HDB Flat: To Sell Or Not To Sell

Received an email from our tenant this week, asking if he and his co-tenants can extend the rental agreement for another year or two because they love our place so much and are so comfortable there.

First thought:
How nice! Of course, stay on, by all means. Couldn't find a nicer bunch of strangers to look after our place.

Afterthought:
But what happens if we want to sell?

J starts school in 2012 and I would really feel more financially secure if we dispose of the flat and bring some of the money over for school fees ($10K a year) and the added expenses of having two school-going kids.

More random thoughts, stream-of-consciousness style:

Should we ask the tenants if they have any plans to buy a flat and if so, would they like to make us an offer?
That would solve the problem of paying an agent to find buyers and go through the sales process, AND remove the burden of maintenance and upkeep as the flat ages. At least, the latter would no longer be our problem!
But how do we get a good price when the market for EMs hasn't moved in our favour?
We're looking at $450K based on sales statistics.
Not a very encouraging figure considering what we paid for it.
But we have to move on at some point and accept the possibility of losing money on the transaction.
How do we move our remaining possessions here at minimum cost?
And where will we store them?
Who should I get to draft the sales contract?
What if things go wrong because I didn't use an agent and miss out on an administrative procedure or two?
When is the best time to sell - 2011? Does the whole family need to go back to Sg?

More questions than answers.

I know the answers will come at the right time.

I just wish the path were clear RIGHT NOW and that someone Wise, Trustworthy and with our best interests at heart (God) would tell us CLEARLY what is step 1, step 2 etc.

Had a weird thought on my way to my first camping trip EVER.

The four of us spent a night at the Great Ocean Road Tourist Park @ Peterborough in a 3-man dome tent. Hubby had meant to add an element of luxury by bringing a QS airbed. Except the airbed kept deflating in the middle so only our heads and feet were well cushioned. Not much fun when you're awake in the middle of the night trying to go back to sleep and your sore tailbone is just one thin layer removed from the hard ground beneath.

Anyway, reflecting on the camp, I thought: this is my 40th year. How about I give myself a birthday present by making a commitment to do things I've never attempted before or have avoided doing in my life?

So for Jan 2010 - camping outdoors.

Feb 2010 - setting up a stall at the church monthly market.

And for the rest of the year...

Learn to cycle.

Get into swimsuit.

Volunteer to teach one term of Sunday School.

Rejoin the musos, but perhaps in a different capacity (worship singer?).

Haven't put together a list of 12 yet, but I'm sure it'll slowly come together.

Wouldn't it be fun to look back and say this is the year I really LIVED?

Building A Site With Professional Help

I have swallowed my pride and asked for help with my second web site.

The first site is tortoise-ing along and I will continue experimenting with it. For now, it's a real-life example of how NOT to build a site.

The second is meant to funnel traffic to my organics site.

Products first, business building later. I know the money is in recruitment but at this point, I just can't bring myself to invite anyone to join my team. I just want to get as much product out there as possible to all the people who are looking for natural health solutions and natural alternatives to OTC drugs.

The easy part is paying for the coaching service.

Now comes the hard part: working with my coach to decide which KWs are best, what my Most Wanted Response is (traffic and product sales), writing KW-rich articles that she can use.

By Christmas 2010, I should know if I'm on track to achieve an independent stream of income from ONE Group.

Brain Recharge

Just signed up to Singapore Law Watch for regular updates on legislation, case judgments etc.

After 4 years away from the law, it's very very hard to read through a judgment without giving in to the temptation to get back to more interesting pursuits like Facebook, YouTube and random surfing.

Are We Doing It As Tough As They Tell Us?

Read this enormously interesting piece in the Domain newsletter today (Crying poor? Count your rooms and houses, and think again).

You know how the media and pollies keep telling us the average family is struggling with rising interest rates, defaulting on mortgages, struggling with the consequences of job loss etc etc?

The writer Ross Gittins has taken a counter view to prevailing opinion.

He observes that the person/s to blame for this pity party is ourselves.

Why are we upgrading to McMansions, renovating/altering existing houses and buying holiday homes?

Is anyone making us do it?

"We buy ourselves a fabulous new house, take on a huge mortgage then, when we find the payments a bit of a struggle, think of ways to blame it on the government or the banks.

