The Loss Of An Icon

Why is it that people are most honoured not while they live but at their own funerals, when they can no longer see or hear or appreciate what others say about them?

The first time I heard that JBJ had passed on was today (a week after the event!), when I was surfing MrBrown.com and read PM's condolence letter. I can't believe I didn't hear the news before this.

Singapore has lost a great statesman.

I wanted to see what people were saying about the event. Googled "JBJ" and found:

• an insightful and touchingly honest tribute by Dharmendra Yadav
• video footage of the funeral
• a YouTube "Memory of JBJ" tribute with Candle In The Wind playing in the background.

I respect JBJ for his courage, his tenacity and his vision.

I think The Australian captured the essence of what JBJ stood for best. They called him "champion of democracy". In daring to walk his beliefs and ideals, he has shown the rest of us what it means to choose excellence over mediocrity and to make choices based on courage rather than fear and unthinking compliance.

The Secret to Contentment (Part 2)

我无论在什么景况都可以知足，这是我已经学会了。我知道怎么处卑贱，也知道怎样处丰富；或饱足，或饥饿；或有余，或缺乏，随是随在，我都得了秘诀。我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能做。

腓立比书 4:11-13

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13

The Secret To Contentment

要使生活变得幸福，一定量的忍受力是必要的。

你忍受不了乡下的单调生活，那城市里的生活能够永远给你新鲜感吗？你对麦当劳，足球，电影也有厌倦的一天，那时候，你又镇么办呢？

伟人的生平，除了某些光彩夺目的时刻以外，也都是平凡的。

幸福的生活在很大程度上是一种平静安逸的生活，因为只有在平静的环境里，真正的快乐才能得以纯在。

《来杯幸福茶》

If you see little squares, it could be that you have not downloaded the global IME that lets you read Chinese text.

Download your Global IME here.

If you are using Windows XP, you can configure your computer to read Chinese using the Control Panel.

When God Provides

Today, I had to drive somewhere I'd never driven by myself.

If it wasn't to fulfil a commitment I'd made, I'm sure I would've found lots of excuses not to go.

So I did what I could: I checked Melway, looked up the Street Directory website to make sure I had the most current map, and prayed a simple prayer as I got behind the wheel.

Whenever I drive someplace new, I always feel like I'm holding my breath the whole way through. That's how anxious I get. I'm also beset by a variety of obstacles: inexperience, poor hand-eye-foot coordination, slow reflexes, slow brain. None are helpful when you need to drive and navigate.

Near Thames Boulevard on Heaths Road, I looked into the rearview mirror and found a white car tailgating me.

There's nothing that makes me more nervous than a car following too closely.

The driver in question was unfortunate to be behind me on a single-lane road. I couldn't pull over to let him overtake, the road was that narrow.

It took me a while to shake off the sense that I was holding him up. I tried accelerating, but ended up going over the 70 kmh mark, so I had to slow down again. I wonder what he must have been thinking while stuck behind me.

As I stressed about road signs and whether I was headed in the right direction, a funny thought came to me. It might have been a way to combat all that stress, but I wondered: what if the driver was a guardian angel sent by God to ensure I got to Manor Lakes?

And you know what was even stranger?

Just as I went through the last section of Ballan Road and approached the entrance to Manor Lakes, I glanced into my rearview mirror and the white car that had tailed me all the way along Heaths Road...was gone.

Something similar happened on the way home.

I'd read the map, knew what landmarks to look out for, but was still nervous about getting home safely.

As I got on to Ballan Road, a blue 4WD tailed me. This time, I wasn't as stressed. I just thought: thanks God, another guardian angel! The blue 4WD followed me all the way along Ballan Road and half of Heaths Road. By this time I'd gotten my bearings and knew I was close to home. I signalled to switch to the left lane, expecting the 4WD to overtake now I was out of his way. The driver chose not to, and maintained his speed so that I was able to see him way behind in the right lane as I prepared to turn into Barber Drive and home.

God had heard and God had answered - in His own special way. Thank you Lord.

A Chance To Choose

During a family funeral this week, my aunt shared about her late mum and how she had come to accept Christ just before she passed away.

What persuaded her to say yes to Christ was the fear that she would otherwise not get to see her late husband again, as he had died a Christian.

My aunt thanked God that her parents had "a chance to choose" salvation, and that phrase stayed in my mind.

You and I have a chance to choose too.

This chance is presented to us every single day that we live and breathe.

Do we use it to say yes to Christ and to eternal life with Him, or do we say "no" or "later" and find out too late that we no longer have the chance to choose, because death or disability have robbed us of our abilities?

