Are We Doing It As Tough As They Tell Us?

Read this enormously interesting piece in the Domain newsletter today (Crying poor? Count your rooms and houses, and think again).

You know how the media and pollies keep telling us the average family is struggling with rising interest rates, defaulting on mortgages, struggling with the consequences of job loss etc etc?

The writer Ross Gittins has taken a counter view to prevailing opinion.

He observes that the person/s to blame for this pity party is ourselves.

Why are we upgrading to McMansions, renovating/altering existing houses and buying holiday homes?

Is anyone making us do it?

"We buy ourselves a fabulous new house, take on a huge mortgage then, when we find the payments a bit of a struggle, think of ways to blame it on the government or the banks.

And the media and the politicians - which sell themselves using self-pity rather than truth - encourage us. We take what's clearly a self-sought rise in our material standard of living and, driven by self-pity, mentally convert it into a rise in the cost of living."

That's what we need.

The inconvenient truth told like it is. Rather than the truth we prefer to hear.

*Update*

Just after I finished this post, I stumbled on to a serendipitously related article in the Brisbane Times: A Fate Worse Than Death. Enjoy.

Making Friends Later In Life

It's true that the friends of our youth are the ones that stick the longest, but this week, I have experienced the joy and wonder of new friendships with unexpected individuals.

I am just so grateful that it is still possible to share deeply of one's life with a near-stranger without the benefit of age or phase-in-life similarities, and I plan to savour this connection for as long as both of us want it.

Outcome of The Audition

Got The Call today while in the midst of enjoying the company of my friends at home.

It began with "Unfortunately..."

I tried to find a thread of disappointment or rejection somewhere within - but couldn't find any.

Honestly, I was just relieved.

I've been having second and third thoughts the further I got along in the recruitment process, and wondering what would happen if I really had to make my way to and from classes in winter when I can't see well enough to drive.

I am glad I tried, and that I got as far as I did. Now I can go all out with my ONE Group business and make 2010 my year of success. Yeah! :-)

The 15-second Commercial

Have been listening to Michael Oliver's MiSales audio CDs in the car.

Today, I did my first 15-second commercial at the gym.

Chatting with a newbie to the Body Vive class, I was asked what I do for a living.

I did almost word-for-word as suggested by MO. That is, put my business front and center by positioning it in terms of how what I do benefits people.

"You know how lots of popular brands of skincare and cosmetics contain harmful chemicals that get absorbed into our skin? I help people by distributing skincare and cosmetics that are certified organic and contain no harmful chemicals. Completely natural."

"Really? What is the brand called?"

That opened the way for me to say "Miessence".

"I think I've heard of the name before," said my conversation partner.

She then shared that she uses Paula's Choice, which I've read about before.

We didn't get to chat much after that as the class started, but I've learned enough that I know how to take up the conversation when we next meet.

This isn't too hard. I think I can do this Natural Selling type of conversation every day. :-)

The Audition

Monday's teacher audition @ Malvern was a highly interesting experience.

My first challenge was getting everyone out of the house on time so that I could make it for the 8.13 train.

I was so stressed by anxiety that I woke at 1 am and didn't get to sleep till it was almost time for the alarm to go off.

So I started the morning looking tired and disheveled.

But I did it.

Beth was the first one in her class (and the whole of her year) to reach school, and I had the luxury of staying with her for 10 min till it was time to go.

I even had 20 min to spare after getting off at Malvern station. I stood at the corner of Station Place trying to work out which direction was Glenferrie Rd. Once I got my bearings, everything went really smoothly.

What really impressed me about Malvern was the number and variety of shops near the train station. Cafes, bakeries, shoe stores, boutiques, greengrocer, Vinnie's, recycled children's clothing, hairdresser, beauty salon...

Even the locals look different from the people I encounter where I live. For one, there didn't seem to be as many elderly. And the older ones were highly mobile and in good health. No one was in a gopher or wheelchair. The younger ones looked trim and healthy as they went by, their purchases tucked under one arm or a cup of takeaway coffee in hand.

Back to the audition.

I met Robyn (senior instructor) on my way in, and she asked me to pick up an availability form and pointed me to a room where I could rehearse before the audition.

The piano was LOUD.

It took me a while to figure out how to mute it to an acceptable volume so I wouldn't interrupt the conversations that were going on all around.

Then it was time to go in.

My interviewing panel was made up of Robyn and Rose, the regional coordinator who was also MC for this year's Annual Concert.

They took pains to be friendly and really put me at ease, but there was no getting away from performance nerves.

My prepared pieces went rather badly, and I rued not having spent more time the day before polishing them. It had been a busy weekend and I had let practice time slip away from me.

