Heath Ledger: 1979-2008

We were watching A Knight's Tale last night, one of two Heath Ledger movies being screened on TV as a tribute to the Australian actor, who had died suddenly on Jan 23 at the age of 28.

At every commercial break, these terse words would flash on the screen:
Heath Ledger 1979-2008

How bleak and harsh they were.

Surely they couldn't be referring to the lively, funny, big-hearted hero being portrayed on screen.

It just didn't seem right that he was cut off before the prime of his life.

"He's younger than you," observed hubby.

"Yup, only 28, what a pity. Would you say he has achieved more than most people?"

"Of course," came the instant reply.

"Isn't it obvious?" was unspoken.

It made me think.

How do you measure the impact of a person's life against his peers'?

How do you tell what a person's legacy was, and whether he had lived to his fullest potential?

Is the significance of a man's life dictated by the length of his days?

Is the significance of a man's life dictated by how many people knew him?

By "knew", I mean not only those who, by virtue of their professional achievements and choice of profession, attained great celebrity (or notoriety) and thus were known by name to thousands.

I refer also to the many who are quietly missed and fondly remembered, whose names appear only in an obituary in the local paper, if even that.

Their names are remembered only by those who knew them personally.
But oh, what fond, funny and heartwarming tales they would tell!

They might talk of how, wherever Mr A saw need, he would plant help and hope, and how this started a cycle of paying it forward.

The legacies of these quiet heroes will live on in lives touched by the simple, ordinary acts of love, courage and kindness that they faithfully performed while they lived.

If God has created every person on this earth for a specific mission and purpose, what then was Heath Ledger's mission and purpose?

When he died as tragically as he did, had he already fulfilled his mission and purpose?

What will people remember him for 10, 20, 50 years from now?

I suppose it depends on whom you ask.

1979-2008.

2 numbers that bookend the start and end of a person's time on earth, time that once gone can never be retrieved.

1979: A baby boy is born into a loving family. His parents rejoice at this new addition to the family, and dream of what his future might be.

2008: The same parents who have lovingly raised their son to adulthood and proudly watched as he achieved worldwide acclaim for his acting talent and wise choice of acting roles, now have the grievous task of burying him.

What a sobering reminder of how volatile the future can be.

"Teach me to number my days, O Lord, that I may be wise," says the Psalmist.

Helpful resource:
http://www.holybible.com/resources/living_learning/fall_1998/teach_numbers.htm

You Are Who You Are For A Reason

Poem by Russell Kelfer
From Chapter 2, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

You are who you are for a reason
You're part of an intricate plan
You're a precious and perfect unique design
Called God's special woman or man

You look like you look for a reason
Our God made no mistake
He knit you together within the womb
You're just what he wanted to make

The parents you had were the ones he chose
And no matter how you may feel
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind
And they bear the Master's seal

No, that trauma you faced was not easy
And God wept that it hurt you so
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow

You are who you are for a reason
You’ve been formed by the Master's rod
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

Anthony Robbins, NLP and Christianity

If you're a fan of self-empowerment and self-improvement, you will almost certainly have encountered Anthony Robbins at some point.

His books: Unlimited Power, Awaken The Giant Within and Giant Steps, are international bestsellers.

His seminars are legendary, as much for their drama (firewalking!) as for their cost.

While researching NLP and whether it conflicts with Christian doctrine, I came across these helpful resources:

• An article on ReachoutTrust.org about what NLP is and how its teachings are at odds with Christianity.
• An analysis of Anthony Robbins' teachings (Anthony Robbins and the Quest for Unlimited Power).

Learning Piano All Over Again

I've taken the next step in the process of shedding my classical training and all the joylessness and inhibition that came with it.

I Googled "teach piano to beginners" and found these cool sites:

www.piano-lessons-central.com
www.chordpiano.com
www.readmusicfast.com
www.playpiano.com

They are all written by US-based piano teacher Duane Shinn.

I love his video clips, especially the ones where he demonstrates complex chord progressions and improvises to different rhythms like jazz and swing (have always wanted to do that but don't know how).

I feel like I can really learn this new stuff, even if I've spent my entire childhood and adolescence steeped in a discipline I didn't enjoy.
I feel inspired to try different things the next time I go for band practice in church.
Inspiration is a beautiful thing!

The Magic Of Thinking Big

As long as you are going to go about your day thinking anyway, you may as well "think big".

