Thursday, October 18, 2007

Reluctant Entertainer: Entertaining vs Hospitality

This Crosswalk article captured my attention with its headline: Reluctant Entertainers: Hospitality Is A Gift You Can Give.

I am definitely a Reluctant Entertainer. I can think of so many occasions when the thought of people coming to visit stressed me out totally.

To me, having visitors means putting my home on display. Being judged. Being vulnerable to someone else's approval/disdain.

If that sounds terribly negative, it's because I'm a perfectionist by nature.

If I have guests over, the house has to be immaculate.

Not necessarily Martha Stewart style (I'm not Martha, plus I have 2 little ones), but certainly the toys, unironed clothes and dirty laundry must be hidden away, the floor vacuumed and mopped, tables and chairs aligned, the bathroom basin polished and vanity area cleared.

Nothing stresses me out more than suddenly noticing that a table or chair is not perfectly lined up with the floor tiles.

It's mad, I know, but it's this sort of purposeless detail that drives me to distraction.

That, and what to cook/serve.

I'm a middling cook to start with. My hubby's domestic skills are honed to a far higher degree, plus he is a very relaxed, laid-back sort. If the curry doesn't turn out perfect, he'll just laugh and apologize. But if it happened to me, I'd be stressing out thinking "Arrgh! What'll I do now? What will they think of me? I'm a failure!" etc etc.

Instead of focussing on being present with guests and enjoying their company, I'd be thinking ahead to what needs doing next. Very Martha, isn't it. Like the Martha that Jesus lovingly chided for trying too hard.

I think I'm improving a bit though.

Now when my cousin comes by, I sometimes toss out all inhibitions and invite her to stay for a meal. Even if there's nothing much in the house except canned food.

I may even be turning into a sort of domestic goddess of comfort food of the canned variety.

You know, you can whip up a pretty decent meal with Campbell's cream of mushroom soup + baked beans with spam...

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