The sight singing and sight playing went quite well, except my voice was thin and soft. I was also told my personality is on the quiet side. As I explained to hubby later, that's just the way I am and I can't really help my voice or my personality being the way it is. If Yamaha considers that a minus point, then too bad. He agreed with my perspective. I think he was pleasantly surprised that I'm not stressing about how my weaknesses might be taken against me.

When I first applied for the position, I had my Plan B all worked out. Meaning that if I don't get accepted for a teaching position (Plan A), I will focus my energies on my organics business. So it's not like everything is hanging on this job application. This approach has really helped me relax and be honest with my interviewers. I told them about my night vision problems, because teachers are expected to teach from 4-7.30 pm on a week night, which can be terrible in winter when it gets dark by 5. I would have to find alternative transport since I can't drive at night.

I am now waiting to hear from Yamaha. If they say "You're in!", I will have to start organizing after-school care for my child. If they say "Sorry", I'll say "No worries, mate!" and get on with my organics business and my writing.

Life is so much easier when you are clear about what you want to do.

The Next Step

I have now made it through the Group Interview and completed two class observations.

The next step is to book myself in for the audition, which I've just done.

It's going to be pretty interesting, just to detach myself mentally and see how far I can go with this.

As former Olympian and Masters athlete Helen Searle says, "The way I see it, that great MD in the sky gives you the genes and the gifts and it's up to you which way you use them."

A Big Decision To Make

To teach-in-a-classroom-setting or not, that is the question.

I have now cleared the initial phone screen, the group interview and completed the two class observations for littlies and primary-school-aged children.

Now I have to decide if I want to proceed to audition stage.

If I say yes, there is much more than playing a few prepared pieces and singing my way through the 30-minute audition.

If I make it through, I have to sign an agreement, pay a training fee and attend a series of training seminars to get ready for the start of school term in 2010.

It's the seminars that make me think: this is too hard.

They're full-day, take place somewhere far from where I live, and will require efficient organization of after-school care for my kids. The very first seminar coincides with Beth's School Presentation Night and I am most reluctant to do anything that would jeopardize my attendance at this very important school function.

There's also the tricky issue of teaching on weekdays. I'll have to organize for hubby to work from home so he can pick up the girls from school and daycare. And during the three months from April-July, I'll be totally (night)blind after 5 pm and have to rely on someone (hubby, hopefully) to ferry me to and from classes.

A couple more things.

Am I comfortable being teacher/entertainer/role model to a group of kids and managing their parents?

Or would I be better sticking to private tuition?

How will I sustain teaching back-to-back classes when I can't project my voice properly and tend to go hoarse from singing from the throat?

The odds seem pretty daunting.

At the core of it, I have to ask myself whether group teaching is the best way for me to share and impart my love and knowledge of music to young children.

I have till Wed to decide.

Exploring Career Options

A most unexpected career option has popped up on my radar.

In my subconscious, I almost hoped I wouldn't get through the first stage so I could avoid having to perform at the audition (the final step).

I do so hate the stress of performance anxiety, the pressure of knowing my playing was never the best even when I was taking exams 18 years ago, and the feeling of failure and rejection that haunts me when my fingers stumble.

But the other half of me - my competitive, closet risk-taker half - wants to know if I can go all the way with the recruitment process.

The only way to satisfy this curiosity is to assume the best: imagine success, prepare like I'm going to make it, and just throw in everything I've got.

I knew there was a purpose for my constant fascination with all that visualization and affirmation self-help stuff.

After the initial phone interview, I thought I'd been written off because they were supposed to call me by 16 Oct if I'd made it through to the next stage, and the phone was silent all day.

Then the following Mon, I got a call asking me to please book in for the group interview on 29 Oct.

I was in shock, and I think I didn't sound as enthusiastic as I should have.

I scrambled to reach hubby at his office to discuss options. 29 Oct is a school day and also when J is home with me. I emailed my daughter's music teacher for ideas.

That is, instead of responding consciously, I reacted emotionally.

My sweet hubby offered to take the day off so he could accompany me to the interview location (seeing as I am so navigationally challenged) and entertain J while I go for my first job interview in, what, 8 years?

In the weeks since I first decided to apply for the job, I've shortlisted the pieces for the audition and practised desperately, trying to recapture the level of playing that enabled me to obtain my ATCL.

I tell you, it's hard work.

But it's also exhilarating because with each session, my fingers remember a bit more. It's like driving along a familiar motorway. Sometimes you go into autopilot mode, which is a nice break.

I've no idea how to prepare for the interview.

But I do know one thing: for every door that closes, a window opens.

"All things work together for them that love God, for them that are called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28

The Power Of Vision Boards

I am reading The Answer: Grow Any Business, Achieve Financial Freedom, and Live an Extraordinary Lifeand have started putting together my own vision boards.