And the media and the politicians - which sell themselves using self-pity rather than truth - encourage us. We take what's clearly a self-sought rise in our material standard of living and, driven by self-pity, mentally convert it into a rise in the cost of living."

That's what we need.

The inconvenient truth told like it is. Rather than the truth we prefer to hear.

*Update*

Just after I finished this post, I stumbled on to a serendipitously related article in the Brisbane Times: A Fate Worse Than Death. Enjoy.

Making Friends Later In Life

It's true that the friends of our youth are the ones that stick the longest, but this week, I have experienced the joy and wonder of new friendships with unexpected individuals.

I am just so grateful that it is still possible to share deeply of one's life with a near-stranger without the benefit of age or phase-in-life similarities, and I plan to savour this connection for as long as both of us want it.

Outcome of The Audition

Got The Call today while in the midst of enjoying the company of my friends at home.

It began with "Unfortunately..."

I tried to find a thread of disappointment or rejection somewhere within - but couldn't find any.

Honestly, I was just relieved.

I've been having second and third thoughts the further I got along in the recruitment process, and wondering what would happen if I really had to make my way to and from classes in winter when I can't see well enough to drive.

I am glad I tried, and that I got as far as I did. Now I can go all out with my ONE Group business and make 2010 my year of success. Yeah! :-)

The 15-second Commercial

Have been listening to Michael Oliver's MiSales audio CDs in the car.

Today, I did my first 15-second commercial at the gym.

Chatting with a newbie to the Body Vive class, I was asked what I do for a living.

I did almost word-for-word as suggested by MO. That is, put my business front and center by positioning it in terms of how what I do benefits people.

"You know how lots of popular brands of skincare and cosmetics contain harmful chemicals that get absorbed into our skin? I help people by distributing skincare and cosmetics that are certified organic and contain no harmful chemicals. Completely natural."

"Really? What is the brand called?"

That opened the way for me to say "Miessence".

"I think I've heard of the name before," said my conversation partner.

She then shared that she uses Paula's Choice, which I've read about before.

We didn't get to chat much after that as the class started, but I've learned enough that I know how to take up the conversation when we next meet.

This isn't too hard. I think I can do this Natural Selling type of conversation every day. :-)

The Audition

Monday's teacher audition @ Malvern was a highly interesting experience.

My first challenge was getting everyone out of the house on time so that I could make it for the 8.13 train.

I was so stressed by anxiety that I woke at 1 am and didn't get to sleep till it was almost time for the alarm to go off.

So I started the morning looking tired and disheveled.

But I did it.

Beth was the first one in her class (and the whole of her year) to reach school, and I had the luxury of staying with her for 10 min till it was time to go.

I even had 20 min to spare after getting off at Malvern station. I stood at the corner of Station Place trying to work out which direction was Glenferrie Rd. Once I got my bearings, everything went really smoothly.

What really impressed me about Malvern was the number and variety of shops near the train station. Cafes, bakeries, shoe stores, boutiques, greengrocer, Vinnie's, recycled children's clothing, hairdresser, beauty salon...

Even the locals look different from the people I encounter where I live. For one, there didn't seem to be as many elderly. And the older ones were highly mobile and in good health. No one was in a gopher or wheelchair. The younger ones looked trim and healthy as they went by, their purchases tucked under one arm or a cup of takeaway coffee in hand.

Back to the audition.

I met Robyn (senior instructor) on my way in, and she asked me to pick up an availability form and pointed me to a room where I could rehearse before the audition.

The piano was LOUD.

It took me a while to figure out how to mute it to an acceptable volume so I wouldn't interrupt the conversations that were going on all around.

Then it was time to go in.

My interviewing panel was made up of Robyn and Rose, the regional coordinator who was also MC for this year's Annual Concert.

They took pains to be friendly and really put me at ease, but there was no getting away from performance nerves.

My prepared pieces went rather badly, and I rued not having spent more time the day before polishing them. It had been a busy weekend and I had let practice time slip away from me.

The sight singing and sight playing went quite well, except my voice was thin and soft. I was also told my personality is on the quiet side. As I explained to hubby later, that's just the way I am and I can't really help my voice or my personality being the way it is. If Yamaha considers that a minus point, then too bad. He agreed with my perspective. I think he was pleasantly surprised that I'm not stressing about how my weaknesses might be taken against me.

