Took Beth along to visit with an artist friend today.
She was impressed by the studio at the back, by our friend's numerous paintings which made her home a veritable art gallery, and by her treasure trove of Little Red Riding Hood stories.
I was touched by the stories behind how the paintings came to be.
Towards the end of our visit, our friend asked what were my career plans. Had I, for instance, considered what was required for me to become a solicitor or legal assistant?
This was rather confronting for me, as I had just had to articulate and defend myself on the same subject last evening at the church's newcomers' tea. One of our pastor's break-the-ice activities was for each person to talk about our past and current careers.
It is not that I have nothing to say on the subject. It is just that doing it exposes me once more to my fears, insecurities, self-doubt and lack of confidence. I feel the enormous weight of my law degree and eleven years of work experience and how it must (might) look to outsiders who for various reasons may conclude that I should/should not return to fulltime work.
It is not that I stand on one side or the other of the SAHM fence. I struggle all the time with self-identity and financial concerns. Who am I when I'm not being a mother and wife? Is this all I can do with my talent, time and skills?
If only there was money to be made every time I write an article or blog post or tell someone about the organic products I use, my life would be perfect.
"All the things I could do/If I had a little money/It's a rich man's world"
The reality is that whether I choose coaching or writing or the law, it's all about high-touch marketing, putting yourself out there, being visible and making an impact.
None of which I'm good at.
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