A vision board, also called a dream board, is a collage of powerful words and images that evoke and reflect your dreams, goals and vision for your life/business/career/relationships/anything really.

Authors John Assaraf and Murray Smith describe the vision board as "an especially powerful tool for imprinting your aspirations on your nonconscious brain", or more succinctly, "designing your future". (Love that phrase!)

You can see sample vision boards at www.johnassaraf.com, including a very cool one made up for Barack Obama when he was campaigning for the Democratic Party nomination. (Look where it got him!)

I decided to try my hand at crafting a vision board or two.

So now I've got one for my dream home (the one with the polished floorboards, views of the sea, timber slatted backyard fence and decked all-weather alfresco area).

And one for my life/work.

My 7 y.o. says she's going to create a vision board for herself too. :-)

Putting Natural Selling Principles To Work

I have been listening to Michael Oliver's audio book How To Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety Or Losing Your Friends! in the car for the past 3 months.

I love how he teaches people in the network marketing business to listen, ask the right questions, and act from a desire to help. His approach works in any situation where you are having a conversation with someone; you don't have to be in a sales job to benefit from his excellent book.

Just this morning, I put myself out there (me, the confirmed introvert!) and invited 3 friends to a Learning Ladder home party.

Now, even though I have a network marketing business myself, I have been holding back on marketing it just because I am sales-shy and can't bring myself to talk to anyone about what I do. I just fear rejection so much and take it really hard when someone says no.

Michael Oliver says we should approach NM with the idea of helping others solve their problem. First, find out if there is a problem. If there isn't, there's nothing for me to do. Second, find out how much pain/discomfort the other person is because of the problem. If it's not bothering them enough that they are open to changing their situation, there's nothing for me to do.

Only when there is a problem and the other person is willing to take action can we look at how my solution might help.

Again, there is no guarantee. My solution might not be right for them, in which case there is nothing for me to do, and I move on.

When you look at NM like this, it really makes it more doable and less of a personal rejection risk.

My own encounter with Natural Selling began yesterday when I sounded out one of the ladies, whose son is Beth's classmate, and she said she was interested in coming along for the party. I showed her the catalogue and explained how Beth loved so many of the books and games and possibly the kids in the class would like them too. I also talked about how the quality of the products was so much better and the variety wider than what could be found in the shops.

This morning, I mentioned the home party to my reading partner. She said it sounded like a really good idea and could she bring along some nibbles so I didn't have to provide everything as I was already opening up my house!

As we were walking to the admin office, we met the other 2 ladies, one of whom is the friend I spoke with yesterday.

So there were 4 of us chatting in the playground. When the right moment came, I brought up the home party. Now 2 of them knew about it and the third was hearing it for the first time.

And they all said YES.

It was the easiest "pitch" I'd ever made, which almost makes me wish I were the LL presenter instead of just the hostess! :-)

Now to get to work on my organics biz...

I Feel Strong When...

I have been devouring Marcus Buckingham's strengths-based books and raving about them to readers of my careers website.

One of the activities he recommends in Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance is called a Strength Statement Card.

It's a great way to capture, clarify and confirm your strengths.

For instance, one of his strength statements says: "I feel strong when...I present, but only to a large group of people, on a subject I know a lot about, when I'm completely prepared, and when I know my presentation will further a mission."

The statement may mean nothing to anyone who reads it, but it means a lot to the creator, because it tells him exactly what makes him excel at his work.

Just yesterday, I had an extraordinary moment of strength while chatting with a friend's cousin. The cousin is here on holiday from Sg, and I soon discovered we had plenty in common. That made it easy to strike up a conversation.

Legal background.
Gave up full-time work to focus on her child's education and wellbeing.
Accustomed to Sg lifestyle of ready support from extended family and domestic help.
Struggling with the Big Decision:
Should she or should she not give up her comfortable Sg lifestyle to migrate to Aus?
What if things don't work out?
What if she can't get a job in Aus?

I sensed an immediate connection and a strong sense that she was bursting to tell someone all those things. And I happened to be there at the right place and the right time.

Synchronicity.

We chatted a bit and I shared my two cents' worth. What I particularly remember is a moment when I said (and I don't even know why I said it, and it certainly wasn't a sentiment I had ever expressed before) - "Singaporeans will thrive anywhere in the world. We've got a lot of positive traits and a good work ethic" etc etc.

My conversation partner said she was glad to hear me say all that.

Today, I heard from my friend that after talking to me, her cousin (who has held Aus PR for the past 15 years but has continually put off uprooting) is now a little more receptive to the idea of migrating to Aus.

How does that make me feel?

I guess you could say it makes me smile. :-)

Not because the outcome of her cousin's decision making makes a difference to me. It is after all a huge decision that she must arrive at and persuade herself of when she has made it. But simply because it confirmed what I'd already sensed while talking with her: there is a power that shines forth when I speak my truth from my heart.