Family Ties

On Tue, my family (my cousin, my hubby and Beth) drove from Hoppers Crossing to Moonee Ponds to attend a funeral.

The lady who passed away was my "cheet chim poh" (7th grandaunt), my granddad's half brother's wife.

Our families weren't close.

When I was growing up, we met only once a year during Chinese New Year.

As a child, I remember those occasions as something to dread rather than delight in.

The extended family liked to descend upon my grandma's place on the first day of Chinese New Year.

They would usually come just after lunch in a group of twenty or so, all three generations at the same time. It was like a huge family reunion.

My grandma enjoyed being the hostess and matriarch of the clan (she was the most senior of her generation), but as a child and later a teen, I hated those occasions.

You had to greet all the granduncles and grandaunties (and try not to accidentally call 6th grandaunt 7th/10th grandaunt); uncles and aunts; and figure out who was who amongst the innumerable cousins whose names you couldn't remember afterwards, especially as the number increased over the years.

My job was to serve drinks (Fanta orange, anyone?), and I tell you it's no joke counting the guests and trying to make sure every one has got a drink in the midst of all the noisy greetings.

Especially when you're an introvert and all you want is to hide away somewhere and read a book instead of being subject to adult comments about how tall you've grown and how well (or not) you are doing at school.

I suppose it wasn't easy for the adults either.

They had a customary obligation they couldn't get out of: to hand out red packets to all the children and unmarried adults.

I got a taste of this unique adult responsibility years later when I was married and had to hand out red packets myself. My solution? Stay away from grandma's place on the afternoon of the first day of CNY!

Back to the funeral.

It's been more than two years since I've seen any of the extended family. I was happy to leave it to my mum and aunts and uncles to keep up the tradition of visitations and phone calls.

Then last week, my aunt texted me to say 7th grandaunt had passed away in Melbourne, and could my two cousins and I attend the wake on behalf of our respective families in Singapore.

There's no more powerful reminder of your age than a summons of this nature.

Represent the family? Surely that's for the elders to do? But of course, they're all in Singapore and we're here.

In the end, only one cousin was able to make it. We met outside the funeral home which turned out to be a church. There were fewer than twenty present, just the immediate family and a couple whom I'm guessing were the in-laws of one of my cousins.

But you know what?

Even though I confessed to my aunt that I couldn't remember very much of her mum (I didn't recognize the old lady till I looked at the portrait next to the casket), I'm glad we went.

The older I get, the more I appreciate belonging to a family.

Even if I'm not close to some members, even if my memories are tainted by the prejudices and perceptions of childhood, they are still my aunts and uncles and grandaunts and granduncles.

I'm even starting to feel a certain pride in my place in the extended family. A strong desire to do a good job of representing my elders. Knowing the right things to say. Respecting the old ways. Honouring traditions and customs.

I don't necessarily agree with the thinking behind some customs, but God has opened my eyes to subtlety and discretion. I can honour the person without being a slave to human tradition. I can affirm and empathize despite differences in age and upbringing and the separation of time and distance.

And every opportunity for contact is an opportunity to be an ambassador for Christ.

When I greeted the two granddaughters of 7th grandaunt, I made a conscious and bold decision to hug them instead of shaking hands as I might have done. The older of the granddaughters hugged me back so tightly and for so long that I felt embarrassed. She had been very close to her grandma, and she afterwards gave a beautiful eulogy which told me more about her grandma in ten minutes than I could've ever learnt in thirty CNYs.

I'd brought Beth with me, and my rellies were delighted to see how much she's grown. I think she was just a toddler when we last met. The two granddaughters, one newly married, are therefore aunts to Beth.

As we swapped contacts and returned to our respective cars after the cremation, my aunt reminded us that we should keep in touch, otherwise "our generation" (mine and my cousins') would not know each other.

She has a good point.

We're all grown up and we've moved on from our mischievous, annoying, crazy childhood days. We probably have more in common now. If we continue to keep the family connection alive, who knows what new chapters of family history we can pass on to our own children.

Discovering and Accepting Your Weak Spots

Met a friend at church today and she made a comment that set off an "Aha!" moment in my brain.

"I'm not a playgroup mom. I tried it for a while but found I COULDN"T STAND THE NOISE!"

I thought her remark funny at the time, because she's a mom of three...boys.

But her remark also helped make sense of the conflict going on in my headspace.

For the past 7 months, I've been helping out at Monday playgroup with two other ladies.

