Some of us are timid by nature.
Prone to self-doubt, we require constant affirmation and approval which others are not always prepared or able to give.
This sometimes extends to matters of faith, when we allow our relationship with God to be clouded by what a third party - a loved one, a concerned friend, a fellow Christian, an unbeliever - thinks.
We need to remind ourselves that we are all imperfect. Even the most saintly person has sinned at some point in thought, word or deed. When we stand before God on Judgment Day, we shall then see ourselves and each other clearly, and there will be surprises.
The Bible warns that the word of God is living and active. It judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Heb. 4:12), the very things that are invisible to the outside world. The world prizes appearance and image above truth. The Bible says nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight (Heb. 4:13). The eyes of the Lord are in every place keeping watch on the evil and the good.
What comfort then, for those who are timorous of spirit and do not know how to assert themselves effectively?
What encouragement can we offer those who crave external confirmation that they are doing the right thing?
What advice do we give someone who is in need?
Paul says we should hold firmly to the faith we profess, because we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God. (Heb. 4:14) It is not in our imperfect selves or in another's opinion that we should trust (thank God!), but in the One who is perfectly trustworthy and dependable - Jesus.
We rejoice because not only is Jesus deserving of our trust, He is also compassionate and merciful. He does not stand afar and mock our weak attempts to live right. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet without sin. (Heb. 4:15)
If we remember that no one is above sin, we will have a healthier view of others and of ourselves.
We will learn to expect less from those who always seem to have their act together, who can seem to do no wrong, because we know that inside, they are as fallible as anyone else.
We will learn to be gentle with ourselves when we slip, because Jesus is Himself gentle and merciful.
Does this mean we can compromise our morality or close an eye to sin because it is to be expected of a fallen world?
No. The Bible makes it very clear that we must give account to God for the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts and everything we do in this lifetime.
How then should we ask for help?
Heb. 4:16 says that those who need help can ask for it and receive it. Not in a grovelling manner, as though God might say 'no' or 'go away', but with confidence, because He is a God of mercy and grace.
With God we have no need to "stand on ceremony", feel "pai seh" or feel we are unworthy of good things. A child never doubts that Mummy or Daddy will give him the peanut butter sandwich or bike that he asks for. So too can we go to God naturally and confidently to ask for what we need.
This may be a difficult thing to accept for those accustomed to being told they are unworthy of love or plain "not good enough". Not all of us have had the blessing of being raised in a loving, accepting environment.
But with God, we can start anew.
We can ask for courage to confront, accept and overcome our imperfections.
We can ask for a healthy dose of self-love so that we can begin to lead fruitful lives, unencumbered by memories of past pain and rejection.
We Can Ask.
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