So if I can distill down that act and the feeling into a strength statement, it would look like this (in very rough form):

I feel strong when...
I talk with someone who is contemplating or seeking change in her way of living, and I offer a thought, a personal truth or my perspective in a way that powerfully moves her to make a decision and to move forward and begin to live according to her new choices.

Good Advice For VCE Students And All Of Us

Another fantastic insight from the school newsletter this week:

"From my experience, life often opens up opportunities and outcomes in line with your expectations.

A prayerful attitude of expectation is unstoppable.

Why don't you test this yourself? In prayer ask for the best situations you desire, expecting the best of everything leading up to the exams: a calm and peaceful home life, the best health and energy levels, the best productive study time, the best feeling of peace and confidence on exam day, the best interactions with friends.

You will be surprised with the outcomes, especially if you give your very best to others in every situation as well."

How To Survive In Times Of Testing

A dear sister recently shared with me the following inspirational text, which really helped her through a prolonged period of testing and grief:

TRUST in His timing
RELY on His promises
WAIT for His answers
BELIEVE in His miracles
REJOICE in His goodness
RELAX in His presence.

Feng Shui and the Christian

This post is inspired by some material I received last night on Diamond Feng Shui, which you can read about here if you are interested.

Feng Shui (风水), which in Chinese means "wind water", is the ancient art of living in harmony with your physical environment. The Chinese believe that how you position the rooms in your house (even the facing of your doorway) and how you align your workspace affects your health, relationships, prosperity and how well you do in your career.

As a Singaporean Chinese, I grew up hearing my aunts insist that when you buy a house, you must make sure there isn't running water in front of your house (your luck will flow away).

I have a Malaysian friend who not too long ago managed to diagnose her friend's family problems - without having been told what they were - the minute she stepped through the door of the friend's house. Apparently, the master bedroom was near the entrance (as contemporary Aussie floorplans tend to be), there was a spiral staircase right in the centre of the foyer as you entered, there was an empty bedroom directly above the kitchen that had its windows permanently shut, etc etc.

I listened with fascination as my friend explained why all these living arrangements were incompatible with family harmony, finances and career progress. Her friend took her advice to heart and eventually sold up and moved out of the house.

Feng shui has become very popular in the West and is increasingly touted as a means of attaining or increasing one's health, wealth and success.

As a student of personal development and a Christian, I constantly ask myself if what I am learning is compatible with my faith. Is it wrong to observe and apply natural laws that ultimately were made by God?

If the position of my bed does in fact disrupt the energy and harmony of my marriage relationship, why wouldn't I reposition it?

If painting my wall a certain colour would encourage the inflow of money, why wouldn't I do it?

Those are all things I already desire: a loving relationship with my husband, more money so that I have the freedom to choose how I work without being tied down by I-need-money-to-pay-bills pressure.

If that's all it takes - moving things around the house - it doesn't seem too much to ask. After all, my understanding and knowledge are limited. Why not take advantage of someone else's wisdom, especially if that wisdom is thousands of years old and has proven beneficial for other people?

The tricky part comes, I think, when we give full credit to the Creation but forget to acknowledge the Creator.

And that is where most personal development practices and philosophies differ from the Christian faith.

Gurus like to talk about the laws of the universe, the Law of Attraction, natural laws etc and to persuade us to believe that the Universe wants us to succeed and is waiting to give us good things.

Well, the Universe as I know it is also a created thing. It did not come from nowhere. Its source is God. It deserves no more adulation and recognition than a beautiful flower or painting. It's like saying the Mona Lisa is one of the finest works of art of all time - and stopping there.

The Mona Lisa is the work of a person. And the Universe is the work of God.

The laws of energy or qi ( 气). The Law of Attraction. The laws of the Universe. All these are but human observations and interpretations of what God put in place at the beginning when he made the heavens and the earth.

During the time of Daniel the prophet, there were wise men and astrologers in King Nebuchadnezzar's palace. But none could equal the ability of Daniel. Not only could he interpret the king's dream, he could tell the king what that dream was. All the other wise men operated on the basis of "tell me your dream, and I will tell you what it means".

Daniel's ability did not come from himself, but from God. He was trying to save himself and the other wise men from an unfair execution. So he specifically asked God for the wisdom to know the king's dream and the meaning of it - and God honoured his request. Daniel made it very clear to the king that his special ability came from God. He gave God all the glory. He did not attribute his success to the stars or to himself.

Because it was so obvious that no one else in all the kingdom could match Daniel's supernatural ability, the king had no hesitation in accepting that Daniel's God was superior to all other gods. So in staying true to God and acknowledging His sovereignty and power, Daniel was materially rewarded.

So back to the question: can a Christian believe and practise the natural laws put in place by God?