We set up the play room, serve tea, coffee and bikkies at 10.30, chat with the moms, organize hands-on activity for the tots, wash the coffee cups and put away the toys.

It's not hard work.

Yet I have to admit, at times it's been a struggle. While it's nice to be doing something useful that meets a real need, I find I'm actually glad when the school hols come around and there's no playgroup.I've been trying to figure out what's behind the sense of low satisfaction.I've narrowed it down to two possibilities.

One, I'm not a natural kids person.Some people are just kid magnets. They know exactly what to say to a child to make her eyes light up or to send her into fits of giggling.

What I've managed to achieve so far - in terms of saying the right sorts of things to littlies so they don't run crying back to Mom - has been a gift from my own parenting experience.

If not for my own two challenging me and forcing me to improvise everyday, I wouldn't have the confidence to approach someone's child or to have him come over on a play date.Conversations with kids are one of the riskier things in life, something you can't properly control.

Have you ever tried to strike up a conversation with a 4 y.o., they answered yes/no, and the conversation just died?

The second reason I think I struggle with Mondays is because I'm not naturally social.

I may manage to make decent conversation on a one-on-one basis, but I tend to shrink into the background and come across as aloof if I encounter a group.

I've discovered that I have a pretty strong need for a sense of belonging, to feel that I'm making a difference, otherwise I get discouraged and feel like my presence is redundant.

When you're in playgroup, you can't just do the wallflower thing and chase your kid all the time. Part of the reason you're there is to mingle.

Things are getting better now that I've got to know a few of the moms better and we're on a come-over-for-coffee basis.

But I can tell you, I felt like a real outsider at the start. Almost an intruder, as most of the moms seemed to have known each other for a long time and their kids played together well.

So maybe what the past 7 months has been about is a process of self-discovery and acceptance.
You have to give something a go to know if it fits you or not.And finding out that something's not for you is never a loss or failure or a waste of time, because you do learn valuable stuff about yourself.

Such as "I'm not a playgroup mum". ;-)

Are you overpaid?

This week, there was a news item about Nicole Kidman being Hollywood's most overpaid actress.

If you were Nicole, how would you feel about being labelled that way?

What about your current work situation?

Do you regard yourself as overpaid or underpaid?

Before you answer, consider these questions:

1. Are you giving at least 100%?
2. Do you actively engage in creative activity to brainstorm exciting and fun new ways to do things at work?
3. Are you constantly thinking of ways to improve your organisation's products and service levels?
4. Do you help your team do its best? Are you a peacemaker or tension maker? A team player or team parasite?
5. Is your daily work about adding value to your organisation, or are you satisfied with just doing the bare minimum to keep your job?

If you've reached the point where

• you're burnt out
• you've lost the zeal and passion you once had for your job
• you feel you're going nowhere in your career and therefore you can't be bothered to do your best,

these are all danger signs that you are an overpaid worker.

Much as we would like the organisation to take more notice of us as individuals, the truth is that there are very few bosses out there who will sit down for a real heart-to-heart with us one on one.

They may be too busy.

Or maybe they aren't the people-oriented type. They don't know how to go about doing something so potentially fraught with emotion, so they avoid it.

These things are outside our control.

What we can control, though, is our attitude and our actions.

We can choose to take ownership of our careers.

We can choose to be active team members in our workplaces.

An active team member is positive and can-do; he doesn't wait to be told what to do.

An active team member has the interests of the organisation in mind at all times. His actions and decisions are geared towards helping the organisation be its best.

An active team member sees himself as having a vested interest in how well the organisation does. He wants the organisation to succeed.

He is concerned about the quality of its products and services.

He constantly thinks of better ways to do things so that the organisation fulfils the reasons for its existence.

He knows that one way to help the organisation excel is by helping his boss do a great job.

So he supports his boss by doing great work himself, by providing useful, honest feedback, and by helping his boss look and feel good.

Obviously, some savvy is required here. We're not talking about playing politics or sucking up to the boss, but of genuinely wanting a win-win-win for the boss, the organisation and for yourself.

We're talking about how you can consistently prove yourself over time to be the Most Valuable Employee your boss has ever had.

When it comes to performance bonus time and appraisal time, you will be confident rather than petrified.

You will be in control, to some extent.

This is because you would have already done such an outstanding job in the past 12 months that there is no question that you deserve to advance.

The only question is how much.

That decision, again, is outside your control.

Your boss has her own set of criteria and a limited pool of resources.

But even if you don't get the promotion or bonus you were expecting, if you're constantly working to be Most Valuable Employee, you can be assured that you're virtually recession-proof.

