The Magic of Not Knowing

I love serendipity.

I love the magic that happens when you let go and just trust in the right people and opportunities to flow to you.

On Wed, I was due to meet with the rep of a local newspaper to discuss a possible spot in a feature they are doing. Had no idea what it was about or even how he found me but said yes anyway.

So I rock up to Werribee Baptist before 2 pm and no one's there. I chat with the admin lady, who like me works p/t for the church, and start forming a lovely rapport with a lovely individual. Our conversation ends with her inviting me over for a cuppa the next time I'm at work.

I wait another 15 mins, and conclude that said person must be stuck in traffic or lost his way in the rain or maybe in an accident (oh dear!). When I get home, I call and leave a voice message for the person asking if he's okay.

I also decide that I'm going to let go of the outcome of this and not try to chase up on the matter.

Today, I get a call from said rep to find out what happened on Wed. Turns out he went to the Anglican Church on Synnot St and wondered why it was closed! We had a good laugh and right there on the line I felt a warm fuzzy feeling and the beginnings of rapport forming.

We've now made an appointment to meet up next Wed. Same time, same place, and this time he promises to look up the address and have my mobile number with him.

I finally got to ask him The Question: how'd you get my number?

"Oh, from the Council database."

"The Business Directory?"

"Yep, that's the one."

There's a good reason why the Business Development Officer at the Council kept encouraging me to get on the database, and I've emailed to let her know she was right!

The Most Common Regret

'Those who work with the elderly report that at the end of life, the most common regret is not over what we did, but what we failed to do: the chance not taken, the business not started, the invention not patented, the dream not followed, the talent not nourished, the novel not written, the product not tested, the trip not taken, the apology not offered - so much music that died, bottled up inside us, because we were too timid to let it out!'

From an email by Sharon Pearson, founder of The Coaching Institute

The Grapevine Story

Reproduced from the latest newsletter sent out to subscribers of my website:

Vines have been on my mind a lot lately.

Just outside my kitchen window is a sprawling grapevine planted by the people that used to live in our house.

The grapevine has spread all across the underside of the pergola, forming a lovely cool canopy in summer. Tendrils twirl around the washing line. When random vines intertwine, they form a bond so strong it can only be severed by a pair of secateurs.

The funny thing about the vines is: the more I prune them, the faster they seem to grow. They practically beg to be trimmed, leaning down into my face so that I walk right into them and have to notice their presence.

Nature has a lesson for us here.

As we go through life, there are times of reaping and harvest, when everything goes smoothly and it feels like life can't get more wonderful than this.

Then there are times of setbacks and challenges, the valley times, when every step is pain and struggle and loneliness.

When bad things happen, some people react as if they have been punished.

"Why is this happening?"

"Why me?"

"What have I done to deserve this?"

How Pruning Leads To New Growth

I prefer to think of hard times as a time of Pruning.

According to How To Grow Grapes: Choosing Varieties, Vines, Pruning, Trellis

by Linette Gerlach, there are two very good reasons for regularly pruning your grapevine.

One: Pruning allows maximum airflow and sunshine to reach the fruit. If you do not prune, you will have less fruit, and the fruit you do get will be smaller in size.

Two: If you do not prune, your grapevine will become unruly and harvest time will be tough.

I believe the same applies to how we live our lives. You and I are the vine, and our families, relationships, careers - all the things to which we daily apply our energy and creativity - are the fruits.

If we do not regularly perform a self-check to weed out the things that impede our personal growth - bad habits, false beliefs, an unhealthy lifestyle, poor relationships - we will find at the end of the journey that the fruits we produce are less powerful, less lasting, less sweet, and fewer than they might have been.

Every day is a good day to pause and check what needs to be pruned from our lives, so that we can grow Stronger, Bigger, Better.

Why not make a start today?

See you next month.

---

THOUGHT OF THE MONTH

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without,
the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.

Horace Bushnell

Seeds of faith are always within us;
sometimes it takes a crisis to nourish and encourage their growth.

Susan Taylor

Wedding Anniversary (12 July 1997)

13 years ago today, I said "I do" to CA.

Has it been that long? Sure doesn't feel that way.

To God who gave us the faith, courage and strength to take that huge step and who has sustained in us an attitude of love, mutual encouragement and gratitude, all thanks and praise.

I couldn't have done it without You.

