A New Song

It's been 24 years since I last wrote a song.

I was very active in songwriting between Sec 2 and Sec 4 at RGS. Took part in the National Songwriting Competition for Schools and RGS Night, had my own singing group (The Amateurs!) and even won a couple of awards. Writing songs was fun, and a great way to channel some of that adolescent angst.

Then...it stopped in JC. No songs came. The inspiration just dried up. I told myself that God giveth, and God had taken away ('blessed be the Lord' was a bit harder to admit though).

Over the years, I've kept up with the piano at a recreational level, playing for church and for pleasure. I enjoy some Kevin Kern-esque moments and what some friends call tinkling (the ivories).

Then yesterday, it happened.

Just like that, the flow started.

I was reflecting on Philippians 4: 4-9 (because it was the study verse for our group bible study) and wondering if there was a way to put some of the words to music.

And this is what He gave me.

Praise be to God the creator and author of all things good!

DO NOT BE ANXIOUS

Lyrics: Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

Music: Serena Low (as given by The Songwriter on 11 Oct 2010)

Verse

Do not be anxious about anything
Do not be anxious but in everything
By prayer and petition
With thanksgiving
Present your requests to God

Chorus

And the peace of God
And the peace of God
That surpasses all understanding
Will keep your hearts
Will keep your minds
In Jesus, in Jesus

Verse

Do not be anxious about anything
Do not be anxious but in everything
By prayer and petition
With thanksgiving
Present your requests to God

Chorus

And the peace of God
And the peace of God
That surpasses all understanding
Will keep your hearts
Will keep your minds
In Jesus, in Jesus

Repeat chorus

Amen

Amen

Amen

Amen

About the song

The song starts on a minor key (to reflect the listener's current discouraged state), builds up energy at the bridge (when the writer suggests how we can handle our anxieties), then rings out triumphantly in a major key at the chorus, loops back to the verse and chorus, repeats the chorus and ends in a four-fold Amen inspired by the ending of Benediction (The Lord Whom We Love) as sung by Budak Pantai (my fave SG acapella group) on their Budakumentary album.

Here's the short version, which was the fruit of the first day's work...



And here's the full version, which was created today!

Doing nothing with my law degree?

Took Beth along to visit with an artist friend today.

She was impressed by the studio at the back, by our friend's numerous paintings which made her home a veritable art gallery, and by her treasure trove of Little Red Riding Hood stories.

I was touched by the stories behind how the paintings came to be.

Towards the end of our visit, our friend asked what were my career plans. Had I, for instance, considered what was required for me to become a solicitor or legal assistant?

This was rather confronting for me, as I had just had to articulate and defend myself on the same subject last evening at the church's newcomers' tea. One of our pastor's break-the-ice activities was for each person to talk about our past and current careers.

It is not that I have nothing to say on the subject. It is just that doing it exposes me once more to my fears, insecurities, self-doubt and lack of confidence. I feel the enormous weight of my law degree and eleven years of work experience and how it must (might) look to outsiders who for various reasons may conclude that I should/should not return to fulltime work.

It is not that I stand on one side or the other of the SAHM fence. I struggle all the time with self-identity and financial concerns. Who am I when I'm not being a mother and wife? Is this all I can do with my talent, time and skills?

If only there was money to be made every time I write an article or blog post or tell someone about the organic products I use, my life would be perfect.

"All the things I could do/If I had a little money/It's a rich man's world"

The reality is that whether I choose coaching or writing or the law, it's all about high-touch marketing, putting yourself out there, being visible and making an impact.

None of which I'm good at.

Money Money Money

Just arranged ETF for school fees and council rates.

Tomorrow is deduction for ASG and home and contents insurance.

Gas deduction is next Wed.

Payday is next Thu.

Had to redraw from home loan AGAIN.

Can't wait for 2011 when J will stop going to daycare and we can put the savings ($230 a month) back into the mortgage.

Traffic stats 2 years on...

Just checked in to my page to view this month's traffic.

I actually haven't done anything with the site for a long time, so it's great to see that traffic continues to grow notwithstanding.

I'm beginning to see the power of the internet and how a one-time-effort can lead to organic growth. Amazing.

Complex Mother-Daughter Relations

My mum and I have always have a fraught relationship.

I grew up determined NOT to be like my mum. There was nothing she could say to me that was helpful, because (I felt) she had proven herself to be unreliable, tactless and overcritical.

Tonight, a strange thing happened.

We were having one of our occasional long-distance chats (I can't bring myself to call once a week; it's just too much) and I asked Beth to come on the phone and say thank you to Grandma for the stickers and other presents she had recently sent the girls through my cousin who went home for a visit.

Beth shook her head fiercely.

"I am only going to say four words," she announced.

And she did.

"Thank you for the stickers," she said - WITHOUT so much as a "Hello Grandma".

Okay, so that was five words.

My mum was upset. I was mortified.

My mum started to lecture me about Beth's manners and how she felt hurt that she had gone to all the trouble to put together the gifts for the girls, and here was Beth not even greeting her properly.

Then she started to suggest that I was failing in my maternal duty of disciplining my child.

At which point I cracked.

I cried. I sobbed. I blubbered. I said we'd been struggling with Beth since she turned 8 and she just wouldn't listen and she was so stubborn and though I scolded, nagged and lost my temper, it didn't change things etc etc.

Which is when the conversation took a curious turn.

[It's not the first time my firstborn's faults have been laid at my door. I reckon about 90% of the time, Beth doesn't want to talk to Grandma, and if she's forced to get on the phone, she says as little as she can. When Grandma does encounter Beth in a good mood (i.e. chatty, willing to have a conversation), I count it a lucky day.]

The mum I thought had nothing relevant or helpful to say suddenly became my ally and counselor.

First, Mum apologised for misjudging me.

Then she offered all sorts of advice - don't lose my temper, don't hit in anger, use the soft approach, get help from Beth's school teacher, don't give up, get spiritual guidance, keep praying, read the Bible with Beth. She assured me she would be praying for us.

She was practically gushing with the milk of motherly kindness, even sharing a touching account of Uncle Jerry's eulogy at his dad's funeral (his dad, and Aunty Eve's dad, passed away on Fri morning). Apparently Uncle J - our family ophthalmologist - used to be a bit of a challenge when he was a boy, skipping school and getting up to mischief and being something of a black sheep compared to his obedient, well-behaved siblings. He said his mum had no patience for his nonsense; it was his dad who was the patient one. He even said that if he had a son like himself, he would denounce him, which made his listeners laugh.

Perhaps that was Mum's way of telling me not to give up on Beth. In which case it was pretty powerful. I have to take a long view of things and remember that this is just one step in our journey with Beth. If I give up now, who will be there for her to guide her back on the right path?