In a recession, the first workers to go tend to be the lowly skilled ones and those who are considered to be overpaid in relation to the value they actually provide.

If you're highly skilled in what you do and you choose to be an active team member, it's possible you will always be underpaid wherever you go.

But wouldn't you rather that - than the reverse?

Do You Own Your Fear, Or Does It Own You?

I picked up a quote today that really made me think.

It was from a Time mag article on successful professionals and the career choices they make.

Janet Reid is a Chemistry Ph.D. who joined P&G and finally left to start her own management consultancy.

She says her decision to leave P&G is like that of a hermit crab deserting its shell to seek a better one. 

"I was fueled by fear and driven by faith," she says. "I'm scared of drowning, and that's why I scuba dive. You've got to face up to the fear and own it to get to the next level."

I thought that was an incredibly powerful insight.

You can own your fear, and let it take you to greater things.

Or you can let fear own you, and stay stifled, frustrated and paralysed in your comfort zone.

Whether you're deciding to migrate or to change careers, it's always tempting not to make a decision that might rock the boat. 

The safety of the familiar is any time better than the chilling waters of uncharted territory. Especially when you're not sure of your destination.

But what if fear is just the gateway to life's next great adventure?

What would it cost you NOT to rock the boat, make a splash and swim in a different sea?

Pretend it's 30 years down the road and you're looking back on your life.

Will the older and wiser you say, "I'm glad I did that and risked that and experienced that", or will it be "I wish I'd had the guts to try; it's too late now"?

The Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination

I love JK Rowling.

Not just for Harry Potter, but for her incredible life story.

It's an inspiring tale of resilience, of self-belief, of passion, of purpose, of courage.

She shares some of the magic in her commencement address to the 2008 Harvard graduates, which you can read here:
http://harvardmagazine.com/go/jkrowling.html

May you be inspired to fully live the life God has given you.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.
JK Rowling

Can you survive without a job?

I got thinking about this recently when we had dinner with friends who are new migrants.

The husband had just received a job offer from the Government, and you could tell the couple were elated.

He's waited six months, sending out applications and waiting for the phone call or email that can change his life and his family's financial position.

For a highly qualified Singapore professional, being jobless in a foreign First World country can be excruciating, a sort of baptism by fire.

That got me thinking.

Is it possible to have a life where you make money without getting a job?

Can you go against herd instinct and make money in other ways?
Why does everyone seem to think that getting a job is the best and only way to make money?

I was at the doctor's today for laryngitis. J had a nasty cough as well.

When I requested a medical certificate, the doctor's first question was: "What work do you do?"

I had to explain that I'm a stay-home mum, and that the MC was actually for my husband because he's taking carer's leave to look after us.

So he made out the MC in my husband's name.

It struck me as particularly galling that being a stay-home requires me to justify the work I do.

Perhaps I should have said "I am a writer" or "I am an online business owner".

Even then, I suspect the doctor would have looked suspiciously at me and thought I was being funny.

Isn't it interesting how the default position is that everyone who is able-bodied and not studying or raising a family should have a job?

Look at the way superannuation and bank loans are designed.

If you are an employee, your organization puts in the 9% or 17% contribution into your super.

The seeds of your retirement funds start from there.

When you want to borrow money to buy a house, the bank calculates your borrowing capacity and your serviceability capacity.

One criteria they use is your income.

Without evidence of a stable income over a period of at least 12 months, you might have to resort to borrowing from a second-tier financial insitution at a possibly higher interest rate (what they call lo-doc or no-doc loans).

How do you demonstrate a stable income over a length of time?

Again, a job is the best way to do it.

And yet, when you think of it, a job is hardly any form of security these days.

Recently, Ford Australia laid off 600 jobs. This was followed by a second-round cut of 350 jobs. On the same day that the 350 job cuts were announced, the company president resigned and returned to USA.

We are talking of nearly a thousand workers and their families whose livelihoods are suddenly threatened through a corporate decision completely outside their control.

If these workers receive job offers soon after, good for them.

What happens if they don't?
What happens if their reserves run out before the next job offer comes along?
What if they are single-income families where one spouse has stayed home to raise the kids?
What if there's an accident resulting in a disability, and the insurance company or TAC drags its feet about paying out?

These are the possibilities no one likes to think about.

We think it won't happen to us.

But bad things do happen every day that could threaten our family's welfare and put us in financial stress.

Studies have shown that finances are the main cause of domestic disputes.

If the sole source of income dries up, what then?

