From Life Coaching Institute of Australia (www.lcia.com.au), Ezine Central
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Understanding Yourself
If you wish to improve yourself, you must first and foremostly recognise that all change stems from within. You have the ability to modify your thoughts and behaviours. You and only you can determine your personal rate of evolution.
Think for a moment of the people you hold in high regard. They may have certain enviable behaviours, or have attained admirable end states. The vast majority of those people have developed their behaviours through awareness and cognitive determination. They recognised who they wanted to be or what they wanted to achieve and willingly aligned their thoughts with their objectives. High level performance in individuals rarely transpires as an occurrence of chance.
You cannot keep doing the same things and expect a different result.
You have the power and the ability to change in order to produce a more positive result. You have the power to choose your attitude. The consequence of this simple and under-utilised reality is mind boggling.
Each and every day people go about their duties as servants to themselves. They are subservient to subconscious attitudes that are most often not acting in accord with their best interests. When most people are forced to bring their negative and destructive actions into consciousness, and asked why they acted as they did, they most often cannot provide an explanation. They honestly do not know why they acted in the manner they did. This is because their untrained and unemotional subconscious invoked their actions without cognitive intervention. In the absence of cognitive intervention the subconscious directs our actions. What's the problem with this? Nothing, if your subconscious has been trained to know how to appropriately act. But in most situations it hasn't, and hence it turns to old patterns that have been learned subliminally. These actions are invariably not constructive, and are very rarely aligned with your conscious desires.
You are not a servant to your emotions. With cognitive intervention you can establish your attitude at any point in time. By establishing your attitude, you determine how you feel and how effectively you are able to operate. Imagine how empowering and life changing this simple possibility can be to you.
We often use communication as though people or circumstances "make" us feel or behave a certain way. This is not the case at all. It's actually your absence of action that leaves you feeling frustrated and submissive to your feelings.
You only need to recognise that different people react dramatically differently to the same stimulus to know this is true.
Attitudes and Actions
As you go through each day you experience a plethora of attitudes. And your attitudes largely determine your level of effectiveness and emotional comfort. If you can manage your attitudes, you can dramatically influence how you feel, behave and perform.
For instance, you may regularly wake up and think to yourself: "I feel really tired today. I wish I didn't have to go to work." As you're driving to work someone cuts in front of you and you think "How dare that person cut in front of me." When you get to work there's no milk for your coffee and you think "There's no milk AGAIN! I'm not going to be able to work effectively unless I get my morning coffee."
These simple scenarios are a representative start to the day for many people. And let's face it, they're negative, low performance attitudes. They are not conducive to high personal performance or a state of personal wellness.
Progressing through life allowing yourself to acquiesce to less than optimum attitudes invariably creates an enormous amount of unnecessary stress. That stress compounds over time and is a catalyst to substantially more complex issues.
In the absence of cognitive attitude management, your mind literally does not have a framework by which to assess environmental influences and relies on instinctual emotional responses. By aligning your attitudes with your desired performance, you are able to assist your mind to cope with external influences and frame your responses accordingly. In effect, you tell your mind how to respond in accordance with your consciously established value-based framework.
Making a Positive Choice
Most people believe their attitudes are a result of external pressures such as people or negative experiences. But whilst external pressures often trigger your attitudes, you are the one that ultimately decides your resultant attitude (or allows yourself to have an inappropriate attitude in the absence of a decision). You can either acquiesce to external pressures, which you have little or no control over, or you can control your response by choosing what attitude you'll take. From the moment you wake to the moment you sleep, you have the power to choose your attitude.
Choosing your attitude starts with a mental intervention. Initially you'll need to think about your attitude and choose appropriate attitudes throughout the day. As your mind becomes more aware of the attitudes you deem congruent, attitude selection will become second nature.
Greater efficacy in attitude selection starts by becoming more aware of your attitudes and the affect they have on your effectiveness and wellbeing. This is usually most apparent in stressful situations. When you're feeling 'negative,' frustrated or anxious, make the cognitive decision to vary your attitude.
NEXT time you are in a stressful situation and you FEEL yourself becoming more anxious, take a brief moment, and a deep breath or two, then make the conscious decision to select a more appropriate attitude. One that will place you in a positive state of mind and assist you better deal with the situation and environment.
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