Music Teaching - The Second Year

I have started teaching keyboard again, without actively planning for it.

I had an inquiry from a friend at church, who asked if I would coach her two boys.

I said yes, and we started on Sat after I'd assessed where they are currently in their level of musical understanding.

One is a complete beginner. The other plays the guitar, so he already knows quite a bit about chords.

I am teaching chord piano using a combination of resources by Scott "The Piano Guy" Huston and Duanne Shinn, "The Headless Piano Teacher".

It's so much more fun than learning classical piano, I tell you.

On Sunday, I had an inquiry from another family about beginner lessons for their teenage son. They're shopping for a keyboard, so once they've got that sorted, we can start lessons.

I'm so excited at being able to share my music knowledge with young people, and to be able to introduce them to the joy of playing the keyboard without the stress and hassle I endured during my time.

Overwhelmed By Gratitude

I went to the ATM this morning to get some money for the gardener for tomorrow.

As I studied the tiny balance displayed on the screen, the feeling that came to me was one of...GRATITUDE.

Strange, isn't it? Here I am feeling blessedly provided for and taken care of even though my bank balance is missing a few zeroes at the end.

Yet why should I not feel thankful?

I have a home that is perfect for us and for our guests.

My husband has just had his contract renewed.

There are redraw funds available for school fees.

The children are healthy.

My creative right brain continues to suggest random ideas and to hear where Brass or Fantasia might fit in during band practice.

My passion for words, careers, wellbeing and growth is alive and well (sometimes a trickle, sometimes a torrent).

And I still (foolishly, perhaps) believe that each of us can make a difference in the world.

Yes, God is good - even in the midst of bushfires, floods, unsolved murders and the seeming senselessness of life.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I know Valentine's Day is such an overcommercialized occasion.

But let's look at how we can make it what it was meant to be: a time to remember those we love.

What do you do for those you love? What do you wish for them?

I'm guessing you would spend some time, effort and maybe money making them feel special.

And you would wish only good things for them.

Health. Peace. Abundance. Joy. Freedom.

So if your loved one could use some health-giving information, you could point her in the right direction, say to a book about nutritional medicine or a website dedicated to organic health products.

If your loved one has lost his job because of the recession or is struggling to find meaning in his work, you could show him how to create an income that doesn't depend on the economy or the benevolence of his employer.

As the oft-quoted wisdom says, the simplest and best things in life are free.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thoughts on Ageing

Lately, I have been thinking about ageing.

It started with the shocking discovery of 5 or 6 white hairs on the top of my head. I haven't had my hair coloured since I was pregnant with my younger daughter, who just turned 2. I've no plans to dye my hair for the sake of covering up the evidence of ageing. I may change my mind though.

Today, I was thinking about something that I find profoundly difficult: my mother. What will I do as she gets older? Will I have to move back to Sg? If I don't move in with her, what kind of example will I be setting for my children? And if I do move in with her, how will I cope with all the emotional baggage from our dysfunctional relationship that I've suppressed for the past 20 years?

I read stories of people who have done well and wonder: what will it be like when my husband and I are in our 50's? Will we have the means and the options, or will our options be constrained by our means? Will we do a sea change - retirement village - aged care home, and all the way the gradual but certain descent into physical immobility?

Two things remind me of how transient and irrelevant all these anxieties are. At the same time, the words of One who was both human and divine come back to me. Life is meant to be abundant and joyful, regardless of one's personal circumstances and bank balance.

"I am come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly."

The first is The Shack, one of the most uplifting and transforming books I've read.

In the novel, Jesus tells me what I need to know but have forgotten.

• Life is about relationships, not rules.
• God is about love (a verb), not religious institutions.
• God doesn't want to make people into Christians; He wants to invite them into a relationship with Him.
• We have inherited a broken world because Adam sinned. If he had resisted the temptation to be independent, we would still be living in Eden and not arguing about climate change. Evil comes from wanting to be independent of God.
• God does not cause tragedy; tragedy is the consequence of a sinful and imperfect world that has chosen to live apart from God. But God can use tragedy to bring about a greater good.

The second reality check came from reading about the work of FoodWaterShelter, an Australian non-profit organization dedicated to buiilding villages for orphans in East Africa. The FWS team is made up completely of volunteers. One of the founding members talked of how she felt frustrated by the inability of many of her countrymen to appreciate how far they had come and how blessed they are.