Anyone can think small, and most people do.

In fact, most people keep themselves in the same place in life, doing the exact same thing, without significant growth or change because of limited or conditioned thinking.

Don't just think about what is possible, think about what might seem nearly impossible, that would require you to grow and move beyond who you currently know yourself to be.

Think about what you have always wanted to do or have in your life ... those things that your heart speaks of.

"If you can dream it, you can do it." ~Walt Disney

Thinking big equals going big.

Thinking small means staying small.

You decide.

You get to choose your thoughts.

Be outrageous and let your imagination fly.

This does not mean thinking unrealistic, pie-in-the-sky stuff, like being able to suddenly perform superhuman feats.

It means allowing yourself to stretch and believe in the beauty of your dreams.

Adapted from the Coaching Compass newsletter

Simply Music, Simply Divine

Do you, like most people, believe that a person is born musical?

That in order to master the keyboard well enough to play it for your own pleasure, you have to spend years learning it?

That only those who started learning when they were children would have any hope of getting really good at it?

While looking up the Internet for ways to teach piano to adult beginners, I came upon a fantastic site, SimplyMusic.com.

This is an Australian-developed program that teaches students to play music before they can read music, that focuses on hands-on learning rather than rote learning of theory and technique.

The program wants to make music accessible to everyone. In that sense, it's revolutionary.

I've been looking for something like this without knowing it.

I'm so excited I've printed the brochures off so I can study them properly.

If this is what it claims to be, I've just found my answer to something I've been struggling with - how to teach piano to adult learners without a piano teaching qualification and without being a concert-level pianist.

I've noticed a growing interest in my community from adults who just want to learn to play simple songs for their own pleasure and fulfilment. They're motivated, they're self-directed, they're hungry to learn. They don't want heaps of theory or to sit exams. Most importantly, they're adults, so we speak the same lingo. They're my kind of students, and I want to learn how to reach them and teach them so they can start to experience the joy and aliveness and power that Music has given me.

Just imagine the possibilities....I can hardly wait!

To Work Or Not To Work

That is the question.

Here we are again at the age-old dilemma:

Should I go back to f/t work or continue to stay home with the kids?
Is this the right time?
Is there such a thing as the right time?
Can I do both rather than either/or?
Is it selfish to want to be the best I can be, to want more than what being a SAHM can offer?
Will my kids' development and wellbeing suffer if I return to work f/t?

I am learning to think with an Abundance mentality, one that allows for the possibility of "plus" rather than "either/or", which can really limit your choices.

I find that my energies will always travel in the direction of those things I most love doing, and that financial recompense is not always the top criterion in determining how happy and fulfilled I will be.

As Stephen Covey says in The 8th Habit, where Passion, Vision, Need and Talent intersect, there will I find my Voice.

So if Internet marketing promises squillions in residual income but it doesn't give me the one-on-one human interaction I enjoy, it won't work for me. I may start with a bang but give up after a few months.

And if being a Legal Info Officer with VIC Legal Aid offers a salary that's middling but lets me feel like I'm able to help a section of the community that's disadvantaged, and also allows me to use my legal skills indirectly, then that might work out better for me.

Accepting The Musician In Me

Years ago when I was with the Music Ministry in church, I found myself grappling with feelings of uselessness and alienation.

The ministry was dominated by hip musos who jammed together effortlessly and were gifted at improvisation.

Despite years of classical training, I could barely follow the cues from the worship leader. I couldn't 'get' syncopated rhythms. Performing under the spotlight, especially on the synth, stressed me out. I found I was happier when I could 'hide' behind the piano.

Recently, I joined the musos at our new church here in Melbourne, and had to face my inner demons again.

What was different this time was that I was able to acknowledge and accept that I would always be this way: gifted at flowing, lyrical Kevin Kern-type piano music, not so gifted with songs that sound best with synth, electric guitar and drums.

I can certainly work at my weaknesses and improve on them. I did this for about 6 months between '05 and '06 at Believer Music in Sg. I enrolled in keyboard classes for church musos, started from the Basic level and worked my way up to Worship Dynamics II.

Learning with the aim of being a more effective worship muso really helped me. I could notice the difference when I played at church, and I found the confidence and inspiration I'd lost through atrophy and stagnation.

