On Using Our Gifts

After a 2-month break, I rejoined the musos for band practice last night.

It has been "easy" to skip Thu night practices. There's always one thing or another happening at home. Hubby gets home late, so I can't hand over and go for prac. Or J gets sick. Or the girls get clingy. Sometimes I just want to enjoy some family time.

It's good to be back.

I still wonder if my role as keyboardist isn't somewhat redundant when we already have an extremely versatile and gifted pianist who's also our de facto music director. Lately, the guitarist has taken on a bassist role using a separate keyboard as well.

While I've got the liberty to be as creative as I want with the organ and the keyboard that have been placed at my disposal, my skills aren't yet up to that level. So I tend to stick with what is safe and known - Pan Flute/Synth Strings for slow songs, Fantasia for fast songs. Sometimes I let go a little and experiment with different buttons just to hear the effects. Most of them work out well. Last night, I tried a button I'd never used before and the band leader went something like "Wow! How'd you do that? How do you know what button to press?"

To which the music director replied, "Cos we're musicians, that's why!"

I smiled. It's never that easy or obvious for me, so I would never dare to make such a bold statement.

My own interpretation is this. When God gives you a gift and you use it actively as an expression of who you are, you sometimes accomplish more than what you or someone else might have expected or imagined.

I do not know why God has given me the gift of music. I do not need an answer. I know I'm blessed to be a blessing, and that when I bless others, I will experience the deeper joy and fulfillment that come from living my God-given purpose.

The sense of inadequacy from not knowing enough and not being good enough may be what God uses to keep me in a right relationship with Him, so that I always remember who is the true Gift Giver, and who is the Steward.