Spoke with hubby after chat with Mum. He thinks part of Beth's problem is that she hasn't found herself yet. She's completely self-absorbed and needs something bigger than herself to engage her. I randomly mentioned asking Paul about local missions, perhaps an activity our family can commit to (monthly?) that puts us in contact with disadvantaged families and allows Beth to see other children her age who are genuinely doing it tough.

Something like how Pastor Edmund Chua in SG takes his family of four to India and other less developed countries every year during school hols to do mission work.

I googled EC and finally found his family website: http://www.e4chua.com.

A most worthy role model for all of us.

FB Fan Stats

Am learning to detach from FB fan numbers and to allow for variations.

The first time the number dropped by one, I panicked. What had gone wrong? Why had someone dropped me off their Like list? On and on I went, doing vicious loops in my head.

I am now practising the art of detachment.

When I first click on the 'Adverts and Pages' tab, I take a quick breath and picture a number in my head.

Funnily, about 90+% of the time, that number is exactly right.

Today's count is 107, and I'm wondering: where have all the new people come from?

It strikes me as supremely ironic that during the period that I've deliberately absented myself from FB, the numbers have actually crept up by themselves with no frantic effort from me.

The Early 40th Present

Was the beneficiary of an act of kindness and generosity today.

I'd been the middleman in a long and protracted case of miscommunication and admin oversight involving a ONE Group customer and the company. While trying to resolve the problem for the customer, she ended up receiving an extra bottle of Ambrosia Essence, a premium product of the company worth over $100.

She asked if I could return the bottle to the company for her; if not, she would take care of it. I said I would handle the return, because I felt I was (rightly or wrongly) responsible for the mix-up.

I emailed ONE Group today to explain the situation and ask if there were any forms to fill before I sent off the bottle.

I received a very nice note from the Returns Officer saying that I could have the Ambrosia Essence with the company's compliments, as their way of thanking me for my honesty.

You really do reap the good you sow...even when you're not expecting it.

Had been planning to buy the Ambrosia Essence for myself as I've read so many positive testimonials about it. Now I've received it for free - it's like getting an advance birthday present. Thanks, God! :)

Car Boot Sale #3 (Sept 2010)

Had an amazing, inspiring, educational day today.

Went without expectations and even with a little dread. Did I want to sit around for 4 hours - again - trying to look busy and cheerful even when there are few passersby?

As it turned out, I had interesting, deep conversations with the lovely ladies running stalls on either side - Fiona and Karin.

It was unexpected cos I'm an introvert. I don't get my energy from talking with people, especially people I don't know; socialising can be mentally and physically draining. I need to be in a certain mood and head space to want to reach out and make that connection.

Today, I tried to focus on the other person and just flow along with the conversation.

It's what Michael Oliver calls Natural Selling, except I had made a decision not to think about selling or what was in it for me. So I managed to avoid one of those potentially costly faux pas: constantly glancing sideways to see if anyone was stopping by my stall. The result was that I was able to give the other person my fullest concentration and respect and acknowledge what they said instead of making presumptious comments.

The outcome? A meaningful connection, a sharing of life stories, and the seeds of future friendship were sowed. One lady ordered two items off me, my Sale Of The Day. The other gave me plenty of useful advice about selling, based on her retail experience. She told me I am friendly and have a nice smile, and that a business is often built from word-of-mouth referrals.

I was blessed also to have my 3 yo come along for company. She is a social magnet, with the kind of personality that has strangers saying how cute/gorgeous/adorable she is. She certainly kept herself busy. I had brought along a preschool activity book that she worked through for a while. We had muffins and shared a sausage. Then her friends the Sawyer boys came by, and she was off to play, get carried around and learn Snap.

I am particularly grateful for the unsought blessings: the gentleman who wandered by with his 6 mo baby girl quietly sitting in her pram, who shared about his digestive problems and intolerance to wheat. I was able to give him info about Fast-Tract and In-Liven. Turns out he teaches at Beth's school. The world has just grown smaller - again.

Our home group member Jenny, a fantastic cook and very organized, efficient lady, brought a friend by to see my stuff. She did all the sales talk for me, emphasizing how little she has to use because one pump is all she needs, and how she loves the pump bottle that the foundation come in because it clearly shows how much product is left in the bottle; as the bottle gets used up the marker rises. That's something I had never thought about and can now use for my next marketing exercise. Must thank her for the kindness and favour.

All in, my third Car Boot Sale has been a SUCCESS in every way.

Ahead and Relaxing

It's been a long time since I was able to get a newsletter out in advance. For some reason, I normally write it a week before the 1st of the month.

Have just sent in my Oct newsletter to the queue for publication on 30 Sep. One month in advance. Yay!

Traffic stats review for Career-Change-Confidence.com

Number of visitors in August - 971 -whoa, highest ever since the site started! :)

Average: 32 visitors a day

I'd love to claim that as a SUCCESS.

PS. Checked stats today and the number's up to 1006!
Where did they all come from?
That's AMAZING!
*victory dance*

He's not like us (Thank God)

He accepts you at your worst
He is hoping for the best
Jesus loves you
Jesus loves you

He will never ever leave you
He will never forsake you
Jesus loves you
Jesus loves you

He is proud of who you are
He has faith in who you'll become
He's not like us
He loves you just because

Brokenhearted
Do you want your healing?
Oh trust again
There is love in His right hand

What I wish I had the Charisma and Courage to do

To shout and praise God uninhibited, unconscious of what people might think or say -

"What does that woman think she's doing? Is she trying to draw attention to herself?"

"Is that Serena dancing and jumping around on stage?"

Even King David was mocked by his first wife Michal when he danced down the streets praising God in just a loincloth.

Not a good look, we would say here.

But if the Spirit suddenly overcame you and you felt you could burst if you held it in anymore, wouldn't you do as MWS does in this video?

Watch him brim over with barely contained glee, like he's just discovered the greatest secret in the world, and take everyone along for the ride!

Dare you and I do it?



Gotta let the world know
Take it to the streets
I'm gonna dance and sing
And let out a shout of praise!
Hallelujah
The river is rising!

A Song for the Struggling - Help Is On The Way by Michael W Smith

Love this song.

Have posted it on FB and sent the clip to Kathleen, our missionary in S Africa. Feel strongly that her children (the ones at the orphanage she works at) need to hear it and claim it for themselves.

A hairdresser I can go back to

Tried a new hairdresser today: Woodville Cutting Edge @ Woodville Shopping Centre (Warringa Crescent, HX).

What led me to give it a try was a positive review of the place on the WOMOW website, where customers give a business a good or bad review based on their personal experience. When I called to find out the rates, I was quoted $27.50 for a wet cut (i.e. they dampen your hair, cut it and blow dry it - no shampooing).

My hairdresser was Brooke, who gave me this new look. I wanted something that would give me the option of keeping my hair long; she recommended long at the sides and shorter at the back, with a side fringe. She suggested I get my hair straightened as well - at a total cost of $40 - to get the maximum benefit from The Look.

