Expanded version of Psalm 121

This is an experiment.

I have a vision of someday creating a ministry aimed at women who are depressed and discouraged. Music will feature hugely in this ministry because it is one of God's gifts to me and I want to use it to sow hope and encouragement.

In the footsteps of the Preacher in Blue Jeans who advocates that we should discover, develop and deliver our talents, I am now at the delivery stage, trying to find ways to get my music out to those who will hear.

Hence this video.

To the techies: I'm not sure if I should adopt a talk-to-the-camera approach like what the pros do on Youtube, as the focus is meant to be on the message and the music. Your thoughts please. :-)

Be Blessed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d1MNHNS-gc

Losses and Gains

A long time ago, I could pray aloud in a group setting.

I could pray fluently, articulately, with the words pouring out of me by divine inspiration.

Words of power, conviction and passion.

Now when I pray in a group setting, my words are stilted, uncertain and sound trite and repetitive to me.

I may have endeavoured to keep up my personal development, but there has grown a huge yawning gap between what I know and what I communicate when I open my mouth.

I wonder if being a SAHM for 5+ years has not somehow robbed me of the ability to think and articulate clearly. I certainly felt sharper as a working person than I do now.

I feel saddened by my regression, and yet I know all is not lost. He still speaks through me and uses me, but in different ways.

In song for instance.

I am (still) thinking about how I can get my music out to people in church and to friends who believe. I am thinking particularly of women who are desperately seeking encouragement, who are finding life hard, and who want to know that God has not forgotten them.

The Most Common Regret

'Those who work with the elderly report that at the end of life, the most common regret is not over what we did, but what we failed to do: the chance not taken, the business not started, the invention not patented, the dream not followed, the talent not nourished, the novel not written, the product not tested, the trip not taken, the apology not offered - so much music that died, bottled up inside us, because we were too timid to let it out!'

From an email by Sharon Pearson, founder of The Coaching Institute

"The Christian body is not an appendix."

Benny Ho, A Word In Season (CD message, a gift from Shirlynn Loo)

"Our talents from God are our gift to enjoy and a seed to sow."

Sharing by Emily Metusela at Neighbourhood Network on 28 April

Dreams and Visions

Some gentle nudgings over the past two days...

I would love to use my musical gift to start a healing and encouraging ministry for people who are feeling disheartened, disconnected and alone.

The songs God gave me in Oct 2010 and Feb this year could serve as a starting point. They are intentionally Scripture-based. What better way to nourish and uplift a brother or sister's soul and spirit?

Think of how David ministered to a troubled King Saul with the harp, and how as humans we are naturally wired to respond to music's soothing and healing qualities.

The Reason We Rejoice

Today was a very significant day for the Tan household.

It was our first Good Friday service at SDA, our congregation's spiritual home for the next 52 weeks, and also our first Combined Good Friday Service at Wyndham Leisure and Events Centre.

Being in a tiny room with just one guitarist, one drummer and a keyboardist (me) and rows of chairs - no pews - reminded me of my MYF and VCF days. Really, what more do we need to worship God meaningfully?

At the combined service, I was overwhelmed by the number of people present. All these my brothers and sisters from churches all over Wyndham. People I might have met in the Plaza or at school or on the street but never knew were fellow believers.

I loved the seamlessness of the musos (the mark of true professionals) and the way each pastor spoke masterfully during his allotted time, then made way for the next person.

Each led in his own special way, and each exhibited the sincerity, conviction and authenticity that to me is evidence of God's grace at work in his life.

I was particularly bowled over by the pastor who reminded us that in Australia, there are only two days in the year when Coles, Woolworths and Bunnings are closed: the day Jesus died, and the day He rose again.

Amen to that eternal and unchanging truth!

May all who have yet to say yes have that opportunity to do so before Jesus returns.

According to some reading I did some time ago, the Australian Quality Training Framework requires that all life coaches must be certified by 2012.

So I am focussing on life coaching courses that are nationally and internationally accredited.

