Exploring Career Options

A most unexpected career option has popped up on my radar.

In my subconscious, I almost hoped I wouldn't get through the first stage so I could avoid having to perform at the audition (the final step).

I do so hate the stress of performance anxiety, the pressure of knowing my playing was never the best even when I was taking exams 18 years ago, and the feeling of failure and rejection that haunts me when my fingers stumble.

But the other half of me - my competitive, closet risk-taker half - wants to know if I can go all the way with the recruitment process.

The only way to satisfy this curiosity is to assume the best: imagine success, prepare like I'm going to make it, and just throw in everything I've got.

I knew there was a purpose for my constant fascination with all that visualization and affirmation self-help stuff.

After the initial phone interview, I thought I'd been written off because they were supposed to call me by 16 Oct if I'd made it through to the next stage, and the phone was silent all day.

Then the following Mon, I got a call asking me to please book in for the group interview on 29 Oct.

I was in shock, and I think I didn't sound as enthusiastic as I should have.

I scrambled to reach hubby at his office to discuss options. 29 Oct is a school day and also when J is home with me. I emailed my daughter's music teacher for ideas.

That is, instead of responding consciously, I reacted emotionally.

My sweet hubby offered to take the day off so he could accompany me to the interview location (seeing as I am so navigationally challenged) and entertain J while I go for my first job interview in, what, 8 years?

In the weeks since I first decided to apply for the job, I've shortlisted the pieces for the audition and practised desperately, trying to recapture the level of playing that enabled me to obtain my ATCL.

I tell you, it's hard work.

But it's also exhilarating because with each session, my fingers remember a bit more. It's like driving along a familiar motorway. Sometimes you go into autopilot mode, which is a nice break.

I've no idea how to prepare for the interview.

But I do know one thing: for every door that closes, a window opens.

"All things work together for them that love God, for them that are called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28

The Power Of Vision Boards

I am reading The Answer: Grow Any Business, Achieve Financial Freedom, and Live an Extraordinary Lifeand have started putting together my own vision boards.

A vision board, also called a dream board, is a collage of powerful words and images that evoke and reflect your dreams, goals and vision for your life/business/career/relationships/anything really.

Authors John Assaraf and Murray Smith describe the vision board as "an especially powerful tool for imprinting your aspirations on your nonconscious brain", or more succinctly, "designing your future". (Love that phrase!)

You can see sample vision boards at www.johnassaraf.com, including a very cool one made up for Barack Obama when he was campaigning for the Democratic Party nomination. (Look where it got him!)

I decided to try my hand at crafting a vision board or two.

So now I've got one for my dream home (the one with the polished floorboards, views of the sea, timber slatted backyard fence and decked all-weather alfresco area).

And one for my life/work.

My 7 y.o. says she's going to create a vision board for herself too. :-)

Putting Natural Selling Principles To Work

I have been listening to Michael Oliver's audio book How To Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety Or Losing Your Friends! in the car for the past 3 months.

I love how he teaches people in the network marketing business to listen, ask the right questions, and act from a desire to help. His approach works in any situation where you are having a conversation with someone; you don't have to be in a sales job to benefit from his excellent book.

Just this morning, I put myself out there (me, the confirmed introvert!) and invited 3 friends to a Learning Ladder home party.

Now, even though I have a network marketing business myself, I have been holding back on marketing it just because I am sales-shy and can't bring myself to talk to anyone about what I do. I just fear rejection so much and take it really hard when someone says no.

Michael Oliver says we should approach NM with the idea of helping others solve their problem. First, find out if there is a problem. If there isn't, there's nothing for me to do. Second, find out how much pain/discomfort the other person is because of the problem. If it's not bothering them enough that they are open to changing their situation, there's nothing for me to do.

Only when there is a problem and the other person is willing to take action can we look at how my solution might help.

Again, there is no guarantee. My solution might not be right for them, in which case there is nothing for me to do, and I move on.

When you look at NM like this, it really makes it more doable and less of a personal rejection risk.

My own encounter with Natural Selling began yesterday when I sounded out one of the ladies, whose son is Beth's classmate, and she said she was interested in coming along for the party. I showed her the catalogue and explained how Beth loved so many of the books and games and possibly the kids in the class would like them too. I also talked about how the quality of the products was so much better and the variety wider than what could be found in the shops.

