4 days to go, and we only decided THIS AFTERNOON to accept a counter offer from FJ Worldwide Movers to pack, warehouse, ship, clear and deliver our personal effects from SIN to MEL.
Why so last minute?
We were still trying to drive down the cost of the process, that's why.
It finally came down to 2 choices: go with my pal Eric's suggestion of hiring professional movers while he takes care of the sea freight and the Oz part of things, or engage a one-stop service provider like FJ for a fixed fee.
What helped us decide was the professional demeanour of FJ's rep John Wong, who made a 2nd trip to our place this afternoon to survey our (dismal) packing progress, explained what the breakdown of figures given by Eric translated into in $, and made a counter offer that pretty much matched what Eric's co had offered.
End result: JW lowered the quote by $500. So for a fixed figure of $3.5k, I can now sit back, put my puffy feet up and let the pros worry about what goes where and how to get our things from A to B.
I wouldn't say the exercise was a waste of time. Nothing's ever wasted. Now I know how physically gruelling it can be to do your own packing. I know what goes into a co's consideration before a quote is given. I also know how much margin there is for negotiating. I wouldn't have known all this if there hadn't been a competitor to compare with, or if I didn't have a contact in the freight forwarding industry who was willing to disclose info normally known only to industry practitioners.
So thanks a whole heap Eric! :-)
And thank YOU, Lord. *lol*
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
What To Love About Money
Some believers may wonder why I'm so fascinated by the subject of Money. They may even feel that I'm being carnal or unspiritual since the Bible clearly warns against serving God and Mammon, and says that the love of money is the root of all evil (1 Tim 6:10).
The truth is, the M word makes me uncomfortable.
I want more, but feel guilty even thinking about it.
As a child, the subject was never discussed at the dinner table, nor later when I was growing up.
The prevailing wisdom was that if you studied hard, got a good job (preferably as a doctor or lawyer) and were a good saver, you would always have money.
No one in the family had money struggles, not even Mum who was a single parent.
There weren't any entrepreneurs either, and I was never particularly curious how people made money buying and selling goods and services.
It never occurred to me that there were ways to make money other than getting a job.
Now that I'm a parent and a freelancer with uncertain income, the M word has suddenly assumed a new urgency in my life.
How do I make more than I need so that I can live comfortably without worrying about monthly expenses, depleting my savings or having to depend on others?
That question has taken me on a learning curve of trying to understand multiple streams of income, changing trends in the workplace, Internet marketing, affiliate programs, working for others vs working for self, retiring early and rich, the power of MLMs - and on and on.
But I digress.
The purpose of this post is really to share an article I read on Os Hillman's website. You can read the full article here.
For those who prefer quick bites, here's the 10-Point Summary:
Dear Lord,
Teach me a right perspective of Money so that I will not be a financial slave - either discontented and craving for more, or tempted to take shortcuts because my family's needs are not being met. Help me rejoice in all circumstances and trust that you are my Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides.
Amen.
The truth is, the M word makes me uncomfortable.
I want more, but feel guilty even thinking about it.
As a child, the subject was never discussed at the dinner table, nor later when I was growing up.
The prevailing wisdom was that if you studied hard, got a good job (preferably as a doctor or lawyer) and were a good saver, you would always have money.
No one in the family had money struggles, not even Mum who was a single parent.
There weren't any entrepreneurs either, and I was never particularly curious how people made money buying and selling goods and services.
It never occurred to me that there were ways to make money other than getting a job.
Now that I'm a parent and a freelancer with uncertain income, the M word has suddenly assumed a new urgency in my life.
How do I make more than I need so that I can live comfortably without worrying about monthly expenses, depleting my savings or having to depend on others?
That question has taken me on a learning curve of trying to understand multiple streams of income, changing trends in the workplace, Internet marketing, affiliate programs, working for others vs working for self, retiring early and rich, the power of MLMs - and on and on.
But I digress.
The purpose of this post is really to share an article I read on Os Hillman's website. You can read the full article here.
For those who prefer quick bites, here's the 10-Point Summary:
- Money is morally neutral. It is a tool given by God, to be used but not glorified, appreciated but not elevated.
- Definition of Money: the right to the goods and services of others.
- Why Money should be appreciated. "Every coffee bean, every garment, every dollar put into an offering bucket represents the combined labor of a hundred servants. It represents the forgone desires of some precious soul who could have done something else with his or her time and labor. As Christians we must see money for what it represents – an unbroken chain of love, leading back to the Father." (Wow.)
- Wealth vs Riches. Riches = an abundance of money and possessions. Wealth = the ability to create riches by controlling the means of production. Wealth is others-oriented. Wealth gives us the ability to provide for others without depleting our resources. Wealth gives us the ability to create a spiritual oasis. (I like the idea of being able to provide for others without worrying about depleting my resources.)
- Wealth is a blessing from God. We should stop thinking that wealth = carnality.
- All wealth comes from creating VALUE. In creating value, we have the opportunity to be like God, who is always creating for others. In return, we earn the right to receive value from others. A business is nothing more than an organization that creates value. We can create value by enhancing our skills, being creative, or by simply serving. (Makes sense to me. So what needs can I identify and fulfill today?)
- Break the poverty spirit. How? By working. Stop trying to get something for nothing. Stop trying to get rich quick. Instead, create value for others. (The writer suggests that MLMs and network marketing are get-rich-quick schemes. How true is this?)
- 2 views of Money: the Consumer and the Producer. The Producer asks: How can I serve? The Consumer asks: What's in it for me?
- Entrepreneurial spirit vs Exploitational spirit. The most successful entrepreneurs are not the most greedy but those who are passionate about finding - and solving - the greatest needs.
- Biblical view of work. Work was given by God as man's primary activity on earth. Work transforms us and helps us create value for others. Too many are preoccupied about retiring early and never having to work again. Why would you want to do that?
Dear Lord,
Teach me a right perspective of Money so that I will not be a financial slave - either discontented and craving for more, or tempted to take shortcuts because my family's needs are not being met. Help me rejoice in all circumstances and trust that you are my Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides.
Amen.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Today I Am Thankful For...
Friends & Family.
Last night, my best friend called from New York to chat. She will be back next month for 2 weeks, but won't be in time to send us off. I'm just glad to hear from her. It isn't cheap calling long distance, so her calls mean a lot.
My aunts and uncles have been remarkably supportive in emotional and practical ways. As a family, we're not known to be a demonstrative lot, so it's really touching to find ourselves reconnecting on a new level of familial trust and goodwill.
We've been blessed to have so many people praying for us, wishing us well and letting us know they're sad to see us go. Isn't it funny how we always need an "occasion" to prompt us into showing our true feelings?
We've had offers of financial assistance, offers of help with packing, offers of rides now we're car-less, friends buying us lunches and dinners and showering us with gifts.
How wonderful it is to be surrounded by so much love!
Things falling into place.
Many are a man's plans, but the Lord directs his steps.
We are learning all the time to let go and let God take care of things. This includes even the tiniest details of the logistics associated with the move. When we started out, we had an overwhelmingly long list of questions and to-do's. That list has been debated over, worked on, updated endlessly over the past weeks, and it's just amazing to see how things which once seemed impossible have now made it to the "done" list.
We still don't have all the answers (can hubby get a job in Melb? can we resolve our investment property dilemma without incurring a huge financial loss? will i have a safe and smooth delivery?), but we're not looking to ourselves for the answers. We're trusting the One who made it possible for us to live, breathe, think and dream. It's enough that He's in control.
The peace that surpasses all understanding.
Some people are incredulous that we're going to Melb "just like that", with practically no safety nets in place. It's a matter of perspective really. How much $ and possessions does a family need to be happy?
Over the weekend, there were write-ups in the papers about families with 7 or 8 kids managing on one income. Hubby and I salute the courage and principles of the parents. Have you noticed how they all say the same thing? That it's doable, but it's not for everyone. That there will be sacrifices and adjustments to expectations. That if you can learn to live with less, you'll actually manage quite well. It's quite a simple recipe for living contentedly, isn't it: cut out the frills, focus on needs. Reminds me of Stephen Covey's Big Rocks principle. Fill your jar with the big rocks first (the things that really matter), and if there's still space, you put in the pebbles (the frills and distractions and negotiables). Not the other way round.
Our peace comes from knowing that God loves us and has promised to meet our needs. (He said nothing about luxuries though!) However rough things get, we can trust in Him to provide, just as He did for the sparrows and the lilies. Let's not impose our own ideas on what we want and what we think we need to make us happy, and just let Him do His work. I suspect we'll be pleasantly surprised when the blessings and provisions start pouring in.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things (food, shelter, clothing) will be added unto you.
Last night, my best friend called from New York to chat. She will be back next month for 2 weeks, but won't be in time to send us off. I'm just glad to hear from her. It isn't cheap calling long distance, so her calls mean a lot.
My aunts and uncles have been remarkably supportive in emotional and practical ways. As a family, we're not known to be a demonstrative lot, so it's really touching to find ourselves reconnecting on a new level of familial trust and goodwill.
We've been blessed to have so many people praying for us, wishing us well and letting us know they're sad to see us go. Isn't it funny how we always need an "occasion" to prompt us into showing our true feelings?
We've had offers of financial assistance, offers of help with packing, offers of rides now we're car-less, friends buying us lunches and dinners and showering us with gifts.
How wonderful it is to be surrounded by so much love!
Things falling into place.
Many are a man's plans, but the Lord directs his steps.
We are learning all the time to let go and let God take care of things. This includes even the tiniest details of the logistics associated with the move. When we started out, we had an overwhelmingly long list of questions and to-do's. That list has been debated over, worked on, updated endlessly over the past weeks, and it's just amazing to see how things which once seemed impossible have now made it to the "done" list.
We still don't have all the answers (can hubby get a job in Melb? can we resolve our investment property dilemma without incurring a huge financial loss? will i have a safe and smooth delivery?), but we're not looking to ourselves for the answers. We're trusting the One who made it possible for us to live, breathe, think and dream. It's enough that He's in control.
The peace that surpasses all understanding.
Some people are incredulous that we're going to Melb "just like that", with practically no safety nets in place. It's a matter of perspective really. How much $ and possessions does a family need to be happy?