When I first applied for the position, I had my Plan B all worked out. Meaning that if I don't get accepted for a teaching position (Plan A), I will focus my energies on my organics business. So it's not like everything is hanging on this job application. This approach has really helped me relax and be honest with my interviewers. I told them about my night vision problems, because teachers are expected to teach from 4-7.30 pm on a week night, which can be terrible in winter when it gets dark by 5. I would have to find alternative transport since I can't drive at night.

I am now waiting to hear from Yamaha. If they say "You're in!", I will have to start organizing after-school care for my child. If they say "Sorry", I'll say "No worries, mate!" and get on with my organics business and my writing.

Life is so much easier when you are clear about what you want to do.

The Next Step

I have now made it through the Group Interview and completed two class observations.

The next step is to book myself in for the audition, which I've just done.

It's going to be pretty interesting, just to detach myself mentally and see how far I can go with this.

As former Olympian and Masters athlete Helen Searle says, "The way I see it, that great MD in the sky gives you the genes and the gifts and it's up to you which way you use them."

A Big Decision To Make

To teach-in-a-classroom-setting or not, that is the question.

I have now cleared the initial phone screen, the group interview and completed the two class observations for littlies and primary-school-aged children.

Now I have to decide if I want to proceed to audition stage.

If I say yes, there is much more than playing a few prepared pieces and singing my way through the 30-minute audition.

If I make it through, I have to sign an agreement, pay a training fee and attend a series of training seminars to get ready for the start of school term in 2010.

It's the seminars that make me think: this is too hard.

They're full-day, take place somewhere far from where I live, and will require efficient organization of after-school care for my kids. The very first seminar coincides with Beth's School Presentation Night and I am most reluctant to do anything that would jeopardize my attendance at this very important school function.

There's also the tricky issue of teaching on weekdays. I'll have to organize for hubby to work from home so he can pick up the girls from school and daycare. And during the three months from April-July, I'll be totally (night)blind after 5 pm and have to rely on someone (hubby, hopefully) to ferry me to and from classes.

A couple more things.

Am I comfortable being teacher/entertainer/role model to a group of kids and managing their parents?

Or would I be better sticking to private tuition?

How will I sustain teaching back-to-back classes when I can't project my voice properly and tend to go hoarse from singing from the throat?

The odds seem pretty daunting.

At the core of it, I have to ask myself whether group teaching is the best way for me to share and impart my love and knowledge of music to young children.

I have till Wed to decide.

Exploring Career Options

A most unexpected career option has popped up on my radar.

In my subconscious, I almost hoped I wouldn't get through the first stage so I could avoid having to perform at the audition (the final step).

I do so hate the stress of performance anxiety, the pressure of knowing my playing was never the best even when I was taking exams 18 years ago, and the feeling of failure and rejection that haunts me when my fingers stumble.

But the other half of me - my competitive, closet risk-taker half - wants to know if I can go all the way with the recruitment process.

The only way to satisfy this curiosity is to assume the best: imagine success, prepare like I'm going to make it, and just throw in everything I've got.

I knew there was a purpose for my constant fascination with all that visualization and affirmation self-help stuff.

After the initial phone interview, I thought I'd been written off because they were supposed to call me by 16 Oct if I'd made it through to the next stage, and the phone was silent all day.

Then the following Mon, I got a call asking me to please book in for the group interview on 29 Oct.

I was in shock, and I think I didn't sound as enthusiastic as I should have.

I scrambled to reach hubby at his office to discuss options. 29 Oct is a school day and also when J is home with me. I emailed my daughter's music teacher for ideas.

That is, instead of responding consciously, I reacted emotionally.

My sweet hubby offered to take the day off so he could accompany me to the interview location (seeing as I am so navigationally challenged) and entertain J while I go for my first job interview in, what, 8 years?

In the weeks since I first decided to apply for the job, I've shortlisted the pieces for the audition and practised desperately, trying to recapture the level of playing that enabled me to obtain my ATCL.

I tell you, it's hard work.

But it's also exhilarating because with each session, my fingers remember a bit more. It's like driving along a familiar motorway. Sometimes you go into autopilot mode, which is a nice break.