My current worship team mates have a definite preference for Hillsongs and Planetshakers, which makes it a bit of a steep climb for me. I've decided to focus on what I do well, which may mean being content to just thump out chords for the fast songs, and then, when a slower number comes along, seizing full creative licence to express myself the way I do best .

My justice or His?

As I reflected today on the never-ending issues we're experiencing with our tenants back home, I consciously tried to switch from fruitless fretting to problem-solving mode.

I opened my Bible and read the following:

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret - it leads only to evil.

Psalm 37:5-8

How apt and how powerful are those words of encouragement!
Even if things don't go my way, even if I make mistakes or my adversary makes a fool of me and "wins", God will make my righteousness shine if I commit my plans and problems to Him and trust Him to solve things His way.

Where Do You Grow Most - In Weakness Or In Strength?

Am reading Marcus Buckingham's excellent book, GO PUT YOUR STRENGTHS TO WORK.

Here's what he says in the intro.

"Faced with the world's indifference, you've got two options: either resign yourself to a life in which your strengths are largely irrelevant, or...learn how to make them relevant. Learn how to put them to work. It's your choice."

MB discusses 3 corporate myths.
1. As you grow, your personality changes.
2. You will grow the most in your areas of greatest weakness.
3. A good team member does whatever it takes to help the team.

Sound familiar?

#2 resonates the most for me. I'm so used to being told, even as a child, to work on my weaknesses and bad habits. Surely it makes sense to spend energy fixing what doesn't work, the way you spend more time on your weaker subjects at school or, in learning the piano, on those tricky notes in the score that your fingers keep tripping over?

But MB says we would grow so much more if we worked on expanding and using and applying our natural strengths. He does not say ignore your weaknesses. He says we will learn the most, grow the most, and develop the most in our areas of greater strength. Our strengths multiply and magnify us.

Isn't that amazing?

During practice for Sunday worship this week, I made an effort to focus on what I do best. That means playing sensitively and intuitively, playing "in the gaps", allowing others to be in the spotlight if that is their style, and doing this without feeling that I was somehow a lesser musician for not being the loudest "voice".

It's hard work. Part of me is driven by the need to excel and to shine. That part feels I am somehow a failure when my music is eclipsed by the many other instruments that are willing to lead.

I was therefore surprised when, after Sunday service, more than one person came up to express appreciation for my playing.

What I've learnt is that when I channel my energies towards my natural strengths, I am being authentic and being me, and it makes a difference to people.

Between Valley and Peak

What do you call the place between a valley and a peak?

I've no idea, but I do know I spend a lot of time there, struggling not to stay too long in the cauldron of I-could-kick-myself moments, and grizzling about the chaos of the present.

I hate chaos.

The domestic kind must be the worst. I'm not particularly gifted in organizing and managing the household, and only occasionally feel a need to sort, organize and restore order. By that time, of course, the task requires Herculean effort, which makes me even more grouchy.

My hubby thinks I do very little housework at all.

Yesterday, for instance, I managed to unpack a few boxes, which contributed noticeably to the improved amount of walking space in the dining room, and he was all praise. Today, I was only able to tick some minor items off my to-do list (make appointment with optometrist to get Beth fitted for glasses, unpack and sort toiletries, see that gardener removes dead trees), and he joked that perhaps I had merely shifted things from one part of the room to the other!

Obviously, we need to work on our expectations...

I question my motives for being a SAHM every now and then. I sometimes wonder if I've chosen this path primarily to escape the rigours of corporate life (a cop-out?), or to devote myself to the family.

I have to work hard at being a nurturing mum as it doesn't come naturally. I'm not one of those mums who are happy to spend all day playing with and attending to the kids. And I definitely don't cope well with having other people's kids over without notice.

I survive on a curious mix of "being there" without always being there.

If you know what I mean.

In the sweet moments when I am fully present with the kids (and they know when that is, esp J, who is all sweetness and light when I'm paying attention to her, but grizzly and whiny if I multitask), I know I've made the right decision. But when I'm itching to write or to curl up and read The Age (okay, maybe just the My Career or Domain sections) without someone hanging on to my leg or demanding to be carried or wanting help in the toilet, I wonder if I've made the wrong decision.

Time is hurtling by more quickly than ever, each year is more exhausting than the one before, and it'll be another 4 years before J is as independent as Beth is now.
Can I take another 4 years of this?
When is a good time to get going on my business and career aspirations?
Is there even a "good" time?

