Every Thu, I had the privilege of sharing the evening with a dozen or so women from my church.

We have been doing 40 Days of Purpose with our pastor's wife, and what a journey it's been.

I have come to appreciate, to crave, the godly fellowship and the sharing of all the women who are at different points in the journey and come with such diverse perspectives and understanding.

Last Thu's session was particularly powerful. We were divided into groups and two others and I shared about how life's circumstances have shaped and refined us for God's glory. I didn't expect to get emotional talking about my childhood and upbringing, but I guess God knew it needed to come out in the way it did. It was a humbling moment.

I was reminded of how far I've come and how I am who I am now because of, not in spite of, what I've had to endure on the way here.

Wish List

This is going to be one of those weeks.

Workshops this Mon and next, and right in the middle of it, a planning meeting with my boss and our Church Council chairperson to make sure we're on the same page with regards to formatting of our first-ever Church Annual Report.

I find myself yearning for solitude so I can reflect, prepare and be in my ideal state for the workshop.

Yet there is so much else that's a part of our family routine that has to be attended to.

In my ideal life, I would like a tingkat dinner service...like the one I saw advertised in The Senior newspaper yesterday.
While we're at it, a cleaner to do my ironing, kitchen and bathrooms once a week would be nice too...
And a gardener to maintain the nature strip and backyard...

There, I've said it.

6 Days to the Next Workshop

The first workshop is over and am now gearing up for the next one, Goal Setting Secrets for Success.

Very glad to have my monthly accountability session with Kelly-Anne last night.
She got me to set five goals for the coming month:

• Document how I will respond to each lead/enquiry that comes in from a different source
• Ring the people who came for the workshop, thank them for coming, ask four specific questions to get feedback
• Ring the individual who says he's coming for next Monday's workshop and ask if he's still bringing his friend(s)
• Think about what paid workshops I will deliver, how I will promote them and what I will charge
• Follow up on the 2 leads that expressed interest but haven't come back with a decision

The challenge with these workshops has been getting the right people to come. There are so many variables: Timing, Interest, Other Commitments, Fatigue, Lack of Motivation...

My prayer is that the workshops will draw those people who will gain most from the learning, are ready to take action in their own lives and are ready to light the way by sharing with someone else what they've learned.

This morning, I picked up the phone and rang two of the attendees. It felt awkward as it's been 8 days since the workshop and people quickly forget most of what they learn unless it's reinforced. Am grateful that they took the time to look at their notes and refresh their memory. In the process, I gained some valuable feedback. One person asked if I planned to conduct evening workshops. I said that's something to work on for the near future and I would definitely let her know if I planned to do so.

Deep and Meaningfuls

I love Deep and Meaningful conversations.

The kind where people let go of their fears and just dare to be themselves. Where they aren't afraid to have shiny eyes while talking to you, or to admit that their lives aren't fantastic right now.

I had one such D+M last Friday when Beth's ex-school friend's mum invited her over for a play date.

I salute her courage and ask God's blessings on her life and for the opportunity to lead her into a deeper conversation about faith.

Sowing Ripples

This morning, I bumped into a school mum who attended my workshop yesterday.

She told me the workshop was "good". I renewed my offer of a coffee chat to discover her issues around career, and she promised she would talk to me about it real soon.

While shopping at the Plaza, I met a lovely lady from my church who also had been at the workshop.

She was brimming with such joy and renewed purpose and looked like she was carrying herself a bit taller and straighter. She had been feeling low because of age (she's in her 70s) and others' expectations and her own sense that she has outlived her usefulness. She says what she learned yesterday has given her a sense of hope and she can now see the light at the end of the tunnel.

First Word-of-Mouth Referral

Received a surprise email on Friday from someone I coached last year.

Her hubby is looking to be coached and she asked if she could pass on my details to him.
What an honor.

My mentor Alice says when she started building her coaching practice, it was purely by word of mouth.

The really interesting thing is that I'm not even actively looking for private clients as my focus is on preparing for and running the Empowered Women workshops.

Wonder if there is a correlation somehow?

The Purpose Driven Life...Again

It must be nearly 10 years since I first studied The Purpose Driven Life.

I still remember how the first line hit me between the eyes - "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU."

I mean, I knew life isn't about me. But to have someone else say that to me...was pretty confronting.

Still is.

Especially when I'm in the zone and feeling like everything's going my way because of all the amazing new knowledge I'm gaining around coaching and human excellence.

To be reminded that God is ultimately sovereign and that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom (not awareness, not our limitless potential, not universal laws of attraction and success) is - humbling.

13 ladies from HXUC and I have committed to studying TPDL together with our pastor's wife facilitating. We meet once a week on Thu evenings to watch the DVD and discuss what God has taught us during the week.

I am finding it a bit of a struggle to get beneath the surface of what I already know and have experienced. It seemed easier the first time.

I listen to some of the ladies share about their TPDL learnings and I get the sense that God is actively at work in their lives. It's inspiring and at the same time I'm feeling left out because nothing seems to be happening in mine.

