Believe It... or Don't

Many of us have limiting beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities. They lurk there, in the dark crannies of our minds, just waiting to sabotage some of our best efforts.

How many times do we have success after success, until WHAM, something happens in our mental processes which then prevents us moving in that same direction. The next step is often to give up. It seems that no matter how hard I try, something is blocking me, and preventing me from getting what I want in my life.

Of course, some times this happens because my goal setting is not clear and precise. I might have goals that are dependent on another person, or other factors over which I have no control.

Sometimes it might be because unconsciously I find my present situation more congenial than the possible impending changes that are potentially just over the horizon. What is fairly predictable is that if I think I can't do something, then I can't.

The person who says I can and the person who says I can't are both right. Whatever I think about myself, I will find there is evidence to support it.

Exploring Beliefs

Typically, beliefs are in place before the behaviour occurs. A person is going to believe that he or she can do something before he or she actually goes to do it. Commitment occurs, and then the brain goes through the feedback mechanisms to guide behaviour into the activity.

Beliefs are only a map. They are only a partial representation of the territory. Therefore, a well-formed belief is not going to be based on the statistics available to support it, rather on primarily one factor: how well it serves the individual.

Our beliefs are very powerful, helping us to get a sense of certainty and direction in an unpredictable world. They are so powerful, in fact, that we sometimes don't remember that they're not necessarily 'true'.

At some point in our lives our beliefs might have been useful. However, many beliefs are context dependent. When the context changes, they can become limiting beliefs. "Crossing the road is too dangerous" was a useful belief when I was a small child. However, now I am an adult, I need to modify that belief, or ditch it altogether. It is not useful for me, as an adult, to be stuck on the side of the road, unable to cross because of a belief I had instilled into me as a child.

As coaches, we meet limiting beliefs in many people, even ourselves! One way forward is to use a question from the NLP skill-set: "How do you know that?" Or "How do I know that?"

This will help to discover there is good evidence for maintaining the belief, or not enough evidence to make it worthwhile sustaining it.

If I find beliefs that are no longer useful, then it is good practice to change them or replace them with some beliefs that will strengthen me. Like goals, it is most useful to write them down, and write them down in a positive way.

I once had a mentor who taught me 'fake it until you make it'. Milton Erickson, an extraordinary communicator and therapist, used to say "You can pretend anything and master it."

So the next step is to act as if the new positive belief is true. Take courage as you explore (and change?) your limiting beliefs!

Rick Bowie is a professional Life Coach and LCI Graduate who specialises in NLP, Conflict Management and Public Speaking. To find out more about Rick's qualifications and services, visit his Find A Coach profile.