Mind-Renewing Books

On Sunday, I picked up the following books at the library:

LEARN TO EARN by Lynch & Rothchild
THE PRESENT by Spencer Johnson, MD
SCREW IT! LET'S DO IT by Richard Branson
TOP 10 DUMB CAREER MISTAKES by Lona O'Connor

I've been so swamped lately that reading has taken a back seat, so I was really glad to get into these.

I read The Present very quickly, and initially thought it somewhat simplistic. My first reaction was: a book like this can be a bestseller??

But as I got to the end, I realized I agreed with a lot of what was said. I recognized the traits about myself that I don't like, the ones that have held me back from succeeding.

There's quite a bit to chew on in the days ahead, but the main ideas I've taken away can be very simply phrased:

Learn from the Past (not live in the past, which I sometimes do when I hold on to past glories or past hurts)
Live in the Present (which is where I'm not, because I'm either regretting past mistakes or worrying about things which have not yet happened)
Plan for the Future (not just dream about the future - big difference there, as the dream is the beginning, but the plan helps you get there)

Interestingly, when I read Richard Branson's book next, it seemed to reinforce what I'd just learnt from The Present.

Here's what Branson says on p66:

Always living in the future can slow us down as much as always looking behind. Many people are always looking ahead and they never seem content. They look for quick fixes, like winning the lottery. I know that goals are important. Money is important. But the bottom line is money is just a means to an end, not an end in itself. And what is going on now is just as important as what you're planning for the future. So, even though my diary is full for months ahead, I have learned to live for the moment.

Isn't that another way to say we must learn to live in The Present?

Living in the Present is very hard. When I'm feeding my baby, my mind is on what else I need to accomplish that day. When I'm on the phone, I'm sometimes guilty of reading email at the same time. I pride myself on my ability to multitask, but really, this is just a thin disguise for always wanting to be somewhere else.

What particularly made me smile about Branson's book is how he constantly acknowledges the role of his family in helping him succeed, and how he in turn tries to instil the same groundedness, unconditional love and family closeness in his children.

This is a man of balance, a man who has got his priorities right.

Another gem I picked up is from a story about how he raised funds to buy an old manor house in Oxford to set up a studio to make records. He was still 7,500 pounds short after borrowing from the bank and from his trust fund, and his dad suggested he talk to his Auntie Joyce. She offered to lend him the money, to be paid back with interest when he could afford it. When he started to thank her, she said, "What's money for anyway? It's to make things happen."

That's what she said! Money is To Make Things Happen. To make dreams come true. To help people in need. To solve problems. To heal. To educate. To build goodwill. To give options and choices to those who have it.

That, I think, is a very healthy, wholesome and practical way to view money. I have many hang-ups about money which are rooted in the way I was raised and by social conditioning. I recognize this and am trying to work through the needless emotional and psychological turmoil caused by my false beliefs.

Money is To Make Things Happen.

By itself, it will not make me happy, because I will always encounter something I can't afford. I should not crave it for itself, as though once I achieve a fixed dollar figure, it will guarantee me financial security and peace of mind. Money can be lost in any number of ways.

BUT I cannot run the other way and label money as the root of all evil either, as that is just a way to avoid making responsible decisions about how to use money.

I need to keep reminding myself where money comes from (God) and what it is for (to make things happen, to do good, to share God's bounty).

Reluctant Entertainer: Entertaining vs Hospitality

This Crosswalk article captured my attention with its headline: Reluctant Entertainers: Hospitality Is A Gift You Can Give.

I am definitely a Reluctant Entertainer. I can think of so many occasions when the thought of people coming to visit stressed me out totally.

To me, having visitors means putting my home on display. Being judged. Being vulnerable to someone else's approval/disdain.

If that sounds terribly negative, it's because I'm a perfectionist by nature.

If I have guests over, the house has to be immaculate.

Not necessarily Martha Stewart style (I'm not Martha, plus I have 2 little ones), but certainly the toys, unironed clothes and dirty laundry must be hidden away, the floor vacuumed and mopped, tables and chairs aligned, the bathroom basin polished and vanity area cleared.

Nothing stresses me out more than suddenly noticing that a table or chair is not perfectly lined up with the floor tiles.

It's mad, I know, but it's this sort of purposeless detail that drives me to distraction.

That, and what to cook/serve.