Found these providers online:
The Life Coaching Academy
The Coaching Institute
Professional Christian Coaching & Counseling Academy
Life Coaching Institute of Australia

The Life Coaching Academy offers a Cert IV in Life Coaching for $5990. You also have the option of a 3-, 6- or 12-month payment plan.

However, LCA has now decided to run its courses exclusively in Gold Coast.

One down.

The Coaching Institute has an impressive website that's easy on the eye, informative and intuitive.

The Cert IV in Life Coaching costs $4995 (Express) or $5491 (deposit $1495, $77 weekly in 12 months).

The PCCCA, which is founded by US-based Dr. Leelo Dianne Bush, offers a Certified Christian Life Coach course for 2900USD, with a 5- or 10-payment plan.

LCIA offers a Cert IV and Diploma in Life Coaching by correspondence. What I like is that you also get to do electives called Specialty Streams: Executive, Business, Workplace, Health and Wellness, Career and Life Cycle Coaching.

The Cert IV is $2950 upfront or $285 x 12 (months).

Additional costs depend on the number of Specialty Streams you do. Cert IV + 3 streams = $4435 or $285 x 19.

Decisions, decisions...

This morning, I had my usual dilemma: should I or should I not go to dance class.

All because hubby had a working bee at church. Which meant I would have to take Miss J to music class with me. And make sure she was quiet and meaningfully occupied throughout the 1.5 hour class.

Which also meant I wouldn't be able to do my own thing...Read. Uninterrupted.

It worked out ok in the end. Miss J behaved perfectly. The teacher seemed a bit testy today though. Barked at students who played out of turn. Barked at students who played the wrong notes.

He gave Beth a (well deserved) lecture on the state of her Minuet in G, which she has steadfastly refused to practise. Her effort made me cringe.

Her excuse? "I was practising Intrada."

To which the teacher responded: "Perhaps the Minuet is too difficult for you? Perhaps I should find you an easier piece...like Grade One?!"

Afterwards, I gave Beth a mini-lecture of my own. She grinned (!!!) and agreed that she had indeed deserved the rebuke from her teacher.

Her bo-chap attitude made me wonder how much pride she really has in doing her best.

But back to dance class.

The group was smaller than usual, and it was the nice instructor, not the strict one. Which was great cos it meant beginners like moi got more attention and encouragement than otherwise.

I actually managed to keep up with the teens, which felt great! And I finally figured out the "leap" and "turn" components of corner work. The only thing I still struggle with is the "spin", where you have to spin across the room really fast with your eyes on a fixed object. That one made me so dizzy I had to crouch down to regain my balance.

We also learned a new move today - the pirouette. Shall have fun practising it at home.

Near the end of our Janet Jackson Black Cat routine, the instructor said to me, "Well done. You nailed it."

High praise indeed.

Answered Prayer

After days of to-ing and fro-ing over the missing OTP, with both Auspost and Speedpost seemingly unable to assist, I finally received the news we had been hoping for from our agent in SG.

"I have just called speedpost, they managed to receive the item today afternoon!!.... So I should receive it either tonite or tomorrow

I will inform the buyer's agent now and will do the necessary."

This came 5 mins after I'd replied to her earlier email to let the buyers know we intended to honour our original agreement. They were apparently worried that we might change our minds, which would portend having to go through the househunting process all over again, when they had already sold their own flat.

Hubby and I had discussed and suggested to our agent that perhaps the buyers could wait for us to arrive in SG to re-sign the OTP if it really remained missing.

We must commend the customer service officer that I spoke with this morning - Michael.

Of the 3 officers I spoke with in the last two days, he has been the most helpful and compassionate. He took down my details and our agent's, promised he would initiate an investigation as our promised delivery time clearly exceeded the 2-4 business days guideline, allocated us a case number that we can use to track the progress of the investigation, and promised to contact Speedpost to find out what had happened.

We are guessing that it is his enquiry and contact with Speedpost that enabled them to suddenly retrieve our documents from their system.