This morning, I mentioned the home party to my reading partner. She said it sounded like a really good idea and could she bring along some nibbles so I didn't have to provide everything as I was already opening up my house!

As we were walking to the admin office, we met the other 2 ladies, one of whom is the friend I spoke with yesterday.

So there were 4 of us chatting in the playground. When the right moment came, I brought up the home party. Now 2 of them knew about it and the third was hearing it for the first time.

And they all said YES.

It was the easiest "pitch" I'd ever made, which almost makes me wish I were the LL presenter instead of just the hostess! :-)

Now to get to work on my organics biz...

I Feel Strong When...

I have been devouring Marcus Buckingham's strengths-based books and raving about them to readers of my careers website.

One of the activities he recommends in Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance is called a Strength Statement Card.

It's a great way to capture, clarify and confirm your strengths.

For instance, one of his strength statements says: "I feel strong when...I present, but only to a large group of people, on a subject I know a lot about, when I'm completely prepared, and when I know my presentation will further a mission."

The statement may mean nothing to anyone who reads it, but it means a lot to the creator, because it tells him exactly what makes him excel at his work.

Just yesterday, I had an extraordinary moment of strength while chatting with a friend's cousin. The cousin is here on holiday from Sg, and I soon discovered we had plenty in common. That made it easy to strike up a conversation.

Legal background.
Gave up full-time work to focus on her child's education and wellbeing.
Accustomed to Sg lifestyle of ready support from extended family and domestic help.
Struggling with the Big Decision:
Should she or should she not give up her comfortable Sg lifestyle to migrate to Aus?
What if things don't work out?
What if she can't get a job in Aus?

I sensed an immediate connection and a strong sense that she was bursting to tell someone all those things. And I happened to be there at the right place and the right time.

Synchronicity.

We chatted a bit and I shared my two cents' worth. What I particularly remember is a moment when I said (and I don't even know why I said it, and it certainly wasn't a sentiment I had ever expressed before) - "Singaporeans will thrive anywhere in the world. We've got a lot of positive traits and a good work ethic" etc etc.

My conversation partner said she was glad to hear me say all that.

Today, I heard from my friend that after talking to me, her cousin (who has held Aus PR for the past 15 years but has continually put off uprooting) is now a little more receptive to the idea of migrating to Aus.

How does that make me feel?

I guess you could say it makes me smile. :-)

Not because the outcome of her cousin's decision making makes a difference to me. It is after all a huge decision that she must arrive at and persuade herself of when she has made it. But simply because it confirmed what I'd already sensed while talking with her: there is a power that shines forth when I speak my truth from my heart.

So if I can distill down that act and the feeling into a strength statement, it would look like this (in very rough form):

I feel strong when...
I talk with someone who is contemplating or seeking change in her way of living, and I offer a thought, a personal truth or my perspective in a way that powerfully moves her to make a decision and to move forward and begin to live according to her new choices.

Good Advice For VCE Students And All Of Us

Another fantastic insight from the school newsletter this week:

"From my experience, life often opens up opportunities and outcomes in line with your expectations.

A prayerful attitude of expectation is unstoppable.

Why don't you test this yourself? In prayer ask for the best situations you desire, expecting the best of everything leading up to the exams: a calm and peaceful home life, the best health and energy levels, the best productive study time, the best feeling of peace and confidence on exam day, the best interactions with friends.

You will be surprised with the outcomes, especially if you give your very best to others in every situation as well."

How To Survive In Times Of Testing

A dear sister recently shared with me the following inspirational text, which really helped her through a prolonged period of testing and grief:

TRUST in His timing
RELY on His promises
WAIT for His answers
BELIEVE in His miracles
REJOICE in His goodness
RELAX in His presence.

Feng Shui and the Christian

This post is inspired by some material I received last night on Diamond Feng Shui, which you can read about here if you are interested.

Feng Shui (风水), which in Chinese means "wind water", is the ancient art of living in harmony with your physical environment. The Chinese believe that how you position the rooms in your house (even the facing of your doorway) and how you align your workspace affects your health, relationships, prosperity and how well you do in your career.

As a Singaporean Chinese, I grew up hearing my aunts insist that when you buy a house, you must make sure there isn't running water in front of your house (your luck will flow away).

