Step Up!

Throughout my training with TCI, we coaches have been exhorted to Step Up.

This is a phrase that hasn't been part of my vocab till now. Just another thing I've never really thought about.

Then yesterday when I was in the office, my boss came up to me to deliver his last-minute instructions before taking off for the next five weeks. And he said I had to Step Up To The Plate now that I'm paid staff. His idea of stepping up includes chasing people to make sure they follow through with what they are supposed to be doing. (And I thought I'd signed up just to do filing, produce the weekly newsletter and arrange duty rosters!)

I can tell you right off that telling people what to do is one of those things in my Don't Like folder, from back when I was in a leadership position at work. I'd much rather work on my own and accomplish my own goals, thank you.

But now I find myself Stepping Up in new ways.

This week, a fellow coach raved about how she loves my career website because it's so organized and informative and thorough. We got talking about how I might be able to help someone like her who is time-poor and doesn't write effortlessly. So tonight we're having a further chat to discuss how I can provide her with content for her new website.

For me, Stepping Up means not just saying yes to the opportunity to turn my writing skills into a possible niche, but also recognizing that if I want to help my friend create an effective online presence, I have to start learning all about social media and SEO and all the techie stuff I've put on my Someday list.

It's not enough to be just a good writer of content; I need to be a great writer - one who knows all about which keyword to use and where - for the benefit of my clients.

And guess what happened?

As I went through my inbox last night, I clicked on an email by David Riklan of SelfGrowth.com, and it was a video presentation by Ryan Deiss about his partner Kate Buck Jr, some successful Social Media Manager. Riveting story...but the best thing about it was its timeliness. I'm being offered an opportunity to learn all about social media marketing and to even have my own biz if I want. All the templates, audios, videos and support I need come with the package if I say yes.

So what did I do?

Said yes of course.

I want to learn about FB marketing and how to position myself and my brand so I can be found online. Last I looked, my new FB biz fan page had just 11 likes. Not enough to have my own username (you need 25 likes at least). Very sad. This is feedback (not failure!), so what do Ineed to do about it to become someone that others would happily click the Like button for even if they don't know me?

That's partly why I said yes to Kate.

And if I can succeed at creating a strong FB and Twitter etc presence for myself, imagine what I could do for my clients!

A coach who also provides writing services and helps her clients create a strong online presence so their businesses can soar.

How cool is that?

Then this morning, I received an email from an ex-client asking if I could teach her how to pray.

And I thought, wow, spiritual coaching - another niche?

And I am having to Step Up again.

Because other than the Lord's Prayer and what I've learned from years of being a Christian, what do I really know about prayer?

So I did the next best thing. I made a time to chat more fully over the phone, and meanwhile you can be sure I'll be reading up everything I can about prayer and how to pray effectively.

That's my definition of Stepping Up.

What Does Success Mean To You?

On tonight's Conversations With A Master Coach webinar, the facilitator asked how we celebrate the successes and little milestones on our coaching journey.

I'll just blog about mine here.

I can think of at least two successes I want to give myself a pat on the back for today.

One. I had a Parent-Teacher Interview this afternoon and couldn't really think of what to ask Beth's teacher, except to give her a heads up about the possibility that we might be changing schools next year.

She was understandably taken aback, concerned and sorry at the prospect of losing an academically inclined student, but fully understood that there are some decisions we just have to make.

Confession: I am and have always been a sook. The kind of person who cries over other people's sad stories, when watching sad movies, or because the other person is crying. I can't trust myself to hold it in and maintain a dignified appearance, however hard I try to program myself internally. I'm just wired that way.

But today, as I watched the panorama of emotion unfold on the teacher's face and read in it compassion, kindness and sincerity from one human to another, I felt a surge of power from within.

The imbalance that usually puts me on edge when I'm in the presence of an authoritative figure...Gone.

The physical tremors and feeling of coldness that usually come over me when I feel I have to defend or justify my actions...Gone.

The tears that automatically well up when I'm on the receiving end of someone's pity, which somehow triggers a "Poor me" reaction which makes me feel even more helpless and hopeless...Gone.

In its place was a sense of personal power, purpose and focus. I was actually able to manage my state and communicate as one equal to another. That to me is amazing because I tend to be easily overawed by others, especially authority figures like teachers, officials, religious leaders, and just anyone who seems supremely confident and certain of themselves.

Our little 15-minute chat went overtime because we were both so intensely in sync - for the first time all year - talking not only about Beth, but also about what I am doing in terms of career and studies. The teacher's curiosity gave me the opportunity to share about my coaching training and what coaching means and how it helps others. I was even able to give her a link to where I post the articles I write.

Two. I decided to email the teacher to say thank you.

But I didn't stop there, as I normally do.

I decided to make a reference to what we'd discussed by inserting two little 'P.S.'es: a link to my career website with a request for feedback, and an invitation to chat further about how my coaching knowledge might help the school community.

That latter bit, the call to action and the implied putting myself out there ("This is me, Serena Tan, doing what I love and looking to share it with those who are ready and willing to change"), is another milestone for me.

I have spent most of my life being invisible by choice, for fear of being in the spotlight. But I know I am doing myself and others a disservice if I fail to let my light shine. So even though I feel the fear (of the unknown, of not being good enough etc etc), I am doing it anyway.

Embracing the uncertainty.

Saying yes and working out how as I go along.

Forcing the ripple effect with one conscious, purposeful act.

Just to see where it leads.

Because I want to know where playing at 100% will take me to.

And if it doesn't work out, it's not failure. It's only feedback, nothing personal.

Two simple acts inspired in part by the life-changing training and resources TCI has given me.

This - to me - is Success.

What is your definition of Success?

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