This extract from the FWS website neatly sums up why they operate the way they do:

By using our creativity and forethought from the outset, we plan to impart knowledge and skills in a way that ensures we are needed less as each project develops. This not only allows us to concentrate our services where they are most required, when they are most required, but also ensures we leave the locals a legacy – and that’s what we’re all about.

In the end, life is about living well and dying well. Raging against the dying of the light is not part of the Grand Design. Life was not meant to be held on to tightly, but is just a doorway to something better and more beautiful and more lasting than our limited minds can imagine. In the meantime, there is much abundant living for me to do, and that includes thinking more about how I can make a difference in the world and less of how I can get those things I think I need to live well (like financial freedom: what does that mean anyway?).

Work-Life Balance for an Actress turned SAHM

What's it like to be a SAHM after spending most of your professional life as an actress?

Aussie actress Rachael Beck, who's 37 and has a daughter the same age as J, is very honest about her struggle.

"I definitely wanted to be home with her for the first two years. It (motherhood) has gone from wonderment to exhaustion to 'I can't cope' to 'I'm on top of the world' - the absolute gamut. I don't think any mother really copes, and anyone who says they cope is telling a fib. 

It is such a life-changing thing in so many ways. It stretches and pulls you and tests you and makes you grow. 

It has deepened me as a woman and as a wife."

Of taking a professional break, she confesses, "I can't lie to you and say there haven't been times of frustration, of having to say 'no' to fabulous things that have been offered to me."

On the SAHM vs career woman debate, she is remarkably realistic.

"There are some women who are absolutely fine sitting at home with their children until they go to school, or giving up work. I'd had a lot of creative time and it's something that is so inherent in me and a part of my happiness that I am a better mother when I can balance that."

Lessons for the rest of us?

• Be true to yourself. Know what makes you fulfilled and what drives you batty. Find a way to channel your passions and strengths in ways that add to you as a person.
• Don't waste time feeling guilty because you aren't, or can't be, a SAHM. Do what you can, live with the consequences, and move on. Life isn't perfect.
• Acknowledge your uniqueness. Just because everyone else thinks being a SAHM or career woman is the right thing doesn't make it right for you. You are unique. Acknowledge your right to see things differently and to find your own balance.
• Whatever you choose, choose it for the right reasons and after careful consideration of all that is important to you and your loved ones. Then stick with your choice, knowing it is the best you can do in the circumstances. Don't beat yourself up over what-ifs or let regret dominate your life. And remember there is no medal for martyrdom. If you decide to give up your career, do it because you believe it's the best thing for your family, not because you want people to know how noble or self-sacrificing you are.

Aging Gracefully with Julie Andrews

To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.

One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favourite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'.

Here are the lyrics she used:

(Sing It!) - If you sing it, it's especially hysterical!!!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.

What's The Purpose Of Your Work?

Your work is what you do, be it paid or unpaid. Volunteer work is work too, because you are giving of your time, talents and skills to create value and add value to others.

What is the purpose of your work?

Is it just to earn a living and to get by?

What is the purpose of your business or project or whatever it is you spend your time doing?

I was speaking with a friend recently and she said something that I feel we need to ask ourselves from time to time.

My friend and two other persons founded the Opportunity Shop in our church. The opp shop fulfills a great community need in our mortgage-belt suburb. It provides a low-cost place to purchase clothing, household appliances, personal accessories and all those random things we need to have a reasonably comfortable life. These items are donated by people who no longer need them, and are then cleaned, made presentable and resold at a very low cost to the community.

My friend tells me that the opp shop's income has steadily risen in the last few years, and a lot of it is due to people feeling the pinch and trying to find ways to save money. She tells me that recently, the opp shop received some feedback suggesting that they should up their prices so they can make a bigger profit.

But my friend feels that this is the wrong way to go. The purpose of the opp shop is not to make lots of money. Its primary purpose is to meet a community need. If it prices its items beyond the reach of ordinary folk who need them, it would make more money but fail in its mission of serving the poor and needy. So my friend - bless her - is standing her ground on this issue.

We too can gain a lot of clarity and energy in our lives if we go back to basics and ask ourselves some questions:

What is our life purpose?
What is our career purpose?
Why did we choose this job or this organization or this industry?
Are our spiritual, emotional, physical and intellectual needs being met by what we spend most of our time and energy doing?
Are we living in harmony with our purpose?