I'm a middling cook to start with. My hubby's domestic skills are honed to a far higher degree, plus he is a very relaxed, laid-back sort. If the curry doesn't turn out perfect, he'll just laugh and apologize. But if it happened to me, I'd be stressing out thinking "Arrgh! What'll I do now? What will they think of me? I'm a failure!" etc etc.

Instead of focussing on being present with guests and enjoying their company, I'd be thinking ahead to what needs doing next. Very Martha, isn't it. Like the Martha that Jesus lovingly chided for trying too hard.

I think I'm improving a bit though.

Now when my cousin comes by, I sometimes toss out all inhibitions and invite her to stay for a meal. Even if there's nothing much in the house except canned food.

I may even be turning into a sort of domestic goddess of comfort food of the canned variety.

You know, you can whip up a pretty decent meal with Campbell's cream of mushroom soup + baked beans with spam...

Watch This Video: Why I Love To Go To Work Everyday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goxxbZVSxxc

For more great stories like this, go here: http://wahm.sitesell.com/internetmarketing2018.html

Fabulous Footy Analogy

I love the opening paragraph of this article from The Sunday Age.

In football, as in life,
actions become habits,
habits become character,
and character becomes destiny.

Isn't that beautiful?

The article praised the team spirit and mental strength of 2007 Brownlow medallist Jimmy Bartel of the AFL Premiership Cup champions Geelong Cats.

There's a lot of truth in the quote.

What we do daily, over time, becomes a habit.

Good ones make my character. Bad ones derail me.

If I choose to form good habits and build my character, I set myself up for success.

If I choose laziness, procrastination and decision making based on wrong values, I set myself up for personal failure.

Each choice leads to a different destiny.

Which destiny do I choose, short-term gratification or long-term fulfilment?

The choice is not always obvious or easy.

Saying yes to LTF means saying no to pleasant distractions along the way. The latest property listings, Sunday Age and even the mid-afternoon cuppa must wait while I get through the hard work of writing an article, calling a potential business partner or packing for our house move.

Aus Universities Become A Mecca With Their Call To Prayer

http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/australian-universities-become-a-mecca-with-their-call-to-prayer/2007/09/21/1189881777596.html

2 things from this article made me smile:

1. According to the Saudi Ambassador, Aus has replaced the US as the most popular overseas destination for Saudi students.
The popularity of Aus is due to: (a) good reports from students here flowing back to Saudi Arabia; (b) the high standard of education here; (c) universities have been supportive in providing prayer and ablution rooms.

2. On concerns that potential terrorists could enter Aus with an increase in foreign students, Adjunct Prof Charles Mott, who promotes LaTrobe Uni's international relations, had this to say: "Our experience with Arab students and wider Muslim students coming here has been very good. You have to have in mind, for many coming to a country like this, it represents a substantial cultural change...these students have fitted in very well."

The Saudi Ambassador's view: Education is vital "if you want...to build relations and understand each other's culture", and that a relationship built solely around trade "never builds relationships".

Reflection
How wise and wonderful are these words!
That they come from 2 men of culturally diverse backgrounds, both no doubt men of influence in their own spheres, speaks well for the efforts of all who seek after peace.

Through the free exchange of informed views, we begin to build an awareness of ourselves and of our fellow human beings, and to appreciate the differences of race, language, religion and culture that make each of us unique.

Education is the key to understanding, and the bridge across all man-made barriers.

News like this makes me glad, proud, thankful and humbled.
We are inundated with bad news everyday, and a bit of good news is a powerful antidote to the gloom and doom.

I feel blessed to live in the midst of those who take the trouble and make the effort to show respect for another's cultural and religious needs.

When this other is a student who is here to learn, imagine the power and influence of this positive experience on him when he goes back to his own country.
Who knows what wonderful things he may one day do because he received hospitality and understanding as a student in a foreign country?

4 Simple Questions To Save Money Every Time You Shop!

by Wayne Berry

Negotiating is a term often associated with high level board room meetings and political and international wrangling, but the truth is we all have opportunities to negotiate every day.

Once we recognise this, we are set to save cash every time we buy.

The fact is everything is negotiable. Everything! The problem is that in our culture, most Australians are "conditioned" to believe that either most things are not negotiable or that it's not "nice" to negotiate.

To prove my point I went shopping one Saturday morning a few weeks ago with a friend and his wife who had both read my book "Negotiating In The Age Of Integrity" but were still not sure that they could really use the ideas there.

