Can anything be worse than the misnomer called morning sickness? Some of us have it from morning till night - like me!
Just a few days ago, I thought I was at last turning the corner when I felt a little better in the morning. But no, here I am again, at Week 9, and still needing a couple of hours of bedrest every day. When I'm not resting, I'm stumbling around in a daze, getting mini-blackouts the minute I stand up, staring disinterestedly at the various healthy food choices in the fridge, too stooped to sit up straight, too guilty to consider lying down again.
It's debilitating - that's what MS is. Now I know how invalids or chronically ill people feel. How can you feel optimistic about life if you haven't got health?
Maybe it's age. Maybe it's a boy. Whatever. I've told hubby "no more" after this baby.
Hopefully, by that time, we'll be in Melb and living the organic produce/walk to the beach/drive to the countryside lifestyle and I'll get back some of my health.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Week 7: Symptoms
Due to see Dr. Kek this afternoon. Hopefully, I'll have enough strength for the visit, the commute to town, tea with Sandy and the commute home.
On the plus side, I should be able to save a little more this month as I've cut down on going out.
It's been a pretty rough fortnight. I've got all the textbook symptoms:
On the plus side, I should be able to save a little more this month as I've cut down on going out.
It's been a pretty rough fortnight. I've got all the textbook symptoms:
- Nausea
- Fatigue
- Breathlessness
- Sore boobs
- Constipation
- Bloated & gassy
- Loss of appetite
- Twinges in the abdomen
Most days, I just can't summon the energy to go out. Even walking the dog yesterday was doubtful, but I had to do it because I needed to fetch Beth from the school bus. I can spend up to 3 hours a day just lying down/napping from sheer fatigue. The nausea means I'm turned off by strong odours, fried food (my fave) no longer appeals to me, and mealtimes are a chore (if I cook, I find I'm turned off by the smells).
Hubby has been very sympathetic and supportive (as well he should!), taking on extra chores like bathing Beth, cooking, cleaning up, ironing Beth's uniforms. This morning, he jested on his way out that after "all this" is over, we'll have to take precautions when we have intercourse. We did it on 2 days out of the recommended 4 in April, and look what happened.
Have shared the good news with a few friends and associates:
- Edwin (I asked him to be my proxy for last Fri's meeting as I couldn't bring myself to get up at 5.30 and go through a 2-hour meeting)
- Debs (I asked her if USANA Essentials are safe to take in pregnancy)
- Shirlynn (I felt so off-colour while waiting to meet her for lunch last week that I almost couldn't stand up)
- Kat & Mei Ling (who asked if I was feeling better cos I'd skipped CG on Fri)
- Cat
- Chris Koh (she asked if I'd added to the family)
- Mila (she wanted to meet for tea)
- Siyong (she wanted to meet for a discussion about the kids' prog for the church retreat next month)
Have not told my extended family yet tho'.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
momtobeth....and another?
Today is 29 April 2006.
Just 4 days ago, I bought a home pregnancy test kit on a whim (or a strong inner compulsion to KNOW) after missing my period by 4 days. My periods are usually regular. If I come on the 21st of Mar, I should come on 21st of Apr. Except for that time in Mar when I was supposed to come on 14 Mar and didn't come till 21 Mar, which got me all excited and confused when I tested negative during the 7-day delay.
Anyway, on Tue evening, I was running late to meet my hubby for dinner, but stopped by Watson's and then the loo because I just felt I had to KNOW. As I watched the indicator slowly change colour and one magenta strip appear on the right, I felt a faint sliver of hope, because the diagram on the packaging showed that a negative test would have a single magenta strip on the left. So much hope hinged on my not having misunderstood the instructions!
After that last disappointing outcome in Aug 05 (when I lost the baby at 8 weeks), I've been wavering between to-have and not-to-have. The reasons for stopping at one are so compelling: my daughter's independent now; I can focus on my writing and coaching; I don't have to stay up at night to nurse or cope with baby illnesses; I have finally regained my figure and enjoy receiving compliments about how I look etc. But mostly, it's about the freedom of having a kid who's old enough to have conversations with and to take instructions, yet young enough to hug and cuddle.
On the other end of the spectrum, Beth's been asking for siblings - she wants TWINS, one boy and one girl! And in her earnest childlike faith, she has gone straight to Jesus about it, so Mummy and Daddy have pretty little say about things. It looks like her prayers have been heard.
How do I feel? Physically tired. If my memory serves me right, I didn't feel as tired in my last pregnancy. I had the symptoms for about a week, then they were gone, and soon after that the bleeding started.
This time, tho' I'm only about 4 weeks along, I feel exhausted and breathless and am literally slowing down in my movements. I'm shuffling round the house like an invalid or an old lady; I lower myself gingerly into the couch and get off just as carefully; I feel the urge to lie down and have a nap every few hours; my appetite's off (last night, after stir frying beef with chye sim, I had no urge to eat any of it); my abdomen's twingy and bloated and my boobs are too sore to be touched.
I am thankful for the symptoms, because they validate my pregnancy (I've not seen my gynae yet). At the same time, I fear it'll mean a decline in my work productivity (I'm scheduled to do an interview for an article next week; how will I manage?) and my zest for life - at least till I'm over the first trimester and visibly showing.
Lord, into your hands I commit this new adventure. You are my Maker and you know all things. May your will be done. Help me be a willing and obedient partner in your plans for my family. Amen.
Just 4 days ago, I bought a home pregnancy test kit on a whim (or a strong inner compulsion to KNOW) after missing my period by 4 days. My periods are usually regular. If I come on the 21st of Mar, I should come on 21st of Apr. Except for that time in Mar when I was supposed to come on 14 Mar and didn't come till 21 Mar, which got me all excited and confused when I tested negative during the 7-day delay.
Anyway, on Tue evening, I was running late to meet my hubby for dinner, but stopped by Watson's and then the loo because I just felt I had to KNOW. As I watched the indicator slowly change colour and one magenta strip appear on the right, I felt a faint sliver of hope, because the diagram on the packaging showed that a negative test would have a single magenta strip on the left. So much hope hinged on my not having misunderstood the instructions!
After that last disappointing outcome in Aug 05 (when I lost the baby at 8 weeks), I've been wavering between to-have and not-to-have. The reasons for stopping at one are so compelling: my daughter's independent now; I can focus on my writing and coaching; I don't have to stay up at night to nurse or cope with baby illnesses; I have finally regained my figure and enjoy receiving compliments about how I look etc. But mostly, it's about the freedom of having a kid who's old enough to have conversations with and to take instructions, yet young enough to hug and cuddle.
On the other end of the spectrum, Beth's been asking for siblings - she wants TWINS, one boy and one girl! And in her earnest childlike faith, she has gone straight to Jesus about it, so Mummy and Daddy have pretty little say about things. It looks like her prayers have been heard.
How do I feel? Physically tired. If my memory serves me right, I didn't feel as tired in my last pregnancy. I had the symptoms for about a week, then they were gone, and soon after that the bleeding started.
This time, tho' I'm only about 4 weeks along, I feel exhausted and breathless and am literally slowing down in my movements. I'm shuffling round the house like an invalid or an old lady; I lower myself gingerly into the couch and get off just as carefully; I feel the urge to lie down and have a nap every few hours; my appetite's off (last night, after stir frying beef with chye sim, I had no urge to eat any of it); my abdomen's twingy and bloated and my boobs are too sore to be touched.
