Living With Goodbyes

In 2 hours, my aunt will be on her way back to Sg after a month here.

I am amazed to find I have tears in my eyes as I read her text message telling us not to go to the airport and that she will call when she has checked in.

See, we weren't close when I was growing up. For years, I was unsettled by her temper and her inexplicable concern with the small stuff, and dreaded visiting her. That was the story of our family - I was also not close (still am not) to my mum or my granny (who passed on earlier this year).

But things have changed in recent years. People change (thank God!). The dominated young ones grow up and become parents. The seniors mellow and abandon all pretense at dominating the next generation, and instead become indulgent and fun grandparents, granduncles and grandaunts. So the lucky little ones never get to see what terrified Mummy when she was 5 or 14 or 22.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, God has played a huge part. One by one, my relatives became believers. And in the past few years, those who were most resistant to the Word or who claimed to believe but denied it through their actions and lifestyles, have become the most inspired and inspiring believers. It is such an amazing, awesome transformation - and one that has the handprint of God all over.

We adults are a stubborn lot. Until we are brought to our knees by personal tragedy and disaster, we can go on for years living in our comfy, self-built shells, assuming that the paradigms we grew up with are the only ones there are.

I suspect what has greatly contributed to my aunt's mellowing is the near-death experiences she has encountered at least 2x in the past 10 years, first in her brush with cancer, then more recently in a botched colonoscopy which led to an adverse reaction to morphine and finally the removal of her appendix and part of her intestines (thanks to the negligence of her doctor).

That, and the positive examples of consistent Christian caring showed by the members of her church small group and by my other aunt (for years the ideal wife/mother/aunt/daughter-in-law and role model par exemple in our family).

So while I am sad to see my aunt go home, I am also glad to have had the opportunity to witness and be blessed by the post-trauma her who has lived to see her faith in God renewed and strengthened, and who now chooses to live in a way that influences others for good.