Read here to discover how Wayne Berry's experiment went.

Simple Strategies To Success

By Jim Rohn
Published 09/20/2006

Jim Rohn is renowed as one of America's foremost business philosophers www.jimrohn.com

My first mentor, Mr. Shoaff, over a five-year period of time before he died at age 49, taught me some extraordinarily simple things.

He only went through the 9th grade in school. He never finished high school, never went to college, and never went to a university. So he put his experiences and ideas in very simple language, which, I think for me - kid from the farms of Idaho - was so important.

When I would say, "This is all the company pays."

Mr. Shoaff would say, "No, that is all they pay YOU."

I thought, "That is a new way to look at it."

I told him things cost too much.

But he said, "No, you can't afford them."

Well, that was a new concept for me.

He promised that if I would improve, then I would qualify for more money. So I learned that we don't have to work on the company, we have to work on ourselves.

If it had been technical, I would have missed it. If it had been mystic, I would have backed away. But it was just basic, blunt "a-b-c" familiar stuff that I hadn't thought of before. For me it was the beginning of what he called "personal development".

Mr. Shoaff also taught me that life puts some of the more valuable things on the high shelf so that you can't get to them until you qualify. If you want the things on the high shelf, you must stand on the books you read.

With every book you read, you get to stand a little higher.

And the "biggie" that forever had an impact on me, "Success is something you attract by the person you become."

That phrase changed my life. Success is not to be pursued, but to be attracted by the person you become.

Put your energy into becoming a better you, the best you. Learn the skills. Practice the skills. Attract the success.

These simple strategies and ideas helped change my life, forever, for the better.

Thank you, once again, Mr. Shoaff.

Planning and Decision-Making: A Biblical Perspective

By Os Hillman

Any enterprise is built by wise planning, becomes strong through common sense, and profits wonderfully by keeping abreast of the facts.
(Proverbs 24:3,4 LB)

Owning and operating an advertising agency meant I was required to develop strategic plans for companies. This meant developing plans several years ahead.

I have always believed in planning ahead. I have written many strategic plans for companies over the years.

However, there was a time when I experienced a constant state of uncertainty in my business and personal life, and I realized I could only plan so much. Things changed from day to day.

This inability to plan more than a week, or in some cases a day in advance, caused me to rethink the whole idea of planning as it relates to life and work. God was doing something in my life that could not be planned. So, if I sought to develop specific plans around what I thought God was doing, Iran adrift. It was only when I knew what God was leading that I could plan effectively.

It's a problem of using a human, logical approach versus a Spirit-led approach.

I have discovered in working with so many Christian organizations over the years, and even in my life, that human planning without the Spirit of God leading in that planning leads to presumption, failure and disappointment.

The people of Israel often fell into the habit of their own reasoning apart from the spirit of God. This frustrated God because He actually desired to accomplish things in a shorter timetable, but was unable to due to Israel's disobedience.

I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.

But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.

If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways, how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes! (Psalm 81:10-14)

God can accomplish more in six months through a people yielded to Him than we could accomplish in 70 years without Him. God wanted to accomplish His plan for the people of Israel a lot faster, but their disobedience prevented them from allowing Him to move on their behalf.

I must confess that it is a whole lot easier to develop a written plan for my life and execute that plan than to depend on God each day. Total dependence is a humbling condition. Unfortunately, that is exactly how God wants us to walk with Him -- in total dependence on Him day-by-day.

God is tearing apart the plans of many men and women in the workplace today because He wants to rebuild them in the way they operate in life and work. He wants total dependence upon Him, not just an occasional prayer of guidance.

George Mueller
George Mueller was a pastor in England during the nineteenth century. He was concerned that God's people had become very discouraged. They no longer looked for God to do anything unusual. They no longer trusted God to answer prayers. They had lost their faith.

Mueller began to pray as God led Him. His prayers were for God to lead him to a work that could only be explained by the people as an act of God. George wanted the people to learn that their God was a faithful, prayer-answering God.

He came upon the verse in Psalm 81:10 -- "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." God began to lead him in a walk of faith that became an outstanding testimony to all who hear of his story.

When he felt led of God to do some work, he prayed for the resources needed and told no one of the need. He wanted all to know that God had provided for the need only in answer to prayer and faith. During his ministry in Bristol, Mueller started Scriptural Knowledge Institute for distribution of Scripture and for religious education. He also began an orphanage.