Most importantly, this officer was the one who enlightened us as to how the EMS courier system works. Apparently, our documents left Melbourne and arrived in SG on the same day (a fact not mentioned by the other 2 officers) because flights between Melb and SG are direct.

So the delay has all this while been on the part of the SG side i.e. Speedpost. Without this clarification, we were unable to point the finger of blame at anyone.

While all this drama was going on, I remember thinking that perhaps God had other plans for our flat, and I prayed that we would remain within His will whatever happened.

Thanks be to God for His grace and provision. He really does take care of all our needs.

When the best courier service fails

On 15 March, I went to Auspost to courier the Option to Purchase on our HDB flat to our real estate agent in SG.

Auspost recommended, and I accepted, the fastest and most expensive option: Express Courier International aka EMS.

Cost: about AU$38.

Expected delivery time was 2-4 business days.

By 21 March, the agent was emailing to ask why the documents had still not arrived. The intended purchasers were getting anxious.

So began my attempts to track said documents online and to contact EMS to follow up.

The tracking screen shows the following -

Tracking summary

Tracking ID: EA014808985AU
Status: Despatched

Product/Service: EMS

Origin Country: Australia

Destination Country: Singapore

Email Notification

Tracking details

Date/Time	Activity	Location
16/03/11 02:09	Processed - enroute to final destination
15/03/11 22:16	Received and ready for processing
15/03/11 09:21	Lodged by customer	WERRIBEE PLAZA POST SHOP

No updates beyond 16 March, which is disturbing.

Today, I spoke with customer service of EMS and was informed that sometimes letters get delayed at Customs or the post office of the destination country, e.g. if they are at the bottom of the pile and have not been attended to yet, and so the recipient has not scanned the barcode to acknowledge receipt, which would automatically be updated online.

The officer suggested I give the contact number of their SG counterpart [Speedpost] to my agent to follow up on her end.

Except when she called, Speedpost said they hadn't received the documents, and asked her to find out the flight number and despatch number!!

I have since also discovered online that I had the option of getting the documents insured for extra cover of up to $5k, which would have provided -

• coverage against loss, theft or damage of your international mail
• proof of posting
• secure handling
• a signature on delivery

My only defence is that Auspost did not even mention this option.

Can there be a better time to recall Proverbs 3:5-6...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

Declaring your faith on FB

Unwittingly created a mini-furore on FB when I innocently reposted a friend's comment.

Here's what the original post said:

I personally believe in Jesus Christ. One facebooker has challenged all believers to put this on their wall. The bible says, ''If you deny Me in front of your peers, I will deny you in front of My Father. (This is a simple test. If you love God and you are not afraid to show it, re-post this.)

I liked the forthrightness of it, so I took up the challenge.

Within 5 minutes, one friend had commented:
Otherwise known as emotional blackmail.

And another jumped in:
i agree with Thomas... not putting it in fb does not constitute denial.

it's no different to, say, jihadist saying that if you love allah, go blow yourself up...

As you can see, this is one of those emotional topics that can divide friends and create enemies.

But I have a clear conscience. I reposted with only the intention of declaring my personal faith. Not of deriding anyone else's views or of being a scaremonger.

So I am resting in God's supreme power and grace and ability to turn bad into good.

The word that He sends out will not return to Him void.

How to make yourself more valuable to your employer

How to make yourself more valuable to your employer

Check out this fascinating article by Pete Bissonette on the Learning Strategies blog.

Almost makes me wish I were an employee right now, so I can try out his ideas.

Mum and Me

It's been an interesting 2 weeks with Mum visiting.

I still remember 4 years ago when she came to visit after Miss J was born. How stressful it had been having her share my physical space. How cramped, resentful and insecure I felt. How mortified I was when she barged into and dominated conversations and social situations involving church friends whom she had only just met.

What irked me most was that because of my upbringing and natural timidity, I hadn't the courage to speak up about how I really felt, and to say no to things I wasn't comfortable about.

My mum, you see, lacks a sensibility about boundaries.