I am thankful for the symptoms, because they validate my pregnancy (I've not seen my gynae yet). At the same time, I fear it'll mean a decline in my work productivity (I'm scheduled to do an interview for an article next week; how will I manage?) and my zest for life - at least till I'm over the first trimester and visibly showing.
Lord, into your hands I commit this new adventure. You are my Maker and you know all things. May your will be done. Help me be a willing and obedient partner in your plans for my family. Amen.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
The Discipline of Trying Something New
As I was walking outside International Plaza yesterday, I made up my mind to do something different: I would accept every flyer thrust at me by the infamous flyer promoters (who all seem to know each other), and see if there were any business opportunities in any of them.
My reasons?
I called the number on one, a corporate secretarial firm, with the aim of finding out if they work with freelance accountants. The staff who answered readily gave me his boss' mobile number, and I was able to speak with the big man.
And what do you know, he was actually looking for freelance accountants to build his stable of contacts! He asked me to get my associate to give him a call.
Easiest cold call referral I've ever done!
And to think I would have been none the wiser if I'd just tossed the flyer or worse, declined to accept it.
This one's for you, Mag! Hope it's a big one :)
My reasons?
- To explore a new way of finding referrals for my business associates before the next networking session.
- To give the companies behind the flyers a chance instead of just dismissing them (as everyone else does).
I called the number on one, a corporate secretarial firm, with the aim of finding out if they work with freelance accountants. The staff who answered readily gave me his boss' mobile number, and I was able to speak with the big man.
And what do you know, he was actually looking for freelance accountants to build his stable of contacts! He asked me to get my associate to give him a call.
Easiest cold call referral I've ever done!
And to think I would have been none the wiser if I'd just tossed the flyer or worse, declined to accept it.
This one's for you, Mag! Hope it's a big one :)
Finally...A 4-Figure Paycheque!
It has finally happened.
After months of feeling unworthy and not daring to charge anyone more than 3 figures for work done, I finally asked for - and got - my first 4-figure paycheque.
Mind you, it was hard work, and I didn't get it immediately right, which meant basically having to rewrite everything, but it was worth it, because the 2nd time around, things fell into place, I enjoyed the process, and I felt proud of the product.
The icing on the cake came when my client emailed me to say thanks for a job well done. I printed out the email and included it in my portfolio. :)
It feels good to do something well and be recognized for it.
After months of feeling unworthy and not daring to charge anyone more than 3 figures for work done, I finally asked for - and got - my first 4-figure paycheque.
Mind you, it was hard work, and I didn't get it immediately right, which meant basically having to rewrite everything, but it was worth it, because the 2nd time around, things fell into place, I enjoyed the process, and I felt proud of the product.
The icing on the cake came when my client emailed me to say thanks for a job well done. I printed out the email and included it in my portfolio. :)
It feels good to do something well and be recognized for it.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Breaking Old Barriers
I am terrified of being in the spotlight.
Even singing with the church choir once a month unnerves me to the point that I get a crick in my neck, which is extremely uncomfortable when you are already battling nerves. It's the sheer terror of standing before an audience and having to meet their eyes.
That is why I was amazed that last weekend in Malacca, before a group of about 60 financial planners, I was able to deliver a fairly smooth presentation on Career Planning. I had spent a lot of time rehearsing the flow in my head, but still managed to miss a few key points. That resulted in me ending 20 minutes before my time was up, but at least the flow wasn't disrupted by my occasional mental block.
Maybe it helped that I was sharing something I feel passionate about, especially the anecdotes based on personal experience. I tried very hard to "engage the audience" as suggested repeatedly by Thomas Mathew, the guy in charge of the seminar. I looked people in the eye, tried not to stay rooted to one spot, moved my hands a little bit, fiddled with the microphone wires.
Definitely I could have done better. In fact, right after the presentation, I was back poring over my notes and identifying (with a silent groan) all the important bits I'd left out because of my mental block. I think I'll give myself a 85% for info retention, which means I have quite a ways to go to get it right.
What was better: the positive feedback from some listeners, who:
a. felt I sounded like a seasoned presenter;
b. were inspired by the Robert Frost poem I shared at the end ("Two roads diverged in a wood, and I/I chose the one less travelled by/And that has made all the difference." - I memorized it just before my turn to speak!);
c. agreed with some of my points and felt they were valid;
d. asked to be informed if I should conduct another seminar in the near future; enquired about my rates for career coaching;
e. said they might have contacts to refer to me.
Better yet, the organizers are talking about sending me to the universities to talk to undergrads; workshops; video-on-demand training over the Net.
I have broken my own fear barrier (not necessarily permanently, but it's a good start for a complete introvert), kept faith with my inner voice, and made a difference in someone's life.
For a 7th-month milestone, this ain't bad. :)
Even singing with the church choir once a month unnerves me to the point that I get a crick in my neck, which is extremely uncomfortable when you are already battling nerves. It's the sheer terror of standing before an audience and having to meet their eyes.
That is why I was amazed that last weekend in Malacca, before a group of about 60 financial planners, I was able to deliver a fairly smooth presentation on Career Planning. I had spent a lot of time rehearsing the flow in my head, but still managed to miss a few key points. That resulted in me ending 20 minutes before my time was up, but at least the flow wasn't disrupted by my occasional mental block.
Maybe it helped that I was sharing something I feel passionate about, especially the anecdotes based on personal experience. I tried very hard to "engage the audience" as suggested repeatedly by Thomas Mathew, the guy in charge of the seminar. I looked people in the eye, tried not to stay rooted to one spot, moved my hands a little bit, fiddled with the microphone wires.
Definitely I could have done better. In fact, right after the presentation, I was back poring over my notes and identifying (with a silent groan) all the important bits I'd left out because of my mental block. I think I'll give myself a 85% for info retention, which means I have quite a ways to go to get it right.
What was better: the positive feedback from some listeners, who:
a. felt I sounded like a seasoned presenter;
b. were inspired by the Robert Frost poem I shared at the end ("Two roads diverged in a wood, and I/I chose the one less travelled by/And that has made all the difference." - I memorized it just before my turn to speak!);
c. agreed with some of my points and felt they were valid;
d. asked to be informed if I should conduct another seminar in the near future; enquired about my rates for career coaching;
e. said they might have contacts to refer to me.
Better yet, the organizers are talking about sending me to the universities to talk to undergrads; workshops; video-on-demand training over the Net.
I have broken my own fear barrier (not necessarily permanently, but it's a good start for a complete introvert), kept faith with my inner voice, and made a difference in someone's life.
For a 7th-month milestone, this ain't bad. :)
Monday, March 06, 2006
The Wallflower Finds The Sun
I've been a wallflower for as long as I can remember.
In school, I was the goody-two-shoes who had no idea how to win friends and influence people. At work, I shunned the limelight and made self-deprecating comments every time someone praised me.
After joining BNI, I am learning the importance of marketing myself. I am learning that everyone is in sales, whether that is their job description or not. If I do not do a good job of impressing on you that I am professional, competent and that my goods or services are priced competitively, how will I persuade you to buy from me?
To my surprise and that of my members, I am bringing in visitors to my chapter meetings almost weekly. While none has signed up (one did, but then a huge project came along, and, well, business called), it thrills me no end that people actually come because I asked.