Over the weekend, there were write-ups in the papers about families with 7 or 8 kids managing on one income. Hubby and I salute the courage and principles of the parents. Have you noticed how they all say the same thing? That it's doable, but it's not for everyone. That there will be sacrifices and adjustments to expectations. That if you can learn to live with less, you'll actually manage quite well. It's quite a simple recipe for living contentedly, isn't it: cut out the frills, focus on needs. Reminds me of Stephen Covey's Big Rocks principle. Fill your jar with the big rocks first (the things that really matter), and if there's still space, you put in the pebbles (the frills and distractions and negotiables). Not the other way round.
Our peace comes from knowing that God loves us and has promised to meet our needs. (He said nothing about luxuries though!) However rough things get, we can trust in Him to provide, just as He did for the sparrows and the lilies. Let's not impose our own ideas on what we want and what we think we need to make us happy, and just let Him do His work. I suspect we'll be pleasantly surprised when the blessings and provisions start pouring in.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things (food, shelter, clothing) will be added unto you.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Am I Life Coach Material?
I've been researching the distance learning courses available for counselling, psychology, and coaching - all areas I find immensely attractive because they are in line with my personal mission: to be equipped to make a difference in people's lives.
I am particularly keen in exploring coaching (life and career) as a profession because of its emphasis on the present and future as opposed to counselling, which works to fix problems caused by past emotional baggage.
I can see myself helping my clients attain clarity about their life purposes, adapt to life cycle changes and make important career decisions. These are areas readily relevant in my own life and about which I have strong convictions and the most interest. My personal experiences, especially the mistakes I've made and the lessons I've learnt, can be a springboard for discussion and sharing.
Courses I'm researching
Diploma in Professional Counselling, Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors
Career Development Professional Certificate, Worklife College of Worklife Practitioners
Certificate IV in Life Coaching, Life Coaching Institute
Certified Professional Coach, International Coach Academy
Certified Christian Life Coach, Professional Christian Coaching & Counselling Academy
What I'm sensing is that I am called not just to be a life coach but to share the truth of God through the coaching process. This means a secular approach just won't do, even if my client base may initially be smaller or my practice less lucrative. There has to be a common understanding and foundation established right from the start, one that is based on biblical principles. Without this understanding and foundation, I would not be able to practise to the fullest extent of my calling, and my clients would not be able to benefit from hearing truths that they need to hear.
Will continue to seek His will and guidance in this area. It is no small thing to have the power to influence other people's lives.
I am particularly keen in exploring coaching (life and career) as a profession because of its emphasis on the present and future as opposed to counselling, which works to fix problems caused by past emotional baggage.
I can see myself helping my clients attain clarity about their life purposes, adapt to life cycle changes and make important career decisions. These are areas readily relevant in my own life and about which I have strong convictions and the most interest. My personal experiences, especially the mistakes I've made and the lessons I've learnt, can be a springboard for discussion and sharing.
Courses I'm researching
Diploma in Professional Counselling, Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors
Career Development Professional Certificate, Worklife College of Worklife Practitioners
Certificate IV in Life Coaching, Life Coaching Institute
Certified Professional Coach, International Coach Academy
Certified Christian Life Coach, Professional Christian Coaching & Counselling Academy
What I'm sensing is that I am called not just to be a life coach but to share the truth of God through the coaching process. This means a secular approach just won't do, even if my client base may initially be smaller or my practice less lucrative. There has to be a common understanding and foundation established right from the start, one that is based on biblical principles. Without this understanding and foundation, I would not be able to practise to the fullest extent of my calling, and my clients would not be able to benefit from hearing truths that they need to hear.
Will continue to seek His will and guidance in this area. It is no small thing to have the power to influence other people's lives.
Saying Our (Mini) Goodbyes
ZAI JIAN
Someone recently reminded me that Goodbye in Chinese (Zai Jian) really means "See you again". That really puts things in perspective. Life after all is made up of a series of hellos and goodbyes and in that way, we move on to new adventures.
....TO OUR SUPPORT GROUP
Last Fri, when our cell group leader asked what we would like them to pray about, I shared the thought that had come to me enroute to the meeting, viz. that we would be salt and light in our new community and a blessing to our neighbours.
Our cell group prayed specifically for journey mercies, a smooth transition to life in Melbourne, a safe pregnancy and delivery for me, a suitable job for hubby, a good home and school for Beth etc. Until they actually laid hands on us in prayer, I had not felt like we were actually going away, but as they prayed, it suddenly struck me with force that we were leaving behind people who had borne with us, encouraged us and walked us through some of the most significant phases and events of our lives. It was then that the sobs came - and wouldn't stop. Felt rather mortified afterwards; I had hoped to maintain some semblance of dignity and composure (which I'm really bad at; I weep at sad movies, beautiful music, other people's personal tragedies...).
...TO VOP
Last night, we visited the Voices of Praise, the inter-church choir that we've been a part of since 2000, when we sang Handel's Messiah to raise funds for the building of Sengkang Methodist Church. Rev Ho Chee Sin led the members in prayer for our family. It's lovely to know there are so many people who will be thinking of us and praying for us when we're away. We hope to do the same for them. Isn't that what community is all about?
...TO CHURCH CHOIR
We've been asked to mark our final performance with the church choir by singing a duet for next Sun's anthem (The Summons). Hubby and I are to sing the first 2 verses while the choir hums along. Hubby would have no problem; he's an excellent soloist. I have stage fright and a wobbly alto, plus the poignancy of the occasion may get to me. Oh dear.
...TO FRIENDS
Last week has been a busy time of catching up with friends. Had lunch with glam SAHM J and adorable, almost-3 y.o. Jaime at Carl's Jr, Marina Square on Thu. J passed me some lovely sleepers for bb - more $ savings - yay! Was inspired to learn of her continued involvement in Sunday School, her concerns about her son's recent behavioural issues, and her family's commitment to BSF International, a bible study group with representation in USA and throughout the world. Members commit to studying the Bible through a period of 7 years!
On Sun, had tea at home with my friend R. It was so nice to see our kids play together so naturally, even though they haven't seen each other in months and Beth is a year younger. The adults enjoyed masala tea, kopi and an array of bite-sized cakes and pastries beautifully presented on a 2-tiered cake stand. The afternoon ended with a bit of mystery; hubby's shoes (which he'd left outside the door) disappeared! He had to borrow a pair off R's hubby D, as we were off to a birthday party. R suggested that the person who took the shoes must have really needed them, which lent an alternative perspective to what might otherwise have been a major annoyance. Was moved to utter a short prayer last night that the person who had taken hubby's shoes would be blessed by them.
This Fri is hubby's last day at work (thank goodness I'd already said my farewells a year ago!) and Beth's last day at school. Am thinking of baking a batch of muffins/cupcakes/cookies for her to share with her friends and teachers.
...TO COMFORT FOOD
Bought 500g of round bak kwa a few days ago as we'll probably not see the stuff for 2 years at least. Then yest at church, a sister handed us a red Bee Cheng Hiang bag of sliced bak kwa! Think we'll share the bounty with our next-door neighbours; they have a large family and could put it to better use.
Have been indulging in suppers of prata, teh halia and the like with our regular makan kaki Cat & Sam. This Thu we'll be meeting for durian at 717 Upp S'goon Rd with another couple who loves suppers, Aunty D and Uncle KH. Beth gets on famously with all of them, which is lovely. She needs the influence of godly elders to help her grow into the kind of person God would be proud of.
Someone recently reminded me that Goodbye in Chinese (Zai Jian) really means "See you again". That really puts things in perspective. Life after all is made up of a series of hellos and goodbyes and in that way, we move on to new adventures.
....TO OUR SUPPORT GROUP
Last Fri, when our cell group leader asked what we would like them to pray about, I shared the thought that had come to me enroute to the meeting, viz. that we would be salt and light in our new community and a blessing to our neighbours.
Our cell group prayed specifically for journey mercies, a smooth transition to life in Melbourne, a safe pregnancy and delivery for me, a suitable job for hubby, a good home and school for Beth etc. Until they actually laid hands on us in prayer, I had not felt like we were actually going away, but as they prayed, it suddenly struck me with force that we were leaving behind people who had borne with us, encouraged us and walked us through some of the most significant phases and events of our lives. It was then that the sobs came - and wouldn't stop. Felt rather mortified afterwards; I had hoped to maintain some semblance of dignity and composure (which I'm really bad at; I weep at sad movies, beautiful music, other people's personal tragedies...).
...TO VOP
Last night, we visited the Voices of Praise, the inter-church choir that we've been a part of since 2000, when we sang Handel's Messiah to raise funds for the building of Sengkang Methodist Church. Rev Ho Chee Sin led the members in prayer for our family. It's lovely to know there are so many people who will be thinking of us and praying for us when we're away. We hope to do the same for them. Isn't that what community is all about?
...TO CHURCH CHOIR
We've been asked to mark our final performance with the church choir by singing a duet for next Sun's anthem (The Summons). Hubby and I are to sing the first 2 verses while the choir hums along. Hubby would have no problem; he's an excellent soloist. I have stage fright and a wobbly alto, plus the poignancy of the occasion may get to me. Oh dear.
...TO FRIENDS
Last week has been a busy time of catching up with friends. Had lunch with glam SAHM J and adorable, almost-3 y.o. Jaime at Carl's Jr, Marina Square on Thu. J passed me some lovely sleepers for bb - more $ savings - yay! Was inspired to learn of her continued involvement in Sunday School, her concerns about her son's recent behavioural issues, and her family's commitment to BSF International, a bible study group with representation in USA and throughout the world. Members commit to studying the Bible through a period of 7 years!
On Sun, had tea at home with my friend R. It was so nice to see our kids play together so naturally, even though they haven't seen each other in months and Beth is a year younger. The adults enjoyed masala tea, kopi and an array of bite-sized cakes and pastries beautifully presented on a 2-tiered cake stand. The afternoon ended with a bit of mystery; hubby's shoes (which he'd left outside the door) disappeared! He had to borrow a pair off R's hubby D, as we were off to a birthday party. R suggested that the person who took the shoes must have really needed them, which lent an alternative perspective to what might otherwise have been a major annoyance. Was moved to utter a short prayer last night that the person who had taken hubby's shoes would be blessed by them.
This Fri is hubby's last day at work (thank goodness I'd already said my farewells a year ago!) and Beth's last day at school. Am thinking of baking a batch of muffins/cupcakes/cookies for her to share with her friends and teachers.