It is too awful to think about, so most of us refuse to go there.

But this is precisely why we need to make advance preparations.

We have to start thinking of alternative ways to make money while we are relatively financially stable, not when that stability is gone.

Banks lend money to you when you don't need it.

When you actually need money, you can be fairly certain the bank manager will politely show you the door.

Let's think for a minute of alternatives.

If you haven't got a job, or don't plan on getting one because you hate being tied down to one organization (which in a sense is what having a job is about), you could do one of several things:

• Hire yourself out as a freelancer or consultant, and do what you're skilled at, but for many clients rather than one. This way, you diversify your risk. If one client folds, there are always others.
• Convert a hobby into a stream of income. Teach music to the kids in your neighbourhood, walk people's pets, sell hand-crafted jewellery at craft fairs.
• Do jobs most people would be glad to pay someone else to do. Mow lawns, distribute fliers, do packing at ALDI's, do the ironing for someone who hates domestic chores.
• Start a business. If you have the capital and your market research has turned up an opportunity for your kind of business, by all means go for it. You could start from scratch or invest in a franchise. Not many people have access to large amounts of capital though, so if this is your situation, you may have to consider other low-cost ways of doing business.
• How about joining an MLM company? Of course you will have to do your due diligence and evaluate the opportunity before you part with a single cent.
• Now consider going online, like so many people dream of doing. When you do your research carefully, you will be surprised at how easily the Internet medium lends itself to all sorts of individuals, life situations and types of businesses. Including all the ones we've just discussed.

An online business is the perfect income-producing avenue for almost anyone.

Retirees who want to enjoy life their own way.

Career changers who - like 72% of American households - want to work from home.

Work at home parents looking for a way to help with the family expenses while looking after the kids.

Info publishers and infopreneurs.

Turn your specialist knowledge about something people want into a stream of income.

Elad did it with kids' parties.



Sellers of hard goods. You could be a maker of goods, a sourcer of goods, an artist, or someone who has found a unique way to present an array of goods from different sources.

Sellers of e-goods.Watch Tomaz turn tennis into checks.

Affiliate marketers who specialize in marketing and selling other people's products. They get a commission on each sale they make.

Network marketers who prefer a unique website to the company's duplicate website. With your own website, you have a better chance of reaching out to more qualified prospects than you could ever find time to meet or call individually.

Real estate agents. If you are an agent, you may have discovered that your company website doesn't do much to help you grow your business. How do you capture some of that online passing traffic and use it to bring in the buyers and sellers who are interested in the properties you are listing?

It's incredible just how useful and how flexible the Internet is. It can help you start a business, take control of your career and finances, and enhance the quality of your lifestyle to fit better with what you most love doing.

Ethel Turner, Australian Author

I do want fame - plenty of it. Today I feel I want it almost more than anything, nothing else can quite satisfy me. If a Fairy came along and offered me Love or Fame, of course I should choose Love. No, I don't see why I shouldn't have both.
From Ethel Turner's diary (1893)

Not one of the seven is really good, for the very excellent reason that Australian children never are.
Seven Little Australians

...an aching to go and live where life is lived, not just passed through...

The Silver Lining

The past week has been harrowing for our church family, particularly the family whose daughter/sister is in hospital with blood clots in her brain.

I want to dwell, not on the medical aspects of the drama that is still unfolding, but on what it has done to our church family.

The silver lining in the cloud, if you will.

HXUCA is outstanding for its hospitality.

CA and I should know, having been warmly embraced and made to feel welcome in so many ways in the past 2 years.

But after what has recently happened, HXUCA can lay claim to another character trait that would make the Apostle Paul proud.

It is the spirit of unity and purpose that Paul wrote about in the book of Philippians, when he exhorted the believers to look out for each other.

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
(Phil.2:1-4)

What I have witnessed in the past week has been just that.

On Thu, when the news broke that S was very ill, emails and phone calls helped the rest of the church family keep informed of what was happening.

On Fri night, a prayer meeting was held.

One of the elders had a brilliant idea. She suggested we create a pink-&-purple prayer chain from rolled up pieces of craft paper joined together. Pink and purple are S's fave colours.

The idea was to fill the chain with messages of encouragement, love and blessing, so S could have something pretty that she can see and touch when she wakes up from her induced coma.

What really touched me about the prayer meeting was the attitude of the people present.

Not for HXUCA men and women the stiff, formal, "proper" prayers I'm so accustomed to.

These were earnest prayers, passionate prayers, prayers of desperation, hope, and faith.

