncertainty.

Saying yes and working out how as I go along.

Forcing the ripple effect with one conscious, purposeful act.

Just to see where it leads.

Because I want to know where playing at 100% will take me to.

And if it doesn't work out, it's not failure. It's only feedback, nothing personal.

Two simple acts inspired in part by the life-changing training and resources TCI has given me.

This - to me - is Success.

What is your definition of Success?

Received some positive feedback from my boss and our Church Council chairman over the weekend.

It's a great feeling and makes me want to keep doing better in my new job.

My boss is going to be overseas the next couple of weeks, which I means I'm in charge of publishing the newsletter and running the office.

I've started compiling manuals and procedures to help me keep track of where everything important is, so everything continues to run smoothly in his absence.

Lots of gray areas and new questions keep popping up. Steep learning curve. But with God's help and the help of my church family, I know I can nail this. I'm gonna focus on the opportunities in the challenge and on making a difference in the wellbeing of our leaders and the running of our church.

Am saturating myself in the TCI materials.

There's so much! The Starter Kit that came in the post last week, the members' resources on the website (videos, mp3 recordings, schedule of webinars), Free Yourself From Fears With NLP by Joseph O' Connor.

Today, I had my Personal Success Goal Setting chat with Coach Lisa.

I heard myself say the most incredible things...

3 months from my Intake weekend, I want to have set up my coaching practice.

6 months from my Intake weekend, I want to have recouped my Diploma investment.

When you're in a safe and supportive environment, the fear factor is greatly reduced and conversely, you rediscover the courage to be extraordinary.

Just need to remember to ACT on everything I'm learning.

A Success Formula For The Ethical Individual

I full realize that no wealth or position can long endure, unless built upon truth and justice; therefore, I will engage in no transaction which does not benefit all whom it affects.
I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, the cooperation of other people.
I will induce others to serve me, necause of my willingness to serve others.
I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness, and cynicism, by developing love for all humanity, because I know that a negative attitude toward others can never bring me success.
I will cause others to believe in me, because I will believe in them, and in myself.

From Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill

The Most Common Regret

'Those who work with the elderly report that at the end of life, the most common regret is not over what we did, but what we failed to do: the chance not taken, the business not started, the invention not patented, the dream not followed, the talent not nourished, the novel not written, the product not tested, the trip not taken, the apology not offered - so much music that died, bottled up inside us, because we were too timid to let it out!'

From an email by Sharon Pearson, founder of The Coaching Institute

The Reason We Rejoice

Today was a very significant day for the Tan household.

It was our first Good Friday service at SDA, our congregation's spiritual home for the next 52 weeks, and also our first Combined Good Friday Service at Wyndham Leisure and Events Centre.

Being in a tiny room with just one guitarist, one drummer and a keyboardist (me) and rows of chairs - no pews - reminded me of my MYF and VCF days. Really, what more do we need to worship God meaningfully?

At the combined service, I was overwhelmed by the number of people present. All these my brothers and sisters from churches all over Wyndham. People I might have met in the Plaza or at school or on the street but never knew were fellow believers.

I loved the seamlessness of the musos (the mark of true professionals) and the way each pastor spoke masterfully during his allotted time, then made way for the next person.

Each led in his own special way, and each exhibited the sincerity, conviction and authenticity that to me is evidence of God's grace at work in his life.

I was particularly bowled over by the pastor who reminded us that in Australia, there are only two days in the year when Coles, Woolworths and Bunnings are closed: the day Jesus died, and the day He rose again.

Amen to that eternal and unchanging truth!

May all who have yet to say yes have that opportunity to do so before Jesus returns.

Answered Prayer

After days of to-ing and fro-ing over the missing OTP, with both Auspost and Speedpost seemingly unable to assist, I finally received the news we had been hoping for from our agent in SG.

"I have just called speedpost, they managed to receive the item today afternoon!!.... So I should receive it either tonite or tomorrow

I will inform the buyer's agent now and will do the necessary."

This came 5 mins after I'd replied to her earlier email to let the buyers know we intended to honour our original agreement. They were apparently worried that we might change our minds, which would portend having to go through the househunting process all over again, when they had already sold their own flat.

Hubby and I had discussed and suggested to our agent that perhaps the buyers could wait for us to arrive in SG to re-sign the OTP if it really remained missing.

We must commend the customer service officer that I spoke with this morning - Michael.

Of the 3 officers I spoke with in the last two days, he has been the most helpful and compassionate. He took down my details and our agent's, promised he would initiate an investigation as our promised delivery time clearly exceeded the 2-4 business days guideline, allocated us a case number that we can use to track the progress of the investigation, and promised to contact Speedpost to find out what had happened.

We are guessing that it is his enquiry and contact with Speedpost that enabled them to suddenly retrieve our documents from their system.