Love Yourself, Keep Yourself Safe

Missing Melbourne backpacker Britt Lapthorne has been found - and the outcome is every parent's worst nightmare.

No one can feel anything but sympathy and pain for her parents and brother. They are left with the heartbreaking reality of the loss of a beautiful 21 y.o. girl who was enjoying herself on holiday when she vanished from a nightclub in Croatia.

A journalist penned her personal thoughts in MXNews this week.

Commenting on the Britt Lapthorne case, she confessed that she had travelled to Croatia previously and had visited the very same nightclub. She admitted that when she was there, she had gotten carried away by the atmosphere and the fact that she was on holiday. She partied too much, drank too much; she was alone in a strange place. In other words, she put herself in a vulnerable position. She was fortunate to come home unscathed.

I thought it was brave and honest of her to say what she did. Perhaps her commentary can act as a wake-up call to other young travellers, particularly solo backpackers, not to take unnecessary risks in a strange country. By all means have your adventures, but remember that there are people who love you and who are waiting for you to come home safe and well.

The 2 Best Feelings In The World Are...

1. Lying in bed with my girls on either side of me
2. My little girl's arms wrapped around my neck as she snuggles up close

What 2 sensations inspire you to feel joy and contentment?

The Secret to Contentment (Part 2)

我无论在什么景况都可以知足，这是我已经学会了。我知道怎么处卑贱，也知道怎样处丰富；或饱足，或饥饿；或有余，或缺乏，随是随在，我都得了秘诀。我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能做。

腓立比书 4:11-13

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13

The Secret To Contentment

要使生活变得幸福，一定量的忍受力是必要的。

你忍受不了乡下的单调生活，那城市里的生活能够永远给你新鲜感吗？你对麦当劳，足球，电影也有厌倦的一天，那时候，你又镇么办呢？

伟人的生平，除了某些光彩夺目的时刻以外，也都是平凡的。

幸福的生活在很大程度上是一种平静安逸的生活，因为只有在平静的环境里，真正的快乐才能得以纯在。

《来杯幸福茶》

If you see little squares, it could be that you have not downloaded the global IME that lets you read Chinese text.

Download your Global IME here.

If you are using Windows XP, you can configure your computer to read Chinese using the Control Panel.

Do You Own Your Fear, Or Does It Own You?

I picked up a quote today that really made me think.

It was from a Time mag article on successful professionals and the career choices they make.

Janet Reid is a Chemistry Ph.D. who joined P&G and finally left to start her own management consultancy.

She says her decision to leave P&G is like that of a hermit crab deserting its shell to seek a better one. 

"I was fueled by fear and driven by faith," she says. "I'm scared of drowning, and that's why I scuba dive. You've got to face up to the fear and own it to get to the next level."

I thought that was an incredibly powerful insight.

You can own your fear, and let it take you to greater things.

Or you can let fear own you, and stay stifled, frustrated and paralysed in your comfort zone.

Whether you're deciding to migrate or to change careers, it's always tempting not to make a decision that might rock the boat. 

The safety of the familiar is any time better than the chilling waters of uncharted territory. Especially when you're not sure of your destination.

But what if fear is just the gateway to life's next great adventure?

What would it cost you NOT to rock the boat, make a splash and swim in a different sea?

Pretend it's 30 years down the road and you're looking back on your life.

Will the older and wiser you say, "I'm glad I did that and risked that and experienced that", or will it be "I wish I'd had the guts to try; it's too late now"?

The Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination

I love JK Rowling.

Not just for Harry Potter, but for her incredible life story.

It's an inspiring tale of resilience, of self-belief, of passion, of purpose, of courage.

She shares some of the magic in her commencement address to the 2008 Harvard graduates, which you can read here:
http://harvardmagazine.com/go/jkrowling.html

May you be inspired to fully live the life God has given you.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.
JK Rowling

Do you know your purpose?

That is the challenge life coach David Wood threw me today.

Not verbally.

Just an email inviting me to join him and Tim Kelly on a free coaching call on Thu 2 pm EST. That works out to Friday 5 am in Melbourne - still not too bad, considering I've had to wake up even earlier for some other calls.

What was interesting was the content of the offer.

On this call with Tim Kelley and David Wood, you'll learn about how finding your purpose can help you answer life's deepest questions: Why am I here? What am I meant to do? Create the life you desire!