Prayers that emanated from deep within the hearts of those that uttered them.

The requests were bold yet humble.

I tell you, I was so humbled and touched.

Had I been an outsider, I would have been immensely impressed and drawn to the Christian faith.

As a fairly recent member of the HXUCA family, I am so proud of my brothers and sisters for the way they demonstrate so clearly and unabashedly how much they love S and want her to get well.

I am so glad to be a part of this loving family of faith.

Do you know your purpose?

That is the challenge life coach David Wood threw me today.

Not verbally.

Just an email inviting me to join him and Tim Kelly on a free coaching call on Thu 2 pm EST. That works out to Friday 5 am in Melbourne - still not too bad, considering I've had to wake up even earlier for some other calls.

What was interesting was the content of the offer.

On this call with Tim Kelley and David Wood, you'll learn about how finding your purpose can help you answer life's deepest questions: Why am I here? What am I meant to do? Create the life you desire!

Which naturally leads me to ask you: do YOU know your purpose?

I hope you do.

David and Tim are right in that if you're vague about your purpose, it's going to have a negative flow-on effect on the rest of your life.

When you are aligned with a clear purpose and everything you do, say and think resonates with that purpose, it attracts people.

There is something beautiful about someone whose purpose is clear and defined, whose gaze is direct, whose mind is uncluttered.

What that driving purpose is is another issue.

Again I ask, what is YOUR purpose?

I find that as the years go by, my purpose becomes narrower, sharper, more defined.

I know by Whom I am made and for Whose purpose.

That makes it easier for me to define my purpose.

It is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

I do that by expressing myself the way He made me, the way that is most natural for me.

By writing and communicating in a way that

• glorifies Him and brings honour to His name, and that


• edifies my fellow man and builds him up.

Today, I read Philippians 2. This is what the apostle Paul says:

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Do you know your purpose?

The Creative Process (Stream of Consciousness Style)

I have been working - nay, wrestling - over my website.

If all goes to plan, this will be the first of many.

But the first one is the hardest.

Oh, I know I can pay someone to do it.

But that would be too easy, and I wouldn't learn half as much.

Or have as much fun.

I want to do it the right way.

Not just getting the technical bits right, which is completely out of my depth.

I'm thinking more about the writing aspect.

I want to write from the heart.

Share what is true.

Talk truthfully and objectively about what has worked for me and what hasn't.

Create something that will be of real use and benefit to others.

Not just something that pulls traffic and brings in dollars.

Although that would be a nice bonus!

It's got to be perfect (that reminds me of a song...) in every way.

Honouring to God.

Edifying to people.

Satisfying for me in a creative, artistic sense.

That is why it's so hard.

And also because I suffer from some form of attention deficit disorder.

I start brainstorming Theme A, then get sidetracked into "How about Theme B? That would be a good one too, lots of content and ideas..."

It has happened over and over for the past year.

Theme A gets abandoned in favour of Theme B, which in turn gets overwhelmed by Theme C, then after a huge U-turn, I come back to Theme A - or some variant of it.

I am trying to enjoy the uncertainty of the creative process, while keeping one eye on the practical.

My husband reminds me to Focus.

He knows me well.

I could sit and dream up a dozen different ideas to save the world and change lives, but it's not going to matter if none of those ideas makes it to implementation.

I have to just launch Something, put Something out there, and see what happens.

Going forward and reverse engineering at the same time.

It's so exciting when the seed of an idea starts to form.

You could go anywhere with it.

Do anything with it.

Let it take you on adventures.

Whatever you do, just don't tell it to go away.

It might not come back!

Mary Poppins & The Abundance Mentality

I've watched the musical Mary Poppins countless times with the kids.

Each time I do, I either learn something new or get an old lesson reinforced.

There's this bit in the story where , Bert, Mary and the kids travel back from the racecourse where Mary had just won a trophy and taught Supercalifraglisticexpialidocious to her audience.

It was raining back at the park and Bert's chalk drawings on the pavement were all ruined.

"Oh Bert," sighed Mary, "all your fine drawings."

Bert saw it differently.

"There's plenty more where they came from," he replied.

"Besides, looks like good chestnut weather to me."

Just think of that.

Bert is able to put a positive spin on what looks like a setback - he's no longer thinking of what he's lost (the chalk drawings) but what he can create afresh.

And he's looking at other opportunities the bad weather can provide, that silver lining every cloud has if we look hard enough.

If he can't sell chalk drawings, he can sell something else - hot chestnuts.

What a clever, resourceful, creative chimney sweep.