...TO COMFORT FOOD
Bought 500g of round bak kwa a few days ago as we'll probably not see the stuff for 2 years at least. Then yest at church, a sister handed us a red Bee Cheng Hiang bag of sliced bak kwa! Think we'll share the bounty with our next-door neighbours; they have a large family and could put it to better use.
Have been indulging in suppers of prata, teh halia and the like with our regular makan kaki Cat & Sam. This Thu we'll be meeting for durian at 717 Upp S'goon Rd with another couple who loves suppers, Aunty D and Uncle KH. Beth gets on famously with all of them, which is lovely. She needs the influence of godly elders to help her grow into the kind of person God would be proud of.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Huawen Rocks!
Was at dinner @ aiwo Raffles City last night with my classmates from the SCCIOB translation class. We graduated with Dip in Translation Skills from the super siong 6-module course in Oct 05 (one of the highlights of life last year), and some, their appetites perhaps whetted by the Dip, have gone on to take short courses on Chinese Lit. Appreciation, Chinese Masterpieces and Creative Chinese Writing. One is contemplating doing the Advanced Dip in Translation and has gone so far as to sit for the accreditation exams set by Australia so she can become a certified professional translator Down Under!
The Govt should be proud of such fierce dedication to the Chinese language and culture.
Me? I'm happy enough if I have the energy and patience to homeschool Beth when we reach Melb, as we may not have direct access to Chinese lang classes where we plan to settle (western suburbs). Hubby suggested half in jest that maybe I should start a class while we're there. Another biz idea to mull over on the 7-hr plane ride...which is like 11 days away!
The Govt should be proud of such fierce dedication to the Chinese language and culture.
Me? I'm happy enough if I have the energy and patience to homeschool Beth when we reach Melb, as we may not have direct access to Chinese lang classes where we plan to settle (western suburbs). Hubby suggested half in jest that maybe I should start a class while we're there. Another biz idea to mull over on the 7-hr plane ride...which is like 11 days away!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
10 Reasons You Should Never Get A Job
Reviewed this fantastic article by Steve Pavlina yesterday. Here's why you should dump your 9-6 job:
- Jobs are for dummies. Why trade your time for $ and be a slave, when you can work less, earn more (even when you're not working) and have time to do what you love? The secret? Build systems that help you earn 24/7 - it's called passive income!
- Having a job limits your experience. Would you rather learn to do a specific job really well, or use your time to acquire experience that's of real value?
- Having a job kills your spark and turns you into a good pet.
- With a job, you only get a fraction of the value you create. Chunks of it go to taxes, to your employers, to the stakeholders of the company, and a tiny part to you!
- Being an employee is the riskiest thing you can do. You have the least control over your destiny.
- If you're an employee and you encounter an awful boss, you still have to please him and say "Sorry boss" even when it's not your fault.
- Being your own boss means you decide how much you get paid without needing anyone else's permission.
- Being an employee creates dead-end social relationships. Some people hang out with their workmates just because the workplace has become their primary social outlet.
- Inane company policy robs you of independent will and turns you into a mind slave.
- Having a job turns you into a coward who complains about all the things that are wrong at work but does nothing about finding solutions.
Challenge: Finding a Shipper Within Budget
Spent forever waiting for mover contact to give us a quote for our household effects. He finally came back this week, and quoted $5.6k ex insurance for 500 cubic feet/14 cubic meters of space. Even after leaving our Yamaha Clavinova out of the equation, the savings would only be $190! (Hubby had suggested leaving it behind to save on shipping $, and I reluctantly agreed.)
That is SO over our budget. At this rate, we won't have $ to buy that second-hand car in Melb! Hubby's colleague had told him of a mover who quotes $4k for a 20-foot container load. The rep promised to call 2 days ago but hasn't. Hmmf.
Was finally forced to call other companies cos time is running out. I'm one of those lazy people who prefer to stick to just 1 supplier and get on with it. After some Internet research, found this helpful website www.intlmovers.com and emailed FJ Worldwide Movers and Shalom Movers. FJ is sending a rep over tomorrow to survey our items.
Based on our list of items to ship, the rep quoted $4k for door to door delivery/40 cartons/10 m3/inclusive of customs-quarantine charges. Our stuff will take about a month to arrive in Melb, which is fine since we won't have a permanent address just yet.
Compare:
SM is quoting us $3.8k for door to door/30 cartons/6 m3/exc quarantine charges (A$400 to be paid to Oz Customs).
Options?
Our other alternative is to use the Unaccompanied Baggage route via Qantas (but it's only for books and clothing) and Speedpost's Surface Parcel Delivery (max 20 kg per delivery). My ever-reliable coz in Melb has offered the use of her shed for us to temporarily store the cartons till we find permanent housing. Good ol' coz :)
The tricky thing is how to translate all the items into x kg or y boxes so we can calculate what makes more economic sense. The lazybones in me just wants to hire a shipper who'll pack all my stuff for me so I can sit back and relax!
Less than 2 weeks to get all this done - panic2....
Update 25 Aug 2006
Was at dinner last night with classmates from my Chinese translation class, and one of them (Eric) turned out to be in the shipping/moving industry! When I told E what I'd been quoted, he offered to help us get a reasonable quotation from his co. He says shipping actually doesn't cost a lot. He also advised that we pack things ourselves to save $. Hubby joined the gathering at the end and was able to talk directly to E, which was good. Feel a lot more positive and hopeful now of an economical solution to the shipping challenge.
Am so thankful for this last-minute provision from the Lord - He knows everything we need, and His timing is never off!
Update 28 Aug 2006
Called Store It Self Storage this morning to ask if they do home delivery for their packing boxes. They do, at no charge! Ordered 20 large boxes and 20 small ones, plus 5 packs of bubble wrap. They will deliver the goodies today. At least now we can (or are forced to) get on with the packing while waiting for my pal Eric to get back with a quote on the shipping cost.
We also found someone to take our Clavinova - our pal Cat, who plays the piano at church! Finally, someone who will really benefit from the C and put it to the use it deserves. Thank you Lord! (Hope I don't miss the C too much. Hubby has promised that we can get a 2nd-hand piano if I really want to play in Melb.)
Update 29 August 2006
Started on the packing-into-boxes today. Backbreaking but quite satisfying. Filled one small carton with my cookbooks and motivational books. Filled half of another with our fave CDs. Another with alphabet mat pieces for bb. And on and on. Waiting for Beth to come home so I can discuss with her what she absolutely won't leave behind; this 4 y.o. has a LOT of fluff, er, stuff.
Eric came back with quote. S$433 for shipping to Melb. A$1139 for clearing customs on Oz side. We are to deal directly with his Melb agent for the handling fees. Couple of forms to fill and photocopy of hubby's pp is required. Hope that's all. I really would much rather have someone handle all this for us at a premium, but $ is tight, so this may be the best option.
That is SO over our budget. At this rate, we won't have $ to buy that second-hand car in Melb! Hubby's colleague had told him of a mover who quotes $4k for a 20-foot container load. The rep promised to call 2 days ago but hasn't. Hmmf.
Was finally forced to call other companies cos time is running out. I'm one of those lazy people who prefer to stick to just 1 supplier and get on with it. After some Internet research, found this helpful website www.intlmovers.com and emailed FJ Worldwide Movers and Shalom Movers. FJ is sending a rep over tomorrow to survey our items.
Based on our list of items to ship, the rep quoted $4k for door to door delivery/40 cartons/10 m3/inclusive of customs-quarantine charges. Our stuff will take about a month to arrive in Melb, which is fine since we won't have a permanent address just yet.
Compare:
SM is quoting us $3.8k for door to door/30 cartons/6 m3/exc quarantine charges (A$400 to be paid to Oz Customs).
Options?
Our other alternative is to use the Unaccompanied Baggage route via Qantas (but it's only for books and clothing) and Speedpost's Surface Parcel Delivery (max 20 kg per delivery). My ever-reliable coz in Melb has offered the use of her shed for us to temporarily store the cartons till we find permanent housing. Good ol' coz :)
The tricky thing is how to translate all the items into x kg or y boxes so we can calculate what makes more economic sense. The lazybones in me just wants to hire a shipper who'll pack all my stuff for me so I can sit back and relax!
Less than 2 weeks to get all this done - panic2....
Update 25 Aug 2006
Was at dinner last night with classmates from my Chinese translation class, and one of them (Eric) turned out to be in the shipping/moving industry! When I told E what I'd been quoted, he offered to help us get a reasonable quotation from his co. He says shipping actually doesn't cost a lot. He also advised that we pack things ourselves to save $. Hubby joined the gathering at the end and was able to talk directly to E, which was good. Feel a lot more positive and hopeful now of an economical solution to the shipping challenge.
Am so thankful for this last-minute provision from the Lord - He knows everything we need, and His timing is never off!
Update 28 Aug 2006
Called Store It Self Storage this morning to ask if they do home delivery for their packing boxes. They do, at no charge! Ordered 20 large boxes and 20 small ones, plus 5 packs of bubble wrap. They will deliver the goodies today. At least now we can (or are forced to) get on with the packing while waiting for my pal Eric to get back with a quote on the shipping cost.
We also found someone to take our Clavinova - our pal Cat, who plays the piano at church! Finally, someone who will really benefit from the C and put it to the use it deserves. Thank you Lord! (Hope I don't miss the C too much. Hubby has promised that we can get a 2nd-hand piano if I really want to play in Melb.)
Update 29 August 2006
Started on the packing-into-boxes today. Backbreaking but quite satisfying. Filled one small carton with my cookbooks and motivational books. Filled half of another with our fave CDs. Another with alphabet mat pieces for bb. And on and on. Waiting for Beth to come home so I can discuss with her what she absolutely won't leave behind; this 4 y.o. has a LOT of fluff, er, stuff.
Eric came back with quote. S$433 for shipping to Melb. A$1139 for clearing customs on Oz side. We are to deal directly with his Melb agent for the handling fees. Couple of forms to fill and photocopy of hubby's pp is required. Hope that's all. I really would much rather have someone handle all this for us at a premium, but $ is tight, so this may be the best option.
Thankful For Little Things
I got so much accomplished today, and all because I had a lunch appointment with friends in town.