Took me a few hours to get used to my new image, but I like it now. :-)

BEFORE

AFTER

PS. Golly, I sure look my age: wrinkles, crow's feet and all! Guess I am well and truly middle-aged. LOL

Times of Refreshing

Am letting myself be spiritually refreshed listening to Michael W. Smith(MWS)'s A New Hallelujah DVD while typing this.

I love this one which he does with Israel Houghton -

He sees your tears
He fights your fears
Hold on
Help is on the way
Help is on the way
He said he'll never leave you or forsake you
Stay strong
Help is on the way
He said he'll help you
Just reach out and take his hand

As a musician and an introvert, I really admire musos who play brilliantly and through their body language send out the message that they LOVE what they're doing. Like Michael our drummer at HXUCA - and MWS and his band.

Wish I could be less inhibited and more unafraid to express my joy and praise. Why am I so afraid to be myself??

TV for believers

A dear friend from my primary school days told me about a YouTube video in which Eric Moo talks about his Christian faith - wow!



In it, he sports a new look which I thought was platinum blonde (eew!).

Until I heard him talk about growing out his white hair over a period of 3 months and how God is the best hair stylist.

The more I listened to him open up about his personal challenges and make fun of himself, the more I thought: he seems a likeable sort of guy. I must admit I've never particularly liked him even though I enjoyed some of his xinyao songs. Maybe his rather kiam-pa face and early arrogance and all that goss involving Jazreel Low have prejudiced me somewhat.

Or maybe he's a different Eric from when he started out.

In the process, I discovered a new TV channel for Christians: GoodTV. Am going to check it out often.

Xinyao From The 80s - Another Song, Another Sad Love Story

I Get To vs. I Have To

Love this article I read in Runner's World.

Instead of saying "I have to", say "I get to".

Instead of -

I have to clean the house, I have to fetch the kids from school, I have to go to work,

say -

I get to make my house clean and tidy for my loved ones and guests.

I get to fetch my kids from school and listen to them chat about their day.

I get to be paid for a job I enjoy doing and to help with my family's finances.

Because somewhere out there is a mum who would love to do what you do, even the most trivial and mundane stuff, but can't because she is fighting cancer and has just months to live.

When you say "I have to", you feel grumpy, stressed and resentful at all the burdens you have to manage.

When you say "I get to", you feel grateful, appreciative and have a positive perspective.

The Simple Savings Challenge

Beth and I looked through the Simple Savings website last night.

It was fascinating to watch her scroll through the tip sheets and actually take in the info.

I think I know what I want for my 40th: a subscription to the Vault! It costs $47 and gives you access to ALL the tips suggested by readers over the years.

I'm getting excited thinking of all the $ that I can save if I just start implementing some of the tips. Maybe I won't have to go back to work at all!

I've been resisting buying things that I just happen to see at the supermarket, and to make do with what I have in the freezer/pantry/fridge. Yesterday, I spent just $28 on meat and nuts at Tasman Meats, our supply for the week. Hubby loves the cashew nuts, yay. For dinner last night I made chicken soup using one of the chicken carcasses (3 for $1), plus carrots, potatoes, garlic and a tin of organic cannelloni beans.

Unfortunately, hubby has not caught on. He still buys potato chips and cookies and Dip-Its just because he happens to be near ALDI when Beth goes to jujitsu on Mondays. Oh well, better one of us spending than two!

For afternoon tea, I made a batch of banana-blueberry muffins from the overripe bananas in the fruit bowl, and added ALDI blueberries. They tasted good, although Beth wanted to know why the muffins were all sunken in the middle!

Today I made scrolls using frozen puff pastry, tinned fruit, almond meal and crushed peanuts. All from stuff I already had in the pantry and freezer. Note to self: make sure fruit is completely drained so it won't make scrolls all soggy!

Earlier in the month we trialled Aussie Farmers Direct. Love the convenience and being able to support the farmers, but the prices!!

Am staying away from those money-suckers Safeway and Coles as far as possible, and making ALDI our pitstop of choice. Hubby once found Excel study guides at $2 cheaper than our usual bookstore.

With ALDI you have to be vigilant because the specials change all the time and once they're sold out, you miss out. Anyone who wants to save $ has simply got to make ALDI their first choice for groceries and staples. Every time I leave the checkout and examine my docket I feel SO happy, like I've spent my $ well and lived responsibly. Very important when you're a one-income family with kids!

Getting Off FB

I am taking an indefinite FB break.

It's madness, like being on a treadmill that you can't get off. I can spend hours reading other people's postings but never being able to catch up with all the energetic Facebookers who use it to market their products and services and every now and then announce that they are now at 1,555 likers or whatever.

Wish I could do the same, and believe me I did try for a few months, but it's exhausting and the results are not guaranteed. I haven't made a single FB sale, although my fan count is now a healthy 102.

The only people who buy from me are still people I know personally.

Maybe that's the way for me: just keep talking to people and being myself and suggesting organic solutions where appropriate.

Where I Would Rather Live

Visiting Bundoora last Sunday made me think about why we chose to settle in Hoppers Crossing and where we might have lived if not for the fact that my cousin lives here. Hubby and I agreed that we would never have settled in HX.

We took the kids to Bundoora Park after church. They had a great time trying out all the different playgrounds (there are three at least), visiting Cooper's Settlement where they cuddled guinea pigs, watched other kids ride ponies, tramped around the barn with ducks and chooks, and had tea at the Farm Cafe.

Afterwards, we drove around the La Trobe Uni campus. How much has changed! A few minutes in the direction of the M80 Metropolitan Ring Road is the new University Hill development: a mix of housing, retail and office units. You could live, work and shop there, wow!

The open space across from BM Guesthouse - our home for a whole month when we first arrived - has been beautifully landscaped, and Springthorpe Boulevard, which was then seeing a construction boom, is now completed. Every house looks different from its neighbour, the estate has been thoughtfully laid out and has such a welcoming, aspirational feel, yet there is also a sense of glorious isolation. We are talking about being off Plenty Road and 18 mins or so from Melbourne, but you could be in the country if you didn't know better. Bundoora Square is across the road, and there's a new shopping strip with an Indian grocery store, but within the boundaries of the campus, there are heritage bungalows still used by the Uni. The pond that we used to walk past and watch ducks swimming is still there, and Gresswell Wildlife Sanctuary looks as remote and forbidding as ever, a contradiction in the midst of contemporary upper-class residential living.

From Bundoora, we drove 5 km along Grimshaw St into Greensborough, where we used to enjoy visiting the Plaza and trying out the eateries along the main road. We revisited our favourite Vietnamese restaurant - Linh Linh - with its tacky artificial flowers, painted white bar counter and the bathroom down a flight of stairs.