I've no idea how to prepare for the interview.

But I do know one thing: for every door that closes, a window opens.

"All things work together for them that love God, for them that are called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28

The Power Of Vision Boards

I am reading The Answer: Grow Any Business, Achieve Financial Freedom, and Live an Extraordinary Lifeand have started putting together my own vision boards.

A vision board, also called a dream board, is a collage of powerful words and images that evoke and reflect your dreams, goals and vision for your life/business/career/relationships/anything really.

Authors John Assaraf and Murray Smith describe the vision board as "an especially powerful tool for imprinting your aspirations on your nonconscious brain", or more succinctly, "designing your future". (Love that phrase!)

You can see sample vision boards at www.johnassaraf.com, including a very cool one made up for Barack Obama when he was campaigning for the Democratic Party nomination. (Look where it got him!)

I decided to try my hand at crafting a vision board or two.

So now I've got one for my dream home (the one with the polished floorboards, views of the sea, timber slatted backyard fence and decked all-weather alfresco area).

And one for my life/work.

My 7 y.o. says she's going to create a vision board for herself too. :-)

Putting Natural Selling Principles To Work

I have been listening to Michael Oliver's audio book How To Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety Or Losing Your Friends! in the car for the past 3 months.

I love how he teaches people in the network marketing business to listen, ask the right questions, and act from a desire to help. His approach works in any situation where you are having a conversation with someone; you don't have to be in a sales job to benefit from his excellent book.

Just this morning, I put myself out there (me, the confirmed introvert!) and invited 3 friends to a Learning Ladder home party.

Now, even though I have a network marketing business myself, I have been holding back on marketing it just because I am sales-shy and can't bring myself to talk to anyone about what I do. I just fear rejection so much and take it really hard when someone says no.

Michael Oliver says we should approach NM with the idea of helping others solve their problem. First, find out if there is a problem. If there isn't, there's nothing for me to do. Second, find out how much pain/discomfort the other person is because of the problem. If it's not bothering them enough that they are open to changing their situation, there's nothing for me to do.

Only when there is a problem and the other person is willing to take action can we look at how my solution might help.

Again, there is no guarantee. My solution might not be right for them, in which case there is nothing for me to do, and I move on.

When you look at NM like this, it really makes it more doable and less of a personal rejection risk.

My own encounter with Natural Selling began yesterday when I sounded out one of the ladies, whose son is Beth's classmate, and she said she was interested in coming along for the party. I showed her the catalogue and explained how Beth loved so many of the books and games and possibly the kids in the class would like them too. I also talked about how the quality of the products was so much better and the variety wider than what could be found in the shops.

This morning, I mentioned the home party to my reading partner. She said it sounded like a really good idea and could she bring along some nibbles so I didn't have to provide everything as I was already opening up my house!

As we were walking to the admin office, we met the other 2 ladies, one of whom is the friend I spoke with yesterday.

So there were 4 of us chatting in the playground. When the right moment came, I brought up the home party. Now 2 of them knew about it and the third was hearing it for the first time.

And they all said YES.

It was the easiest "pitch" I'd ever made, which almost makes me wish I were the LL presenter instead of just the hostess! :-)

Now to get to work on my organics biz...

I Feel Strong When...

I have been devouring Marcus Buckingham's strengths-based books and raving about them to readers of my careers website.

One of the activities he recommends in Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance is called a Strength Statement Card.

It's a great way to capture, clarify and confirm your strengths.

For instance, one of his strength statements says: "I feel strong when...I present, but only to a large group of people, on a subject I know a lot about, when I'm completely prepared, and when I know my presentation will further a mission."

The statement may mean nothing to anyone who reads it, but it means a lot to the creator, because it tells him exactly what makes him excel at his work.

Just yesterday, I had an extraordinary moment of strength while chatting with a friend's cousin. The cousin is here on holiday from Sg, and I soon discovered we had plenty in common. That made it easy to strike up a conversation.

Legal background.
Gave up full-time work to focus on her child's education and wellbeing.
Accustomed to Sg lifestyle of ready support from extended family and domestic help.
Struggling with the Big Decision:
Should she or should she not give up her comfortable Sg lifestyle to migrate to Aus?
What if things don't work out?
What if she can't get a job in Aus?