First thing I did was to mail off a cheque payment to M1 on my way in to AMK MRT station. Then I planned to drop by my regular hairstylist's (Jeric of Reds, Bugis Junction) for one last hurrah. On my way in, I saw QB House. It was a hard decision - pay $10 for a haircut of unknown quality, or pay $30+ for style and substance? The savings could go towards a nice drink and snack....
In the end, decided to stay with my hairstylist. Was I glad I did so. Not only was she free to attend to me (I dropped in sans appointment), she decided to try out a new style on me - instead of just layering and cropping the back, she decided to create more body (I have notoriously limp hair plus a hair loss problem) with a Catherine Zeta-Jones' bob a la Chicago. Like it :)
Finished off my makeover with a visit to the Ros 'n' Roy counter just outside Reds. It's no use asking people like me to invest in a Sasa DIY eyebrow template; that only works if you have regular brows and know how to groom them to start with! I am totally clueless AND have scanty - almost invisible - brows, so I prefer letting the pros help me. As usual, the impeccably groomed Malay stylist did a fantastic job of creating definition and shape where there were just gaps before. I happily coughed up $14 (they raised the price from $13 recently).
On my way into Raffles City for the lunch appointment, I suddenly remembered that hubby had asked me to deposit 2 cheques for him. DBS Bank is located at one end of RC and has a Quick Cheque Deposit facility.
I am a model of efficiency just for today. Thanks be to God for the little reminders that helped me get things done!
First thing I did was to mail off a cheque payment to M1 on my way in to AMK MRT station. Then I planned to drop by my regular hairstylist's (Jeric of Reds, Bugis Junction) for one last hurrah. On my way in, I saw QB House. It was a hard decision - pay $10 for a haircut of unknown quality, or pay $30+ for style and substance? The savings could go towards a nice drink and snack....
In the end, decided to stay with my hairstylist. Was I glad I did so. Not only was she free to attend to me (I dropped in sans appointment), she decided to try out a new style on me - instead of just layering and cropping the back, she decided to create more body (I have notoriously limp hair plus a hair loss problem) with a Catherine Zeta-Jones' bob a la Chicago. Like it :)
Finished off my makeover with a visit to the Ros 'n' Roy counter just outside Reds. It's no use asking people like me to invest in a Sasa DIY eyebrow template; that only works if you have regular brows and know how to groom them to start with! I am totally clueless AND have scanty - almost invisible - brows, so I prefer letting the pros help me. As usual, the impeccably groomed Malay stylist did a fantastic job of creating definition and shape where there were just gaps before. I happily coughed up $14 (they raised the price from $13 recently).
On my way into Raffles City for the lunch appointment, I suddenly remembered that hubby had asked me to deposit 2 cheques for him. DBS Bank is located at one end of RC and has a Quick Cheque Deposit facility.
I am a model of efficiency just for today. Thanks be to God for the little reminders that helped me get things done!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Am I A Talent?
Was listening to podcast of PM's ND Rally speech this morning.
He mentioned that Singapore needs not just more numbers but more talents.
How do we define talents?
People with a special skill or exceptional qualifications or experience?
What happens to those who do not make it as talents?
They may be just as competent, intelligent, skilled and dedicated in what they do, but their skills may not be in demand at the moment, and so they are less readily recognized, or their skills may be confined to a highly specialised environment, or their job descriptions may be very general, which means they can be performed by almost anyone.
Will these people fall through the cracks of development?
To what extent is the Government responsible for taking care of such groups, and to what extent are we as citizens and residents responsible for our own well-being and the future of our children?
Perhaps the answer lies in between.
Perhaps it lies outside the notion of Job=Income.
Have a look at this humorous article by Steve Pavlina (thanks, mrbrown!) - 10 Reasons You Should Never Get A Job.
He mentioned that Singapore needs not just more numbers but more talents.
How do we define talents?
People with a special skill or exceptional qualifications or experience?
What happens to those who do not make it as talents?
They may be just as competent, intelligent, skilled and dedicated in what they do, but their skills may not be in demand at the moment, and so they are less readily recognized, or their skills may be confined to a highly specialised environment, or their job descriptions may be very general, which means they can be performed by almost anyone.
Will these people fall through the cracks of development?
To what extent is the Government responsible for taking care of such groups, and to what extent are we as citizens and residents responsible for our own well-being and the future of our children?
Perhaps the answer lies in between.
Perhaps it lies outside the notion of Job=Income.
Have a look at this humorous article by Steve Pavlina (thanks, mrbrown!) - 10 Reasons You Should Never Get A Job.
Friday, August 18, 2006
God takes care of...Our flat
On Wed, God took care of our flat rental.
Our real estate agent friend David brought a stream of prospective tenants to view our place between 5 pm and 7 pm. Having no experience in this sort of thing, I decided to sit back and let him do most of the talking. It worked out perfectly. We had an expat Indian family from M'sia (a mother and 2 little girls), a group of students from China who are here on a government scholarship, a trio of Indian guys working here, a Malay couple, a Filipino couple.
When David called to say he was showing our flat, I warned him that it was hardly presentable since we were in the process of packing. He said not to worry about it; he had already warned the agents who were bringing the prospective tenants.
Scottie, Beth and I had our respective moments of excitement watching all these strangers traipsing upstairs and downstairs. There was absolutely no time to tidy up and I was just thankful the cleaning aunty had just come by that afternoon. At least the floor was clean and the toilets were washed!
By the end of the evening, we had received a firm offer together with a Letter of Intent from the Chinese students. David had proposed $1.4k (above his initial projection of $1.2k-1.3k and definitely above HDB's estimated average of $1.1k) to the agent for the students. He countered with $1.3k, but after the students had left, the agent returned, sat down to a further private discussion with David and signed the Letter of Intent agreeing to $1.4k!
When I commented to David that he or the other agent must have really strong skills of persuasion, he simply replied, "It's God's blessing." A powerful reminder that God is more than capable of meeting our needs and that sometimes, we are so blinded to His provision that we do not give Him credit where it's due.
Am especially relieved and happy because the students have agreed to let us continue storing our barang in the maid's room and have no other requests of us save to purchase a bed for the 3rd room. This was so different from the first family who wanted us to put our furniture in storage because they plan to bring in their own furniture. Not only that, they have asked to commence the rental arrangement on/before 9 Sep, less than a week after we leave for melb! That's just fantastic because it means we will have a source of incoming funds earlier than expected.
On the issue of the bed, Aunty K called the following night to tell us to KIV buying the bed because she planned to help us find one FOC - possibly Granny's bed which is in her house. That would save us at least $100-$200! Good ol' Aunty K.
Thanks be to God for providing in such practical ways.
Our real estate agent friend David brought a stream of prospective tenants to view our place between 5 pm and 7 pm. Having no experience in this sort of thing, I decided to sit back and let him do most of the talking. It worked out perfectly. We had an expat Indian family from M'sia (a mother and 2 little girls), a group of students from China who are here on a government scholarship, a trio of Indian guys working here, a Malay couple, a Filipino couple.
When David called to say he was showing our flat, I warned him that it was hardly presentable since we were in the process of packing. He said not to worry about it; he had already warned the agents who were bringing the prospective tenants.
Scottie, Beth and I had our respective moments of excitement watching all these strangers traipsing upstairs and downstairs. There was absolutely no time to tidy up and I was just thankful the cleaning aunty had just come by that afternoon. At least the floor was clean and the toilets were washed!
By the end of the evening, we had received a firm offer together with a Letter of Intent from the Chinese students. David had proposed $1.4k (above his initial projection of $1.2k-1.3k and definitely above HDB's estimated average of $1.1k) to the agent for the students. He countered with $1.3k, but after the students had left, the agent returned, sat down to a further private discussion with David and signed the Letter of Intent agreeing to $1.4k!
When I commented to David that he or the other agent must have really strong skills of persuasion, he simply replied, "It's God's blessing." A powerful reminder that God is more than capable of meeting our needs and that sometimes, we are so blinded to His provision that we do not give Him credit where it's due.
Am especially relieved and happy because the students have agreed to let us continue storing our barang in the maid's room and have no other requests of us save to purchase a bed for the 3rd room. This was so different from the first family who wanted us to put our furniture in storage because they plan to bring in their own furniture. Not only that, they have asked to commence the rental arrangement on/before 9 Sep, less than a week after we leave for melb! That's just fantastic because it means we will have a source of incoming funds earlier than expected.
On the issue of the bed, Aunty K called the following night to tell us to KIV buying the bed because she planned to help us find one FOC - possibly Granny's bed which is in her house. That would save us at least $100-$200! Good ol' Aunty K.
Thanks be to God for providing in such practical ways.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Creating Multiple Streams of Income: Hope or Hoax?
Last night, we were at dinner at Oasis Taiwan Porridge with a good friend, and the subject of career planning came up. My friend was asking about the book I'd been working on, which is a guide to career planning from the perspective of one who's made a career transition. He thought it was targeted only at jobseekers, the gainfully employed and those looking for a career change.
I sought to correct him by clarifying that actually, the current marketplace trend was away from the Job=Income=Stability formula and towards making oneself employable through alternative sources of income, such as entrepreneurship, investments, training. We got on the subject of e-books and CDs which are downloadable for a fee on the Internet. His beef was the credibility of the gurus who claimed that if you signed up for their courses or bought their training products, you could become financially free in a short time. He was particularly miffed that they were charging people for sharing their knowledge; if they were so successful and so rich, why couldn't they give away the info for free?
With the very little I had gleaned from my own research, I pointed out that one tell-tale sign of authenticity was whether the guru had become rich solely through his ability to persuade people to sign up for his courses/buy his products, or whether he was already rich by his own efforts to begin with. I gave the example of Adam Khoo of AKLTG, who claims to have made his first million at 26 by learning the secrets of self-made millionaires and other successful persons. He now teams up with other motivational training experts to conduct seminars for underachieving students, entrepreneur aspirants and anyone who wants financial freedom.
I checked out his affiliated website recently and downloaded (FOC) his CD on 7 Steps to Financial Freedom. It's a 39-minute CD that gets you thinking (and excited!) about the wealth of possibility that exists in your mind, which he calls your greatest asset.
Today I bought his Secrets of Self-made Millionaires package. I figure I've nothing to lose (other than the purchase price of US$67). After all, how do you put a price on knowledge? If what he says is true, then US$67 is a small price to pay to learn about financial freedom and managing my cashflow from someone who's been there and done that. And if I want to be able to comment intelligently the next time someone disses the idea of paying to learn financial freedom, surely I owe it to myself to at least pay the price and find out the hard way, rather than relying on hearsay, presumptions and old habits of thinking.
