My biggest challenge for 2014...

...is not authoring and publishing my first book.

Or coming up with a unifying and inspiring vision for the children's ministry at church.

Or even whether B will agree to move to KIC if she can get a place there for high school.

To paraphrase my guest expert Mark Brouwer, it's about looking inside to make sure that I'm in a good emotional and spiritual place, dealing with my shady side, seeking support where I need it, and believing that even when I do not appear successful, God can still use me.

It's remembering that His purposes and ways are higher than mine. My striving and goal setting and aspirations for the future all well and good, but they must not supplant what God wants me to do.

It's about staying open and being willing to change direction if He so asks.

It's holding on to things, desires and even relationships lightly, because at any time He might require them of me.

How long should a house guest stay?

Excepting very good (that is, 自动）friends who are independent and mobile, thus allowing a degree of space and privacy, the ideal length is two weeks.

Long enough to have some good conversations and genuinely savour the reconnection. Short enough that we can maintain the norms of best behaviour without feeling strained.

At three weeks, tension creeps in, tempers start to fray, and we become more authentic and decidedly less polite. A line is crossed. When will they go??!!

At four weeks, the gloves are out, shouting matches begin, unfortunate words are traded and all attempts at common courtesy are dropped.

Thus, brevity is the soul of friendship (or kinship, as the case may be).