I can think of more applications.

Did you notice Bert hasn't confined himself to chimney sweeping? He's a chalk artist, a busker and a streetside vendor of hot chestnuts on cold, wet days.

Multiple streams of income. Yep.

But I'm thinking of something else too.

Bert hasn't allowed his current reality (being a lowly chimney sweep, which surely was fairly low on the social ladder for his time) to limit him from doing good, living well and expressing himself the best way he can.

In the story, he's also a friend to children and a counselor to adults (even those adults who wouldn't normally socialize with chimney sweeps).

Action Challenge
What's keeping you back from living a full life?
What can you start doing today to live a fuller, more vibrant life?

Why We Need To Learn To Defend Our Faith

Hubby sent me this piece by Catherine Deveny of The Age.

CD can have a pretty heavy, aggressive writing style sometimes, like that of someone bent on a mission to destroy.

Her antithesis would be Stephanie Dowrick, who has a column in GW Magazine.

[SD is an ordained Interfaith Minister and author who writes reflective pieces on kindness, self-awareness, goodwill to all men - you get the idea.]

In her article, Catherine talks about how she grew up in a Christian household. She now proudly declares herself an atheist.

One para in particular caught my eye.

I think she's got it right on when she says Christians can sometimes get defensive and evasive when asked questions about our faith that we cannot readily answer.

"I question some of my progressive, believing mates about if they believe in Noah's ark, the Immaculate Conception, Adam and Eve, the Resurrection, even heaven, and they squirm a little and try to change the subject.

They get vague, defensive and then start muttering something about faith and mystery and a power of love that unites us all.

Sure, it would be easy to torture them, but they're adults and it's their life.

I just can't see why it's so difficult to have a rigorous discussion about it."

I can see why an atheist (or anyone else) would question the credibility of the Christian faith when we who profess to believe cannot give a decent, reasoned defence of our faith.

After all, the apostle Peter himself tells us in 1 Peter 3:15-16:

15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

Being a believer is not just a matter of faith.

It is also a matter of engaging the thinking, reasoning mind that we have been blessed with.

Our faith is rooted not in myths and legends but in historically proven and provable events.

Some accounts in the Bible - Creation, The Great Flood - may seem to be completely at odds with what scientists have been telling us for years.

This is where we need to learn to distinguish facts from interpretation.

Two people can be presented with the same set of facts and arrive at different conclusions - because they are viewing the matter through different lenses.

These lenses are the starting point of the reasoning process and represent our values, beliefs, biases and prejudices.

Nobody can claim to be truly impartial or objective.

Not even atheists, who believe there is no God.

That in itself is an assertion, a statement of belief.

(You might even say atheism is a religion in itself.)

Our life experiences, upbringing, the learning and working environments we are exposed to, the culture of our times...all these are factors that influence why we think the way we do.

If you want a reasoned, rational way of looking at the issues raised by Catherine (Noah's Ark, Adam and Eve), I would highly recommend these resources:

• The Answers Academy course presented by the folks at Answers In Genesis
• The resources on the Creation Ministries International site.

Whom Do We Serve?

Another marvellous message from the principal of Heathdale Christian College.

========================================================

No matter how talented or successful we become, we all need a strong dose of servanthood.

As you pursue your God-given destiny, be careful.

Don't be so focused on what you love to do that you neglect what needs to be done.

A 3 a.m. nappy change isn't exciting, nor is garage sweeping.

Visiting someone who is sick may not come naturally to you.

Yet the sick need to be cared for, garages need sweeping, and nappies need changing.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.
Mark 10:45 NIV

Lessons From The Valley of the Shadow

A dear friend sent me this wonderful testimony by Tony Snow, once President Bush's press secretary.

I hope it inspires you too.

God Bless,
Serena

TONY SNOW’S TESTIMONY

Tony Snow was a television commentator who eventually became President Bush’s press secretary. He had several bouts with cancer and he lost his battle this past weekend. Last October, during the midst of his illness, Tony Snow shared what spiritual lessons he had been learning through his ordeal.

Blessings arrive in unexpected packages – in my case, cancer. Those of us with potentially fatal diseases – and there are millions in America today – find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality while trying to fathom God’s will. Although it would be the height of presumption to declare with confidence “What It All Means,” scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.

The first is that we shouldn’t spend too much time trying to answer the “why” questions : Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can’t someone else get sick? We can’t answer such things, and the questions themselves often are designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer.