As Jim Rohn likes to point out, the difference between those who make it and those who don't is that the former are willing to do what the rest are not.
As for my friend's grouse that one has to pay for info, I don't see an issue. I mean, don't we all pay good money (without complaining!) for things/services we value? If I really think a piece of info is going to make a huge difference in my life, would I be willing to pay a small price for it? The question answers itself.
I sought to correct him by clarifying that actually, the current marketplace trend was away from the Job=Income=Stability formula and towards making oneself employable through alternative sources of income, such as entrepreneurship, investments, training. We got on the subject of e-books and CDs which are downloadable for a fee on the Internet. His beef was the credibility of the gurus who claimed that if you signed up for their courses or bought their training products, you could become financially free in a short time. He was particularly miffed that they were charging people for sharing their knowledge; if they were so successful and so rich, why couldn't they give away the info for free?
With the very little I had gleaned from my own research, I pointed out that one tell-tale sign of authenticity was whether the guru had become rich solely through his ability to persuade people to sign up for his courses/buy his products, or whether he was already rich by his own efforts to begin with. I gave the example of Adam Khoo of AKLTG, who claims to have made his first million at 26 by learning the secrets of self-made millionaires and other successful persons. He now teams up with other motivational training experts to conduct seminars for underachieving students, entrepreneur aspirants and anyone who wants financial freedom.
I checked out his affiliated website recently and downloaded (FOC) his CD on 7 Steps to Financial Freedom. It's a 39-minute CD that gets you thinking (and excited!) about the wealth of possibility that exists in your mind, which he calls your greatest asset.
Today I bought his Secrets of Self-made Millionaires package. I figure I've nothing to lose (other than the purchase price of US$67). After all, how do you put a price on knowledge? If what he says is true, then US$67 is a small price to pay to learn about financial freedom and managing my cashflow from someone who's been there and done that. And if I want to be able to comment intelligently the next time someone disses the idea of paying to learn financial freedom, surely I owe it to myself to at least pay the price and find out the hard way, rather than relying on hearsay, presumptions and old habits of thinking.
As Jim Rohn likes to point out, the difference between those who make it and those who don't is that the former are willing to do what the rest are not.
As for my friend's grouse that one has to pay for info, I don't see an issue. I mean, don't we all pay good money (without complaining!) for things/services we value? If I really think a piece of info is going to make a huge difference in my life, would I be willing to pay a small price for it? The question answers itself.
What's It Like Being Self-Employed?
A good friend asked me this yesterday when we were at her place for tea. (From time to time, she thinks of staying home with her 2 girls and giving up her high-paying corporate job, but her hubby doesn't think it's a good idea, so they're still playing the safe double income-2 kids-maid game.)
People tend to think that when you're working for yourself, it's all rainbows and sunshine and all your rat race problems are forever banished.
I thought for a moment before answering.
"The greatest challenge is self-discipline," I ventured. "When you're working for yourself, it's easy to get lazy and complacent because no one's chasing you to do things. That said, it's great to have time to sit down and really enjoy a good book!"
We both smiled.
Now that I've had a bit more time to ponder her question, I might also add that the past 12 months of leading the freelancer's lifestyle has had its economic costs (don't get me started!), but it's also liberated me in more ways than I ever imagined. It's given me a priceless gift: TIME. I have time to think, to reflect, to breathe, to enjoy being a mother and homemaker, to revel in the sheer joy of having so many options and possibilities before me, and to allow my mind to expand as I contemplate the ideas of brave, adventurous individuals who dare to practise what they preach.
Could I not have achieved all this and still hung on to my day job? Perhaps another individual might have accomplished it, but I know myself. After 11 years, I've figured out that I'm just not a corporate jungle type of person. I shudder to think of all the survival tactics required if I really want to outshine my peers, and what they would cost in terms of my character development. Am I an escapist? Perhaps. But this one thing I know: if I had not forcibly let go of the lifestyle I knew to embrace the one I didn't, I would not be where I am now - and now is where I'd rather be, however many zeroes any employer might add to my payslip.
People tend to think that when you're working for yourself, it's all rainbows and sunshine and all your rat race problems are forever banished.
I thought for a moment before answering.
"The greatest challenge is self-discipline," I ventured. "When you're working for yourself, it's easy to get lazy and complacent because no one's chasing you to do things. That said, it's great to have time to sit down and really enjoy a good book!"
We both smiled.
Now that I've had a bit more time to ponder her question, I might also add that the past 12 months of leading the freelancer's lifestyle has had its economic costs (don't get me started!), but it's also liberated me in more ways than I ever imagined. It's given me a priceless gift: TIME. I have time to think, to reflect, to breathe, to enjoy being a mother and homemaker, to revel in the sheer joy of having so many options and possibilities before me, and to allow my mind to expand as I contemplate the ideas of brave, adventurous individuals who dare to practise what they preach.
Could I not have achieved all this and still hung on to my day job? Perhaps another individual might have accomplished it, but I know myself. After 11 years, I've figured out that I'm just not a corporate jungle type of person. I shudder to think of all the survival tactics required if I really want to outshine my peers, and what they would cost in terms of my character development. Am I an escapist? Perhaps. But this one thing I know: if I had not forcibly let go of the lifestyle I knew to embrace the one I didn't, I would not be where I am now - and now is where I'd rather be, however many zeroes any employer might add to my payslip.
Reactions To The Move
Over weeks of chatting with various friends, colleagues and distant relations, 2 distinct clusters of responses have emerged on the issue of the big move.
I call them the POSITIVE and the POSITIVELY PUZZLED.
THE POSITIVE
How wonderful!
How exciting!
What fun!
So cool!
Wah - so adventurous!
I have been thinking of doing the same. You have given me hope!
THE POSITIVELY PUZZLED
Why do you even want to migrate?
Why Australia?
How can you go without a job?
How can you go when you are pregnant?
What will happen to your relatives here?
Migration is only for the very rich.
Do you have enough reserves for 2 years?
They say there’s discrimination in Oz. The whites may call you names. And employers prefer giving jobs to whites.
The taxes are high.
The weather’s awful/cold/erratic.
Your daughter will come back with an Ozzie accent.
I call them the POSITIVE and the POSITIVELY PUZZLED.
THE POSITIVE
How wonderful!
How exciting!
What fun!
So cool!
Wah - so adventurous!
I have been thinking of doing the same. You have given me hope!
THE POSITIVELY PUZZLED
Why do you even want to migrate?
Why Australia?
How can you go without a job?
How can you go when you are pregnant?
What will happen to your relatives here?
Migration is only for the very rich.
Do you have enough reserves for 2 years?
They say there’s discrimination in Oz. The whites may call you names. And employers prefer giving jobs to whites.
The taxes are high.
The weather’s awful/cold/erratic.
Your daughter will come back with an Ozzie accent.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Self-Employment Ain't for the Fainthearted
With all the recent interest in global citizenry, expanding overseas and developing an entrepreneurial mindset, it's good to reexamine what being a successful business owner means to different people.
Last night, we were at dinner with hubby's good friend and his family. The Manzhu Restaurant @ Chinese Swimming Club serves decent local and Western favourites like beef kway teow (tender beef slices with dry flat noodles and a healthy serving of stirfried veg), fish soup, grilled sirloin steak and sausage spaghetti (Beth finished 90% of her meal - a first in a long time!). Best of all, it overlooks the 2 swimming pools.
Hubby's pal KP is with an e-learning company that supplies resources to schools. In his spare time, he writes software (right down to his own payment gateway!), makes it downloadable for free on the Internet, sources for markets for his software (with customised enhancements as required by third parties), and researches Internet businesses to find out what works and what doesn't in the e-market.
His conclusion: in the physical world, the key to a successful real estate or business investment is LOCATION x 3. In the e-world, it is TRAFFIC x 3. He reckons the best way to pull eyeballs to your site is to buy up competing sites that are top of the charts at the number of hits they attract. Also, instead of trading in products (which requires complicated back-up systems and attracts fraud), one could provide a value-added service e.g. info, that makes customers want to keep coming back. He also talked about affiliate marketing, an option for those who have nothing to sell. He suggested that since hubby was going to take time to jobhunt in Melb, perhaps he could start off with an Internet home-based business first. (I was mentally rolling my eyes because I've been trying for the longest time to persuade hubby that the way to go is to set up an Internet business, and he, the IT professional, has been adamantly pooh-poohing the notion.)
What was really interesting was watching hubby's reaction as KP expounded on all these topics, which he was clearly passionate about. Hubby was really impressed by KP's vision and alternative thinking, but he also had the usual reservations of the risk-averse. However, this time I think he might just do something, since he will be jobless for a while in Melb and he has nothing to lose by trying. And I think he is sufficiently impressed by his pal's achievements to give it a go.
Of course, being an entrepreneur has its downside. KP's wife, who years ago gave up a steady job in the Civil Service to stay home with their twins, cannot understand her husband's passion for working 2 jobs - the day job which pays the bills, and the night shift in front of the PC, which takes up just as much time but doesn't necessarily pay (not in $ anyway). She is miffed that he has hardly got time for the family, and wonders why he cannot simply be happy with a job. ("Just get a job, do it, go home and be done with it.")
The difference in mindset is understandable. His is the visionary's mindset, charting new frontiers, looking to make connections all over the world, exploring business opportunities in unlikely places. Hers is the average pragmatic Singaporean mindset - a job is something stable and reliable that pays the bills. Whether it addresses your real career interests or passions is irrelevant.
The problem is the marketplace is inexorably moving away from this mindset: if the gurus are to be believed, we are to stop thinking of our jobs as our main/only source of income, but to develop multiple streams of income through investments, intellectual property, multilevel marketing, Internet businesses and e-learning. The reality continues to be sobering: even though unemployment is down and the number of jobs is up, there are still people who can't find gainful employment. Some of the solutions proposed have been retraining, management of employer-worker expectations, encouraging employers to hire older workers, job sharing etc.
The problem with these proposals is that they're still job-focussed. If you've no job, then what do you do? So the gurus may have something there...