I think the answer is yes, but the Christian has to tread very carefully.

As long as the Christian gives God the glory as Creator, He can enjoy and partake of the beauty, abundance and richness of Creation and all its amazing benefits. He can learn about the healing properties of herbs to improve his health and the health of loved ones. He can study those who are successful at what they do and who live inspired, fulfilling lives of service to others. He can study feng shui and how it affects his relationships, career and finances.

But he must never confuse the Creator with the created and fall into the delusion that he is the master of his own destiny and the author of his life script.

In a very limited sense, he is those things. Day to day, he makes choices that lead him in a certain direction and ultimately shape his life course.

But over and above all these, God is directing and shaping his course. God already knows what will happen next. If a person does not acknowledge God's role in his life and understand that he too is but part of Creation and his life is not his own, he is misguided.

This is a hard truth for the pre-Christian to accept. We would rather believe that we are the masters of our own destiny and that we can create the future we want.

Me?

Having seen the outcomes of some of my decisions and choices, I am glad - relieved - that it is not entirely up to me to determine my future. I would only make a hash of it. Either by being too much of something, or too little. My ego would get in the way. My lack of knowledge would trip me up. My fears would hold me back. In the end, I would be going forward and backward but making no real progress.

At the most, I am but a co-creator alongside God, in those situations where He graciously permits me to participate (like motherhood and childbirth).

And at the other end of the spectrum, I am one of His created. Made in His image and likeness, but a flawed representation in need of regular rescue and touch-ups.

Thank God for that.

When You Feel Demotivated

This fantastic extract came to me on a day when I was feeling a bit low in spirits and questioning my credibility as a coach...

From the Coaching Compass newsletter

Remember why you started on the path that you have chosen for yourself. Even if you are not quite to the point you want to be, enjoy your daily progress. Honor and even celebrate where you are right now. If you do not have fun with the steps you take forward, what is the point of continuing?

You will not be 100% complete with a goal if, at one time, you did not finish the first 25% of it. Embrace the plateaus of accomplishment. These can be natural resting spots. Do not confuse your current location on the path with your intended destination. This will only cause unnecessary stress because you are not there yet.

Keep moving in the direction of goals, and enjoy the journey. You will be there before you know it!

What Gets You Fired Up?

Was having a dialogue with someone about what fires her up and she said something really interesting.

She was talking about how she doesn't mind house chores BUT if the house is in a sad state and needing a lot of work to get it up to decent standard, she would be less motivated to clean it than if it were already in acceptable condition and all she had to do was continue maintaining it.

It takes less effort to maintain than to start again.

I guess the same principle applies to how motivated we feel about the projects we take on and the goals we set ourselves.

So the big question is...

If you are currently not in a good place in your career, how do you get to a place where you are ready, willing and able to commit to making that positive decision or critical next step that will take your career closer to your dream?

How Valuable Is Your Breath?

Chatting with a sister in Christ, I was struck by the way she interpreted the Chinese phrase 争一口气 (literally, to seize or gain a breath). The phrase is usually used to denote someone fighting to win because of a strong sense of personal pride. They want to have the last word, to be able to say to others, "See? I did it! I won!"

The desire to win at all costs is at the core of many personal and interpersonal problems. When we refuse to acknowledge our limitations or to be gracious enough to forgive another's failings because it might make us look like losers, we are bowing to the sin of self-reliance and pride.

Where does our existence come from? Not from ourselves. We live by the grace and will of God, who breathed life into Adam and Eve and who by His will sustains us. So while we strive and worry and seek answers to life's problems, we forget that our very beings are in the hands of Another who is far greater in wisdom and power.

Even our very breaths are on loan from our Creator. Should He decide to suspend our breathing ability for just a minute, our lives would instantly be snuffed out.

When we remember from where we come and to Whom we belong, it puts things in their proper perspective and we are encouraged to cease our endless, fruitless striving for material advancement and possessions.

The Surgeon

Reflecting on his recent experience on the operating table, my pastor had this to say in his latest bulletin message:

When you get yourself to the point where you accept that you need something to be done to improve your life, it is all pretty plain sailing as long as you are prepared to trust.

When it comes to the Divine Trinity operating on us, ... we are all too reluctant and untrusting of what God might do...

Imagine what it would have been like if I had sat up and told the surgeon what to do to my leg... My job in this whole process...was to relax and receive.

Why are we so reluctant to allow God this sort of prominence and power in our lives, especially when unlike the hospital system, the Surgeon has already paid the bill through Jesus Christ?

Thought Of The Day: The Value Of Face Value

"Rightly or wrongly people assume you are qualified at what you do."

This came out of a coaching newsletter that I subscribe to.

The writer took the words right out of my mouth.

Since I changed careers 4 years ago, I have found this line particularly true.