If I could choose to start over again in Aus, I would live in...Geelong.

It's the second largest city after Melbourne, with great schools, facilities, infrastructure.

It's 40 min to Melbourne, minutes to the beaches, the Great Ocean Road is down the highway, there's a ferry from Queenscliff to Sorrento, the gorgeous waterfront and Botanic Gardens, V-Line to Melbourne, Geelong Grammar School. If you want a tree change, somewhere like Highton would be fantastic, with its hilly terrain and amazing elevated views and closeness to the Barwon River. Everything that you need to live comfortably can be found in Geelong, minus the crowding. The best thing about the Geelong lifestyle is driving away from the City when everyone else is trying to get on the Westgate Bridge on a workday.

If hubby and I could find jobs in Geelong, I would gladly consider uprooting again. I checked the real estate prices yesterday and they are still affordable, considering the proximity to water views.

Imagine being able to walk to the beach and enjoy all the green spaces and fresh air and ocean views, but without the Brighton price tag. Now that would be a seachange worth considering.

How NOT to run a market stall

Had my second crack at running a market stall today.

While I had mentally psyched myself to detach from the outcome and to just make this an exercise in gaining exposure and developing conversation skills, it still felt GALLING to sit there for hours with people just swishing by with barely a glance at my table.

Some bypassed it altogether.

Perhaps the worst was having people actually STOPPING to look at my products - while I was across the room having a chat with another stallholder, and unable to get away for fear of being rude!

Cost of hiring stall: $20
Time spent packing, setting up and unpacking: 1 hour (assume $40)
Time spent at market: 4 hours ($40 x 4 = $160)
Revenue: $xx
Nett revenue after subtracting cost of my time: $ -xxx :(
Gain from embracing fear, trying something outside my comfort zone and chatting with strangers and friends: PRICELESS

FB Experiments

A week after enlisting help from other FB users, the fan count is up to 86.

Amazing.

Am having fun checking out other biz pages and posting favourable comments about their products and services.

Perhaps I am more suited to building up other people's businesses rather than flogging my own.

Chatted with hubby today cos he was home sick. He asked me the usual pointed questions about business plans, working for others vs. working for self, how much $$ return I was getting on my marketing efforts etc. Felt depressed and low for a while and talked to God about it on the way to pick up Beth.

Have no answers for now but am praying that He shows me what He would like me to do.

Work for someone ...again? Maybe it's time to dust off the CV and start looking around. A part of me looks forward to interacting with like-minded professionals in a nice office somewhere in the Big Smoke.

And having spending money to call my own.

How To Succeed In Biz As An Introvert

I've written on this subject before, but today, I learned another valuable lesson.

Every introvert who wants to succeed in marketing herself and her biz needs an extrovert on her side.

Mine's Steph Davy of Learning Ladder. We've known each other for about 6 months now, mostly with me buying books off her for my kids and as birthday gifts. Recently, she became a Miessence customer and I was so thrilled, especially as she loved the products enough to say so on FB.

Disillusioned by my meagre 'like' numbers on FB, I put out a general call for help yesterday and today added 11 new likers, most sent by Steph. I think her friends alone accounted for 8 of those likes.

Such is the power of leverage.

Will have to do more work to find out how to apply this latest revelation.

Am I Wasting My Time Being A Writer?

If something I desire does not flow to me naturally, does that mean I am not meant to have it?

And if so, does that mean pursuing it would be a waste of time and energy and I should instead be focusing on what I naturally do well?

This thread came out of a long Skype conversation I had with my uncle yesterday.

He observed that while my passion lay in writing, I do not seem to be profiting financially from it, because marketing is not my strength. I may need to team up with someone who is a natural at marketing.

Point taken.

Guess it all depends on how I want to measure my success.

If being a successful writer means being a well-fed one, then I am definitely in the category of the starving artiste who needs a regular day job to pay the bills. Ouch.

But if being a successful writer means doing what I love, being happy and fulfilled because of it, and enjoying the occasional affirmation from a grateful reader, then regardless of how many zeroes there are in my bank balance, I guess I am a successful writer.

Things I Need To Think About, Even Though I Would Rather Not

Had an interesting chat over Skype with an uncle today.

Lots to think about:

• Pros and cons of converting PPOR to IP
• Setting up family trust
• Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages (what are mine? what are my mum's? what are my children's?)
• What is my natural preference in relation to wealth dynamics - am I an ideas person? A connector/deal maker? A trader? A systems person?
• As an introvert, what am I marketing: myself? the products? What is important to me: building relationships and gaining trust, or selling to anyone who will buy?
  

Forcing The Introvert To Converse

I have just made a commitment to run a market stall on the first Sat of each month between Aug and Dec.

The aims:

• to promote my ONE Group business and products
• to have an excuse to talk with people about their needs and wants and see if my product and/or biz opp is the solution to their problem
• to get to know the other stall holders esp. those who are not HXUCA attendees, and look for opportunities to win them for Christ.

By Christmas, I will have a very good idea if markets are a boon or bane to my biz, and whether I should persist with this biz at all or just relegate it to hobby status.

The Problem with Tithing

⁸ "Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me.
"But you ask, 'How do we rob you?'
"In tithes and offerings.
⁹ You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me.
¹⁰ Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.
¹¹ I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty.
¹² "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty.

Malachi 3:8-12

This is a subject that makes me squirm - and rightly so.

The Bible makes it clear that God will provide all our needs. We are not to worry about tomorrow, what we shall eat or what we shall wear. We are instead to seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto us. In other words, if we honor God and stay busy about His business, He will surely provide for our physical and material needs as well.

I have no excuse for why I often pass on the invitation to give an offering. Either I am not present (at Sunday School next door), or I fail to get my money out in time to put in the offering bag.

Last Sunday's message from Pastor Paul was very direct on this subject. We are to give as cheerful givers from what little or much we have. Ref: the widow's mite.

So starting from this month, CA and I have set up a direct debit with the church so that $x goes straight to the church every fortnight on payday. And as our ability grows, we hope our giving will likewise do.

Help Thou mine unbelief Lord. Help me to truly, wholly and completely trust You for all things, the seen and unseen, the material and spiritual, things I need and things I desire. Keep covetousness and discontent from me, and let me give thanks for all things each day. Amen.

Self-evaluation at the halfway mark

I am feeling restless again.

I feel like I am not living up to my fullest potential.

I need to write, coach and mentor full-time, or as fully as possible around my family and church commitments. But it's not happening.

Whichever way I do it, I run into the Scylla and Charybdis of sales and marketing.

Question 1: What do I best love doing? Answer as above.

Question 2: How do I make it profitable enough to be a regular, reasonable stream of income?

Question 3: Why would someone come to me for their writing or coaching needs when there are so many more competent, confident and experienced pros out there?

I'm stuck at 2 and 3. And I never seem to find a way around it.