Effortless and Authentic Rapport Building for Introverts

For a long time, I bought into the belief that it's hard for introverts to relate to people, especially people they don't know.

In the last couple of days, I have busted that myth not once but TWICE.

On Friday, I was at Dale Beaumont and Dr John Demartini's seminar at the Melbourne Convention Centre. I went with an open heart to learn and to engage with anyone who might cross my path.

The whole morning, I felt a little left out because the lady on my left seemed to click so well with the lady on her left, and the lady on my right discovered a fellow Demartini fan in the guy on her right. Everyone seemed to have someone to talk with except me.

Yet when lunchtime came, I found myself saying to the lady on my right, "So where do you plan to do lunch?"

And she mentioned a couple of places around the corner and ended with, "Why don't you just follow me?"

Lunchtime became such a gift because I discovered how much we had in common, which made conversation easy and effortless.

I even built rapport with the guy at the counter and discovered he's Malaysian and has been in AUS for just 6 months. When he brought our food, I thanked him with "Terima Kasih", which tickled my lunch partner because she's been to Bali and she says everyone goes "Terima Kasih" all the time.

Yesterday, while waiting for Beth to finish her drum class, a young guy with a guitar came in. He sat down near me and we made eye contact. Quite extraordinary for me because I don't usually look strangers in the eye like that. But we did.

And proceeded to have the most delightful conversation about guitar, the gigs he does when he's not being an IT guy, how the teenage girl in the guitar class puts him to shame with her amazing rendition of Sweet Home Alabama.

At the end of our little chat, he introduced himself and asked me my name.

Simple ordinary and unexpected occasions like this, I'm discovering, are perfect for practising rapport building skills and expanding my comfort zone. You never know when you'll make a new friend.

Ask and you shall receive

How many times have I held back on what I wanted because I didn't dare to ask?

How many times have I let precious opportunities slip away because I was afraid the answer might be no?

Yesterday, I took my fear in hand...and asked.

I ASKED the receptionist at Wyndham Vale CLC if she would accept flyers for my March workshops at Tarneit CLC.

She got up from her seat, took my flyers and went over to the table where brochures and flyers are laid out for the people to browse, and personally found a spot for them.

I couldn't resist going past the table afterwards to see for myself that my flyers were there.

Here's a quick snap.

I ASKED the founder of Beth's drum school if the school's parents might benefit from knowing about my workshops.

His response: "Sure, go ahead! We've got 200 families. If you want to advertise something, just go for it."

I got Beth to pin up the flyer for me on USM's notice board, right in between their band workshop registration form and a flyer of Lauren Elizabeth's upcoming gig in St Kilda.


I ASKED Beth's piano teacher if she would like some flyers for the parents of her students, so they would have something different to read while waiting. She said sure, and yesterday I handed her 20 flyers.

And all because I said yes to myself and worked out how, backed myself to the hilt, and let my desire be greater than my fear - and asked.

What would/would not have happened if I hadn't asked?

Happy Dance

Two reasons to shout "TGIF!" today...

• Tarneit Community Learning Centre emailed to say they have put up my flyer on their notice board. Also, they are happy for me to pop by any time during office hours to tour the place and get a feel of the room where I will be conducting the workshops.
• Received an email enquiry through my website. The writer is based in Brisbane and going through a career change. Have sent her Client Profile and list of available time slots for the initial call.

Cool Stats

Did a quick check-in on my stats for this month and loved what's showing up.

Even better, there's been a constant stream of new leads from my free report download "Top Five Principles For Sustainable Success" on the website.

Next, to figure out how best to engage these leads and convert them.

So excited last night I couldn't sleep.

Will you believe me if I tell you I was kept awake visualizing myself actually delivering my workshop, engaging the participants, using all my coaching tools, fielding questions, doing the open/close, handing out the contact form (it will have four columns: name, email address, space for participants to write what topics interest them, I forget what the last one was...), inviting people to bring their friends to the next workshop, having the event professionally videoed and producing my first DVD product for sale...

It was like watching myself in a movie starring myself. Exactly what we've been taught to do in NLP. I was seeing/hearing/feeling exactly everything as if it was already taking place.

Woke up with prominent eye bags and a feeling of fatigue. Not the best way to prepare for our 9 am meeting with the Sunday School leadership team.

And yet, such a sense of anticipation too, to know - in advance, at an unconscious level - that I CAN DO THIS.

Why We Can Handle Anything

1 Corinthians 10:13

The Message (MSG)

¹³No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.

Say Yes, Then Work Out How

Took to heart Brendon Burchard's teaching on productivity and handling emails.

Today's focus was on sending out action emails to create connections and initiate action that will help me move a step closer to my 2012 goals.

Said yes to Mark E/DDT's request that I assist my pastor with the communications plan for our new church.

Emailed Council's Biz Devt Officer, whom I met last year, to suggest several ways ATC can partner with Council this year on the ideas that surfaced in the Dec 2011 Biz Breakfast Business Leaders' Forum.

Wrote a character reference for a sister who is saying yes to God's call on her life to be an advocate/speaker/fundraiser for a Christian charity that rescues girls caught up in the sex trade.

