Effortless and Authentic Rapport Building for Introverts

For a long time, I bought into the belief that it's hard for introverts to relate to people, especially people they don't know.

In the last couple of days, I have busted that myth not once but TWICE.

On Friday, I was at Dale Beaumont and Dr John Demartini's seminar at the Melbourne Convention Centre. I went with an open heart to learn and to engage with anyone who might cross my path.

The whole morning, I felt a little left out because the lady on my left seemed to click so well with the lady on her left, and the lady on my right discovered a fellow Demartini fan in the guy on her right. Everyone seemed to have someone to talk with except me.

Yet when lunchtime came, I found myself saying to the lady on my right, "So where do you plan to do lunch?"

And she mentioned a couple of places around the corner and ended with, "Why don't you just follow me?"

Lunchtime became such a gift because I discovered how much we had in common, which made conversation easy and effortless.

I even built rapport with the guy at the counter and discovered he's Malaysian and has been in AUS for just 6 months. When he brought our food, I thanked him with "Terima Kasih", which tickled my lunch partner because she's been to Bali and she says everyone goes "Terima Kasih" all the time.

Yesterday, while waiting for Beth to finish her drum class, a young guy with a guitar came in. He sat down near me and we made eye contact. Quite extraordinary for me because I don't usually look strangers in the eye like that. But we did.

And proceeded to have the most delightful conversation about guitar, the gigs he does when he's not being an IT guy, how the teenage girl in the guitar class puts him to shame with her amazing rendition of Sweet Home Alabama.

At the end of our little chat, he introduced himself and asked me my name.

Simple ordinary and unexpected occasions like this, I'm discovering, are perfect for practising rapport building skills and expanding my comfort zone. You never know when you'll make a new friend.

Ask and you shall receive

How many times have I held back on what I wanted because I didn't dare to ask?

How many times have I let precious opportunities slip away because I was afraid the answer might be no?

Yesterday, I took my fear in hand...and asked.

I ASKED the receptionist at Wyndham Vale CLC if she would accept flyers for my March workshops at Tarneit CLC.

She got up from her seat, took my flyers and went over to the table where brochures and flyers are laid out for the people to browse, and personally found a spot for them.

I couldn't resist going past the table afterwards to see for myself that my flyers were there.

Here's a quick snap.

I ASKED the founder of Beth's drum school if the school's parents might benefit from knowing about my workshops.

His response: "Sure, go ahead! We've got 200 families. If you want to advertise something, just go for it."

I got Beth to pin up the flyer for me on USM's notice board, right in between their band workshop registration form and a flyer of Lauren Elizabeth's upcoming gig in St Kilda.


I ASKED Beth's piano teacher if she would like some flyers for the parents of her students, so they would have something different to read while waiting. She said sure, and yesterday I handed her 20 flyers.

And all because I said yes to myself and worked out how, backed myself to the hilt, and let my desire be greater than my fear - and asked.

What would/would not have happened if I hadn't asked?

Happy Dance

Two reasons to shout "TGIF!" today...

• Tarneit Community Learning Centre emailed to say they have put up my flyer on their notice board. Also, they are happy for me to pop by any time during office hours to tour the place and get a feel of the room where I will be conducting the workshops.
• Received an email enquiry through my website. The writer is based in Brisbane and going through a career change. Have sent her Client Profile and list of available time slots for the initial call.