As a result, she frequently intrudes on others' privacy without even knowing it. And if confronted, she responds with a hurt and bewildered air. She does this to members of the extended family and as a consequence, she is the marginalized one in the clan.

I have this theory, rightly or wrongly, that in every large family, there is invariably one older relative, usually single, usually female, who irritates everyone else and whom no one particularly warms to. But because they're family, they can't be completely ignored either.

In my family, that's Mum.

But I can't bring myself to explain to her why others feel offended and manipulated by her.

It would mean disclosing that I am privy to these sensitive conversations with the rest of the relations, and she would feel betrayed.

When Mum first announced that she was coming to stay, I kept hoping she would put off the trip or even change her mind about coming.

But here she is for 3 weeks.

And I've survived intact so far.

I would even be so positive as to say that 90% of the time, I am able to get along with her without feeling resentful or irritable like I normally do when we're under the same roof.

Perhaps God has been hard at work on the both of us, bringing us towards the middle ground, enabling us to focus on what we agree on rather than what divides us.

The girls have been a great connector and a lens through which I am able to see Mum in a different light.

Mind you, I am still not proud of how Mum manipulates people into doing things her way.

I wince when she makes remarks that reveal her racial, cultural and socio-economic prejudices about people she is meeting for the first time.

And I roll my eyes when she declaims to friends and acquaintances how she has helped us with household chores and babysitting Miss J when I'm out running errands.

When all's said and done, perhaps it's not about me vs. her but about making peace where possible and standing up for what's right where necessary.

Just when I stopped looking...

Last Oct, the Lord rekindled my songwriting ability.

Together, we wrote 2 songs - Do Not Be Anxious and The Song of Peter and John.

Then I got caught up in the dramatic possibilities of Paul's speech to the Athenians in Acts 17.

For days I kept going back to the words:

I see that you're religious
For as I walked around
I even found an altar
To an unknown God

Now what you worship as unknown
I will proclaim to you

The God who made the world and everything in it
is the Lord of heaven and earth
He does not live in temples
He is not served by human hands
For he gives all men life and breath and everything

But I just kept getting stuck. It wouldn't come.

So that's a draft I'll have to get back to at some point.

But here's the great news...

Yesterday (18 Feb 2011), I wrote my 3rd song!

The first draft was done in about 3 hours and is inspired by Psalm 121 and Lionel Richie's Hello.

I've titled it I Lift Up My Eyes.

I got started on it because I was trying to write something meaningful and encouraging for a recently bereaved dear friend.

The first person to hear it live was hubby. His comment: "Ah, the chords are very intricate, very hard for the congregation to sing. This is more of a solo performance."

Point noted.

He also suggested I add a longer intro, so that's what I've done. The vocals are a bit soft though, something to work on. (I never did get the hang of singing from my diaphragm!)

Verse 1:

I lift up my eyes to the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth

Verse 2:

He will not let your foot slip
He who watches over you will not slumber
He who watches Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep

Chorus:

The Lord watches over you
He's your shade at your right hand
The sun will not harm you by day
Nor the moon by night

The Lord will keep you from harm
He will watch over your life
He will watch over your coming and going
From now and forevermore

Back to verses 1 and 2 => Chorus => Repeat chorus

How to talk to children about things that matter to them

I offer no answers.

This post is just my way of putting out my thoughts on the subject, particularly in the context of Sunday School, which I am involved in.

How do we engage our SS children on topics that affect them personally?

• Death of a loved one.
• A parent's job loss.
• Family breakup.
• Bullying.
• Change of school.
• Their BFF is moving away.
  

Children need a safe environment in which to share the things that are affecting them emotionally.

And they need the Word of God that brings light, truth and wisdom.

SS teachers like me need training on how to respond sensitively, lovingly, wisely and in a way that builds the children's character and life skills.

Today, I met an SS child at school who told me very gravely that her pet rabbit is dying. Afterwards, I saw an FB post by her big sister confirming that the rabbit is going to be put down today.

How do we deal with this at SS?

I guess one way is to get all the kids to pray for the child/children and show sympathy and encouragement.