I have a Malaysian friend who not too long ago managed to diagnose her friend's family problems - without having been told what they were - the minute she stepped through the door of the friend's house. Apparently, the master bedroom was near the entrance (as contemporary Aussie floorplans tend to be), there was a spiral staircase right in the centre of the foyer as you entered, there was an empty bedroom directly above the kitchen that had its windows permanently shut, etc etc.

I listened with fascination as my friend explained why all these living arrangements were incompatible with family harmony, finances and career progress. Her friend took her advice to heart and eventually sold up and moved out of the house.

Feng shui has become very popular in the West and is increasingly touted as a means of attaining or increasing one's health, wealth and success.

As a student of personal development and a Christian, I constantly ask myself if what I am learning is compatible with my faith. Is it wrong to observe and apply natural laws that ultimately were made by God?

If the position of my bed does in fact disrupt the energy and harmony of my marriage relationship, why wouldn't I reposition it?

If painting my wall a certain colour would encourage the inflow of money, why wouldn't I do it?

Those are all things I already desire: a loving relationship with my husband, more money so that I have the freedom to choose how I work without being tied down by I-need-money-to-pay-bills pressure.

If that's all it takes - moving things around the house - it doesn't seem too much to ask. After all, my understanding and knowledge are limited. Why not take advantage of someone else's wisdom, especially if that wisdom is thousands of years old and has proven beneficial for other people?

The tricky part comes, I think, when we give full credit to the Creation but forget to acknowledge the Creator.

And that is where most personal development practices and philosophies differ from the Christian faith.

Gurus like to talk about the laws of the universe, the Law of Attraction, natural laws etc and to persuade us to believe that the Universe wants us to succeed and is waiting to give us good things.

Well, the Universe as I know it is also a created thing. It did not come from nowhere. Its source is God. It deserves no more adulation and recognition than a beautiful flower or painting. It's like saying the Mona Lisa is one of the finest works of art of all time - and stopping there.

The Mona Lisa is the work of a person. And the Universe is the work of God.

The laws of energy or qi ( 气). The Law of Attraction. The laws of the Universe. All these are but human observations and interpretations of what God put in place at the beginning when he made the heavens and the earth.

During the time of Daniel the prophet, there were wise men and astrologers in King Nebuchadnezzar's palace. But none could equal the ability of Daniel. Not only could he interpret the king's dream, he could tell the king what that dream was. All the other wise men operated on the basis of "tell me your dream, and I will tell you what it means".

Daniel's ability did not come from himself, but from God. He was trying to save himself and the other wise men from an unfair execution. So he specifically asked God for the wisdom to know the king's dream and the meaning of it - and God honoured his request. Daniel made it very clear to the king that his special ability came from God. He gave God all the glory. He did not attribute his success to the stars or to himself.

Because it was so obvious that no one else in all the kingdom could match Daniel's supernatural ability, the king had no hesitation in accepting that Daniel's God was superior to all other gods. So in staying true to God and acknowledging His sovereignty and power, Daniel was materially rewarded.

So back to the question: can a Christian believe and practise the natural laws put in place by God?

I think the answer is yes, but the Christian has to tread very carefully.

As long as the Christian gives God the glory as Creator, He can enjoy and partake of the beauty, abundance and richness of Creation and all its amazing benefits. He can learn about the healing properties of herbs to improve his health and the health of loved ones. He can study those who are successful at what they do and who live inspired, fulfilling lives of service to others. He can study feng shui and how it affects his relationships, career and finances.

But he must never confuse the Creator with the created and fall into the delusion that he is the master of his own destiny and the author of his life script.

In a very limited sense, he is those things. Day to day, he makes choices that lead him in a certain direction and ultimately shape his life course.

But over and above all these, God is directing and shaping his course. God already knows what will happen next. If a person does not acknowledge God's role in his life and understand that he too is but part of Creation and his life is not his own, he is misguided.

This is a hard truth for the pre-Christian to accept. We would rather believe that we are the masters of our own destiny and that we can create the future we want.

Me?

Having seen the outcomes of some of my decisions and choices, I am glad - relieved - that it is not entirely up to me to determine my future. I would only make a hash of it. Either by being too much of something, or too little. My ego would get in the way. My lack of knowledge would trip me up. My fears would hold me back. In the end, I would be going forward and backward but making no real progress.

At the most, I am but a co-creator alongside God, in those situations where He graciously permits me to participate (like motherhood and childbirth).

