More Drama

Just when I thought I'd settled the biggest problem in the migration maze, I landed myself in another. Apparently, my mum didn't take too well to the news despite what she said over the phone. The very next day, I received 2 calls from Aunty KS to say mum was upset, weepy, felt we were abandoning her to an old folks' home, how could I do this after all she'd sacrificed to bring me up...

Looking back, I ought not to have been surprised, but still, it was a shock to hear Aunty KS retell it. Most of all, I felt like I had been assaulted and that I stood accused of that most heinous Asian sin - lack of filial piety, an emotionally charged issue with complex multiple layers and nuances.

Amongst other things, Aunty KS asked if I was trying to distance myself from my mum (??); suggested that giving 2 months' notice was quite inconsiderate (!!); asked me to imagine Beth doing the same to me; advised me to remember the 10 Commandments, particularly the one that says honour your mother (!!!); recommended that I keep communication lines open by visiting mum and having her over more often over the next 2 months.

I stewed over the conversation that night and Sunday morning (Beth had fever so we stayed home), and finally distilled my thought processes into a 4,000+ word letter which I spent the entire afternoon crafting and recrafting before I sent it by email to Aunty KS, Uncle Kenneth & his wife, with blind copies to hubby and my cousin in MEL. After that, I felt as if I'd unloaded a lifetime of frustration, bitterness, anger and regret - for a while anyway.

Today, I received touching responses from hubby and Uncle K. Thankfully, both expressed support and encouragement. Uncle K even offered help with accommodation and a possible offer of employment in his company (a win-win, he explained, as he needed to hire at least 1 Ozzie or PR to qualify for a business visa). We are meeting up soon to discuss the details.

So a little bit of good has come out of the whole sorry mess, for which I'm thankful to God. It seems to me that after we committed the migration maze into His hands and sought His direction, things started falling in place:

1. We've already had an initial discussion with the movers.
2. I've made some progress with the packing and sorting.
3. Hubby plans to scrap the car by the end of July, and to inform his boss this evening of his intention to resign.
4. My cousin in MEL has offered to help us with transport when we arrive, and to lend us her car when she goes off to the States for a conference.
5. We located affordable temp accommodation (hostel) in MEL CBD, which can be our base while we're househunting and before our things arrive from SIN.
6. We're keeping a lookout for airfares (the cheapest one-way ticket so far is Qantas which flies direct for 7 hrs and costs S$441, ex-taxes).
7. Advice is pouring in from friends in MEL on cost of living, whether to ship our fridge & washing machine (no), how to transport our dog (pet remover).
8. My BIL is renovating his place and will need a place to stay for a while, which is perfect for us as he can move into our place first, stay as long as he likes before helping us rent it out. That would also give us time to find permanent accommodation so that our shippers can do a door-to-door delivery instead of storing our goods for an indefinite period at Port Melb.

What has meant most to me has been the support of our cell group, who has been praying for us; our friend Annie Soh, who not only empathizes with me re my unresolved conflict with my mum and encouraged me to stand firm, but also connected us to her friend Freddy in MEL (who in turn has been most open and generous with info and tips); my cousin in MEL, who helped us shortlist suitable suburbs and hospitals; my BIL who reckons my in-laws would have given us their blessings, even though MIL would have cried; and of course Uncle K.

God bless all these fine folk for their unstinting encouragement!