I know the importance of sales and marketing, the need to be upfront about my business and my abilities.

But I can't translate it into something viable and long-term.

I've got SBI at work on my careers site and SiteSell Services for my supplements site. The numbers are nowhere near what is needed for good solid traffic. And I've yet to make a single online sale.

I need someone to look at my sites and tell me what I'm doing wrong and what I need to do to get back on track.

For my ONE Group organics biz, I love the products but struggle with talking about them. I need to know what are the best channels of marketing. My hubby doesn't support markets; he thinks they are a poor investment for 4 hours and $20. Especially as he then has to ferry B to music class and take J along. Lots of the mums on FB who are WAHPs and WAHMs do markets, particularly for handmade things like clothing and accessories. I haven't seen anyone else do organics yet at our monthly market so I haven't anything to gauge against.

I'm on FB everyday studying what the more active WAHPs do and learning from them. Shoutouts. Referrals. Article writing. Self-promotion. When I'm not feeling up to it, all this social networking feels so shallow. Who am I kidding with my 64 likes? What difference am I making in the world? Who should I be marketing to? People who love organics? People who are interested in their health? Parents?

I guess I have to try everything to see what works best don't I?

With coaching, the same issues come up. I'm not a certified coach (though I know I don't have to be), and I don't know how to bring in paying clients. Why would someone come to me for advice? What do I know that's so amazing that others can't provide?

I need direction and wisdom God. I can't do this alone. Please show me the way you want me to go, the way you want me to live. Help me do what is right and needful and avoid what is trivial, time-wasting and does not serve your purposes. Help me live fully in the joy of what you have already provided and blessed me with. Amen.

Wedding Anniversary (12 July 1997)

13 years ago today, I said "I do" to CA.

Has it been that long? Sure doesn't feel that way.

To God who gave us the faith, courage and strength to take that huge step and who has sustained in us an attitude of love, mutual encouragement and gratitude, all thanks and praise.

I couldn't have done it without You.

Don Moen (Praise & Worship Leader)

Hands up how many have heard of Don Moen.

DM is one of the most inspiring worship leaders of the '90s. For me anyway. I still have his God Will Make A Way and Hallelujah To The Lamb CDs. I like his non-showy demeanour, his old-world dressing, and how he avoids drawing attention to himself but instead deflects all praise and glory to the Creator.

Recently, I discovered DM on Facebook. Whoa! Of course I 'liked' him right away.

Here's what he had to say that really spoke to me:

Take a second to invite the Lord into everything that's going on. Yes, He's there already, but invite Him to be Lord in the midst.

He makes all things new. Moment to moment we have a new start and another chance to make Him Lord of that very instant, whatever is going on, and regardless of how many times we choose to take it into our own hands. Praise Him for it!

I decided to take his advice. Just before going into Beth's room to remind her that it was time for her bath, and knowing that there was a 99% probability of her protesting vigorously and even being rude about it, I prayed and asked God to take charge. The simplest of prayers. No me interposing my idea of what I would like to happen and any number of variables. I simply asked.

And boy, did He answer.

I knocked on Beth's door. She responded in a reasonably polite manner, and I discovered to my pleasant surprise that she was sketching the Sphinx. When I reminded her it was time to bathe, she did not protest. In fact, we were able to have a friendly chat and she dutifully went off to the bathroom.

And after that - get this - she sat down at the keyboard to practise.

With a cheerful attitude!

There is nothing more to be said, except Praise God.

Is Teaching My Spiritual Gift?

On Sunday, the former SS coordinator came up to me and made this intriguing remark.

"I say this by way of encouragement. You remember the time you applied for a music teaching position and it didn't work out? I thought it was because that's not where you were meant to be. This (Sunday School) is where you are meant to be."

I am intrigued because she hasn't seen me in action as a SS teacher. How would she know if I am (or am not) cut out to be one?

Or perhaps she is referring to the obvious enthusiasm and delight on my face since I started being officially identified as SS teacher?

I must have a conversation with her to understand where she is coming from, and also because I want to learn from her how to manage an unruly group of 7-12 yos. She always seems so calm and in control, whereas I'm lucky if I manage to deliver 20% of what I prepared. The rest of my time is spent trying to get the kids' attention, breaking up fights, keeping them focused and engaged.

What am I not doing right?

How can I draw the children in so that they want to hear God's Word and learn it for themselves?

How do I help them to love the Bible and to read it with delight and a genuine desire to get to know God?

My only SS experience before AUS was a short stint teaching the 4 yos at PLCMC just before we migrated. And trust me, there is a HUGE difference between teaching Asians and teaching angmohs.

God has used the church camp and Geelong conference to reawaken in me a love for His Word and a desire to rediscover Bible stories. I want to pass on this desire to my SS kids. I want every one of them to come to a point where they can, with a clear mind and open heart, invite Jesus into their lives as their personal Lord and Saviour.

Most of all, I want to see them transformed and renewed, going out into their schools and extracurricular classes as salt and light, sharing the Good News with their friends, bringing many to Christ, and modelling decency, justice and purity.

Not growing into jaded, cynical teenagers with body piercings and tattoos, whose preferred entertainment is spouting meaningless sayings on FB (with bad language, misspellings and bad grammar treated as de rigeur), texting non-stop, smoking, drinking, partying and no-boundaries behaviour.

I have been reading the Left Behind novels, which have given me an insight into the literal seriousness of our spiritual situation. This is not about us anymore. It's a cosmic battle between the forces of evil and the forces of good. It sounds like something out of a movie but it's not. The trouble is that we take God so lightly and we treat the Bible as just good reading, when it contains prophecies and warnings of what is going to happen in the future (the Rapture, the 7-year Tribulation, the Beast and the Antichrist are cast into the lake of fire and Satan is bound, the Millennium when Christ returns to earth to rule, Satan is released for the final Battle of Armageddon before being cast into the lake of fire to suffer forever with the Beast and the Antichrist, the new heaven and new earth).

Meanwhile, we go about our daily lives, oblivious of the spiritual forces that are around us fighting for our allegiance.

We grumble about going to work and look forward to weekends.

We fret over mortgages and school fees and childcare fees.

We worry that we won't have enough money.

We spend more time having fun and entertaining ourselves with our surround-sound TVs, internet, computer games and communication gadgets, and less time reflecting on deep questions that do not have immediate answers.

We schedule our lives around our children and their involvement in dance, language, music, sports. Outwardly we complain that we are busy and tired, but inside we are actually proud of ourselves because we think we are being good parents.

I say this to myself also, because I am just as guilty.

But God has given me another chance to live differently, and I want to honor Him.

I will begin by getting into the Word of God and letting it soak into me and penetrate every part of my mind, body and spirit, so that I can be fully equipped to do every good work. Including teaching His children the truth, so that they will know the truth and be set free.

As He is willing, so let it be.