And at the other end of the spectrum, I am one of His created. Made in His image and likeness, but a flawed representation in need of regular rescue and touch-ups.

Thank God for that.

When You Feel Demotivated

This fantastic extract came to me on a day when I was feeling a bit low in spirits and questioning my credibility as a coach...

From the Coaching Compass newsletter

Remember why you started on the path that you have chosen for yourself. Even if you are not quite to the point you want to be, enjoy your daily progress. Honor and even celebrate where you are right now. If you do not have fun with the steps you take forward, what is the point of continuing?

You will not be 100% complete with a goal if, at one time, you did not finish the first 25% of it. Embrace the plateaus of accomplishment. These can be natural resting spots. Do not confuse your current location on the path with your intended destination. This will only cause unnecessary stress because you are not there yet.

Keep moving in the direction of goals, and enjoy the journey. You will be there before you know it!

What Gets You Fired Up?

Was having a dialogue with someone about what fires her up and she said something really interesting.

She was talking about how she doesn't mind house chores BUT if the house is in a sad state and needing a lot of work to get it up to decent standard, she would be less motivated to clean it than if it were already in acceptable condition and all she had to do was continue maintaining it.

It takes less effort to maintain than to start again.

I guess the same principle applies to how motivated we feel about the projects we take on and the goals we set ourselves.

So the big question is...

If you are currently not in a good place in your career, how do you get to a place where you are ready, willing and able to commit to making that positive decision or critical next step that will take your career closer to your dream?

How Valuable Is Your Breath?

Chatting with a sister in Christ, I was struck by the way she interpreted the Chinese phrase 争一口气 (literally, to seize or gain a breath). The phrase is usually used to denote someone fighting to win because of a strong sense of personal pride. They want to have the last word, to be able to say to others, "See? I did it! I won!"

The desire to win at all costs is at the core of many personal and interpersonal problems. When we refuse to acknowledge our limitations or to be gracious enough to forgive another's failings because it might make us look like losers, we are bowing to the sin of self-reliance and pride.

Where does our existence come from? Not from ourselves. We live by the grace and will of God, who breathed life into Adam and Eve and who by His will sustains us. So while we strive and worry and seek answers to life's problems, we forget that our very beings are in the hands of Another who is far greater in wisdom and power.

Even our very breaths are on loan from our Creator. Should He decide to suspend our breathing ability for just a minute, our lives would instantly be snuffed out.

When we remember from where we come and to Whom we belong, it puts things in their proper perspective and we are encouraged to cease our endless, fruitless striving for material advancement and possessions.

The Surgeon

Reflecting on his recent experience on the operating table, my pastor had this to say in his latest bulletin message:

When you get yourself to the point where you accept that you need something to be done to improve your life, it is all pretty plain sailing as long as you are prepared to trust.

When it comes to the Divine Trinity operating on us, ... we are all too reluctant and untrusting of what God might do...

Imagine what it would have been like if I had sat up and told the surgeon what to do to my leg... My job in this whole process...was to relax and receive.

Why are we so reluctant to allow God this sort of prominence and power in our lives, especially when unlike the hospital system, the Surgeon has already paid the bill through Jesus Christ?

Thought Of The Day: The Value Of Face Value

"Rightly or wrongly people assume you are qualified at what you do."

This came out of a coaching newsletter that I subscribe to.

The writer took the words right out of my mouth.

Since I changed careers 4 years ago, I have found this line particularly true.

When I declared to complete strangers that I was a writer, no one asked me where I got my writing credentials or how dare I presume to be the next JK Rowling or Stephenie Meyer.

When I said I was a career coach, no one asked if I was ICF certified.

They were more interested in how long I'd been coaching/writing and what areas I coached or wrote about.

There are 2 interesting observations I would venture to make.

First, people are primarily obsessed with themselves. They think about themselves morning, noon and night.

How do I look? What do others think of me? Is my hair alright? Is my outfit alright? Did I say something dumb when talking to the moms at school?

People want to know how your self-description is relevant to their current situation.

So if you say you are a writer, they might ask: What do you write about? Oh, you proofread essays and resumes? Do I need your service? Yes, I actually need someone to look at my resume before I send it out. Who else do I know that might need your service? The senior students at my child's school who are preparing for university entrance? My co-worker is thinking of changing jobs. Maybe he could talk to you about his resume.