I read an article on SelfGrowth.com about talking to a child about the death of a pet, and one of the things recommended was commemorating the pet's life in creative and comforting ways.

There's even a YouTube video that sets out the steps a parent can take:

The Call

On 28 Jan, I received a phone call.

The kind you read about in newspaper articles in relation to a tragedy.

The kind of phone call you hope never to receive.

How the caller is feeling now I cannot begin to imagine.

Even praying for the caller and her family doesn't feel like doing much.

It's too unreal.

Like something that happens only to 'others'. (I know how selfish that sounds.)

Loss has come too close this time. It has broken through into my inner circle of relationships, and it feels like life will never be the same again.

To those closest to the maelstrom, I imagine life will assume a different hue from now on: 'before 28 Jan' and 'after 28 Jan'.

It is not a good feeling, and I pray this never happens to you.

"God works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform."

May His love, grace and peace be sufficient in this sad time.

Party pooper

Have just been invited to a friend's surprise birthday party.

If only party just meant bring a plate and a present.

This one, because it's organized by said friend's creative and party-loving partner, is a Fancy Dress Party.

I dislike parties.

Intensely.

Maybe it's because I was never allowed to go to any when I was in school.

And also because I was singularly drab - like Moaning Myrtle in the Harry Potter films.

No sense of fashion.

No talent for beautifying myself.

No access to gorgeous accessories and cosmetics.

No self-confidence.

So I've developed a self-defence mechanism called Avoid Parties At All Cost.

And I've found I can live quite happily without them.

Unfortunately, this particular party invite is inescapable because we're friends with this couple, and I don't want to offend.

She has given strict instructions for ALL guests to turn up in fancy dress. Anyone who doesn't will not be allowed into the house (what a great excuse to escape the party!).

So, I'll have to dig through my very meagre wardrobe and find something that can pass as fancy dress.

I am not terribly optimistic...

What have I stored up in my heart?

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.
Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.
People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers.
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.
For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
Luke 6:43-45

Was reflecting on this passage and several thoughts struck me.

• The quality of fruit is consistent with its source/parent. Good tree = Good fruit. Good fruit = Good tree. My actions will either bless or betray me. And others.
• Good and evil are stored up in the heart. They don't leak or deplete. They keep filling up till the container is full and overflows. For good or bad. Imagine a full petrol tank, a bank account will lots of zeroes (in the right places), a water tank after a rainy spell.
• Our speech reflects what's been quietly building up in our hearts. Sometimes, one remark is all it takes to reveal what's really important to us. Thoughtless words that hurt and demean could be traced back to negative thinking, wrong attitudes, a self-centred lifestyle, stimulation that entertains us but does not improve us. Trashy books, movies and TV shows. Acquaintances who pursue materialism, instant gratification of the senses and the attitude that you have only one life and you may as well enjoy it to the full, who cares about others and what they think. In contrast, words that help and heal and point someone to the straight and narrow path may well be the fruit of years of right thinking, right action, wholesome sources of stimulation, time spent reflecting on what is good and pure, a desire to be holy, a consistent walk with God.
  

Let us be mindful of what we say, because our words reveal the true us beneath our masks of politeness and convention.

I'm finally getting something right...I think!

FB post from my keyboard student today:

week 6 and i can already write a simple chord song! Thankyou Jesus! and Serena Low for your time, patience and incredible support!! =D

This is my third attempt at teaching someone music and I feel like I've finally met a student who "gets" my style and whom I can actually help.

K is our local missionary who works with AIDS orphans in S Africa. She's back for a few months before returning to SA to further her work with the kids she has come to adore. She also happens to be a gifted worship singer and lyricist. Her dream is to be able to accompany herself on the keyboard when she leads worship, and to write songs (not just words).

While she was still in SA, we corresponded by email and she asked if I could give her lessons when she came back.

And that's how we got started.

I was pretty apprehensive about saying yes because I feel as if I ought to have a teaching qualification or be a professional pianist to be good enough to teach someone else.