In my quest to bring new faces into the meetings, I have gone so far as to give out our chapter business cards to strangers, and to recommend the services of my associates when the subject of a business need comes up (the latest being at Career Fair, where I purposefully met a land banker, an entrepreneur-to-be from abroad, and a publisher).
It's an incredible feeling when you do something you never thought you could. I like the sense that I'm giving my inner self a good stretch each time an opportunity comes up to do something different and bold and even foolish.
Yup - the wallflower is finding the sun, and loving the feel of its warmth on her face. :)
In school, I was the goody-two-shoes who had no idea how to win friends and influence people. At work, I shunned the limelight and made self-deprecating comments every time someone praised me.
After joining BNI, I am learning the importance of marketing myself. I am learning that everyone is in sales, whether that is their job description or not. If I do not do a good job of impressing on you that I am professional, competent and that my goods or services are priced competitively, how will I persuade you to buy from me?
To my surprise and that of my members, I am bringing in visitors to my chapter meetings almost weekly. While none has signed up (one did, but then a huge project came along, and, well, business called), it thrills me no end that people actually come because I asked.
In my quest to bring new faces into the meetings, I have gone so far as to give out our chapter business cards to strangers, and to recommend the services of my associates when the subject of a business need comes up (the latest being at Career Fair, where I purposefully met a land banker, an entrepreneur-to-be from abroad, and a publisher).
It's an incredible feeling when you do something you never thought you could. I like the sense that I'm giving my inner self a good stretch each time an opportunity comes up to do something different and bold and even foolish.
Yup - the wallflower is finding the sun, and loving the feel of its warmth on her face. :)
The Tide Turns
Finally, after close to 3 months in business, the $ is starting to come in. It's not a lot, but that's not the point. It's the fact that people are actually paying me to write (something I love to do) that's worth celebrating.
I received $400 for 2 brochures which were outsourced to me by a phenomenally busy fellow writer; $30 for copyediting a company's mission/vision statement; $165 for a 1,000+ word article for a magazine.
Also in the pipeline: $250 for writing a CEO profile and corporate profile for a company.
More exciting news: I wrote my first book!! I don't know many things more worthy of being shouted from the rooftops. Do you? :)
Based on the agreement with the publishers, I should get 20% of sales plus spin-offs in the form of speaking engagements; the audiences will be secured by the publishers. All I need to do is literally stand and deliver.
I received $400 for 2 brochures which were outsourced to me by a phenomenally busy fellow writer; $30 for copyediting a company's mission/vision statement; $165 for a 1,000+ word article for a magazine.
Also in the pipeline: $250 for writing a CEO profile and corporate profile for a company.
More exciting news: I wrote my first book!! I don't know many things more worthy of being shouted from the rooftops. Do you? :)
Based on the agreement with the publishers, I should get 20% of sales plus spin-offs in the form of speaking engagements; the audiences will be secured by the publishers. All I need to do is literally stand and deliver.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Relatively Speaking
Last night, my family and I were at The Hiding Place's Chinese New Year Bazaar @ Jalan Kayu. It's been an annual affair for the past few years - stocking up on New Year goodies and doing a bit of "shan4 shi4" (charitable works) at the same time, as the proceeds go to The Hiding Place, a halfway house for recovering drug addicts.
This year, I was in a less-than-joyous mood as I was battling a bad skin problem. My scalp was irritable and flaky, my eczema rashes had flared up again after appearing to be healing, and the humid weather was making me grumpy and feeling uncharitable towards mankind.
That was until we ran into Pastor Edmund.
We last saw PE and his family at our church retreat in June 05. He inspired as well as rebuked us because his lifestyle was completely opposite of everything we were striving for. He and his family live in a 4-room HDB flat, travel around by public transport (except when kind church members volunteer to ferry them around), and spend the school holidays doing missions work in Kolkatta, India.
I watched the kids (a 17-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy) closely throughout the retreat, and discovered to my amazement that they had a solid camaraderie as brother and sister, and a close bond with their parents. I eagerly looked for signs of resentment or bitterness at being forced to live such a minimalistic, materially deprived (to me) lifestyle, and found none. Unless they were extraordinarily good actors, they appeared genuinely content and happy with their lot. To me, that was incredible.
Last night, they were again knee-deep in good works, manning the cashiers' counter (the kids), helping to pack and sell pineapple tarts (Mrs PE), walking around to see that everything was ok (PE). PE and wife were delighted to see us. We, on the other hand, squirmed with discomfort.
As I confided to my husband, coming face to face with PE is an uncomfortable experience for me. I feel as if I have done something wrong and need to hide. Whenever I look him in the eye, his direct gaze seems to pierce through my self-centredness, my vain ambition, my endless seeking for financial and material security. His very lifestyle is a direct rebuke to me. I have more than enough, yet it is never enough. I spend anxious nights thinking of how to get more customers for my writing business, how to invite visitors to BNI, but not enough time spreading the Good News. If I applied myself to the spreading of God's Word with as much enthusiasm as I do my other ventures, perhaps God would be pleased.
As a dear sister reminded me in church on Sunday, who are we comparing ourselves with - our peers in private practice with their fancy children's birthday parties and bling bling-flashing spouses, or the Legal Aid applicants with no options, no money and no resources for their daily needs?
This year, I was in a less-than-joyous mood as I was battling a bad skin problem. My scalp was irritable and flaky, my eczema rashes had flared up again after appearing to be healing, and the humid weather was making me grumpy and feeling uncharitable towards mankind.
That was until we ran into Pastor Edmund.
We last saw PE and his family at our church retreat in June 05. He inspired as well as rebuked us because his lifestyle was completely opposite of everything we were striving for. He and his family live in a 4-room HDB flat, travel around by public transport (except when kind church members volunteer to ferry them around), and spend the school holidays doing missions work in Kolkatta, India.
I watched the kids (a 17-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy) closely throughout the retreat, and discovered to my amazement that they had a solid camaraderie as brother and sister, and a close bond with their parents. I eagerly looked for signs of resentment or bitterness at being forced to live such a minimalistic, materially deprived (to me) lifestyle, and found none. Unless they were extraordinarily good actors, they appeared genuinely content and happy with their lot. To me, that was incredible.
Last night, they were again knee-deep in good works, manning the cashiers' counter (the kids), helping to pack and sell pineapple tarts (Mrs PE), walking around to see that everything was ok (PE). PE and wife were delighted to see us. We, on the other hand, squirmed with discomfort.
As I confided to my husband, coming face to face with PE is an uncomfortable experience for me. I feel as if I have done something wrong and need to hide. Whenever I look him in the eye, his direct gaze seems to pierce through my self-centredness, my vain ambition, my endless seeking for financial and material security. His very lifestyle is a direct rebuke to me. I have more than enough, yet it is never enough. I spend anxious nights thinking of how to get more customers for my writing business, how to invite visitors to BNI, but not enough time spreading the Good News. If I applied myself to the spreading of God's Word with as much enthusiasm as I do my other ventures, perhaps God would be pleased.
As a dear sister reminded me in church on Sunday, who are we comparing ourselves with - our peers in private practice with their fancy children's birthday parties and bling bling-flashing spouses, or the Legal Aid applicants with no options, no money and no resources for their daily needs?
Monday, January 23, 2006
Am I In Business Or What?
Just moments after that last post, I had the most amazing phone call.
A lady with an East European accent called to say she is a freelance translator and would like to discuss the possibility of collaborating!
I have a hunch she got my number from the latest eguide listing (www.eguide.com.sg), which shows advertising does pay off.