Most importantly, this officer was the one who enlightened us as to how the EMS courier system works. Apparently, our documents left Melbourne and arrived in SG on the same day (a fact not mentioned by the other 2 officers) because flights between Melb and SG are direct.

So the delay has all this while been on the part of the SG side i.e. Speedpost. Without this clarification, we were unable to point the finger of blame at anyone.

While all this drama was going on, I remember thinking that perhaps God had other plans for our flat, and I prayed that we would remain within His will whatever happened.

Thanks be to God for His grace and provision. He really does take care of all our needs.

Mum and Me

It's been an interesting 2 weeks with Mum visiting.

I still remember 4 years ago when she came to visit after Miss J was born. How stressful it had been having her share my physical space. How cramped, resentful and insecure I felt. How mortified I was when she barged into and dominated conversations and social situations involving church friends whom she had only just met.

What irked me most was that because of my upbringing and natural timidity, I hadn't the courage to speak up about how I really felt, and to say no to things I wasn't comfortable about.

My mum, you see, lacks a sensibility about boundaries.

As a result, she frequently intrudes on others' privacy without even knowing it. And if confronted, she responds with a hurt and bewildered air. She does this to members of the extended family and as a consequence, she is the marginalized one in the clan.

I have this theory, rightly or wrongly, that in every large family, there is invariably one older relative, usually single, usually female, who irritates everyone else and whom no one particularly warms to. But because they're family, they can't be completely ignored either.

In my family, that's Mum.

But I can't bring myself to explain to her why others feel offended and manipulated by her.

It would mean disclosing that I am privy to these sensitive conversations with the rest of the relations, and she would feel betrayed.

When Mum first announced that she was coming to stay, I kept hoping she would put off the trip or even change her mind about coming.

But here she is for 3 weeks.

And I've survived intact so far.

I would even be so positive as to say that 90% of the time, I am able to get along with her without feeling resentful or irritable like I normally do when we're under the same roof.

Perhaps God has been hard at work on the both of us, bringing us towards the middle ground, enabling us to focus on what we agree on rather than what divides us.

The girls have been a great connector and a lens through which I am able to see Mum in a different light.

Mind you, I am still not proud of how Mum manipulates people into doing things her way.

I wince when she makes remarks that reveal her racial, cultural and socio-economic prejudices about people she is meeting for the first time.

And I roll my eyes when she declaims to friends and acquaintances how she has helped us with household chores and babysitting Miss J when I'm out running errands.

When all's said and done, perhaps it's not about me vs. her but about making peace where possible and standing up for what's right where necessary.

Just when I stopped looking...

Last Oct, the Lord rekindled my songwriting ability.

Together, we wrote 2 songs - Do Not Be Anxious and The Song of Peter and John.

Then I got caught up in the dramatic possibilities of Paul's speech to the Athenians in Acts 17.

For days I kept going back to the words:

I see that you're religious
For as I walked around
I even found an altar
To an unknown God

Now what you worship as unknown
I will proclaim to you

The God who made the world and everything in it
is the Lord of heaven and earth
He does not live in temples
He is not served by human hands
For he gives all men life and breath and everything

But I just kept getting stuck. It wouldn't come.

So that's a draft I'll have to get back to at some point.

But here's the great news...

Yesterday (18 Feb 2011), I wrote my 3rd song!

The first draft was done in about 3 hours and is inspired by Psalm 121 and Lionel Richie's Hello.

I've titled it I Lift Up My Eyes.

I got started on it because I was trying to write something meaningful and encouraging for a recently bereaved dear friend.

The first person to hear it live was hubby. His comment: "Ah, the chords are very intricate, very hard for the congregation to sing. This is more of a solo performance."

Point noted.

He also suggested I add a longer intro, so that's what I've done. The vocals are a bit soft though, something to work on. (I never did get the hang of singing from my diaphragm!)

Verse 1:

I lift up my eyes to the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth

Verse 2:

He will not let your foot slip
He who watches over you will not slumber
He who watches Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep

Chorus:

The Lord watches over you
He's your shade at your right hand
The sun will not harm you by day
Nor the moon by night

The Lord will keep you from harm
He will watch over your life
He will watch over your coming and going
From now and forevermore

Back to verses 1 and 2 => Chorus => Repeat chorus

The Call

On 28 Jan, I received a phone call.

The kind you read about in newspaper articles in relation to a tragedy.

The kind of phone call you hope never to receive.

How the caller is feeling now I cannot begin to imagine.

Even praying for the caller and her family doesn't feel like doing much.

It's too unreal.

Like something that happens only to 'others'. (I know how selfish that sounds.)

Loss has come too close this time. It has broken through into my inner circle of relationships, and it feels like life will never be the same again.

To those closest to the maelstrom, I imagine life will assume a different hue from now on: 'before 28 Jan' and 'after 28 Jan'.