Decluttering by Deblogging

Today, I was inspired to clean up my life by...deleting two of my five blogs.

First, I found out from Blogger how to export them in XML format to the external hard drive.

Then I clicked Delete Blog.

Easy as.

Two less blogs to update, and more energy and focus for my other blogs.

I've also thought of consolidating the three blogs into one, but I would feel overexposed. Besides, I am anal about compartmentalizing my life. One blog for kids' issues, one blog for life in AUS, one blog on my personal growth and thoughts about God - that works for me.

Opening My Golden Mouth

When I was growing up, my mum used to call me Golden Mouth. She said I had trouble opening my mouth (to speak up, to respond to requests I didn't like), so it must be made of gold, so precious. LOL

And she was right. Even though I am going on 40, have had 2 children, am happily married, enjoyed a prestigious, financially rewarding job in law for 11 years etc etc, I still have trouble opening my mouth to ask for things, to express an opinion, to engage in a discussion.

I battle constantly with a feeling of unworthiness. Of not being smart enough or knowledgeable enough. Of not knowing the right words to say. Of looking foolish. So I prefer to smile and hover in the background.

Which is all very well if you are contented to spend the rest of your life under everyone's radar, never fully being yourself and never daring to dream big.

But here in AUS, it's everyone for himself. If you don't ask, you don't get.

Today, I finally learned to embrace the risk and ask for something I wanted.

But first, some context.

There is this lovely lady (LL) I met at a market who sells books and educational resources through a network marketing plan. I've bought a fair amount of stuff (all of excellent quality) off her for my children and constantly marvel at her exuberance, marketing flair and confidence. She always knows exactly what to say to people to bring out their best, and she's such a natural at selling. She's constantly on the go, organizing and attending parties and fundraisers and market stalls.

No wonder she made sales leader in less than a year of joining the company...

Unlike me. I work with one of the best in the market for certified organics and I believe in my products. It's telling people about them that's hard.

What do I say in my marketing emails?
Who can I email without being accused of spamming or compromising a friendship?
What do I say on FB beyond shout-outs, industry updates and the latest promotion?
How do I follow up when someone shows a glimmer of interest?
How do I respond when someone talks about their personal or health problems?

So back to LL.

Today, she messaged to say she's got my thesaurus and she's coming by to deliver it.

And I thought: so far our relationship has been pretty one-sided. It's all about me buying her products. I've never even once had a chat with her about her health needs or how my products might be able to help her.

So I decided: I'm going to ASK.

I didn't even know what I was going to say. I rehearsed various possibilities and configurations in my head, and eventually settled on "Would you like to get together for a chat one of these days about your skin care needs - I know you like aromatherapy - or would you prefer me to give you a catalog and you can browse through it in your own time?"

In faith, I went to the car and got out my ONE AND ONLY catalog, which I'd been meaning to give to a friend who'd mentioned her skin breakouts. I also inserted the pricing list that I'd JUST printed off to give to another friend who had asked for it.

Soon enough, LL was at my doorstep. At the first natural pause after I'd handed over the money, I said pretty much what I'd scripted in my head.

And you know what she said?

"Sure! In fact, I was going to ask about your Healthy Hair Pack because my husband has psoriasis on his scalp. And I have a friend who's running a fundraiser at Mossfiel Kindergarten in Sep and is looking for stalls. Do you think you might have enough product to do a display? It's just $10 to book a stall."

Which of course made it easy for me to hand her the catalog and pricing list and remind her that the Healthy Hair Pack will be at the discounted price I'd emailed her previously.

So just by opening my Golden Mouth, I've got the possibility of new business flowing into my life.

How great is that?

Thank you God for the courage to speak, and wisdom to speak at the right time using the right words.

Thank you for showing me that when I ask, I will receive, just as you promised in Matthew 7:7-8.

Thoughts on Ecclesiastes

Was flipping through the Book of E today and picked up some verses I hadn't really noticed before.

Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.
Eccl. 5:1

What does it mean to offer the sacrifice of fools?
What might be an instance of a believer being ignorant that he is doing wrong?

Suppose (just hypothetically) the music team stands in front of the congregation each Sunday, believing that they are leading the congregation to draw closer to God.
But they come with a can't-be-bothered attitude, rock up to practice late, are spiritually unprepared and distracted by their gadgets and social interests, walk out of service midway just because they are bored by the sermon...
And they have no idea they are doing anything wrong.
Nor do they welcome being told that their behavior is inappropriate.

Does this put them at risk of offering the sacrifice of fools?

Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?"
For it is not wise to ask such questions.
Eccl. 7:10

Every generation loves to talk about the good old days and to compare how things are now with how they were "in my time".
And every generation believes things were better in their time.
Modern life is too hectic, too stressful. We are plagued by diseases and disorders that were never heard of in our grandparents' time etc etc.
This looking back has been going on since (or before) King Solomon's time, so he has much wisdom to offer.
Why talk about the good old days when we could be doing something new, something better, something CONSTRUCTIVE, with the present?

Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter,
but the advantage of knowledge is this:
that wisdom preserves the life of its possessor.
Eccl. 7:12

This is the first time I have heard money described as a shelter.
Which in a sense it is. (Think "tax haven". Similar metaphor?)
It clothes, it protects, it keeps out discomfort, it cloaks us with respectability and status.
Money has the potential to keep us in a comfortable place.
But it does not guarantee life or health or spiritual/emotional well-being.
Having said that, the rich man may have a better chance of getting life-saving treatment than the average man when faced with the same terminal illness.
And money can enable one to physically escape to safety, say as a refugee or asylum seeker.
So what does King Solomon mean when he says that wisdom preserves the life of the one who has it?
In what way is wealth unable to preserve and protect my life?
In what way is wisdom and knowledge able to preserve and protect my life?

Question To God: How Do I Teach My Child About You?

Okay God, I get it.

This is the second time Beth has asked me The Question: How do I know God is real?

So I know it's time.

The thing is, I don't know how to go about it.

I want to tell her the truth.

And I want to give her real answers.

I don't want to give her cliches from the usual sources of authority, but to share stuff I've actually experienced and thought about and struggled with - and of course, answers from the Bible.

To do that, I've got to make sure I know You, I am at peace with You and I am walking in step with you. (Tick...mostly.)

I've got to know my Bible. (WIP!)

I've got to pray unceasingly. Cos this is WAY over my head.

But it's effortless for You, because Your desire is for my girls to come to salvation, to come into a relationship with You.

You WANT this.

So help me God, as You helped:

• Solomon - when he asked for wisdom to rule Your people.
• Moses - when he said he had never been eloquent and was slow of speech and tongue.
• Jonah - when he prayed to You from inside the fish.
• Joshua - when he prayed for the sun and the moon to stand still, and You listened.