I sensed an immediate connection and a strong sense that she was bursting to tell someone all those things. And I happened to be there at the right place and the right time.

Synchronicity.

We chatted a bit and I shared my two cents' worth. What I particularly remember is a moment when I said (and I don't even know why I said it, and it certainly wasn't a sentiment I had ever expressed before) - "Singaporeans will thrive anywhere in the world. We've got a lot of positive traits and a good work ethic" etc etc.

My conversation partner said she was glad to hear me say all that.

Today, I heard from my friend that after talking to me, her cousin (who has held Aus PR for the past 15 years but has continually put off uprooting) is now a little more receptive to the idea of migrating to Aus.

How does that make me feel?

I guess you could say it makes me smile. :-)

Not because the outcome of her cousin's decision making makes a difference to me. It is after all a huge decision that she must arrive at and persuade herself of when she has made it. But simply because it confirmed what I'd already sensed while talking with her: there is a power that shines forth when I speak my truth from my heart.

So if I can distill down that act and the feeling into a strength statement, it would look like this (in very rough form):

I feel strong when...
I talk with someone who is contemplating or seeking change in her way of living, and I offer a thought, a personal truth or my perspective in a way that powerfully moves her to make a decision and to move forward and begin to live according to her new choices.

Good Advice For VCE Students And All Of Us

Another fantastic insight from the school newsletter this week:

"From my experience, life often opens up opportunities and outcomes in line with your expectations.

A prayerful attitude of expectation is unstoppable.

Why don't you test this yourself? In prayer ask for the best situations you desire, expecting the best of everything leading up to the exams: a calm and peaceful home life, the best health and energy levels, the best productive study time, the best feeling of peace and confidence on exam day, the best interactions with friends.

You will be surprised with the outcomes, especially if you give your very best to others in every situation as well."

How To Survive In Times Of Testing

A dear sister recently shared with me the following inspirational text, which really helped her through a prolonged period of testing and grief:

TRUST in His timing
RELY on His promises
WAIT for His answers
BELIEVE in His miracles
REJOICE in His goodness
RELAX in His presence.

Feng Shui and the Christian

This post is inspired by some material I received last night on Diamond Feng Shui, which you can read about here if you are interested.

Feng Shui (风水), which in Chinese means "wind water", is the ancient art of living in harmony with your physical environment. The Chinese believe that how you position the rooms in your house (even the facing of your doorway) and how you align your workspace affects your health, relationships, prosperity and how well you do in your career.

As a Singaporean Chinese, I grew up hearing my aunts insist that when you buy a house, you must make sure there isn't running water in front of your house (your luck will flow away).

I have a Malaysian friend who not too long ago managed to diagnose her friend's family problems - without having been told what they were - the minute she stepped through the door of the friend's house. Apparently, the master bedroom was near the entrance (as contemporary Aussie floorplans tend to be), there was a spiral staircase right in the centre of the foyer as you entered, there was an empty bedroom directly above the kitchen that had its windows permanently shut, etc etc.

I listened with fascination as my friend explained why all these living arrangements were incompatible with family harmony, finances and career progress. Her friend took her advice to heart and eventually sold up and moved out of the house.

Feng shui has become very popular in the West and is increasingly touted as a means of attaining or increasing one's health, wealth and success.

As a student of personal development and a Christian, I constantly ask myself if what I am learning is compatible with my faith. Is it wrong to observe and apply natural laws that ultimately were made by God?

If the position of my bed does in fact disrupt the energy and harmony of my marriage relationship, why wouldn't I reposition it?

If painting my wall a certain colour would encourage the inflow of money, why wouldn't I do it?

Those are all things I already desire: a loving relationship with my husband, more money so that I have the freedom to choose how I work without being tied down by I-need-money-to-pay-bills pressure.

If that's all it takes - moving things around the house - it doesn't seem too much to ask. After all, my understanding and knowledge are limited. Why not take advantage of someone else's wisdom, especially if that wisdom is thousands of years old and has proven beneficial for other people?

The tricky part comes, I think, when we give full credit to the Creation but forget to acknowledge the Creator.

And that is where most personal development practices and philosophies differ from the Christian faith.

Gurus like to talk about the laws of the universe, the Law of Attraction, natural laws etc and to persuade us to believe that the Universe wants us to succeed and is waiting to give us good things.