I don’t know why I have cancer, and I don’t much care. It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, great and stunning truths begin to take shape. Our maladies define a central feature of our existence : We are fallen. We are imperfect. Our bodies give out.

But despite this, or because of it, God offers the possibility of salvation and grace. We don’t know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our creator face-to-face.

Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying can send adrenaline flooding through your system. A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of nothingness and swoon. You fear partings; you worry about the impact on family and friends. You fidget and get nowhere.

To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into life – and that the journey continues after we have finished our days on this earth. We accept this on faith, but that faith is nourished by a conviction that stirs even within many non believing hearts – an intuition that the gift of life, once given, cannot be taken away. Those who have been stricken enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight with their might and faith to live fully, richly and exuberantly – no matter how their days may be numbered.

Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprises. We want lives of simple, predictable ease – smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see – but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance and comprehension – and yet don’t. By His love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.

“You Have Been Called”.

Picture yourself in a hospital bed. The fog of anesthesia has begun to wear away. A doctor stands at your feet; a loved one holds your hand at the side. “It’s cancer’” the healer announces.

The natural reaction is to turn to God and ask Him to serve as a cosmic Santa. “Dear God, make it all go away. Make everything simpler.” But another voice whispers : “You have been called”. Your quandary has drawn you closer to God, closer to those you love, closer to the issues that matter and has dragged into insignificance the banal concerns that occupy our “normal time”.

There’s another kind of response, although usually short-lived, an inexplicable shudder of excitement, as if a clarifying moment of calamity has swept away, everything trivial and tiny, and placed before us the challenge of important questions.

The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change. You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive, pious and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world shorn of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs and epiphanies. Think of Paul, traipsing through the known world and contemplating trips to what must have seemed the antipodes, shaking the dust from his sandals, worrying not about the morrow but only about the moment.

There’s nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue – for it is through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and spirits the most we ever could give, the most we could offer and the most we ever could do.

Finally, we can let love change everything. When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, He grieved not for Himself but for us. He cried for Jerusalem before entering the holy city. From the cross, He took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness and begged for forgiveness on our behalf.

We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we acquire purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God’s love for others. Sickness gets us part way there. It reminds us of our limitations and dependence. But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy. A minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones accept the burden of two peoples’ worries and fears.

“Learning How To Live”.

Most of us have watched friends as they drifted towards God’s arms, not with resignation, but with peace and hope. In so doing, they have taught us not how to die but how to live. They have emulated Christ by transmitting the power and authority of love.

I sat by my best friend’s bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family, many of his old friends and at least one priest. Here was a humble and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He retained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment. “I’m going to try to beat (this cancer),” he told me several months before he died. “But if I don’t, I’ll see you on the other side.”

His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn’t promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity – filled with life and love we cannot comprehend – and that one can in the throes of sickness point the rest of us toward timeless truths that will help us weather future storms.

Through such trials, God bids us to choose : Do we believe, or do we not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations? Can we surrender our concern in things that don’t matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?

When our faith flags, he throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things and those of us who have been on the receiving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know : Others have chosen, when talking to the author of all creation, to lift us up – to speak of us!

This is a love of a very special order. But so is the ability to sit back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing. The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness more luminous and intense. We may not know how our contest with sickness will end, but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.

What is man that Thou art mindful of him? We don’t know much, but we know this : no matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who believe, each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow of God’s hand.

Learn, Unlearn, Relearn

Being a part of the church worship team has been an incredible time of learning.

My classical training has been helpful in that I can sightread and work out chords and stuff.

Sometimes, though, it has been a bit of a hindrance, because when you are part of a team, different considerations apply.

You have to know when to play and when to hold back.

You can't play like a soloist or play the synth as if you were playing the piano.

Especially if there is another pianist involved, one who is extremely gifted and who can play anything and any genre.

The worship workshop we had 2 weekends ago has been a catalyst of positive change for the worship team.

Today was the first time we played under new leadership, and I think I'm not the only one who felt it was a change for the better.

Team morale was high.
The music flowed better, even though we had just piano, synth and bass guitar. (No drums - amazing!)
The girls sang really well, and the bit in the Hallelujah chorus when the instruments died away and it was just voices was BEAUTIFUL.

Afterwards, we had a debrief (a first!) and talked about what worked and what didn't.

I was relieved to know that the music director had some positive things to say about my playing. That's a huge encouragement, considering I'm not a seasoned keyboardist and am still feeling my way around the synth.

Thank you Lord, that however old I get, there is always something new to learn.
Keep me flexible and nimble so that I never stagnate.
Amen.