When I declared to complete strangers that I was a writer, no one asked me where I got my writing credentials or how dare I presume to be the next JK Rowling or Stephenie Meyer.

When I said I was a career coach, no one asked if I was ICF certified.

They were more interested in how long I'd been coaching/writing and what areas I coached or wrote about.

There are 2 interesting observations I would venture to make.

First, people are primarily obsessed with themselves. They think about themselves morning, noon and night.

How do I look? What do others think of me? Is my hair alright? Is my outfit alright? Did I say something dumb when talking to the moms at school?

People want to know how your self-description is relevant to their current situation.

So if you say you are a writer, they might ask: What do you write about? Oh, you proofread essays and resumes? Do I need your service? Yes, I actually need someone to look at my resume before I send it out. Who else do I know that might need your service? The senior students at my child's school who are preparing for university entrance? My co-worker is thinking of changing jobs. Maybe he could talk to you about his resume.

If you say you are a career coach, they might say: How does coaching work? What sort of clients do you work with? People in career transitions? That's interesting. I have actually been thinking about making a career change. I have this work issue that's bothering me. What do you think of it? How might you be able to help me?

As the writer of the newsletter correctly says, people tend to take us at face value.

This is a huge advantage that we don't often recognize.

If you could say anything you liked and know you could get away with it, what would you say about yourself: who you are, what your values are, what your vision in life is?

Would you dare to go as big as your dreams?

Would you limit yourself to a job description ("I work in a bank" or "I'm just a homemaker" or "I'm a wife and mother")?

How about describing what you do in terms of how it helps someone else?

For instance: "I help people explore their career options and understand how they work best so that they are clear about what types of careers suit them."

"I help women with weight loss and body image issues to feel good about who they are, to accept that they have the power to choose how they see themselves, and to take actions that help them become the image of themselves that they secretly desire but didn't think was possible."

The next time someone asks you what you do, remember: you have their permission to say anything you like about yourself.

And make it something authentic, powerful and intriguing.

You are what you think.

As A Man Thinketh, So Is He

Watch your thoughts: They become your words.

Watch your words: They become your actions.

Watch your actions: They become your habits.

Watch your habits: They become your character.

Watch your character: It becomes your destiny.

Michael Oliver, NaturalSelling.com

The #1 Skill That Dwarfs Everything Else

"Taking real steps of any kind is what it takes, no matter where you are... But it's safer just to read some more, or do something that feels like you're doing something, but that doesn't really move you towards your NEXT important goal..."

Does this sound like you?

If the answer's yes, you need to master the #1 skill that dwarfs everything else.

Me? I'm going to take a leaf out of Ken's book and do 20 toe touches when I jump out of bed tomorrow.

PS. To log in to the forum as my guest, key in career-change-confidence.com as your ID and password. You will see yourself online as "Guest of Career-Change-Confidence.com".

How A Simple Charitable Idea Created Nearly 2000 Blankets For AIDS Orphans

When the soaring unemployment rate and mortgage stress are the topics that dominate our conversations and our thoughts, we all need a bit of cheering up.

Here's a story that will inspire you and help put your challenges in perspective.

Sandy started Knit A Square to attract interest to her aunt's charitable cause in Soweto, South Africa.

The resulting response from visitors to the site is simply amazing.

Read Sandy's story here.

To log in as my guest on the forum, simply key in career-change-confidence.com as your ID and password.

You will then see yourself logged in as "Guest of Career-Change-Confidence.com".

Enjoy.

With All I Am (By Hillsong)

As Good Friday draws near, let us be reminded of how much He loved us, how He gave His only Son to die for us so that we could be restored in fellowship to Him.

Would you give your only child for someone who might not appreciate your sacrifice and might even scorn your gesture?

I know I would not.

Not unless it were made possible by the supernatural grace of God.

"You're the reason that I live, the reason that I sing, with all I am."

Jesus Paid It All - Video

Death Of An Old Friend

An Obituary printed in the London Times -

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults,
not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining
their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but need not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and
by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Do Chemical Engineers Get Chemical-Engineering Block?

I love this talk by Elizabeth Gilbert on the subject of creativity.

EG is the author of Eat, Pray, Love.

I haven't read the book but I loved listening to her speak. She's so confident, articulate, funny and real.

Watch the video here.

The Work

I was introduced to the work of Byron Katie by life coach David Wood, whose coaching resources have helped me.

Byron Katie helps people end their suffering (her phrase, not mine) by asking three piercing questions when someone says they have a problem. It might be how they feel about themselves; money anxiety; pain of rejection; loss of a loved one.

E.g. "There's something wrong with me."

BK. "Is that true?"

BK. "How do you know it's true?"

BK. "Who would you be without that thought?"