If you say you are a career coach, they might say: How does coaching work? What sort of clients do you work with? People in career transitions? That's interesting. I have actually been thinking about making a career change. I have this work issue that's bothering me. What do you think of it? How might you be able to help me?

As the writer of the newsletter correctly says, people tend to take us at face value.

This is a huge advantage that we don't often recognize.

If you could say anything you liked and know you could get away with it, what would you say about yourself: who you are, what your values are, what your vision in life is?

Would you dare to go as big as your dreams?

Would you limit yourself to a job description ("I work in a bank" or "I'm just a homemaker" or "I'm a wife and mother")?

How about describing what you do in terms of how it helps someone else?

For instance: "I help people explore their career options and understand how they work best so that they are clear about what types of careers suit them."

"I help women with weight loss and body image issues to feel good about who they are, to accept that they have the power to choose how they see themselves, and to take actions that help them become the image of themselves that they secretly desire but didn't think was possible."

The next time someone asks you what you do, remember: you have their permission to say anything you like about yourself.

And make it something authentic, powerful and intriguing.

You are what you think.

As A Man Thinketh, So Is He

Watch your thoughts: They become your words.

Watch your words: They become your actions.

Watch your actions: They become your habits.

Watch your habits: They become your character.

Watch your character: It becomes your destiny.

Michael Oliver, NaturalSelling.com

The #1 Skill That Dwarfs Everything Else

"Taking real steps of any kind is what it takes, no matter where you are... But it's safer just to read some more, or do something that feels like you're doing something, but that doesn't really move you towards your NEXT important goal..."

Does this sound like you?

If the answer's yes, you need to master the #1 skill that dwarfs everything else.

Me? I'm going to take a leaf out of Ken's book and do 20 toe touches when I jump out of bed tomorrow.

PS. To log in to the forum as my guest, key in career-change-confidence.com as your ID and password. You will see yourself online as "Guest of Career-Change-Confidence.com".

How A Simple Charitable Idea Created Nearly 2000 Blankets For AIDS Orphans

When the soaring unemployment rate and mortgage stress are the topics that dominate our conversations and our thoughts, we all need a bit of cheering up.

Here's a story that will inspire you and help put your challenges in perspective.

Sandy started Knit A Square to attract interest to her aunt's charitable cause in Soweto, South Africa.

The resulting response from visitors to the site is simply amazing.

Read Sandy's story here.

To log in as my guest on the forum, simply key in career-change-confidence.com as your ID and password.

You will then see yourself logged in as "Guest of Career-Change-Confidence.com".

Enjoy.

With All I Am (By Hillsong)

As Good Friday draws near, let us be reminded of how much He loved us, how He gave His only Son to die for us so that we could be restored in fellowship to Him.

Would you give your only child for someone who might not appreciate your sacrifice and might even scorn your gesture?

I know I would not.

Not unless it were made possible by the supernatural grace of God.

"You're the reason that I live, the reason that I sing, with all I am."

Jesus Paid It All - Video

Death Of An Old Friend

An Obituary printed in the London Times -

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults,
not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining
their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but need not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and
by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Do Chemical Engineers Get Chemical-Engineering Block?

I love this talk by Elizabeth Gilbert on the subject of creativity.

EG is the author of Eat, Pray, Love.

I haven't read the book but I loved listening to her speak. She's so confident, articulate, funny and real.

Watch the video here.

The Work

I was introduced to the work of Byron Katie by life coach David Wood, whose coaching resources have helped me.

Byron Katie helps people end their suffering (her phrase, not mine) by asking three piercing questions when someone says they have a problem. It might be how they feel about themselves; money anxiety; pain of rejection; loss of a loved one.

E.g. "There's something wrong with me."

BK. "Is that true?"

BK. "How do you know it's true?"

BK. "Who would you be without that thought?"

Then she gets the person to do a "turnaround" by saying to themselves the reverse of the thought that's plaguing them.

In the above example, it would be "There's something right with me."

Then she asks you to prove it with examples of how you have done things right.

Maybe you have great friends.
Maybe you ARE a great friend.
You have the perfect body for you.
You have a great laugh.
You are a great teacher.

Check out some of the videos of interviews she has done with people.
Self
Money
Pressure
Fear of the future