It is not a good feeling, and I pray this never happens to you.

"God works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform."

May His love, grace and peace be sufficient in this sad time.

What have I stored up in my heart?

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.
Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.
People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers.
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.
For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
Luke 6:43-45

Was reflecting on this passage and several thoughts struck me.

• The quality of fruit is consistent with its source/parent. Good tree = Good fruit. Good fruit = Good tree. My actions will either bless or betray me. And others.
• Good and evil are stored up in the heart. They don't leak or deplete. They keep filling up till the container is full and overflows. For good or bad. Imagine a full petrol tank, a bank account will lots of zeroes (in the right places), a water tank after a rainy spell.
• Our speech reflects what's been quietly building up in our hearts. Sometimes, one remark is all it takes to reveal what's really important to us. Thoughtless words that hurt and demean could be traced back to negative thinking, wrong attitudes, a self-centred lifestyle, stimulation that entertains us but does not improve us. Trashy books, movies and TV shows. Acquaintances who pursue materialism, instant gratification of the senses and the attitude that you have only one life and you may as well enjoy it to the full, who cares about others and what they think. In contrast, words that help and heal and point someone to the straight and narrow path may well be the fruit of years of right thinking, right action, wholesome sources of stimulation, time spent reflecting on what is good and pure, a desire to be holy, a consistent walk with God.
  

Let us be mindful of what we say, because our words reveal the true us beneath our masks of politeness and convention.

The Grapevine Story

Reproduced from the latest newsletter sent out to subscribers of my website:

Vines have been on my mind a lot lately.

Just outside my kitchen window is a sprawling grapevine planted by the people that used to live in our house.

The grapevine has spread all across the underside of the pergola, forming a lovely cool canopy in summer. Tendrils twirl around the washing line. When random vines intertwine, they form a bond so strong it can only be severed by a pair of secateurs.

The funny thing about the vines is: the more I prune them, the faster they seem to grow. They practically beg to be trimmed, leaning down into my face so that I walk right into them and have to notice their presence.

Nature has a lesson for us here.

As we go through life, there are times of reaping and harvest, when everything goes smoothly and it feels like life can't get more wonderful than this.

Then there are times of setbacks and challenges, the valley times, when every step is pain and struggle and loneliness.

When bad things happen, some people react as if they have been punished.

"Why is this happening?"

"Why me?"

"What have I done to deserve this?"

How Pruning Leads To New Growth

I prefer to think of hard times as a time of Pruning.

According to How To Grow Grapes: Choosing Varieties, Vines, Pruning, Trellis

by Linette Gerlach, there are two very good reasons for regularly pruning your grapevine.

One: Pruning allows maximum airflow and sunshine to reach the fruit. If you do not prune, you will have less fruit, and the fruit you do get will be smaller in size.

Two: If you do not prune, your grapevine will become unruly and harvest time will be tough.

I believe the same applies to how we live our lives. You and I are the vine, and our families, relationships, careers - all the things to which we daily apply our energy and creativity - are the fruits.

If we do not regularly perform a self-check to weed out the things that impede our personal growth - bad habits, false beliefs, an unhealthy lifestyle, poor relationships - we will find at the end of the journey that the fruits we produce are less powerful, less lasting, less sweet, and fewer than they might have been.

Every day is a good day to pause and check what needs to be pruned from our lives, so that we can grow Stronger, Bigger, Better.

Why not make a start today?

See you next month.

---

THOUGHT OF THE MONTH

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without,
the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.

Horace Bushnell

Seeds of faith are always within us;
sometimes it takes a crisis to nourish and encourage their growth.

Susan Taylor

Lessons from the Vine

Have received some interesting responses to my grapevine story, which was the main article in my Jan 2011 newsletter.

Here's one:

Thank you so much today. I left feeling refreshed and filled. Your grapevine story was so uplifting.

And another:

As always, I look forward to read "The Happy Worker' articles:)

Yes, I will check on what needs to be pruned and grow stronger, bigger, better.

I can't wait to fulfil God's purpose. I pray that HE will help me discover the gifts HE placed within me so that I can use them for HIS glory.

I am still thinking about your grapevine story. It motivates me :)

When Mum gets mad

Find myself getting angry over little things and big things.

When my kids interrupt me while I'm online/reading/enjoying some quiet time...

When my kids refuse to get out of bed/get dressed/brush their teeth, which makes us late getting to church/class...

When the kids give me a hard time and hubby isn't around to help (cos he's out helping someone else, which makes me feel resentful but also guilty that I'm so xiao3 qi4)...

When hubby comes home and I want to update him on what's happened during the day, but find myself getting annoyed because of the extra effort it takes to explain who's so-and-so or why something has happened...

Being the sole breadwinner, he's never around to take the kids to school or pick them up. He doesn't know their teachers except when he meets them at the parent-teacher interview. He doesn't know about their friendships and social interactions, or who the mum/dad of our child's friend is, except at birthday parties.