While my sleep-fogged mind tried to process what she was saying, another idea struck me. I tried it out, and it worked like a charm. Basically, I told my caller about BNI and what it could do for her, and she agreed to come for our next breakfast meeting!
Now how is that for a mousy introvert who never believed she could sell anything to anyone?
A lady with an East European accent called to say she is a freelance translator and would like to discuss the possibility of collaborating!
I have a hunch she got my number from the latest eguide listing (www.eguide.com.sg), which shows advertising does pay off.
While my sleep-fogged mind tried to process what she was saying, another idea struck me. I tried it out, and it worked like a charm. Basically, I told my caller about BNI and what it could do for her, and she agreed to come for our next breakfast meeting!
Now how is that for a mousy introvert who never believed she could sell anything to anyone?
Drowning in Too Much Info
From time to time, I step back and ask myself what the heck I'm doing. These are just a couple of things I'm exploring, with no idea if any of them are worth the time, $ and effort invested in researching them.
- Affiliate marketing (How do you know which ones are real and which ones are a scam, without putting in some $ to try out the products?)
- Network marketing (It sounds so good, buying quality products to try out and then encouraging your friends and family to try them out too and profiting from the difference between the retail and wholesale price, but what if I'm lousy at sales?)
- Internet marketing (Setting up a website to buy and sell stuff on eBay or your own platform. How do I know what to buy/sell?)
- Barter exchange trading (The latest one I've heard is Ozone, which started in NZ and now has a presence in S'pore. I like the idea of trading without cash.)
- Business networking through a system of structured giving and receiving of referrals (This one definitely works. Or at least, the system that I know as BNI works.)
If only there was a totally independent, reliable source of info on all these ventures...
Sunday, January 15, 2006
High Hopes
God has been really gracious and generous this week.
In the space of 4 days, 1 met up with 3 different prospects to discuss ways I could meet their writing needs.
1st up on Monday morning was the CEO of an IT solutions company that offers graphic design, web design and photography services. Over a one-hour chat, the CEO mooted the possibility of outsourcing to me all the copywriting and business proposal writing needs of the company, subject to his partners' agreement.
On Thu morning, I met with the lady whose department has been tasked to roll out an ambitious PR campaign for occupational health and safety. She needs someone to translate the legalese in the new statute to language accessible to the layman. In addition, she needs powerful taglines for the collaterals that will convey the department's message to the world. The project is expected to run for a year.
On Wed evening, I met up with the financial adviser and her partners to discuss a writing project. It turned out they were recruiting writers for a series of educational books. Each writer would be an expert in their respective fields of practice. The ultimate objective was to release the books for publication throughout the year and to hold a conference in Dec, where the writers would speak at workshops during the conference.
I was asked what I would like to write on, bearing in mind that someone in the team had already started on a Creative Writing book. I thought hard, and finally suggested Career Counseling.
Career Counseling, I explained, is a subject that individuals of all ages need to know about, especially students faced with tough decisions about subject combinations, whether to go into the Arts/Science/Commerce stream, whether to follow the orthodox educational path or to take the road less travelled. Students need to be guided on the impact tomorrow of the choices they make today, and to be educated about their options. Most of all, they need objective knowledge of their strengths and weaknesses so that they can make informed decisions, and not rely solely on what their parents want or what their peers think is best for them.
I must have been quite convincing (it's easy if you're passionate about something), because the interviewers seemed satisfied and welcomed me on the team.
I was asked to submit a mindmap/outline of the proposed book(I'm gonna write a book!) asap, plus start writing the book proper.
Last night, I shot off an email to the coordinator with my proposed outline. Today, she replied with some suggestions, and asked me to send her the chapters as I write them! At the same time, the marketing i/c asked for my bio and photo, which are to go on the publicity website, and one of the interviewers gave his views on issues which he felt I should address in my book.
The whole thing has become so unreal. I can't believe I'm going to write a book, have someone publish it for me FOC, and have my name out there as an expert on career counseling.
I mean, I don't exactly have 20 years' experience in the field. How can I claim to be any kind of expert?
After a good deal of freaking out, here's my plan:
First off, this project has to be dedicated to the LORD. Only He has the wisdom I need to successfully execute this project. If I pull it off, it will be a testimony to all who know me of what He can accomplish through a willing follower.
Secondly, as my family may relocate to Melbourne later this year, I will use my time there to concentrate on obtaining certification in Career Counseling.
I already have my eye on a particular school that's affiliated with the career coaching institute that I underwent training with last July. The cost is reasonable, and it's accredited as on par with a degree course in Australia.
As I study, I will also look for opportunities to coach part-time in Melbourne, using anyone I know as a starting point to practise what I'm learning.
Hopefully, by Dec, I'll have enough material and enough credibility to go on stage and share with my audience what I've learnt through my own career journey.
So here I am, possibly on the brink of some really great things, and terrified!
How do I move from newbie to expert, from the steep end of the learning curve to a point where things are in control?
How do I build up my expertise and reputation so that no one will doubt my credibility and ability to deliver?
Being a starving writer is something I can do with my eyes closed.
Being a bestselling writer and career planning expert?
That's something I've never even thought about, and here I am in the unique position of having these things being practically offered to me.
No wonder they say "Be careful what you ask for; it might come true."
In the space of 4 days, 1 met up with 3 different prospects to discuss ways I could meet their writing needs.
1st up on Monday morning was the CEO of an IT solutions company that offers graphic design, web design and photography services. Over a one-hour chat, the CEO mooted the possibility of outsourcing to me all the copywriting and business proposal writing needs of the company, subject to his partners' agreement.
On Thu morning, I met with the lady whose department has been tasked to roll out an ambitious PR campaign for occupational health and safety. She needs someone to translate the legalese in the new statute to language accessible to the layman. In addition, she needs powerful taglines for the collaterals that will convey the department's message to the world. The project is expected to run for a year.
On Wed evening, I met up with the financial adviser and her partners to discuss a writing project. It turned out they were recruiting writers for a series of educational books. Each writer would be an expert in their respective fields of practice. The ultimate objective was to release the books for publication throughout the year and to hold a conference in Dec, where the writers would speak at workshops during the conference.
I was asked what I would like to write on, bearing in mind that someone in the team had already started on a Creative Writing book. I thought hard, and finally suggested Career Counseling.
Career Counseling, I explained, is a subject that individuals of all ages need to know about, especially students faced with tough decisions about subject combinations, whether to go into the Arts/Science/Commerce stream, whether to follow the orthodox educational path or to take the road less travelled. Students need to be guided on the impact tomorrow of the choices they make today, and to be educated about their options. Most of all, they need objective knowledge of their strengths and weaknesses so that they can make informed decisions, and not rely solely on what their parents want or what their peers think is best for them.
I must have been quite convincing (it's easy if you're passionate about something), because the interviewers seemed satisfied and welcomed me on the team.
I was asked to submit a mindmap/outline of the proposed book(I'm gonna write a book!) asap, plus start writing the book proper.
Last night, I shot off an email to the coordinator with my proposed outline. Today, she replied with some suggestions, and asked me to send her the chapters as I write them! At the same time, the marketing i/c asked for my bio and photo, which are to go on the publicity website, and one of the interviewers gave his views on issues which he felt I should address in my book.
The whole thing has become so unreal. I can't believe I'm going to write a book, have someone publish it for me FOC, and have my name out there as an expert on career counseling.