Last night, we were at dinner with hubby's good friend and his family. The Manzhu Restaurant @ Chinese Swimming Club serves decent local and Western favourites like beef kway teow (tender beef slices with dry flat noodles and a healthy serving of stirfried veg), fish soup, grilled sirloin steak and sausage spaghetti (Beth finished 90% of her meal - a first in a long time!). Best of all, it overlooks the 2 swimming pools.
Hubby's pal KP is with an e-learning company that supplies resources to schools. In his spare time, he writes software (right down to his own payment gateway!), makes it downloadable for free on the Internet, sources for markets for his software (with customised enhancements as required by third parties), and researches Internet businesses to find out what works and what doesn't in the e-market.
His conclusion: in the physical world, the key to a successful real estate or business investment is LOCATION x 3. In the e-world, it is TRAFFIC x 3. He reckons the best way to pull eyeballs to your site is to buy up competing sites that are top of the charts at the number of hits they attract. Also, instead of trading in products (which requires complicated back-up systems and attracts fraud), one could provide a value-added service e.g. info, that makes customers want to keep coming back. He also talked about affiliate marketing, an option for those who have nothing to sell. He suggested that since hubby was going to take time to jobhunt in Melb, perhaps he could start off with an Internet home-based business first. (I was mentally rolling my eyes because I've been trying for the longest time to persuade hubby that the way to go is to set up an Internet business, and he, the IT professional, has been adamantly pooh-poohing the notion.)
What was really interesting was watching hubby's reaction as KP expounded on all these topics, which he was clearly passionate about. Hubby was really impressed by KP's vision and alternative thinking, but he also had the usual reservations of the risk-averse. However, this time I think he might just do something, since he will be jobless for a while in Melb and he has nothing to lose by trying. And I think he is sufficiently impressed by his pal's achievements to give it a go.
Of course, being an entrepreneur has its downside. KP's wife, who years ago gave up a steady job in the Civil Service to stay home with their twins, cannot understand her husband's passion for working 2 jobs - the day job which pays the bills, and the night shift in front of the PC, which takes up just as much time but doesn't necessarily pay (not in $ anyway). She is miffed that he has hardly got time for the family, and wonders why he cannot simply be happy with a job. ("Just get a job, do it, go home and be done with it.")
The difference in mindset is understandable. His is the visionary's mindset, charting new frontiers, looking to make connections all over the world, exploring business opportunities in unlikely places. Hers is the average pragmatic Singaporean mindset - a job is something stable and reliable that pays the bills. Whether it addresses your real career interests or passions is irrelevant.
The problem is the marketplace is inexorably moving away from this mindset: if the gurus are to be believed, we are to stop thinking of our jobs as our main/only source of income, but to develop multiple streams of income through investments, intellectual property, multilevel marketing, Internet businesses and e-learning. The reality continues to be sobering: even though unemployment is down and the number of jobs is up, there are still people who can't find gainful employment. Some of the solutions proposed have been retraining, management of employer-worker expectations, encouraging employers to hire older workers, job sharing etc.
The problem with these proposals is that they're still job-focussed. If you've no job, then what do you do? So the gurus may have something there...
Thursday, August 10, 2006
26 Days & Counting
The countdown has begun, as friends and relatives have started to pop by or invite us out to lunches/dinners to catch up before we leave for melb.
Mon night - a dear friend from RGS days came by for coffee (or rather, soya milk & mochi - yummy!). She's extremely positive about our move and offered some helpful tips on life in melb. Eg. central heating in a house means higher utility bills!
Wed - had lunch with my uncles and aunties at Singapura Restaurant @ Selegie House. It's in a HDB estate that's aptly painted red and white (just right for National Day!). Got there late because I suggested an alternative route which involved going against the traffic of one-way Serangoon Road. Hubby grumbled all the way about how we would have been on time had we stuck to his CTE-Dhoby Ghaut-Selegie Rd route.
The food's Fuzhou i.e. fishballs stuffed with minced meat, fried liver patties, steamed fish, cold crab (the signature dish), or nee (yam paste with gingko nuts!). Had a good time updating everyone on our plans; it was a relief not to have M around, as that meant we could speak more freely. Was touched by the expressions of support and encouragement and even offers of financial help if we should run into difficulties. $ is not a topic openly discussed in our family, so this is all new to me.
Tonight, we're having dinner with hubby's pal & his family @ Chinese Swimming Club. They have 5 year-old twins, so Beth will have plenty of company while the adults yak.
Tomorrow night, dinner with hubby's BS group. Beth and Gabriel are the same age and get on fabulously.
Sun night, we'll be meeting a mutual friend who's hubby's college mate and my makan kaki from the days he worked in MAS and I in RCB; he's now heading the risk management division at SIA.
Mon night - a dear friend from RGS days came by for coffee (or rather, soya milk & mochi - yummy!). She's extremely positive about our move and offered some helpful tips on life in melb. Eg. central heating in a house means higher utility bills!
Wed - had lunch with my uncles and aunties at Singapura Restaurant @ Selegie House. It's in a HDB estate that's aptly painted red and white (just right for National Day!). Got there late because I suggested an alternative route which involved going against the traffic of one-way Serangoon Road. Hubby grumbled all the way about how we would have been on time had we stuck to his CTE-Dhoby Ghaut-Selegie Rd route.
The food's Fuzhou i.e. fishballs stuffed with minced meat, fried liver patties, steamed fish, cold crab (the signature dish), or nee (yam paste with gingko nuts!). Had a good time updating everyone on our plans; it was a relief not to have M around, as that meant we could speak more freely. Was touched by the expressions of support and encouragement and even offers of financial help if we should run into difficulties. $ is not a topic openly discussed in our family, so this is all new to me.
Tonight, we're having dinner with hubby's pal & his family @ Chinese Swimming Club. They have 5 year-old twins, so Beth will have plenty of company while the adults yak.
Tomorrow night, dinner with hubby's BS group. Beth and Gabriel are the same age and get on fabulously.
Sun night, we'll be meeting a mutual friend who's hubby's college mate and my makan kaki from the days he worked in MAS and I in RCB; he's now heading the risk management division at SIA.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
A Doggone-sized Dilemma
For weeks, we'd be dithering over whether to ship our pet schnauzer. We started out with the intention of shipping, but did some research and balked at the cost and paperwork. $2k just to export him to melbourne! And that's not counting the cost of the 30-day quarantine in melb and any other vet fees, inspections etc he may chalk up. And what if he dies in transit or in quarantine (it happened to my friend's pekinese)?
On 3 Aug, a close friend was at my place having tea and we were chatting about this subject. She looked closely at Scottie and then pronounced, "You know, I wouldn't mind having him." She then proceeded to list all the reasons why she would make a perfect new owner for him. She lives opp. Bishan Park (which contains a dog run), is about to become a housewife (which means she has time to walk him), there are several pet shops and groomers within walking distance of her home, her 2 1/2 year-old son loves animals, she herself used to own cats so she knows a thing or two about having pets.
Anyway, I found it really interesting that she was more taken with the idea of adopting Scottie than I was sure about giving him up (tho' I i could see the logic of what she was saying). We agreed to discuss with the matter with our spouses - "and Beth", she added. "Are you sure she won't mind leaving Scottie behind?"
So that evening, as I walked Beth home from the school bus, I asked what she thought about helping Scottie find a new home. Beth knows my friend and her son because we meet at Bishan Park once every few months. She thought about it and decided it was ok for David (the little boy) to have Scottie. Hubby had no major objections.
That night, however, said friend called apologetically to say her hubby was not so keen on the idea.
Again, interestingly, I did not experience any sense of having been let down. It was almost as if I were emotionally detached from the situation, as if God had cushioned me in advance so that I would be able to deal with any outcome.
It seems to me that God wants us to take Scottie with us. There are certainly enough reasons:
But the story doesn't end here. This evening, I texted some friends to announce our impending move. One of them - hubby's nephew - asked if we were sure we wanted to ship Scottie. He mentioned that the quarantine process is cruel, and asked if we thought of rehoming him. When I asked if he was open to having Scottie, he said he didn't mind, as he already had an "animal farm" of sorts going on his bungalow: 8 cats & 1 dog! He did however add a caveat: we would need to try Scottie out for a week to see if he can get along with the resident male dog.
Life is never boring!
On 3 Aug, a close friend was at my place having tea and we were chatting about this subject. She looked closely at Scottie and then pronounced, "You know, I wouldn't mind having him." She then proceeded to list all the reasons why she would make a perfect new owner for him. She lives opp. Bishan Park (which contains a dog run), is about to become a housewife (which means she has time to walk him), there are several pet shops and groomers within walking distance of her home, her 2 1/2 year-old son loves animals, she herself used to own cats so she knows a thing or two about having pets.
Anyway, I found it really interesting that she was more taken with the idea of adopting Scottie than I was sure about giving him up (tho' I i could see the logic of what she was saying). We agreed to discuss with the matter with our spouses - "and Beth", she added. "Are you sure she won't mind leaving Scottie behind?"
So that evening, as I walked Beth home from the school bus, I asked what she thought about helping Scottie find a new home. Beth knows my friend and her son because we meet at Bishan Park once every few months. She thought about it and decided it was ok for David (the little boy) to have Scottie. Hubby had no major objections.
That night, however, said friend called apologetically to say her hubby was not so keen on the idea.
Again, interestingly, I did not experience any sense of having been let down. It was almost as if I were emotionally detached from the situation, as if God had cushioned me in advance so that I would be able to deal with any outcome.
It seems to me that God wants us to take Scottie with us. There are certainly enough reasons:
- He's one of us (he was here before Beth!).
- We can't imagine not having him around (even if we don't give him as much attention as he deserves).
He could help us adjust to our new surroundings and teach us a thing or two about being accepting and good-natured in all circumstances. - He's a great watchdog (not a bad thing in an unfamiliar neighbourhood, esp. with 2 little ones at home).
- He's an Ozzie after all!
But the story doesn't end here. This evening, I texted some friends to announce our impending move. One of them - hubby's nephew - asked if we were sure we wanted to ship Scottie. He mentioned that the quarantine process is cruel, and asked if we thought of rehoming him. When I asked if he was open to having Scottie, he said he didn't mind, as he already had an "animal farm" of sorts going on his bungalow: 8 cats & 1 dog! He did however add a caveat: we would need to try Scottie out for a week to see if he can get along with the resident male dog.
Life is never boring!
