I seem to be doing nothing right these days.
Despite being on a subsistence allowance from my kind hubby and despite the dwindling balance in my savings account, I have persistently (or suicidally I should say) made purchasing decisions that I later regret.
Case in point: On Monday, I bought an ACER notebook at $2.5k from an electronics superstore, despite knowing that Dell offers notebooks at $2k and under on its website.
My justification? I was desperate. My PC had crashed and I needed a notebook to keep up with emails and possible business opportunities.
My hubby tried to console me by pointing out that you can't compare a Dell with an ACER; the latter comes with a CrystalBrite screen and is better for the eyes. All I can think of is that I could have saved myself $500 at least...
Another case in point:
I attended a dinner gathering tonight with classmates from a course I graduated from in October, without considering the impact on my pocket. The dinner (the main feature of which was chili crab, which I don't even eat as I've eczema and am allergic to crabs) came up to $40 per pax.
My reason for attending? Because I felt bad about saying no, and so I "persuaded" myself that it was important to network and introduce my new writing business to my classmates. I ended up doing a rather feeble presentation of my business and felt all the while that I was being a fraud as I could not even articulate my business convincingly.
No wonder Jesus said we cannot serve God and Mammon. The related proverb about money being a good servant and a bad master is probably true for me too.
Perhaps I've got it all wrong and need to get back to fundamentals, to "seek first the kingdom of GOD, and all these things (money? influence? success?) shall be added unto you".
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