Love love love love LOVE this!

Alice is the NLP trainer I studied under in Nov/Dec 2011 and the epitome of the professional, inspirational trainer I aspire to be...

Had a super Happy New Year/catch-up chat with my best friend in SG that went from around midnight to one plus in the morning.

A meaningful phone conversation. It's the next best thing to being there in person.

Had a fantastic evening at C's place last night.

While Calvin, C's hubby and their boys and our girls had a ball in the toy room, C and I talked about her goals for 2012. The importance of the 'why'. How to ensure her goals don't go the way of most New Year's resolutions.

At the end of the two hours, I showed her what the available options were and took her through each of them. She asked how much private coaching would cost and I named the figure.

Speaking out my value with confidence reinforced my perception of what my work is all about. Perception is reality. Whatever we name takes on a life of its own, for good or ill. So why not speak what adds to the quality of life and choices of others?

I have now completed two Make 2012 Your Best Year Yet presentations, which means I am halfway through the challenge my NLP trainer Alice set us.

In Jan, I will do at least one more free workshop, maybe at the Plaza library and/or Point Cook library.

Then on to the next phase of my 2012 one-to-many strategy...

Paid workshops. Small group parent coaching. Private coaching.

A month ago, I was wondering how I would fit it all in: hosting 3 groups of visitors from SG who were to be our house guests over a period of 3 weeks, which overlapped with my commitment to crew at the Dec Intake weekend at TCI and my 7-day NLP Practitioner training.

Tomorrow, the last of the visitors goes home.

And I managed to keep faith with my commitments.

The past 3 weeks have delivered so many valuable lessons about integrity, serving, generosity, behavioural flexibility, being true to self...

I've made new friends through my NLP training and crewing with TCI, and I know our lives will continue to intersect in meaningful ways.

Our house has gone strangely quiet, the Christmas tree and presents have been sorted, and we are looking forward to a well-deserved break. The kids are revelling in sleep-ins, play dates and fond memories of our visitors, especially their cousin Chloe. The most memorable time for the girls is when she came to stay.

Put two four year-old girls together and imagine the amount of mischief and joyful noise...

Miss J keeps wanting to go to SG to visit Chloe, while Chloe's mum tells us she wants to come back to Aus, haha. We are tentatively planning to holiday together next year or 2013.

On Sat night, our two families got together on Skype and it was hilarious watching the two girls 'messaging' each other - with a good deal of help from the mums. "How to spell ____?" And so on.

HXUC held church council elections on 13 Nov and I am now Secretary.

It's v strange how it happened.

My good friend Kat nominated for the Asst Sec position, and asked if I would consider being Sec.

I had been dead set against being considered for CC because I heartily disapprove of meetings. Meetings are the worst time wasters, and don't I have enough on my plate with coaching triads, webinars, p/t work and ferrying the girls to and from school and after-school activities?

But when a respected brother who had nominated for Treasurer announced, "I propose Serena Tan for Secretary", and someone else said, "I second", I had to quickly decide.

I turned to confer with hubby. As usual, he said it was my decision to make. How helpful is that?!

I decided - against all logic and reason - to say yes. [Say Yes, Then Work Out How is one of our coaching mantras.]

Afterwards, my boss asked if I had felt "ambushed".

I reframed it to him (and myself) thus: secretarial work is an extension of the admin work I'm already doing for HXUC. It's something I can do. And it involves minute taking and dissemination once a month (or less, if my boss has his way and meetings are held only six times a year).

So...one more facet of my post-migration identity falls into place.

Am grateful for the opportunity to step outside my comfort zone this week.

First, our regular house guest Annie brought her friend C for the trip. Have surprised myself by stepping easily into the role of hostess and helping her settle in and get acquainted with our household routine. It certainly helps that C is one of those very easygoing types who prefer following to leading.

My inner coach has also stepped up to the plate, noticing things C says, how she says them, asking for clarification, always curious, non-judging and ready to challenge surface comments for the intent behind them. Annie has commented that I've asked some very interesting questions.

Second...since starting J at Paul Sadler, I've yet to form a bond with any of the mums there. They all seem to know each other and to stay in their little cliques. The weekly routine of meet-and-greet at the pool can make the quieter ones feel left out.

But today, I finally met someone I could click with.

A Lebanese mum whose youngest daughter joined J's class for a make-up lesson. She sat two seats away from me, and when our eyes met, she smiled. That gave me the courage to smile back and initiate conversation.

Before I knew it, we were chatting easily about school, daycare, raising teen and pre-teen daughters, strict moral and parenting standards, languages...The stuff parents bond readily over.

I looked over at J and her classmates in the pool...and discovered she was chatting with my new friend's daughter. Felt so proud of J and so in awe. At her age, I would never have dared to talk to someone I'd never met. And there they were, chatting naturally like they were already friends.

Don't know if I'll ever see the family again, but one thing's for sure. When we do, we'll just take up the thread of the conversation and carry on from where we paused.

And it'll be effortless.