I mean, I don't exactly have 20 years' experience in the field. How can I claim to be any kind of expert?
After a good deal of freaking out, here's my plan:
First off, this project has to be dedicated to the LORD. Only He has the wisdom I need to successfully execute this project. If I pull it off, it will be a testimony to all who know me of what He can accomplish through a willing follower.
Secondly, as my family may relocate to Melbourne later this year, I will use my time there to concentrate on obtaining certification in Career Counseling.
I already have my eye on a particular school that's affiliated with the career coaching institute that I underwent training with last July. The cost is reasonable, and it's accredited as on par with a degree course in Australia.
As I study, I will also look for opportunities to coach part-time in Melbourne, using anyone I know as a starting point to practise what I'm learning.
Hopefully, by Dec, I'll have enough material and enough credibility to go on stage and share with my audience what I've learnt through my own career journey.
So here I am, possibly on the brink of some really great things, and terrified!
How do I move from newbie to expert, from the steep end of the learning curve to a point where things are in control?
How do I build up my expertise and reputation so that no one will doubt my credibility and ability to deliver?
Being a starving writer is something I can do with my eyes closed.
Being a bestselling writer and career planning expert?
That's something I've never even thought about, and here I am in the unique position of having these things being practically offered to me.
No wonder they say "Be careful what you ask for; it might come true."
Saturday, January 14, 2006
MBT (Masai Barefoot Technology)
I got my first pair of MBT's!
I first heard about them through the media. All I knew was that the shoes were inspired by the Masai warriors' ability to run barefoot across the plains in Africa.
What got my attention was when a dear friend excitedly shared with me over the phone about how her MBT's were just the most wonderful things ever invented. Not only could she walk and walk in them without any discomfort, she found her posture improving and her backache reduced.
The only note of caution she sounded was the cost.
"But since you're already a Kumfs fan, I don't think that's a problem," she cheekily added.
She has a point.
Aside from Kumfs, I've tried Arcopedico (handmade Portugese shoes that are as light as socks), Ecco, Birkenstocks, and Crocs (super-lightweight shoes that are really funky, or ugly, depending on who you ask). I've also worn custom-made orthotics for the past 18 months. In fact, I'm pretty game for anything that promises to be gentle with my super-sensitive, over-pronated, calloused, flat feet. And oh, did I mention I also have really painful bunions?
So I was thrilled today when my family and I stepped into the Red Wing shoe store at Suntec City. The MBT collection is disappointingly tiny though, with mostly casual/sporty designs. I saw nothing that was suitable for wearing with a power suit. Somehow, comfy shoes just aren't designed for boardroom wear.
I was impressed by the foot measurement machine at the entrance of the store. You place your foot in the rectangular slot, the calipers move inwards to position themselves snugly around your foot, and the size and width of your foot are immediately displayed. This reduces the possibility of you choosing the wrong shoe size for your foot shape.
The salesperson shook his head when he saw my feet.
"You have to be really careful not to put additional pressure on those bunions," he advised. "I've seen worse cases than yours though," he added by way of consolation.
I ended up choosing a white pair of sandals that look halfway decent paired with light-coloured bottoms. Best of all, my hubby offered to pay for them, and I graciously accepted.
The purchase came with a training VCD (apparently, you have to wear MBT's the prescribed way or they won't be effective) and a $20 free voucher entitling me to an MBT training workshop.
If the shoes deliver on their promise, it would be $380 well spent.
I first heard about them through the media. All I knew was that the shoes were inspired by the Masai warriors' ability to run barefoot across the plains in Africa.
What got my attention was when a dear friend excitedly shared with me over the phone about how her MBT's were just the most wonderful things ever invented. Not only could she walk and walk in them without any discomfort, she found her posture improving and her backache reduced.
The only note of caution she sounded was the cost.
"But since you're already a Kumfs fan, I don't think that's a problem," she cheekily added.
She has a point.
Aside from Kumfs, I've tried Arcopedico (handmade Portugese shoes that are as light as socks), Ecco, Birkenstocks, and Crocs (super-lightweight shoes that are really funky, or ugly, depending on who you ask). I've also worn custom-made orthotics for the past 18 months. In fact, I'm pretty game for anything that promises to be gentle with my super-sensitive, over-pronated, calloused, flat feet. And oh, did I mention I also have really painful bunions?
So I was thrilled today when my family and I stepped into the Red Wing shoe store at Suntec City. The MBT collection is disappointingly tiny though, with mostly casual/sporty designs. I saw nothing that was suitable for wearing with a power suit. Somehow, comfy shoes just aren't designed for boardroom wear.
I was impressed by the foot measurement machine at the entrance of the store. You place your foot in the rectangular slot, the calipers move inwards to position themselves snugly around your foot, and the size and width of your foot are immediately displayed. This reduces the possibility of you choosing the wrong shoe size for your foot shape.
The salesperson shook his head when he saw my feet.
"You have to be really careful not to put additional pressure on those bunions," he advised. "I've seen worse cases than yours though," he added by way of consolation.
I ended up choosing a white pair of sandals that look halfway decent paired with light-coloured bottoms. Best of all, my hubby offered to pay for them, and I graciously accepted.
The purchase came with a training VCD (apparently, you have to wear MBT's the prescribed way or they won't be effective) and a $20 free voucher entitling me to an MBT training workshop.
If the shoes deliver on their promise, it would be $380 well spent.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
If You Never Try, You'll Never Know
Some amazing events happened recently, which only serves to show: Life is like a box of chocolates!
- One day, while trawling through the SENT box in my email account, I noticed I'd sent an email to a prospect but hadn't heard from him for more than a month. Ordinarily, I would've dismissed it as a 'not interested' case and moved on, but something made me persist. I looked up his business card, called him and tried to jolt his memory regarding my email. To my pleasant surprise, he didn't sound confused or annoyed, but explained that he might have missed my email and requested that I resend it. I promptly did, and have high hopes of turning this cold call into a warm lead.
- A financial planner I briefly met at a networking session called to say she was really impressed at how quickly I emailed her after we met. (I did so within the day.) She went on to outline a project she might need my help in, and we scheduled an appointment for the following week.
- A lady whose name I'd heard another contact mention, called to say she was checking me out despite not knowing a thing about my portfolio! She was working on an awareness campaign for a statutory board, and needed help conceptualizing and writing the content of the releases. We have also scheduled an appointment.
- A contact I know has just invested in a spa business and wants to recoup his 6-figure investment within a year. He proposed paying me on a commission basis as he is on a tight budget. If he hit his sales target, and it could be proven that this was due to my writing, I would get x%. Otherwise, I wouldn't get paid for my work. After much agonizing about whether this was a real deal or a scam, I declined.
Who says being a freelancer is boring?
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Warming Up To Cold Calls
I hate cold calls. Especially if they're from people trying to demo the newest vacuum cleaner, financial/insurance product or asking me personal questions about my household.
That is why I would not wish it on anybody else. It's also what makes being self-employed so hard.
Let's face it. You can't sit home all day expecting the phone to ring off the hook, or for dream jobs to just drop into your email inbox. All the marketing gurus (and my business friends as well) recommend networking and making cold calls.
The thought leaves me cold. If I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, why would I want to be the one to make the call and bug a stranger?
Again the gurus explain: For every 10 prospects you call, 3 may be willing to meet up, and 1 may eventually close a deal with you. Logic? The more calls you make, the greater the likelihood of your making a sale.