That gives me mixed feelings.

I am happy and proud that I have a good, close relationship with my girls. I love knowing their friends and their friends' parents.

But being a SAHM with no steady source of income also makes me frustrated, resentful and underachieving.

Yes, I fell into this path, and allowed it to continue for five years.

In this time, I have tried my hand at affiliate marketing, internet marketing, freelance writing, proofreading and copy editing, career coaching.

They have resulted in the acquisition of new life skills and an insight into how others do it, but not much in extra income. The "I did it, and so can you" promises of many a marketing ad have not brought similar results in my bank balance.

I am still lacking the critical elements: a sound business plan, a good marketing strategy and a team of experts to advise me.

It sounds all too hard, or maybe I'm too soft for the entrepreneurial path.

Perhaps I am made to work at a steady job in an organization and be happy with it, not hanker after what is not mine.

Which is a pretty depressing way of saying I have come Full Circle, and discovered that I was on the 'right' path all along, and should have just stuck with it.

Putting in the hours

Two sessions of playgroup aren't a lot.

But I reckon over the past two Mondays, I've honed up my communication skills, organization skills and social skills more than would have been possible if I'd said no to relieving the regular playgroup coordinator.

And I've confronted my fears (what if I can't unlock the church? what if I don't lock up properly? what if I can't manage on my own? I don't know how to talk to kids), overcome them and experienced God's providence.

As Filipino preacher/missionary Bo Sanchez says, you have to put in the hours (10,000 is Malcolm Gladwell's recommendation) if you want to get better at anything. And the best way to do it is to say yes to every opportunity that comes along.

The fine print I missed

Hubby and I are on a $29 Cap plan with '3' for our mobile phones.

My conversation with iPrimus customer service yesterday inspired me to take a closer look at our latest bill.

I'm trying to see if there's any way to cut down the monthly cost.

And here's what I discovered: the plan requires a minimum spend of $29 per person per month. If you spend more than that, they credit you the difference (you get rewarded). If you spend less than that, you get charged (penalized!).

Not only that, our plan actually has a $150 cap limit that includes $100 of international calls.

Which we've never used.

We've always just bought a $10 ICC and used it up till it expired, if we didn't remember to recharge it before.

Hubby spent only $10 last month and was charged $18 for breaching the minimum cap requirement.

I spent $34 and received a $5 credit that brought me back down to $29, so I actually benefitted.

Two options going forward - either use hubby's mobile to make international calls to SG to get up to the $29 cap, or ask '3' how we can downgrade hubby's plan.

We've had the plan for more than a year and this is the FIRST time I've actually bothered to scrutinize the plan.

All we've ever focused on is paying the bill on time (and this goes for all our other bills).

Until now.

The Courage to Challenge

From this week's church bulletin:

Dear God,
If I am completely honest with you, for some reason I am reluctant to share my story of faith with others.
Most times I prefer people to catch my faith rather than for them to comprehend it through a conversation with them.
This week I ask Lord that you will use my life as an example but also as an explanation of what you have done in and through me by Jesus Christ.
Help me to trust you to do the work of changing people's lives.
It is not my job to change people, just to challenge them.
Your Holy Spirit working in and through me and on those who you are speaking to through me is the one who makes the difference.

How did my pastor know what lies heavy on my heart this morning?

Last night, I denied the Lord.

I had a non-believing friend over for dinner.

As we were about to tuck in, my husband indicated from across the table that I should lead the prayer of thanksgiving. Everyone bowed their heads, even our guest. I was stunned, thinking my husband must have made a mistake. I frantically gestured to him that we couldn't do that because our guest was not a believer and it would be rude to impose our faith on her. There came a few tense moments as we gestured back and forth, causing an air of uncertainty on my part as to what was the right thing to do, and on the part of the rest. They must have wondered, what was going on? In the end, I said a lame "Tuck in!" and everyone fell to the meal.

But at what cost?

On reflection, I could easily have given thanks the way we usually do at home, and perhaps our guest would have gone along with it, accepting it as the custom of our family.

It would have spoken volumes of our faith.

Especially when there was a plaque on the wall behind me declaring "Christ is the Head of this house, the Unseen Guest at every meal, the Silent Listener to every conversation".

For the sake of courtesy and not wanting to offend, I forfeited the opportunity to give glory to God and to declare my affiliation with pride.

The whole night long, I was mortified over the incident. I asked God's forgiveness for my lack of faithfulness, for fearing men rather than God.

I feel God's quiet rebuke and admonishment but also His generous compassion and forgiveness. In response, there rises in me a determination to rise to His challenge, to share my life and my faith without apology and without fear.

God grant me the ability to stand up for His name from this moment on, so that I will never again sell out Jesus for fear of someone else's opinion.