Help Bethany and Jordanne to come to a saving knowledge of You, to accept You into their hearts as Lord and Saviour, and to live wholly for You, however long or short that life may be. May they be Christ's ambassadors wherever they go in life.

In Your strong name I pray, Amen.

What is truth?

Maybe there is a universal truth embedded in everyone's soul. Maybe we all have the same story hiding inside, like a shared constant in our DNA. Maybe this collective truth is responsible for the similarity in all of our stories.

Truth has power. And if we all gravitate toward similar ideas, maybe we do so because those ideas are true ... written deep within us. And when we hear the truth, even if we don't understand it, we feel that truth resonate within us ... vibrating with our unconscious wisdom. Perhaps the truth is not learned by us, but rather, the truth is re-called ... re-membered ... re-cognized ... as that which is already inside us.

From Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol p. 409

Making Friends Outside The Square

I've been called square all my life.

Be it in my dress sense, my taste in music, my academic leanings, I've tended towards conformity. I am nothing if not conservative. In my need for structure and sense, I am anal. I need things and people to fall into neat and predictable categories, so that I can understand them. If I ever have an offbeat idea, I am likely to revel in it for a few seconds, then push it to the back of my mind, and never go there again.

Today, I spent 3 hours with a 70 yo friend from church. She is a full-time artist whose work spans a huge range of subjects and emotions. Some I can relate to, like her landscapes. I've got one of them on my living room wall, right above our TV. Some of her work I cannot understand at all (or do not want to), like the ones she exhibited at Girls' Night In (in support of breast cancer sufferers) last year.

What is really interesting is how we have formed a friendship despite our 30-year age gap. It's something I would not have thought possible if I had remained in Sg. Other than my extended family members, I cannot remember any seniors taking an interest in or wanting to be actively involved in my family life.

We had a lovely Chicken Mornay for lunch, which she served in a white soup bowl (the kind with handles like you find in restaurants), and a kind of fork that I've never seen before. Eating soup with a fork is a first for me.

She showed me round her home and her art studio, and we went for a walk around the retirement village where she lives. We saw the rose garden, the playground (for the grandkids who come to visit), the clubhouse, pool, BBQ area... Such a peaceful and secure place and so beautifully maintained. I mentioned that we used to live on the other side of the fence when we first moved into the area. I told her I wouldn't mind living in a place like that when I get to the qualifying age (which is really only another 15 years)!

It was the conversations that really touched me. My family background. My personal colours (which I don't know because I've never done the colour thing; I have since learned that I am a Winter). Her observations of Beth from their time painting together at Sunday School. Her thoughts about our family. Her son, a Dux of school who majored in Law and Commerce but is now in charge of social work projects in Africa. The importance of not forcing our children to be what we expect of them, but freeing them to be what God has intended for them to be.

I believe God is gently drawing me into the lives of people I can make a difference to, and I know that in the process I am going to be stretched, shaped and molded beyond my imagination.

Enlarging My Territory

The Lord has been challenging me into new areas of ministry. I am reminded of the prayer of Jabez, even though I have not specifically asked for my territory to be enlarged:

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain." So God granted him what he requested.

I Chronicles 4:10 NKJV

Our regular Sunday School coordinator has stepped down to focus on other ministries that she feels God is calling her into. This opened the way for a new coordinator to step in (my husband!) and an opportunity to brainstorm new ideas and new ways of running SS. I have volunteered to run SS in Term 2, and last Sunday, the coordinator announced this fact to the congregation, and asked for volunteer helpers to assist me. Two persons have stepped forward.

What's particularly exciting is that one of them is gifted in dance and movement. I have been wanting to include an element of music and movement in SS and her offer of help is perfectly timely. She's the wife of our worship leader, and has been a professional dancer for years. As she's in her early 20s and very "with it", the kids will love her style. And I won't have to worry about being made to lead something that I'm lousy at!

The other lady is passionate about healthy living and wants to impart her knowledge to the children. This ties in perfectly with my health business and writing and gives me a new angle from which to teach the children the importance of taking care of their bodies and being good stewards of what God has given (life and health).

The SS coordinator also spoke with me recently about being included on a roster of volunteers to support a member of our church family who has a debilitating disease that affects her mobility. The volunteers will take turns to ring this member, check on her, visit her and take her on trips to the shops if necessary.

It is sobering to be confronted with the ravages of time and to acknowledge that more and more members of our family are aging and will need help to live in a dignified way as the years go by.

At the car boot sale on Sat, I had a long conversation with our resident artist. The result was an invitation to lunch at her place this Wed to have a look at some material she has written. I know she has developed an affection for our family and longs to have a more substantive role to play e.g. de facto granny to my girls. It is something to think about in the longer term. For now, I know God has led me into friendship with this lady for a purpose.

Another lady, the one who wants to help our SS kids learn healthy living, has also recently expressed an interest in my family and a desire to get to know me better. She is recently widowed but you wouldn't know it when you meet her. She is constantly joyful, praising God, reading her Bible, and busying herself with good works: hosting the main course for our church's progressive dinner last year, doing the flower arrangements for church, attending talks and learning something new, coming up with ideas to stimulate us spiritually. We plan to get together after her daughter's wedding in late April.

I just want to give God thanks that there are people out there who are thinking of our family's emotional and physical needs and offering to meet some of those needs.

Like our pastor's wife, who just last Sat offered to babysit our girls so that Calvin and I can have a night out by ourselves. (Although when we discussed it, we couldn't figure out where we would want to go or what we would do without the girls. How sad is that??)

It takes great effort and commitment to put up your hand and say you'll do this and that extra thing for someone just because you noticed that they have a need. I have often noticed that it is usually the individuals who already lead seemingly busy lives, who from the outside appear to have too much to do, who are the first to step forward.

What a humbling lesson for me, who often get sucked into my own busyness and forget to lift up my head and expand my view.

But that's not all.

At Sunday service yesterday, I was delighted and astonished to see a familiar elderly Chinese lady and her granddaughter. Her granddaughter Catherine and Beth used to be in the same swimming class at Wyndham Leisure Centre, and her daughter was then expecting her third child. The 3 generations would go swimming every Wed. While Catherine and Beth had their lesson, Grandma, Daughter and 2nd granddaughter Gabrielle would enjoy paddling in the shallow end.

The granny's name is Yang Bin and she comes from Xinjiang near Mongolia and Russia. She doesn't speak any English. She introduced me to her hubby, who had just set foot in Melbourne for the first time in his life. I did my best at speaking to them in Mandarin, and was pleased that Catherine felt able to share some of what's been happening at home.

Afterwards, I felt very disturbed to learn that they had walked all the way from Werribee (a 30-minute walk) to attend our church service, particularly when we drove past the Plaza and saw the three of them sitting on a grass patch - in the heat of the noonday sun. CA and I debated whether we should turn around and offer them a ride, but the thing is, they were killing time before attending the Chinese 2.30 pm service, and besides, we had a prior appointment with our friends.