Then she gets the person to do a "turnaround" by saying to themselves the reverse of the thought that's plaguing them.

In the above example, it would be "There's something right with me."

Then she asks you to prove it with examples of how you have done things right.

Maybe you have great friends.
Maybe you ARE a great friend.
You have the perfect body for you.
You have a great laugh.
You are a great teacher.

Check out some of the videos of interviews she has done with people.
Self
Money
Pressure
Fear of the future

Music Teaching - The Second Year

I have started teaching keyboard again, without actively planning for it.

I had an inquiry from a friend at church, who asked if I would coach her two boys.

I said yes, and we started on Sat after I'd assessed where they are currently in their level of musical understanding.

One is a complete beginner. The other plays the guitar, so he already knows quite a bit about chords.

I am teaching chord piano using a combination of resources by Scott "The Piano Guy" Huston and Duanne Shinn, "The Headless Piano Teacher".

It's so much more fun than learning classical piano, I tell you.

On Sunday, I had an inquiry from another family about beginner lessons for their teenage son. They're shopping for a keyboard, so once they've got that sorted, we can start lessons.

I'm so excited at being able to share my music knowledge with young people, and to be able to introduce them to the joy of playing the keyboard without the stress and hassle I endured during my time.

What's the Secret of Success?

Success is not the basis of Happiness.

Happiness is the basis of Success.

No Wonder I Didn't Get Far In My Career

New Management

Hold the elevator, folks
A friend is moving on to the upper floors
Though we may see her face no more
You, World, must sit up and mind yourself
There's new management in the house.

Excerpt from Tribute: My First walk in 2009
A poem by Ali Kati

The link to this poem was posted by ShinsCancerBlog. SCB is the inspiring journal of Singapore wife and mother Shin Na, who passed away of breast cancer on 27 Jan 2009.

Working Student Gets To Speak With Obama

Overwhelmed By Gratitude

I went to the ATM this morning to get some money for the gardener for tomorrow.

As I studied the tiny balance displayed on the screen, the feeling that came to me was one of...GRATITUDE.

Strange, isn't it? Here I am feeling blessedly provided for and taken care of even though my bank balance is missing a few zeroes at the end.

Yet why should I not feel thankful?

I have a home that is perfect for us and for our guests.

My husband has just had his contract renewed.

There are redraw funds available for school fees.

The children are healthy.

My creative right brain continues to suggest random ideas and to hear where Brass or Fantasia might fit in during band practice.

My passion for words, careers, wellbeing and growth is alive and well (sometimes a trickle, sometimes a torrent).

And I still (foolishly, perhaps) believe that each of us can make a difference in the world.

Yes, God is good - even in the midst of bushfires, floods, unsolved murders and the seeming senselessness of life.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I know Valentine's Day is such an overcommercialized occasion.

But let's look at how we can make it what it was meant to be: a time to remember those we love.

What do you do for those you love? What do you wish for them?

I'm guessing you would spend some time, effort and maybe money making them feel special.

And you would wish only good things for them.

Health. Peace. Abundance. Joy. Freedom.

So if your loved one could use some health-giving information, you could point her in the right direction, say to a book about nutritional medicine or a website dedicated to organic health products.

If your loved one has lost his job because of the recession or is struggling to find meaning in his work, you could show him how to create an income that doesn't depend on the economy or the benevolence of his employer.

As the oft-quoted wisdom says, the simplest and best things in life are free.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thoughts on Ageing

Lately, I have been thinking about ageing.

It started with the shocking discovery of 5 or 6 white hairs on the top of my head. I haven't had my hair coloured since I was pregnant with my younger daughter, who just turned 2. I've no plans to dye my hair for the sake of covering up the evidence of ageing. I may change my mind though.

Today, I was thinking about something that I find profoundly difficult: my mother. What will I do as she gets older? Will I have to move back to Sg? If I don't move in with her, what kind of example will I be setting for my children? And if I do move in with her, how will I cope with all the emotional baggage from our dysfunctional relationship that I've suppressed for the past 20 years?

I read stories of people who have done well and wonder: what will it be like when my husband and I are in our 50's? Will we have the means and the options, or will our options be constrained by our means? Will we do a sea change - retirement village - aged care home, and all the way the gradual but certain descent into physical immobility?

Two things remind me of how transient and irrelevant all these anxieties are. At the same time, the words of One who was both human and divine come back to me. Life is meant to be abundant and joyful, regardless of one's personal circumstances and bank balance.

"I am come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly."

The first is The Shack, one of the most uplifting and transforming books I've read.

In the novel, Jesus tells me what I need to know but have forgotten.