By the time of his death, George Mueller had been used by God to build four orphan houses that cared for 2,000 children at a time. Over 10,000 children had been provided for through the orphanages. He distributed over eight million dollars that had been given to him in answer to prayer. When he died at 93, his worldly possessions were valued at $800.

Oswald Chambers made an observation about planning. "Much of modern Christian enterprise is 'Ishmael.' Born not of God, but of an inordinate desire to do God’s will in our own way – the one thing our Lord never did.

"The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. (Psalm 33:10-11)

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8)

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose thatprevails. (Proverbs 19:21)

Our biggest problem with planning is that we plan and carry out things in our own wisdom that only God has a right to determine. We cannot know the when, or where, or how of God's will until He tells us. God's whole method of directing us is designed for us to experience Him in the process of walking with Him. It is process-based versus outcome-based.

The methods that God used to accomplish His purposes were creative and often illogical to the human mind. Consider God requiring Joshua to walk around the city of Jericho seven times, or standing at the waters edge of the Jordan before God parted the waters for the people to pass on dry ground. Consider the blind man being told to wash his eyes with mud in order to receive sight. Consider Gideon being charged to fight with only 300 against many thousands.

The stories are numerous. They all demonstrate one undeniable fact about how God operates and plans. He does not want us depending on our own resources in any area of our lives. He wants us to depend on Him for every area. He wants us to live in the supernatural as compared to the natural.

Confirming Decisions
Now that we have established some guidelines for planning, we need to discuss ways to confirm our plans. There are times when we must make quick decisions during the course of a day and we need to have the freedom to use our God-given wisdom to make those decisions.

God speaks throughmany different ways and as we become one with Him, we become more integrated in our ability to move and be led by the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:14). The scriptures do not indicate that God was constantly communicating moment by moment with His people. However, God does encourage us to seek Him moment by moment in our lives.

Not every decision we must make can afford, nor is it necessary, to be confirmed. Jesus encourages us to abide in the vine, which means we should be walking in close fellowship with Him and know that He is guiding us throughout our day.

However, the scriptures also convey a principle of confirmation that can greatly reduce the frequency of making poor decisions and allow us to make good plans. I would highly recommend that any major decision be confirmed through a few different sources.

F. B. Meyer’s Formula
One night as the famous Bible teacher F.B. Meyer stood on the deck of a ship approaching land, he wondered how the crew knew when and how to safely steer to the dock. It was a stormy night, and visibility was low.

Meyer, standing on the bridge and peering through the window, asked “Captain, how do you know when to turn this ship into that narrow harbor?”

“That’s an art,” replied the captain. “Do you see those three red lights on the shore? When they’re all in a straight line I go right in!”

Later Meyer said: “When we want to know God’s will, there are three things which always occur: the inward impulse, the Word of God, and the trend of circumstances…Never act until these three things agree.”

The Role of Spouses in Making Decisions
When John Benson decided to make some financial investments in a new business venture, he was very excited about the possibilities for a handsome financial return. His business and financial background had served him well.

John felt strongly that his wife Jenny would not understand the complexity of his investment, so he casually mentioned it to her. When she asked a few simple questions, John became defensive and justified his investing in the venture.

Jenny felt uneasy about the investment, but since he had been so successful in the past, she laid aside her reservations and left the responsibility up to John.

A year later, after investing a large sum of money, John received a phone call from the investment company. It seems that the principals of the company had fled the country and were not to be found. All the investors who had put money in the company were going to lose their investment with no ability to recoup it. Many astute investors had been taken in on the scam.

This story could be retold repeatedly across the world. God’s principles for making decisions require input from both spouses, regardless of their level of expertise.

I learned this lesson the hard way after making many independent decisions outside the counsel of my wife. Today, whenever I am faced with a major decision, I first consult the Lord, and then I consult with my wife. She may disagree totally with something that seems very straightforward to me, but I have learned not to not move forward if she is not in agreement. She does not need to know all the details, nor does she have to have expertise. God has placed in her a “chip” called“intuition”. That intuition cannot explain why she feels the way she does, she just knows when something is not right.

Conversely, husbands bring a totally different perspective that may give an alternative side to asituation that the wife has never considered. God has called married couples to be one. If we seek to make decisions independently, then we are benefiting from only 50% of the intended resource God has placed within our grasp.