Sounds simple, except that I am exceptionally thin-skinned and fear rejection of any kind....even from someone I've never met.
So what's a starving writer to do?
This morning, I finally (reluctantly) picked up the phone. Except it wasn't really a cold call. A contact had already paved the way (it's called a lead) by giving me a name and number to call. All I had to do was introduce myself and tell him my contact had recommended me to call him.
It worked like a charm. While I didn't close any sale, I got a signpost of sorts: another name and email address, and confirmation that my services were in demand.
For a start, that's good enough for me.
Now to work my way down the list.
That is why I would not wish it on anybody else. It's also what makes being self-employed so hard.
Let's face it. You can't sit home all day expecting the phone to ring off the hook, or for dream jobs to just drop into your email inbox. All the marketing gurus (and my business friends as well) recommend networking and making cold calls.
The thought leaves me cold. If I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, why would I want to be the one to make the call and bug a stranger?
Again the gurus explain: For every 10 prospects you call, 3 may be willing to meet up, and 1 may eventually close a deal with you. Logic? The more calls you make, the greater the likelihood of your making a sale.
Sounds simple, except that I am exceptionally thin-skinned and fear rejection of any kind....even from someone I've never met.
So what's a starving writer to do?
This morning, I finally (reluctantly) picked up the phone. Except it wasn't really a cold call. A contact had already paved the way (it's called a lead) by giving me a name and number to call. All I had to do was introduce myself and tell him my contact had recommended me to call him.
It worked like a charm. While I didn't close any sale, I got a signpost of sorts: another name and email address, and confirmation that my services were in demand.
For a start, that's good enough for me.
Now to work my way down the list.
Monday, December 26, 2005
The Burden Of Gift Giving
Lest you think I am a Scrooge who hates making others happy through gift-giving, let me explain.
It is not the giving itself but the whole process of not knowing that is so stressful - having to blindly guess a recipient's tastes and preferences (particularly when the recipient is a child), having to tread that delicate balance between overspending and being considered a cheapskate, not knowing if it's appropriate to recycle a gift, worrying about buying something wholly inappropriate or useless...
Last Christmas, I wisely spent the months before planning my list of what to buy, and completely avoided the last-minute desperate rush for gifts.
This year has been a lean year as our family has been living on one income for the past 3 months, and I wanted to spend as little as possible. Still, it was impossible to get away with being minimalist. As far as our small group is concerned, the kids will always get their presents, even if the adults don't. So we bought the obligatory gift exchange present for one other couple, and agonized over what to get for the already-saturated-with-more-toys-than-necessary little ones.
In the end, I still had to make that desperate last-minute stop at a stationery store to put something decent together for the little girl in our group whom I hadn't planned to buy anything for because her whole family had been stationed overseas and were back for the hols for one week.
The whole thing fell apart when I found myself wrapping, taping and scribbling in the back seat on our way to the Christmas lunch for the small group. I grumbled no end and was frightfully snappy with my husband and daughter. That of course took away the joy of the season, but I was feeling as low as I possibly could, and having to keep up a chirpy front before the others was too much.
The good thing is: at least my extended family allowed me to get away with giving homemade choc chip cookies this year. And Mum got a calendar that I created off MS Publisher with a few choice photos of her granddaughter. Cost: $1.90 (for lamination, which was done at the neighbourhood stationery store).
'Tis the season to start planning next year's Christmas gift list. Maybe everyone will get gifts of homemade goodies. Time to take down those dusty recipe books from the shelf.
It is not the giving itself but the whole process of not knowing that is so stressful - having to blindly guess a recipient's tastes and preferences (particularly when the recipient is a child), having to tread that delicate balance between overspending and being considered a cheapskate, not knowing if it's appropriate to recycle a gift, worrying about buying something wholly inappropriate or useless...
Last Christmas, I wisely spent the months before planning my list of what to buy, and completely avoided the last-minute desperate rush for gifts.
This year has been a lean year as our family has been living on one income for the past 3 months, and I wanted to spend as little as possible. Still, it was impossible to get away with being minimalist. As far as our small group is concerned, the kids will always get their presents, even if the adults don't. So we bought the obligatory gift exchange present for one other couple, and agonized over what to get for the already-saturated-with-more-toys-than-necessary little ones.
In the end, I still had to make that desperate last-minute stop at a stationery store to put something decent together for the little girl in our group whom I hadn't planned to buy anything for because her whole family had been stationed overseas and were back for the hols for one week.
The whole thing fell apart when I found myself wrapping, taping and scribbling in the back seat on our way to the Christmas lunch for the small group. I grumbled no end and was frightfully snappy with my husband and daughter. That of course took away the joy of the season, but I was feeling as low as I possibly could, and having to keep up a chirpy front before the others was too much.
The good thing is: at least my extended family allowed me to get away with giving homemade choc chip cookies this year. And Mum got a calendar that I created off MS Publisher with a few choice photos of her granddaughter. Cost: $1.90 (for lamination, which was done at the neighbourhood stationery store).
'Tis the season to start planning next year's Christmas gift list. Maybe everyone will get gifts of homemade goodies. Time to take down those dusty recipe books from the shelf.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Is Working From Home For Me?
I have a nagging suspicion that working from home requires a great deal more self-discipline than I possess right now.
Besides getting sidetracked by all the interesting fluff on the Net, my other big challenge is focussing on the important people in my life, such as my daughter.
Despite starting out with good intentions of devoting evenings exclusively to being with her, I am finding her a distraction and disruption when I need to send out an email or do some work that involves being online.
This evening was a perfect example of a perfect disaster.
3-year-olds are notoriously demanding, and my little girl is no different. While I was engrossed in crafting my most inspired invitation letter ever, she insisted on sitting on my lap (thus blocking my view of the monitor) and repeatedly asking for her milk.
"Wait till I finish this email," said I.
"No...I want it NOW!"
That was the exact same moment the computer chose to crash... just before I pressed "Send"!
I was so furious at the loss of my hard work that I took out my anger on her, treating her rather roughly, which caused the poor girl to burst into tears. That led to my spouse accusing me of putting work before my little girl. My own feelings of remorse coupled with his rebuke were altogether too much to bear. Still sulking, I brought her downstairs to make her her favourite nightcap.
She was asleep in minutes after finishing the bottle, and I was again able to get back to work. I should have just put her to bed and then got on with my work.
On reflection, I realize I've lost something invaluable and immeasurable and which can never be regained (save with a good deal of hard work): the goodwill of a little girl, thanks to my selfishness and lack of self-control.
I'm ashamed to confess that this is not the first time. If I'm to maintain a close bond with my little girl, I will have to exert greater control over my time and emotions, and learn to welcome her into my world, rather than seeing her desire to be with me as an intrusion.
And you know what's worse?
This would never have happened if I weren't working from home.
So is being a WAHM for me?
Or am I better off demarcating work and home clearly, like I used to as a member of the corporate world?
I wish I knew.
Besides getting sidetracked by all the interesting fluff on the Net, my other big challenge is focussing on the important people in my life, such as my daughter.
Despite starting out with good intentions of devoting evenings exclusively to being with her, I am finding her a distraction and disruption when I need to send out an email or do some work that involves being online.
This evening was a perfect example of a perfect disaster.