• Life is about relationships, not rules.
• God is about love (a verb), not religious institutions.
• God doesn't want to make people into Christians; He wants to invite them into a relationship with Him.
• We have inherited a broken world because Adam sinned. If he had resisted the temptation to be independent, we would still be living in Eden and not arguing about climate change. Evil comes from wanting to be independent of God.
• God does not cause tragedy; tragedy is the consequence of a sinful and imperfect world that has chosen to live apart from God. But God can use tragedy to bring about a greater good.

The second reality check came from reading about the work of FoodWaterShelter, an Australian non-profit organization dedicated to buiilding villages for orphans in East Africa. The FWS team is made up completely of volunteers. One of the founding members talked of how she felt frustrated by the inability of many of her countrymen to appreciate how far they had come and how blessed they are.

This extract from the FWS website neatly sums up why they operate the way they do:

By using our creativity and forethought from the outset, we plan to impart knowledge and skills in a way that ensures we are needed less as each project develops. This not only allows us to concentrate our services where they are most required, when they are most required, but also ensures we leave the locals a legacy – and that’s what we’re all about.

In the end, life is about living well and dying well. Raging against the dying of the light is not part of the Grand Design. Life was not meant to be held on to tightly, but is just a doorway to something better and more beautiful and more lasting than our limited minds can imagine. In the meantime, there is much abundant living for me to do, and that includes thinking more about how I can make a difference in the world and less of how I can get those things I think I need to live well (like financial freedom: what does that mean anyway?).

Worms vs Hummingbirds

I read an article today on Sir David Attenborough receiving hate mail for his views on evolution.

When asked why his programs do not give credit to God for creating the natural world, he says he cannot reconcile the notion of a divine and benevolent God with a child in Africa with a worm burrowing through his eyeball.

Sir David also professes to being horrified that creationism and evolution are presented as equal alternative view points in some schools.

Let's compare this with an alternative portrayal of God's relationship with Earth in a book I read recently, The Shack by William Paul Young.

In the novel, the main character Mack and Jesus are enjoying a conversation surrounded by the most picturesque surroundings you can imagine: lake, waterfall, orchard, forest, mountain ranges.

When Mack expresses his appreciation of God's handiwork, Jesus replies that Earth would be even more beautiful if it were not "at war, striving so hard to survive".

Pressed for a clarification, Jesus explains: "Our earth is like a child who has grown up without parents, having no one to guide and direct her. Some have attempted to help her but most have simply tried to use her.

Humans, who have been given the task to lovingly steer the world, instead plunder her with no consideration, other than their immediate needs. And they give little thought for their own children who will inherit their lack of love.

So they use her and abuse her with little consideration and then when she shudders or blows her breath, they are offended and raise their fist at God."

You can say that's just the author expressing the views of eco-warriors and climate change activists.

But that doesn't make his view any less valid or worth thinking about.

Perhaps the thought that God made a perfect world and Man ruined it bothers us because, deep down, we know it's true. Maybe we feel guilty and helpless, and our guilt makes us defensive. If someone were to point out your faults to your face, how would you respond? I know I would get pretty huffed, even if I know what the other person says is the truth.

No one likes being confronted with their own ugliness. It's easier to point the finger at someone else than to say, okay, I'm partly to blame, so what do I do next? How do I make things better?

Review of "The Shack"

I am reading William Paul Young's book The Shack, the story of a grieving father's encounter with God in a run-down cabin in the wilderness.

Initially, I was very reluctant to touch the book. Stories about violence against children turn me off. I read a bit of the first chapter, skipped to the end (bad habit), and was intrigued enough to start again in the middle, from the bit where Mackenzie receives a typewritten note from "Papa" and goes to the shack to find out if God is for real.

The writing style and central idea remind me of Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet In Heaven. But it's the writer's use of characters and ideas that contradict all the stereotypes we were taught about God, religion and religious institutions, that makes the book a unique and worthwhile read. It made me uncomfortable to have so many of my assumptions challenged. That in itself is an intellectual exercise worth undertaking, for otherwise I would be stuck in my own way of thinking.

For these reasons, I encourage anyone who wants a more intimate relationship with God to read The Shack.

Rick Warren and the Presidential Inauguration

One of the most powerful influences on my personal development has just delivered the invocation for the Presidential inauguration.

I love the way he ended his prayer.

"I pray this in the name of the One who changed my life."

This was followed by the names of Jesus in different languages.

Watch the video of Dr Rick Warren's prayer for the nation.

Can This Man Change The World?

I am listening to the live webcast of President Barack Obama's inauguration speech.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/5269418/barack-obama-inauguration

Did you hear that bit about America being the friend of every man, woman and child who works for peace?

What a man.

What a moment.

What an opportunity for America and the world.

May God bless his leadership and all who seek after peace.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." - Matt. 5:9

How Many US Presidents Do You Remember?

A friend posted this video on FB which is really thought provoking.

It's not who you are.

It's how you've made a difference in someone else's life.

Have you?