When Mum gets mad

Find myself getting angry over little things and big things.

When my kids interrupt me while I'm online/reading/enjoying some quiet time...

When my kids refuse to get out of bed/get dressed/brush their teeth, which makes us late getting to church/class...

When the kids give me a hard time and hubby isn't around to help (cos he's out helping someone else, which makes me feel resentful but also guilty that I'm so xiao3 qi4)...

When hubby comes home and I want to update him on what's happened during the day, but find myself getting annoyed because of the extra effort it takes to explain who's so-and-so or why something has happened...

Being the sole breadwinner, he's never around to take the kids to school or pick them up. He doesn't know their teachers except when he meets them at the parent-teacher interview. He doesn't know about their friendships and social interactions, or who the mum/dad of our child's friend is, except at birthday parties.

That gives me mixed feelings.

I am happy and proud that I have a good, close relationship with my girls. I love knowing their friends and their friends' parents.

But being a SAHM with no steady source of income also makes me frustrated, resentful and underachieving.

Yes, I fell into this path, and allowed it to continue for five years.

In this time, I have tried my hand at affiliate marketing, internet marketing, freelance writing, proofreading and copy editing, career coaching.

They have resulted in the acquisition of new life skills and an insight into how others do it, but not much in extra income. The "I did it, and so can you" promises of many a marketing ad have not brought similar results in my bank balance.

I am still lacking the critical elements: a sound business plan, a good marketing strategy and a team of experts to advise me.

It sounds all too hard, or maybe I'm too soft for the entrepreneurial path.

Perhaps I am made to work at a steady job in an organization and be happy with it, not hanker after what is not mine.

Which is a pretty depressing way of saying I have come Full Circle, and discovered that I was on the 'right' path all along, and should have just stuck with it.