Which naturally leads me to ask you: do YOU know your purpose?

I hope you do.

David and Tim are right in that if you're vague about your purpose, it's going to have a negative flow-on effect on the rest of your life.

When you are aligned with a clear purpose and everything you do, say and think resonates with that purpose, it attracts people.

There is something beautiful about someone whose purpose is clear and defined, whose gaze is direct, whose mind is uncluttered.

What that driving purpose is is another issue.

Again I ask, what is YOUR purpose?

I find that as the years go by, my purpose becomes narrower, sharper, more defined.

I know by Whom I am made and for Whose purpose.

That makes it easier for me to define my purpose.

It is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

I do that by expressing myself the way He made me, the way that is most natural for me.

By writing and communicating in a way that

• glorifies Him and brings honour to His name, and that


• edifies my fellow man and builds him up.

Today, I read Philippians 2. This is what the apostle Paul says:

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Do you know your purpose?

The Creative Process (Stream of Consciousness Style)

I have been working - nay, wrestling - over my website.

If all goes to plan, this will be the first of many.

But the first one is the hardest.

Oh, I know I can pay someone to do it.

But that would be too easy, and I wouldn't learn half as much.

Or have as much fun.

I want to do it the right way.

Not just getting the technical bits right, which is completely out of my depth.

I'm thinking more about the writing aspect.

I want to write from the heart.

Share what is true.

Talk truthfully and objectively about what has worked for me and what hasn't.

Create something that will be of real use and benefit to others.

Not just something that pulls traffic and brings in dollars.

Although that would be a nice bonus!

It's got to be perfect (that reminds me of a song...) in every way.

Honouring to God.

Edifying to people.

Satisfying for me in a creative, artistic sense.

That is why it's so hard.

And also because I suffer from some form of attention deficit disorder.

I start brainstorming Theme A, then get sidetracked into "How about Theme B? That would be a good one too, lots of content and ideas..."

It has happened over and over for the past year.

Theme A gets abandoned in favour of Theme B, which in turn gets overwhelmed by Theme C, then after a huge U-turn, I come back to Theme A - or some variant of it.

I am trying to enjoy the uncertainty of the creative process, while keeping one eye on the practical.

My husband reminds me to Focus.

He knows me well.

I could sit and dream up a dozen different ideas to save the world and change lives, but it's not going to matter if none of those ideas makes it to implementation.

I have to just launch Something, put Something out there, and see what happens.

Going forward and reverse engineering at the same time.

It's so exciting when the seed of an idea starts to form.

You could go anywhere with it.

Do anything with it.

Let it take you on adventures.

Whatever you do, just don't tell it to go away.

It might not come back!

Mary Poppins & The Abundance Mentality

I've watched the musical Mary Poppins countless times with the kids.

Each time I do, I either learn something new or get an old lesson reinforced.

There's this bit in the story where , Bert, Mary and the kids travel back from the racecourse where Mary had just won a trophy and taught Supercalifraglisticexpialidocious to her audience.

It was raining back at the park and Bert's chalk drawings on the pavement were all ruined.

"Oh Bert," sighed Mary, "all your fine drawings."

Bert saw it differently.

"There's plenty more where they came from," he replied.

"Besides, looks like good chestnut weather to me."

Just think of that.

Bert is able to put a positive spin on what looks like a setback - he's no longer thinking of what he's lost (the chalk drawings) but what he can create afresh.

And he's looking at other opportunities the bad weather can provide, that silver lining every cloud has if we look hard enough.

If he can't sell chalk drawings, he can sell something else - hot chestnuts.

What a clever, resourceful, creative chimney sweep.

I can think of more applications.

Did you notice Bert hasn't confined himself to chimney sweeping? He's a chalk artist, a busker and a streetside vendor of hot chestnuts on cold, wet days.

Multiple streams of income. Yep.

But I'm thinking of something else too.

Bert hasn't allowed his current reality (being a lowly chimney sweep, which surely was fairly low on the social ladder for his time) to limit him from doing good, living well and expressing himself the best way he can.

In the story, he's also a friend to children and a counselor to adults (even those adults who wouldn't normally socialize with chimney sweeps).

Action Challenge
What's keeping you back from living a full life?
What can you start doing today to live a fuller, more vibrant life?