3-year-olds are notoriously demanding, and my little girl is no different. While I was engrossed in crafting my most inspired invitation letter ever, she insisted on sitting on my lap (thus blocking my view of the monitor) and repeatedly asking for her milk.
"Wait till I finish this email," said I.
"No...I want it NOW!"
That was the exact same moment the computer chose to crash... just before I pressed "Send"!
I was so furious at the loss of my hard work that I took out my anger on her, treating her rather roughly, which caused the poor girl to burst into tears. That led to my spouse accusing me of putting work before my little girl. My own feelings of remorse coupled with his rebuke were altogether too much to bear. Still sulking, I brought her downstairs to make her her favourite nightcap.
She was asleep in minutes after finishing the bottle, and I was again able to get back to work. I should have just put her to bed and then got on with my work.
On reflection, I realize I've lost something invaluable and immeasurable and which can never be regained (save with a good deal of hard work): the goodwill of a little girl, thanks to my selfishness and lack of self-control.
I'm ashamed to confess that this is not the first time. If I'm to maintain a close bond with my little girl, I will have to exert greater control over my time and emotions, and learn to welcome her into my world, rather than seeing her desire to be with me as an intrusion.
And you know what's worse?
This would never have happened if I weren't working from home.
So is being a WAHM for me?
Or am I better off demarcating work and home clearly, like I used to as a member of the corporate world?
I wish I knew.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
When Being Speechless Is A Blessing
3 days ago, I lost my voice.
That was hard enough, as I had a networking meeting and 1-minute sales presentation to do. I ended up sitting through the session as a passive observer, with the blessings of my mentor.
However, as I was to find out, in life, there is always a reason for the situation we're in, even an unpleasant one.
After the meeting, the team got together to hear out one of the members (let's call her Nelly), who needed a sounding board for her views.
Nelly was troubled over her lack of visible success and lack of sustainable income.
According to my mentor, Nelly's problem was one quite common among small business owners, especially if they had never been in business before.
They start out enthusiastically, thinking they have found the perfect escape from the rigours of the corporate world. However, once they run into obstacles, they give up before they've had a chance to make a breakthrough, and move on to the next venture, and the next, and find the cycle repeating itself.
Nelly was a perfect example. She had left her stressful corporate job to be a home-based masseur. However, she was making barely enough to scrape by, much less supplement the family income. So she ventured into an MLM business, distributing noni juice. But she found the income generated unsatisfactory also. Now she was wondering if she should join a friend who had invited her to market Diamond Energy Water.
Her spouse was losing patience with her lack of focus. He told her he was giving her 6 months to try out the new venture, and if she failed, she would have to return to the corporate world and get a "proper" job.
Her dilemma: Should she even try out the new venture? Was she even suited to the business world? Would she be better off just sticking with any old corporate job that came along?
I say it was just as well I had lost my voice that day. Otherwise, I would have lost the opportunity to really listen (which is very hard for me, because I get sidetracked easily). Everyone had something to say, but the most powerful contribution came from my mentor, who had just one question for Nelly.
"What do you really want for yourself?"
And one solution: "You have to focus."
She went on to dissect Nelly's dilemma. Nelly, she felt, is a visual person (in NLP lingo) who needs to see to believe. She has to learn to do the reverse: to believe that she will see (results, in this case). She also needs to focus on doing one thing well, whether it be massage or selling health products, instead of channelling her energies all over the place.
I felt as if my mentor were speaking to me.
On bad days, I ask myself what I'm doing, throwing away a legal career and trying to eke a living out of writing and career counselling.
Am I cut out for it?
What makes me think I'm good enough that people would want to pay me for my time?
What have I got to offer that others don't?
Am I doing too much?
What if my savings run out before I've established myself?
But I also know this:
If I do not risk everything now and try, I will never know if I could have succeeded or not.
And if I fail, so what? I can always move on to something else.
At worst, if my money runs out, I could go back to the law.
Or some job.
Any job.
Well, almost. :p
That was hard enough, as I had a networking meeting and 1-minute sales presentation to do. I ended up sitting through the session as a passive observer, with the blessings of my mentor.
However, as I was to find out, in life, there is always a reason for the situation we're in, even an unpleasant one.
After the meeting, the team got together to hear out one of the members (let's call her Nelly), who needed a sounding board for her views.
Nelly was troubled over her lack of visible success and lack of sustainable income.
According to my mentor, Nelly's problem was one quite common among small business owners, especially if they had never been in business before.
They start out enthusiastically, thinking they have found the perfect escape from the rigours of the corporate world. However, once they run into obstacles, they give up before they've had a chance to make a breakthrough, and move on to the next venture, and the next, and find the cycle repeating itself.
Nelly was a perfect example. She had left her stressful corporate job to be a home-based masseur. However, she was making barely enough to scrape by, much less supplement the family income. So she ventured into an MLM business, distributing noni juice. But she found the income generated unsatisfactory also. Now she was wondering if she should join a friend who had invited her to market Diamond Energy Water.
Her spouse was losing patience with her lack of focus. He told her he was giving her 6 months to try out the new venture, and if she failed, she would have to return to the corporate world and get a "proper" job.
Her dilemma: Should she even try out the new venture? Was she even suited to the business world? Would she be better off just sticking with any old corporate job that came along?
I say it was just as well I had lost my voice that day. Otherwise, I would have lost the opportunity to really listen (which is very hard for me, because I get sidetracked easily). Everyone had something to say, but the most powerful contribution came from my mentor, who had just one question for Nelly.
"What do you really want for yourself?"
And one solution: "You have to focus."
She went on to dissect Nelly's dilemma. Nelly, she felt, is a visual person (in NLP lingo) who needs to see to believe. She has to learn to do the reverse: to believe that she will see (results, in this case). She also needs to focus on doing one thing well, whether it be massage or selling health products, instead of channelling her energies all over the place.
I felt as if my mentor were speaking to me.
On bad days, I ask myself what I'm doing, throwing away a legal career and trying to eke a living out of writing and career counselling.
Am I cut out for it?
What makes me think I'm good enough that people would want to pay me for my time?
What have I got to offer that others don't?
Am I doing too much?
What if my savings run out before I've established myself?
But I also know this:
If I do not risk everything now and try, I will never know if I could have succeeded or not.
And if I fail, so what? I can always move on to something else.
At worst, if my money runs out, I could go back to the law.
Or some job.
Any job.
Well, almost. :p
Friday, December 16, 2005
A Ray of Hope
I started this morning in a panic, trying to do too many things at once and wondering, "What am I doing with my life?"
I've got so many to-do's on my wish list and not enough discipline to sit down and work out how best to get through them all, or even whether I should get through them all.
Each day's routine is a challenge. What shall I do today?
a) exercise?
b) visit the library?
c) work on the PC?
d) do something different, like go to the beach or the airport?
e) some, all or none of the above??
Is it possible to just be, and not have to worry that I'm wasting my time or making a wrong decision?
Then I have to remind myself: Life is short. Life is unpredictable. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Not when there's bigger stuff out there to worry about.
Just yesterday, we received news that a friend's sister had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She's a couple of years older than I am, a mother of three, and her youngest child is my daughter's age. I can relate to some of that.
Bad news tends to kickstart a mini-epiphany, and I tried to imagine myself in her shoes:
How would I respond?
Would I lose all faith in God?
Would I get depressed, bitter, angry?
How would my husband and little girl manage if Mummy got taken home early?
So our prayers are with my friend's sister and her family.