Friday, August 04, 2006
View From The Bottom
I have learnt some very precious lessons over the past weeks as we prayed and agonized and stressed over the big move. What with Mum's displeasure and the loan application outcome hanging over our heads and regular panic attacks over money, I confess I kinda hit rock bottom.
On hindsight, it was not a bad thing. When you're at the bottom and see no way out, you are more willing to acknowledge that some things are just not within your control. For me, it was the perfect situation to confess to God that I couldn't deal with what was going on, I was terrified, and I needed His wisdom and guidance.
My experience has always been that God moves only after I've reached the stage of acceptance and surrender. Yesterday, hubby called to say another bank was likely to accept our loan application. What was interesting was that I did not leap up and yell "Hurray!" just because a solution appeared to have presented itself. My reaction instead was one of neutral acceptance; it was good news if the application was accepted, but that was no longer the important thing. I had gone past that stage to something else. What was more important was: how did this fit in with the larger scheme of things? What lessons was God trying to teach us? I was more concerned that we learn the lessons than how God solved our problems. I did not want to miss the lessons just because the problem seemed to have resolved itself; the problem is temporary - God can solve it if He wants to; the lessons are permanent and life-changing (or at least, they should be).
This change of mindset is, to me, the product of the surrendering process and the clearest evidence that God is already at work in me to change my character. Without going through the pain of failure and rejection and fear, I would not have reached this level of understanding and maturity. I would not lose this growth for anything.
Shared this with hubby this morning and he appeared to be reflecting on it. Will see what he thinks tonight.
On hindsight, it was not a bad thing. When you're at the bottom and see no way out, you are more willing to acknowledge that some things are just not within your control. For me, it was the perfect situation to confess to God that I couldn't deal with what was going on, I was terrified, and I needed His wisdom and guidance.
My experience has always been that God moves only after I've reached the stage of acceptance and surrender. Yesterday, hubby called to say another bank was likely to accept our loan application. What was interesting was that I did not leap up and yell "Hurray!" just because a solution appeared to have presented itself. My reaction instead was one of neutral acceptance; it was good news if the application was accepted, but that was no longer the important thing. I had gone past that stage to something else. What was more important was: how did this fit in with the larger scheme of things? What lessons was God trying to teach us? I was more concerned that we learn the lessons than how God solved our problems. I did not want to miss the lessons just because the problem seemed to have resolved itself; the problem is temporary - God can solve it if He wants to; the lessons are permanent and life-changing (or at least, they should be).
This change of mindset is, to me, the product of the surrendering process and the clearest evidence that God is already at work in me to change my character. Without going through the pain of failure and rejection and fear, I would not have reached this level of understanding and maturity. I would not lose this growth for anything.
Shared this with hubby this morning and he appeared to be reflecting on it. Will see what he thinks tonight.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Book Review: GOD IS MY SUCCESS by Larry Julian
On Tue night, Uncle K and Aunty SH visited. Uncle K shared from a book which he later left with me - GOD is My Success by Larry Julian (author of GOD is My CEO).
One of the chapters is on Overcoming Financial Slavery, a subject hubby and I are struggling with everyday.
How much $ is enough?
What if we run out of $ before he finds a stable source of income in Melb? What if we can't get any loan from any lending institution by the time we are asked to settle the balance of the College Square property?
What if....? All tough questions with no "safety net" answers. It's enough to give one sleepless nights.
The author makes it clear what financial slavery is. It has nothing to do with the accumulation of money or the lack of money. Rather, it's the result of our MOTIVE. Do we truly believe that everything we receive is a gift from GOD? Do we truly believe that He will provide for our every need (in our case, that would be housing, a car, good healthcare, a job for hubby, support from our new community, a healthy and normal baby, a safe pregnancy and delivery)?
Even as I wrote some of those items down, I realized something. God did not promise to grant us all of our hearts' desires (although He certainly can if He wishes), but to meet our needs. What are my needs?
Do I need a nice home in a nice neighbourhood with good schooling options for Beth, or would any roof over our heads do?
Do I need a 1.8 l-and-above branded car, or would any car that fits our budget do?
Does hubby need to remain in the IT industry (where he is already starting to chafe) so that he can provide for the family, or will any decent job that brings in enough to pay the monthly household expenses do?
Will I love my baby as much even if he is born handicapped? (This one is easily answered. With Beth, we can committed to God that should she turn out to be a special needs child, we would love and accept her all the same because she is God's gift to us. That was why we were at peace with the decision to skip the prenatal test to determine if she was likely to have Down's Syndrome. This time around, we did the test because we wanted to be informed in advance and mentally prepared for the possibility of a DS baby, but before that, we again made the same commitment to God to keep the baby even if. The test turned out negative.)
The author goes on: When we accept God's promises, we are free to live without having to pursue or worry about money. We still face daily business and financial obligations, but we aren't alone. God is with us, and He blesses us with the gifts we need to succeed.
He goes on to give examples.
Financial freedom means...
Living a rich and full life in peace, love and joy without wondering how the next bill will be paid.
I'm free to choose my career, determine the right balance between work and family, and enjoy a lifestyle within my financial means.
I can choose to do the right thing regardless of the potential financial consequences of losing money or even getting fired. (!!)
Financial freedom allows me to pursue my calling without worrying about failure. (You mean I can go ahead and write full-time without worrying if I'll get published or paid for my efforts? And take up a course in career counselling without worrying if I can make a living from it? Wow.)
Financial freedom means...
I can be content where I am without striving for something more.
Thankfully accepting that my future business ventures may be a complete bust or the wildest success (!!).
I understand my role in partnership with God: I'm to be a good steward of the gifts given to me. FF makes me fiscally responsible and allows me to make wise financial decisions in alignment with God's will.
Here's where I encounter my biggest stumbling block. I know I've been anything but fiscally responsible. I am a spender, not a saver. When I do save, I don't keep up for long; it's too tempting to use the savings on something tangible (a holiday, shopping money, a new household appliance that will surely depreciate or be underused). As an investor, I am ruled by emotion (fear and greed) rather than intelligence. As a purchaser of life insurance products, I allow my decision to be based on what my financial planner recommends rather than doing the math based on my family's needs and my projected budget. I don't know that I've ever made a wise financial decision in my life. Even the latest venture - the purchase of a unit in College Square - which at that time seemed like a great idea to generate passive income for our future, was entered into without prayer, without consulting with experts, without studying the fine print and asking questions.
The author acknowledges the practical hurdles. There is the noble pursuit of God's call, he writes, and there is the practicality of the need for money in day-to-day living. How will I know I'm following God and not my selfish desires? How do I balance my financial obligations at work with my passion and calling? How do I balance my commitment at work with my time at home with my family? How much money is enough?
His answer:
It comes down to arriving at a place where you know with confidence that your motives are in alignment with God's will.
His recommendation:
Adopt the Surrender Posture and the Take-Charge Posture in our partnership with God.
1) Surrender to Him what we cannot control. Acknowledge that all good gifts come from Him. As long as we rationalize our need to be in control, money will always be our master. (And Jesus has already said we cannot serve both God and Mammon.)
You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.' But remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth. (Deut 8:17-18)
2) Use our gifts wisely for a greater purpose and not just for our gain. What am I doing with my time, talent and resources? Can God trust me with the little or much that He has given me?
Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. (Matt 25:23)
Prayer
Dear Lord, I repent my lack of good stewardship over the resources you have given me over the years. I acknowledge that I have been mentally and financially lazy and have not equipped myself with the knowledge and wisdom needed to make sound financial decisions.
I ask that you will help me acknowledge anew that all good gifts come from you, and that you are my Provider, who is able to meet all my needs.
Help me accept that I may not always get what I want, but what I do receive will be exactly what I need.
Free me from the fear of tomorrow, the anxiety of not having enough money, the need for a safety net "just in case".
Help me remember that nothing is too hard for you, that you are able to do more than I could ever ask or imagine.
Help me seek first your kingdom and your righteousness, not my own desires and dreams, and to rest in the knowledge that "all these things" (food, clothing, shelter, a job, a way out of the College Square problem) will be added unto me.
Amen.
One of the chapters is on Overcoming Financial Slavery, a subject hubby and I are struggling with everyday.
How much $ is enough?
What if we run out of $ before he finds a stable source of income in Melb? What if we can't get any loan from any lending institution by the time we are asked to settle the balance of the College Square property?
What if....? All tough questions with no "safety net" answers. It's enough to give one sleepless nights.
The author makes it clear what financial slavery is. It has nothing to do with the accumulation of money or the lack of money. Rather, it's the result of our MOTIVE. Do we truly believe that everything we receive is a gift from GOD? Do we truly believe that He will provide for our every need (in our case, that would be housing, a car, good healthcare, a job for hubby, support from our new community, a healthy and normal baby, a safe pregnancy and delivery)?
Even as I wrote some of those items down, I realized something. God did not promise to grant us all of our hearts' desires (although He certainly can if He wishes), but to meet our needs. What are my needs?
Do I need a nice home in a nice neighbourhood with good schooling options for Beth, or would any roof over our heads do?
Do I need a 1.8 l-and-above branded car, or would any car that fits our budget do?
Does hubby need to remain in the IT industry (where he is already starting to chafe) so that he can provide for the family, or will any decent job that brings in enough to pay the monthly household expenses do?
Will I love my baby as much even if he is born handicapped? (This one is easily answered. With Beth, we can committed to God that should she turn out to be a special needs child, we would love and accept her all the same because she is God's gift to us. That was why we were at peace with the decision to skip the prenatal test to determine if she was likely to have Down's Syndrome. This time around, we did the test because we wanted to be informed in advance and mentally prepared for the possibility of a DS baby, but before that, we again made the same commitment to God to keep the baby even if. The test turned out negative.)
The author goes on: When we accept God's promises, we are free to live without having to pursue or worry about money. We still face daily business and financial obligations, but we aren't alone. God is with us, and He blesses us with the gifts we need to succeed.
He goes on to give examples.
Financial freedom means...
Living a rich and full life in peace, love and joy without wondering how the next bill will be paid.
I'm free to choose my career, determine the right balance between work and family, and enjoy a lifestyle within my financial means.
I can choose to do the right thing regardless of the potential financial consequences of losing money or even getting fired. (!!)
