Take Personal Responsibility

From Kim Fulcher's Compass Life Designs Newsletter

Serena:
I've been following Kim Fulcher's newsletter for 2 months or so and find her writing immensely helpful. She's just started a series of articles on personal effectiveness, a topic that's close to my heart, and this is the first of them. It's on taking responsibility for our circumstances, something we know at the head level but sometimes find difficult to practise. It's easier to whine and point the finger at someone or something other than ourselves, because that means we don't need to do anything about it! But if we make a lifelong habit of doing so, we're just allowing ourselves to stay stuck. Ultimately, we have to ask ourselves if that's worth it.

Principle Number One:
Embrace Personal Responsibility

No one is responsible for your life circumstances except you. Yes, people and events may impact you in ways you cannot control, but ultimately you are the only person who can decide what you do with the experiences you’ve had, the dreams you aspire to, and the actions you take each day.

To be responsible quite literally means that you are “able to respond” to the events of your life. This ability to take in the present conditions of your life at any given time and to decide if those circumstances are working for you or not is always present. You always retain the power to take action and to change circumstances that aren’t measuring up to your standards.

One of the most debilitating, yet common, challenges I work with clients to overcome is what I refer to as a victim mentality. Perhaps you’ve had a difficult childhood and that has anchored you in a self-defeating cycle of feeling powerless and devalued. It’s possible that your heart was broken by an ex-lover who betrayed you or by a malicious co-worker who contributed to your being fired. In fact, it’s probable that you’ve been on the short end of the stick at least once in your life.

Don’t let these isolated experiences take away your power! It’s time to get real and to think logically for a moment. Most of us had difficult childhood experiences. In fact, I’ve never met an individual who came from a stereotypically “functional” family. I’m not sure there is any such thing. Yet this experience doesn’t keep effective people stuck in the past.

Most of us have had our hearts broken or been on the receiving end of less than optimal treatment in the workplace. Yet, the great majority of us have survived. In fact, you have too! Don’t allow your victim story to rob you of the life you deserve to live. Whatever your story is, let it go.

Effective people don’t live in the past. They’ve learned from the past. Then they’ve let it go. They live each day in the present, with their eye on the future they wish to create. When something bad happens, they take in the facts, invest themselves in their power, and take responsibility to address the situation in a way that compliments the life they want to live.

You are so powerful! Don’t give your power to the past—to people who have hurt you or to the experiences that undermined your self-confidence. Step into the full magnificence of who you are, investing yourself in the belief that you can handle anything that comes your way. Then take responsibility to handle it.

Until Next Week…Kim