Mind-Renewing Books

On Sunday, I picked up the following books at the library:

LEARN TO EARN by Lynch & Rothchild
THE PRESENT by Spencer Johnson, MD
SCREW IT! LET'S DO IT by Richard Branson
TOP 10 DUMB CAREER MISTAKES by Lona O'Connor

I've been so swamped lately that reading has taken a back seat, so I was really glad to get into these.

I read The Present very quickly, and initially thought it somewhat simplistic. My first reaction was: a book like this can be a bestseller??

But as I got to the end, I realized I agreed with a lot of what was said. I recognized the traits about myself that I don't like, the ones that have held me back from succeeding.

There's quite a bit to chew on in the days ahead, but the main ideas I've taken away can be very simply phrased:

Learn from the Past (not live in the past, which I sometimes do when I hold on to past glories or past hurts)
Live in the Present (which is where I'm not, because I'm either regretting past mistakes or worrying about things which have not yet happened)
Plan for the Future (not just dream about the future - big difference there, as the dream is the beginning, but the plan helps you get there)

Interestingly, when I read Richard Branson's book next, it seemed to reinforce what I'd just learnt from The Present.

Here's what Branson says on p66:

Always living in the future can slow us down as much as always looking behind. Many people are always looking ahead and they never seem content. They look for quick fixes, like winning the lottery. I know that goals are important. Money is important. But the bottom line is money is just a means to an end, not an end in itself. And what is going on now is just as important as what you're planning for the future. So, even though my diary is full for months ahead, I have learned to live for the moment.

Isn't that another way to say we must learn to live in The Present?

Living in the Present is very hard. When I'm feeding my baby, my mind is on what else I need to accomplish that day. When I'm on the phone, I'm sometimes guilty of reading email at the same time. I pride myself on my ability to multitask, but really, this is just a thin disguise for always wanting to be somewhere else.

What particularly made me smile about Branson's book is how he constantly acknowledges the role of his family in helping him succeed, and how he in turn tries to instil the same groundedness, unconditional love and family closeness in his children.

This is a man of balance, a man who has got his priorities right.

Another gem I picked up is from a story about how he raised funds to buy an old manor house in Oxford to set up a studio to make records. He was still 7,500 pounds short after borrowing from the bank and from his trust fund, and his dad suggested he talk to his Auntie Joyce. She offered to lend him the money, to be paid back with interest when he could afford it. When he started to thank her, she said, "What's money for anyway? It's to make things happen."

That's what she said! Money is To Make Things Happen. To make dreams come true. To help people in need. To solve problems. To heal. To educate. To build goodwill. To give options and choices to those who have it.

That, I think, is a very healthy, wholesome and practical way to view money. I have many hang-ups about money which are rooted in the way I was raised and by social conditioning. I recognize this and am trying to work through the needless emotional and psychological turmoil caused by my false beliefs.

Money is To Make Things Happen.

By itself, it will not make me happy, because I will always encounter something I can't afford. I should not crave it for itself, as though once I achieve a fixed dollar figure, it will guarantee me financial security and peace of mind. Money can be lost in any number of ways.

BUT I cannot run the other way and label money as the root of all evil either, as that is just a way to avoid making responsible decisions about how to use money.

I need to keep reminding myself where money comes from (God) and what it is for (to make things happen, to do good, to share God's bounty).

Reluctant Entertainer: Entertaining vs Hospitality

This Crosswalk article captured my attention with its headline: Reluctant Entertainers: Hospitality Is A Gift You Can Give.

I am definitely a Reluctant Entertainer. I can think of so many occasions when the thought of people coming to visit stressed me out totally.

To me, having visitors means putting my home on display. Being judged. Being vulnerable to someone else's approval/disdain.

If that sounds terribly negative, it's because I'm a perfectionist by nature.

If I have guests over, the house has to be immaculate.

Not necessarily Martha Stewart style (I'm not Martha, plus I have 2 little ones), but certainly the toys, unironed clothes and dirty laundry must be hidden away, the floor vacuumed and mopped, tables and chairs aligned, the bathroom basin polished and vanity area cleared.

Nothing stresses me out more than suddenly noticing that a table or chair is not perfectly lined up with the floor tiles.

It's mad, I know, but it's this sort of purposeless detail that drives me to distraction.

That, and what to cook/serve.

I'm a middling cook to start with. My hubby's domestic skills are honed to a far higher degree, plus he is a very relaxed, laid-back sort. If the curry doesn't turn out perfect, he'll just laugh and apologize. But if it happened to me, I'd be stressing out thinking "Arrgh! What'll I do now? What will they think of me? I'm a failure!" etc etc.

Instead of focussing on being present with guests and enjoying their company, I'd be thinking ahead to what needs doing next. Very Martha, isn't it. Like the Martha that Jesus lovingly chided for trying too hard.

I think I'm improving a bit though.

Now when my cousin comes by, I sometimes toss out all inhibitions and invite her to stay for a meal. Even if there's nothing much in the house except canned food.

I may even be turning into a sort of domestic goddess of comfort food of the canned variety.

You know, you can whip up a pretty decent meal with Campbell's cream of mushroom soup + baked beans with spam...

Watch This Video: Why I Love To Go To Work Everyday

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Fabulous Footy Analogy

I love the opening paragraph of this article from The Sunday Age.

In football, as in life,
actions become habits,
habits become character,
and character becomes destiny.

Isn't that beautiful?

The article praised the team spirit and mental strength of 2007 Brownlow medallist Jimmy Bartel of the AFL Premiership Cup champions Geelong Cats.

There's a lot of truth in the quote.

What we do daily, over time, becomes a habit.

Good ones make my character. Bad ones derail me.

If I choose to form good habits and build my character, I set myself up for success.

If I choose laziness, procrastination and decision making based on wrong values, I set myself up for personal failure.

Each choice leads to a different destiny.

Which destiny do I choose, short-term gratification or long-term fulfilment?

The choice is not always obvious or easy.

Saying yes to LTF means saying no to pleasant distractions along the way. The latest property listings, Sunday Age and even the mid-afternoon cuppa must wait while I get through the hard work of writing an article, calling a potential business partner or packing for our house move.