In marriage, this stewardship of decisions requires two people. God blesses this union by honoring the decisions made with the motive of glorifying God and relying on His Spirit to lead in our decision-making process.

Confirmation Through Others
The scriptures encourage us to seek advice and counsel from others. This counsel needs to be from other Godly people who share the same values and goals that we have.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22)

The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.(Proverbs 12:15)

Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. (Proverbs 13:10)

Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will bewise. (Proverbs 19:20)

Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance.(Proverbs 20:18)

Keeping A Balance With Counsel from Others
We should strive to maintain balance when seeking input from others and making decisions as we feel God is leading. This process is designed to confirm direction for which we are seeking confirmation.

Paul was sensitive to getting too heavy-handed in the confirmation process. He offered advice but was not the enforcer of someone’s decision.

And here is my advice about what is best for you in this matter. (2 Corinthians 8:10)

There is a principle of agreement among two or three individuals throughout the scriptures to confirm a decision, but even this does not negate a person’s right to make independent decisions. The requirement for efficient administration frequently requires single points of decision-making. Where there is willingness and trust to receive input, there is probably also humility, faith, and grace for God to work His pleasure in His servant. Where there is unwillingness, the opposite is true.

There have been times in my life where I have felt strongly about a certain issue only to receive feedback from those close to me which revealed that I was not accurate in my assessment of the situation. I have learned to yield in such situations, trusting that God is working through those in whom I am accountable.

Peace of Mind
Peace of mind is another important confirmation for decisions. If you do not have peace about a decision, you should wait until God gives you peace. This does not mean your decision may not have some tension due to the faith aspect of it, but deep down you should have a peace that it is the right decision.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:6-7)

I hope these thoughts will help you as you seek to plan and make decisions through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Courage for the Timid and Insecure

Some of us are timid by nature.

Prone to self-doubt, we require constant affirmation and approval which others are not always prepared or able to give.

This sometimes extends to matters of faith, when we allow our relationship with God to be clouded by what a third party - a loved one, a concerned friend, a fellow Christian, an unbeliever - thinks.

We need to remind ourselves that we are all imperfect. Even the most saintly person has sinned at some point in thought, word or deed. When we stand before God on Judgment Day, we shall then see ourselves and each other clearly, and there will be surprises.

The Bible warns that the word of God is living and active. It judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Heb. 4:12), the very things that are invisible to the outside world. The world prizes appearance and image above truth. The Bible says nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight (Heb. 4:13). The eyes of the Lord are in every place keeping watch on the evil and the good.

What comfort then, for those who are timorous of spirit and do not know how to assert themselves effectively?

What encouragement can we offer those who crave external confirmation that they are doing the right thing?

What advice do we give someone who is in need?

Paul says we should hold firmly to the faith we profess, because we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God. (Heb. 4:14) It is not in our imperfect selves or in another's opinion that we should trust (thank God!), but in the One who is perfectly trustworthy and dependable - Jesus.

We rejoice because not only is Jesus deserving of our trust, He is also compassionate and merciful. He does not stand afar and mock our weak attempts to live right. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet without sin. (Heb. 4:15)

If we remember that no one is above sin, we will have a healthier view of others and of ourselves.

We will learn to expect less from those who always seem to have their act together, who can seem to do no wrong, because we know that inside, they are as fallible as anyone else.

We will learn to be gentle with ourselves when we slip, because Jesus is Himself gentle and merciful.

Does this mean we can compromise our morality or close an eye to sin because it is to be expected of a fallen world?

No. The Bible makes it very clear that we must give account to God for the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts and everything we do in this lifetime.

How then should we ask for help?

Heb. 4:16 says that those who need help can ask for it and receive it. Not in a grovelling manner, as though God might say 'no' or 'go away', but with confidence, because He is a God of mercy and grace.

With God we have no need to "stand on ceremony", feel "pai seh" or feel we are unworthy of good things. A child never doubts that Mummy or Daddy will give him the peanut butter sandwich or bike that he asks for. So too can we go to God naturally and confidently to ask for what we need.

This may be a difficult thing to accept for those accustomed to being told they are unworthy of love or plain "not good enough". Not all of us have had the blessing of being raised in a loving, accepting environment.

But with God, we can start anew.

We can ask for courage to confront, accept and overcome our imperfections.

We can ask for a healthy dose of self-love so that we can begin to lead fruitful lives, unencumbered by memories of past pain and rejection.

We Can Ask.