On tonight's Conversations With A Master Coach webinar, the facilitator asked how we celebrate the successes and little milestones on our coaching journey.
I'll just blog about mine here.
I can think of at least two successes I want to give myself a pat on the back for today.
One. I had a Parent-Teacher Interview this afternoon and couldn't really think of what to ask Beth's teacher, except to give her a heads up about the possibility that we might be changing schools next year.
She was understandably taken aback, concerned and sorry at the prospect of losing an academically inclined student, but fully understood that there are some decisions we just have to make.
Confession: I am and have always been a sook. The kind of person who cries over other people's sad stories, when watching sad movies, or because the other person is crying. I can't trust myself to hold it in and maintain a dignified appearance, however hard I try to program myself internally. I'm just wired that way.
But today, as I watched the panorama of emotion unfold on the teacher's face and read in it compassion, kindness and sincerity from one human to another, I felt a surge of power from within.
The imbalance that usually puts me on edge when I'm in the presence of an authoritative figure...Gone.
The physical tremors and feeling of coldness that usually come over me when I feel I have to defend or justify my actions...Gone.
The tears that automatically well up when I'm on the receiving end of someone's pity, which somehow triggers a "Poor me" reaction which makes me feel even more helpless and hopeless...Gone.
In its place was a sense of personal power, purpose and focus. I was actually able to manage my state and communicate as one equal to another. That to me is amazing because I tend to be easily overawed by others, especially authority figures like teachers, officials, religious leaders, and just anyone who seems supremely confident and certain of themselves.
Our little 15-minute chat went overtime because we were both so intensely in sync - for the first time all year - talking not only about Beth, but also about what I am doing in terms of career and studies. The teacher's curiosity gave me the opportunity to share about my coaching training and what coaching means and how it helps others. I was even able to give her a link to where I post the articles I write.
Two. I decided to email the teacher to say thank you.
But I didn't stop there, as I normally do.
I decided to make a reference to what we'd discussed by inserting two little 'P.S.'es: a link to my career website with a request for feedback, and an invitation to chat further about how my coaching knowledge might help the school community.
That latter bit, the call to action and the implied putting myself out there ("This is me, Serena Tan, doing what I love and looking to share it with those who are ready and willing to change"), is another milestone for me.
I have spent most of my life being invisible by choice, for fear of being in the spotlight. But I know I am doing myself and others a disservice if I fail to let my light shine. So even though I feel the fear (of the unknown, of not being good enough etc etc), I am doing it anyway.
Embracing the uncertainty.
Saying yes and working out how as I go along.
Forcing the ripple effect with one conscious, purposeful act.
Just to see where it leads.
Because I want to know where playing at 100% will take me to.
And if it doesn't work out, it's not failure. It's only feedback, nothing personal.
Two simple acts inspired in part by the life-changing training and resources TCI has given me.
This - to me - is Success.
What is your definition of Success?
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