Well, the Universe as I know it is also a created thing. It did not come from nowhere. Its source is God. It deserves no more adulation and recognition than a beautiful flower or painting. It's like saying the Mona Lisa is one of the finest works of art of all time - and stopping there.

The Mona Lisa is the work of a person. And the Universe is the work of God.

The laws of energy or qi ( 气). The Law of Attraction. The laws of the Universe. All these are but human observations and interpretations of what God put in place at the beginning when he made the heavens and the earth.

During the time of Daniel the prophet, there were wise men and astrologers in King Nebuchadnezzar's palace. But none could equal the ability of Daniel. Not only could he interpret the king's dream, he could tell the king what that dream was. All the other wise men operated on the basis of "tell me your dream, and I will tell you what it means".

Daniel's ability did not come from himself, but from God. He was trying to save himself and the other wise men from an unfair execution. So he specifically asked God for the wisdom to know the king's dream and the meaning of it - and God honoured his request. Daniel made it very clear to the king that his special ability came from God. He gave God all the glory. He did not attribute his success to the stars or to himself.

Because it was so obvious that no one else in all the kingdom could match Daniel's supernatural ability, the king had no hesitation in accepting that Daniel's God was superior to all other gods. So in staying true to God and acknowledging His sovereignty and power, Daniel was materially rewarded.

So back to the question: can a Christian believe and practise the natural laws put in place by God?

I think the answer is yes, but the Christian has to tread very carefully.

As long as the Christian gives God the glory as Creator, He can enjoy and partake of the beauty, abundance and richness of Creation and all its amazing benefits. He can learn about the healing properties of herbs to improve his health and the health of loved ones. He can study those who are successful at what they do and who live inspired, fulfilling lives of service to others. He can study feng shui and how it affects his relationships, career and finances.

But he must never confuse the Creator with the created and fall into the delusion that he is the master of his own destiny and the author of his life script.

In a very limited sense, he is those things. Day to day, he makes choices that lead him in a certain direction and ultimately shape his life course.

But over and above all these, God is directing and shaping his course. God already knows what will happen next. If a person does not acknowledge God's role in his life and understand that he too is but part of Creation and his life is not his own, he is misguided.

This is a hard truth for the pre-Christian to accept. We would rather believe that we are the masters of our own destiny and that we can create the future we want.

Me?

Having seen the outcomes of some of my decisions and choices, I am glad - relieved - that it is not entirely up to me to determine my future. I would only make a hash of it. Either by being too much of something, or too little. My ego would get in the way. My lack of knowledge would trip me up. My fears would hold me back. In the end, I would be going forward and backward but making no real progress.

At the most, I am but a co-creator alongside God, in those situations where He graciously permits me to participate (like motherhood and childbirth).

And at the other end of the spectrum, I am one of His created. Made in His image and likeness, but a flawed representation in need of regular rescue and touch-ups.

Thank God for that.

When You Feel Demotivated

This fantastic extract came to me on a day when I was feeling a bit low in spirits and questioning my credibility as a coach...

From the Coaching Compass newsletter

Remember why you started on the path that you have chosen for yourself. Even if you are not quite to the point you want to be, enjoy your daily progress. Honor and even celebrate where you are right now. If you do not have fun with the steps you take forward, what is the point of continuing?

You will not be 100% complete with a goal if, at one time, you did not finish the first 25% of it. Embrace the plateaus of accomplishment. These can be natural resting spots. Do not confuse your current location on the path with your intended destination. This will only cause unnecessary stress because you are not there yet.

Keep moving in the direction of goals, and enjoy the journey. You will be there before you know it!

What Gets You Fired Up?

Was having a dialogue with someone about what fires her up and she said something really interesting.

She was talking about how she doesn't mind house chores BUT if the house is in a sad state and needing a lot of work to get it up to decent standard, she would be less motivated to clean it than if it were already in acceptable condition and all she had to do was continue maintaining it.

It takes less effort to maintain than to start again.

I guess the same principle applies to how motivated we feel about the projects we take on and the goals we set ourselves.

So the big question is...

If you are currently not in a good place in your career, how do you get to a place where you are ready, willing and able to commit to making that positive decision or critical next step that will take your career closer to your dream?