What Would Jesus Do?

Holy Week Reflections

Our family and a few others from HXUCA have been attending the nightly prayer meetings this Holy Week.

On Mon night, Beth refused to join us, opting to sit outside and read. Dear Yvonne A took her in to her art class, and Beth happily worked on a canvas with Yvonne's help, painting the Good Friday scene. Jordanne sat with us and contented herself with flipping through her Children's Illustrated Bible, which impressed everyone.

On Tue night, Beth decided to bring along art supplies for herself and Jordanne, so they both joined us, sitting at our feet drawing.

But Pastor Paul had something else in mind.

On the table were several rolls of crepe: fuschia (I know this isn't fuschia, but for some reason, Blogger doesn't have more colour options!), green, cyan, purple, red, yellow.

We were asked to take hold of one roll at a time, hold on to one end, toss the roll to someone else, and pray. The idea was that eventually everyone would be holding on to a bit of each colour.

And that's what happened.

Such a simple, creative, powerful exercise, it intrigued my girls and got their attention.

Joined together in a rainbow of colours that represent our diversity and uniqueness, we are also intertwined and interconnected as God's family, God's representatives and as members of the community in Wyndham.

This is a prayer from last night's service:

We acknowledge Lord the reality of differences in our community.
We recognise that cultures are diverse, creeds are speaking of God in different ways and colours sometimes divide rather than unite.
But you are the God and Father of all people.
We are bound together as children of your creative love.
Use us to demonstrate the power of Jesus Christ.
He loved everyone, even those who rejected him.
Shape us in these days of preparation for his death by the abiding grace of his living and dying.
Amen.

Past The Midpoint - At Last

This is the longest I've sat on an assignment. Ever.

From Nov 2009 till Feb 2010 for Assignment 7 and the first resubmission, and from Feb till Mar for the second resubmission.

Truth is, I was MORTIFIED when my instructor asked me to redo the assignment. I'm used to getting things right, and I've been academically inclined all my life. To have to redo something - twice at that - is a personal insult.

And yet, I had so much trouble fixing this assignment, because I couldn't see where the two sentence transpositions my instructor wanted were, and the three places where I'd made errors in copyediting. Worst of all, I couldn't see why my copyediting marks were deemed "all wrong".

This week, I made myself sit down and go through the tutorial notes. Page by laborious page. I went through the copyediting exercise again. And finally - eureka! I figured it out. At least, I hope I did. Because I really don't want to do this again. I have given the resubmission my best effort and I just hope it comes back duly rewarded - with some positive comments from my instructor. It can't be fun re-marking an assignment twice either. :-p

I can't wait to move on to Assignment 8. My assignments are piling up faster than I can complete them. Not a nice feeling.

This whole exercise has been a humbling experience. The know-it-all discovered that she really knows very little, and the not-very-resilient has learned the value of persistence and trying One More Time.

What does it mean to let God judge?

"You are more righteous than I," he said.

"You have treated me well, but I have treated you badly.

You have just now told me of the good you did to me; the Lord delivered me into your hands, but you did not kill me.

When a man finds his enemy, does he let him get away unharmed?

May the Lord reward you for the way you treated me today.

I know that you will surely be king and that the kingdom of Israel will be established in your hands."

I Samuel 24:17-20, where David spares Saul's life in the cave near the Crags of the Wild Goats

Introduction to Godly Play

In Sat, I attended Refresh 2010 on Sat with 8 others from my church.

Refresh 2010 is a children's ministry workshop for CRE teachers, playgroup coordinators and Sunday School teachers, and an opportunity to pick up great ideas for faith activities in schools, homes and churches.

The organizers this year were our brothers and sisters from Barrabool Hills Baptist Church, Highton. The church is set in the beautiful hills near Queens Park and Barwon River in a new estate with the most stunning views I've seen in my time in VIC.




I chose the following as my electives:

• Introducing Godly Play: because the title intrigued me. What does it mean to play in a godly way?
  
• Engaging All Ages in Worship: because I have often wondered how to heal the disconnect between Sunday School and the regular worship service which seems to be too long and boring for the young ones
  
• Using Music with Children: because I love music and believe it can be used in so many ways to pass on the faith e.g. Scripture memory through Steve Green's Hide 'em In Your Heart songs
  

The one most significant takeaway for me was the Godly Play workshop. Godly Play is a Montessori teaching that has been used in faith environments with great success by Jerome Berryman. He has written a number of books on the subject. Our presenter was Christine Rowntree, a dignified, arty-looking lady who immediately gave me the assurance that she knew her subject intimately. She moved in a slow, graceful, intentional way that suggested she was in charge of her surroundings, not the other way round. Wow.

What drew me and inspired me about Godly Play:

• the quiet, contemplative way it is conducted, so different from the sometimes rowdy atmosphere in Sunday School, when you have to struggle to keep the attention of the kids
• how it draws observers into the story with simple props (a golden gift box with wooden or felt figures representing people and objects in the story) and a powerful narrative,
  
• how it effectively engages all ages from preschoolers up to Grades 5 and 6 and all personality types, and
  
• how non-judgmental it is. There are no right or wrong answers, only "wondering questions" which the child can choose to answer (or not), and in the way that most speaks to his heart.
  

It strikes me as a method of sacred storytelling that engages not only the head, but also the heart - and helps the wisdom and the lesson stay there and take root.

I can't wait to talk it through with my fellow Sunday School teachers and to have a go at it myself. I can already see myself doing it.

Here's a You Tube video to help you understand how Godly Play is presented.

When is the right time to return to work?

I am coming to the conclusion that working in any other capacity save full-time work requires more effort, brain work, perseverance and resources than internet marketing ads promise.

Yesterday, CA and I discussed a recruitment ad in The Age for the position of complaints officer for the Commonwealth Ombudsman. He and I both think the job description suits me to a T.

The trouble, as usual, is that working in the City demands commuting time and distracts me from my family commitments. Maybe I am being too negative and perfectionist, wanting everything to work out perfectly before I will put a toe into the water. But I also know that I am not great at multitasking. I can't switch mindsets quickly and easily. I am not focused when I need to be.

Having this additional role in my life - full-time career woman - can easily cause a deterioration in the quality of my family relationships, which at the moment are my chief satisfaction. I won't be able to take Beth to swimming, go to the gym or hang out at home watching Veggie Tales with Jordanne. I will have to put Beth in after-school care, and I will feel guilty that I can't be as involved in her school life as I now have the luxury to do.

The consolation will be that our finances will be in much better shape, and I will also have an opportunity to re-engage with the corporate world. It's only been 5 years since I stopped "going forward" and "thinking outside the box", but if I wait another 5 years, I'll be 45 and it will be so much harder.

Amazon Picks: Rants and Raves about Work