In the meantime, God has given me a life to live, to serve, to contribute. Not for myself alone, but for the betterment of others. Especially for those who can't, or won't, or don't know how to help themselves.
Like the lady who called just now seeking career advice. A dear friend had suggested she speak with me.
Her problem is not unique. She wants to leave her current organization, but isn't especially keen to join the one that's offered her a position (Strong Push + Weak Pull). She knows she needs a change, but she doesn't want to leave her comfort zone. Sound familiar?
I explained what I could do for her, and we agreed to meet up on Monday morning.
You know what makes me excited? This - knowing that I can really help her by sharing what I've learned from my own career coach, the resources I've investigated, and my personal, unique experience at making the comfort-zone leap.
No need to save the world. It's enough for me to save just ONE individual's self-esteem, and give her the affirmation and confidence she needs to make her own informed decisions.
Cheers!
I've got so many to-do's on my wish list and not enough discipline to sit down and work out how best to get through them all, or even whether I should get through them all.
Each day's routine is a challenge. What shall I do today?
a) exercise?
b) visit the library?
c) work on the PC?
d) do something different, like go to the beach or the airport?
e) some, all or none of the above??
Is it possible to just be, and not have to worry that I'm wasting my time or making a wrong decision?
Then I have to remind myself: Life is short. Life is unpredictable. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Not when there's bigger stuff out there to worry about.
Just yesterday, we received news that a friend's sister had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She's a couple of years older than I am, a mother of three, and her youngest child is my daughter's age. I can relate to some of that.
Bad news tends to kickstart a mini-epiphany, and I tried to imagine myself in her shoes:
How would I respond?
Would I lose all faith in God?
Would I get depressed, bitter, angry?
How would my husband and little girl manage if Mummy got taken home early?
So our prayers are with my friend's sister and her family.
In the meantime, God has given me a life to live, to serve, to contribute. Not for myself alone, but for the betterment of others. Especially for those who can't, or won't, or don't know how to help themselves.
Like the lady who called just now seeking career advice. A dear friend had suggested she speak with me.
Her problem is not unique. She wants to leave her current organization, but isn't especially keen to join the one that's offered her a position (Strong Push + Weak Pull). She knows she needs a change, but she doesn't want to leave her comfort zone. Sound familiar?
I explained what I could do for her, and we agreed to meet up on Monday morning.
You know what makes me excited? This - knowing that I can really help her by sharing what I've learned from my own career coach, the resources I've investigated, and my personal, unique experience at making the comfort-zone leap.
No need to save the world. It's enough for me to save just ONE individual's self-esteem, and give her the affirmation and confidence she needs to make her own informed decisions.
Cheers!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
I Stared My Greatest Fear In The Face...
...and lived to tell the tale!
You know what scares me most? Striking up a conversation with strangers, especially if it's with the intention of influencing them to do something!
Like sharing my faith.
And cold calls for a cause, even a worthy one.
My"face" (very important in the Asian culture!) is the most precious thing in the world and losing it, e.g. by being snubbed or humiliated, would be the ultimate low.
This week though, I put aside my "face" concerns enough to:
1) Chat up a complete stranger while in her shop, and
2) Invite an acquaintance to visit the next meeting of the professional networking association that I belong to.
None of this would have happened if my team had not set an informal target for us to invite 2 persons each to subsequent meetings. After hearing how some members were making cold calls through Yahoo Classifieds and the Yellow Pages, I started feeling the pressure and began running down the names in my mobile address book to see who might likely be interested in attending the meetings.
COUP #1
While window shopping in the area after lunch, my friend and I walked into a shop that screamed NEW KID. There was the telltale Congratulations floral wreath, super-new paintwork and furnishings, and the fact that there was no one in the shop...aside from the owner, who greeted us effusively and appeared to have all the time in the world for us.
As we browsed, the owner struck up a conversation and I distinctly remember her lamenting how tough it is to be a new business owner. That was the cue I needed. I asked, "Would you like to meet other business owners and receive referrals for your business?" I then proceeded to explain what my association did and what it stood for.
The end result was that she said YES to my invitation to our next meeting!
I was so thrilled with the unexpected outcome you would've thought I'd won the national lottery. I could hardly believe someone would just accept my word at face value and agree to do something just because I asked, even though it's something I do all the time when others do the asking.
To ensure she didn't change her mind quickly, I followed up with a text message to her mobile that very afternoon, and she confirmed she would be coming for our meeting.
COUP #2
During coffee with an acquaintance that afternoon, I mentioned my involvement in the networking association. When I mooted the meet-business-owners-to-generate-referrals idea, she looked distinctly interested, and that again resulted in another YES. To make sure she knew we were serious in our networking efforts, I gave her a copy of our standard invitation letter (customised with her personal info) 2 days later when we met again. She looked impressed.
LESSONS LEARNT:
You know what scares me most? Striking up a conversation with strangers, especially if it's with the intention of influencing them to do something!
Like sharing my faith.
And cold calls for a cause, even a worthy one.
My"face" (very important in the Asian culture!) is the most precious thing in the world and losing it, e.g. by being snubbed or humiliated, would be the ultimate low.
This week though, I put aside my "face" concerns enough to:
1) Chat up a complete stranger while in her shop, and
2) Invite an acquaintance to visit the next meeting of the professional networking association that I belong to.
None of this would have happened if my team had not set an informal target for us to invite 2 persons each to subsequent meetings. After hearing how some members were making cold calls through Yahoo Classifieds and the Yellow Pages, I started feeling the pressure and began running down the names in my mobile address book to see who might likely be interested in attending the meetings.
COUP #1
While window shopping in the area after lunch, my friend and I walked into a shop that screamed NEW KID. There was the telltale Congratulations floral wreath, super-new paintwork and furnishings, and the fact that there was no one in the shop...aside from the owner, who greeted us effusively and appeared to have all the time in the world for us.
As we browsed, the owner struck up a conversation and I distinctly remember her lamenting how tough it is to be a new business owner. That was the cue I needed. I asked, "Would you like to meet other business owners and receive referrals for your business?" I then proceeded to explain what my association did and what it stood for.
The end result was that she said YES to my invitation to our next meeting!
I was so thrilled with the unexpected outcome you would've thought I'd won the national lottery. I could hardly believe someone would just accept my word at face value and agree to do something just because I asked, even though it's something I do all the time when others do the asking.
To ensure she didn't change her mind quickly, I followed up with a text message to her mobile that very afternoon, and she confirmed she would be coming for our meeting.
COUP #2
During coffee with an acquaintance that afternoon, I mentioned my involvement in the networking association. When I mooted the meet-business-owners-to-generate-referrals idea, she looked distinctly interested, and that again resulted in another YES. To make sure she knew we were serious in our networking efforts, I gave her a copy of our standard invitation letter (customised with her personal info) 2 days later when we met again. She looked impressed.
LESSONS LEARNT:
- Anticipate the other person's needs, and pitch your case to meet those needs. In the case of the new business owner, she clearly saw the value of exchanging business referrals with other business owners. With my acquaintance who is in the financial planning line, networking is all part of a day's work.
- Just ask. Plan your approach, take a deep breath and just do it. There's no substitute for learning by doing.
- Don't let the contact grow cold. Keep yourself on the other person's radar screen if it's going to be some time before you meet again. Use different media (text messaging, e-mail, phone calls) and vary your content by pitching the subject from different but interesting angles.
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