Plus, I've had a couple of teaching experiences that feel like failures.

A couple of years ago, I was referred to a lady at church who wanted some piano lessons and had a set budget. I went to her place once a week, 45 min each time, for ten sessions.

But I never felt like we communicated very well (my fault I'm sure), and from her responses, I could never tell if she was really enjoying herself or if she was just being polite while privately cursing this waste of her time and money. Even now when we pass the peace at church, I daren't ask how she's going with her practising.

Then another church friend asked me to give her two young sons lessons, and I did.

By then I had learned that the market practice was 30 min for a lesson, so I reduced my lesson time accordingly.

The boys had so much going on in their lives: schoolwork, sport, social activities, and probably didn't have much motivation or time for music practice.

So their progress was probably not as quick or visible as they would have liked.

After a while, their mum tactfully suggested that we take a break until her boys were willing to be serious about their music.

My current student is my third, and so far, most ideal match in terms of motivation, commitment and willingness to learn. She knows why she's here and what she wants to get out of it.

It also helps that I'm letting God lead rather than trying to find all the answers myself. I am more willing to let the serious info take a back seat to gentle nudges and unusual suggestions from above.

And perhaps that has made all the difference.

It's beautiful to see her get excited as she works out chords and scales and begins work this week on her very first Chord Song.

In fact, the phrase Chord Song came to me only hours before our lesson, and I didn't even know what it meant or what I was supposed to do with it.

Then at some point in the lesson, my student asked: "So what's my homework this week?"

And it grew from there. I suggested she play around with the primary chords (I, IV, V) with a root of C, and see what came out of it. I even improvised to show her what she might possibly achieve, and what she could do with her LH to get a fuller sound.

Next week, she'll show me what she's come up with.

And that's the story behind the FB post.

Thank you Jesus.

Definitely.

The Grapevine Story

Reproduced from the latest newsletter sent out to subscribers of my website:

Vines have been on my mind a lot lately.

Just outside my kitchen window is a sprawling grapevine planted by the people that used to live in our house.

The grapevine has spread all across the underside of the pergola, forming a lovely cool canopy in summer. Tendrils twirl around the washing line. When random vines intertwine, they form a bond so strong it can only be severed by a pair of secateurs.

The funny thing about the vines is: the more I prune them, the faster they seem to grow. They practically beg to be trimmed, leaning down into my face so that I walk right into them and have to notice their presence.

Nature has a lesson for us here.

As we go through life, there are times of reaping and harvest, when everything goes smoothly and it feels like life can't get more wonderful than this.

Then there are times of setbacks and challenges, the valley times, when every step is pain and struggle and loneliness.

When bad things happen, some people react as if they have been punished.

"Why is this happening?"

"Why me?"

"What have I done to deserve this?"

How Pruning Leads To New Growth

I prefer to think of hard times as a time of Pruning.

According to How To Grow Grapes: Choosing Varieties, Vines, Pruning, Trellis

by Linette Gerlach, there are two very good reasons for regularly pruning your grapevine.

One: Pruning allows maximum airflow and sunshine to reach the fruit. If you do not prune, you will have less fruit, and the fruit you do get will be smaller in size.

Two: If you do not prune, your grapevine will become unruly and harvest time will be tough.

I believe the same applies to how we live our lives. You and I are the vine, and our families, relationships, careers - all the things to which we daily apply our energy and creativity - are the fruits.

If we do not regularly perform a self-check to weed out the things that impede our personal growth - bad habits, false beliefs, an unhealthy lifestyle, poor relationships - we will find at the end of the journey that the fruits we produce are less powerful, less lasting, less sweet, and fewer than they might have been.

Every day is a good day to pause and check what needs to be pruned from our lives, so that we can grow Stronger, Bigger, Better.

Why not make a start today?

See you next month.

---

THOUGHT OF THE MONTH

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without,
the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.

Horace Bushnell

Seeds of faith are always within us;
sometimes it takes a crisis to nourish and encourage their growth.

Susan Taylor