Financial freedom allows me to pursue my calling without worrying about failure. (You mean I can go ahead and write full-time without worrying if I'll get published or paid for my efforts? And take up a course in career counselling without worrying if I can make a living from it? Wow.)
Financial freedom means...
I can be content where I am without striving for something more.
Thankfully accepting that my future business ventures may be a complete bust or the wildest success (!!).
I understand my role in partnership with God: I'm to be a good steward of the gifts given to me. FF makes me fiscally responsible and allows me to make wise financial decisions in alignment with God's will.
Here's where I encounter my biggest stumbling block. I know I've been anything but fiscally responsible. I am a spender, not a saver. When I do save, I don't keep up for long; it's too tempting to use the savings on something tangible (a holiday, shopping money, a new household appliance that will surely depreciate or be underused). As an investor, I am ruled by emotion (fear and greed) rather than intelligence. As a purchaser of life insurance products, I allow my decision to be based on what my financial planner recommends rather than doing the math based on my family's needs and my projected budget. I don't know that I've ever made a wise financial decision in my life. Even the latest venture - the purchase of a unit in College Square - which at that time seemed like a great idea to generate passive income for our future, was entered into without prayer, without consulting with experts, without studying the fine print and asking questions.
The author acknowledges the practical hurdles. There is the noble pursuit of God's call, he writes, and there is the practicality of the need for money in day-to-day living. How will I know I'm following God and not my selfish desires? How do I balance my financial obligations at work with my passion and calling? How do I balance my commitment at work with my time at home with my family? How much money is enough?
His answer:
It comes down to arriving at a place where you know with confidence that your motives are in alignment with God's will.
His recommendation:
Adopt the Surrender Posture and the Take-Charge Posture in our partnership with God.
1) Surrender to Him what we cannot control. Acknowledge that all good gifts come from Him. As long as we rationalize our need to be in control, money will always be our master. (And Jesus has already said we cannot serve both God and Mammon.)
You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.' But remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth. (Deut 8:17-18)
2) Use our gifts wisely for a greater purpose and not just for our gain. What am I doing with my time, talent and resources? Can God trust me with the little or much that He has given me?
Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. (Matt 25:23)
Prayer
Dear Lord, I repent my lack of good stewardship over the resources you have given me over the years. I acknowledge that I have been mentally and financially lazy and have not equipped myself with the knowledge and wisdom needed to make sound financial decisions.
I ask that you will help me acknowledge anew that all good gifts come from you, and that you are my Provider, who is able to meet all my needs.
Help me accept that I may not always get what I want, but what I do receive will be exactly what I need.
Free me from the fear of tomorrow, the anxiety of not having enough money, the need for a safety net "just in case".
Help me remember that nothing is too hard for you, that you are able to do more than I could ever ask or imagine.
Help me seek first your kingdom and your righteousness, not my own desires and dreams, and to rest in the knowledge that "all these things" (food, clothing, shelter, a job, a way out of the College Square problem) will be added unto me.
Amen.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
A Day of Highs and Lows
I hit Week 19 today.
Highs:
Lows:
The question is - where do we go from here? Uncle K in Perth had previously offered to take over our interest if we felt we needed to offload the property urgently (and now we do). The issue was whether there was any legal obstacle to him doing so. I had another look through the fine print just now and found the clause that says if the contract is sold to a named purchaser (that's us) and/or nominee, the named purchaser may, at least 14 days before settlement date, nominate a substitute (Uncle K?) or additional purchaser, but the named purchaser remains personally liable for the due performance of all their obligations under the contract.
Theoretically, this could mean that we name Uncle K as substitute purchaser and he takes over the property and pays us $x, which we then use to discharge the outstanding purchase price. Have shot off an email to the agent to see if this is possible.
Meanwhile, am also researching other options. There are things called No Doc Loans, Low Doc Loans and Non-Conforming Lending/Subprime Lending, which is targeted at pple in our situation (e.g. new migrants to Oz, self-employed persons). These come with other T's&C's which may be a bit more onerous, but are nevertheless worth exploring.
What's really helpful is the motivational articles/books I've been reading these past 2 days by the likes of Robert Kiyosaki, Adam Khoo (in his case, I downloaded his free 39-min audio CD on the 7 Steps to Financial Freedom), Jim Rohn, Dennis Waitley et al. They all say one thing which I particularly noticed: When you hit an obstacle, don't just give up and assume it's the end. Ask yourself - what can I do about it? Use your imagination and creativity to find solutions. So if you are a kid and you need $10 to buy something, you don't go to your dad and ask for $10. You ask yourself how you can earn that $10 yourself. Sell lemonade? Mow someone's lawn? Start a comics library and charge the neighbourhood kids 10 cents per 4 hours of reading pleasure? (as RK did)
That's what I'm trying to do now. And I ain't giving up my dream of going to Melb (now when we've come so far and are so close to fulfilling the PR requirements!) just because some bank thinks a freelance writer is a poor credit risk. If the other applications aren't approved before we leave, we'll just go anyway - and work something out in Melb. Might even have a better outcome than in SG, who knows?
PRAYER
Dear Lord, You are wise and powerful, and You alone know all things. You can do more than we could ever ask or imagine. You can turn a hopeless situation around, even if it is our fault that we are in this mess. We commit this financial situation into Your loving hands, and ask that You guide us with Your wisdom into the best possible outcome. We ask that You will grant us faith, hope, peace and joy even as we wait upon You for an answer. Help us to use the resources You have already given us. Help us use our imaginations and creative abilities fully. Help us to trust that You know what is good for us, and to remember Your promise in Romans 8:28 that all things will work together for us, because we love You. Thank you for the loving friends and family You have blessed us with. We ask that You bless each one of them and that You will grant them the desires of their hearts. Amen.
Highs:
- Hubby and I executed Power of Attorney this afternoon, which gives my bro-in-law full authority to deal with our HDB flat in our absence.
- Sis-in-law mentioned that she has foreign talent colleagues looking to rent a maisonette in our area. She subsequently followed up with 2 leads: they are M'sian and Myanmese nationals. For the latter, there would be at least 6 tenants sharing the flat and they are offering $1.1k. Need to talk to my real estate friend to find out if this is a reasonable offer and whether to have it on a 1-yr or 2-yr lease.
- We made a tentative booking with a travel agency for our one-way tickets to Melb for 4 Sep. Tentative because we still haven't heard from our real estate agent on the loan application outcome for our investment property in Melb.
- My friend Karen (who migrated to Melb 2 years ago) called long distance to advise on everything from opening a bank account to buying a car to whether to ship our electrical appliances! How lovely and helpful!
Lows:
- Said agent called to say our loan application has been REJECTED. Reason: I am self-employed and my income is unstable.
The question is - where do we go from here? Uncle K in Perth had previously offered to take over our interest if we felt we needed to offload the property urgently (and now we do). The issue was whether there was any legal obstacle to him doing so. I had another look through the fine print just now and found the clause that says if the contract is sold to a named purchaser (that's us) and/or nominee, the named purchaser may, at least 14 days before settlement date, nominate a substitute (Uncle K?) or additional purchaser, but the named purchaser remains personally liable for the due performance of all their obligations under the contract.
Theoretically, this could mean that we name Uncle K as substitute purchaser and he takes over the property and pays us $x, which we then use to discharge the outstanding purchase price. Have shot off an email to the agent to see if this is possible.
Meanwhile, am also researching other options. There are things called No Doc Loans, Low Doc Loans and Non-Conforming Lending/Subprime Lending, which is targeted at pple in our situation (e.g. new migrants to Oz, self-employed persons). These come with other T's&C's which may be a bit more onerous, but are nevertheless worth exploring.
What's really helpful is the motivational articles/books I've been reading these past 2 days by the likes of Robert Kiyosaki, Adam Khoo (in his case, I downloaded his free 39-min audio CD on the 7 Steps to Financial Freedom), Jim Rohn, Dennis Waitley et al. They all say one thing which I particularly noticed: When you hit an obstacle, don't just give up and assume it's the end. Ask yourself - what can I do about it? Use your imagination and creativity to find solutions. So if you are a kid and you need $10 to buy something, you don't go to your dad and ask for $10. You ask yourself how you can earn that $10 yourself. Sell lemonade? Mow someone's lawn? Start a comics library and charge the neighbourhood kids 10 cents per 4 hours of reading pleasure? (as RK did)
That's what I'm trying to do now. And I ain't giving up my dream of going to Melb (now when we've come so far and are so close to fulfilling the PR requirements!) just because some bank thinks a freelance writer is a poor credit risk. If the other applications aren't approved before we leave, we'll just go anyway - and work something out in Melb. Might even have a better outcome than in SG, who knows?
PRAYER
Dear Lord, You are wise and powerful, and You alone know all things. You can do more than we could ever ask or imagine. You can turn a hopeless situation around, even if it is our fault that we are in this mess. We commit this financial situation into Your loving hands, and ask that You guide us with Your wisdom into the best possible outcome. We ask that You will grant us faith, hope, peace and joy even as we wait upon You for an answer. Help us to use the resources You have already given us. Help us use our imaginations and creative abilities fully. Help us to trust that You know what is good for us, and to remember Your promise in Romans 8:28 that all things will work together for us, because we love You. Thank you for the loving friends and family You have blessed us with. We ask that You bless each one of them and that You will grant them the desires of their hearts. Amen.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Week 18: Update on bb
Have started gaining weight. Am now 52+ kg, up from 48/49 kg in the 1st trimester. Let's hope the gain is moderate and measured, and that I won't surpass my previous 18 kg record.
Am starting to get hunger pangs every 2 hrs. It's now almost 11 am; had 2 slices of wholemeal bread and a cup of hot honey at about 8 am and tummy is growling.
Comparisons with 1st pregnancy
Diet
I've been a lot more lax this time, snacking on all the forbidden foods (chocs, sweet drinks, biscuits, instant noodles) that I restrained myself from touching when I had Beth. My excuse is that I had such a lousy time during the first trimester, I just couldn't stomach any of the good stuff!
Size
Physically, I also feel a lot larger than when I was at the same stage with Beth. Even my next-door neighbour noticed. At 4.5 months, I feel HUGE. It's not a bad thing for my posture, cos it forces me to sit straight when I would otherwise slouch (and squash my tummy!).
bb's moving!
I've also started feeling the flutters (bb's movements), which I'm sure I didn't experience till much later with Beth.
And my belly button has flipped! :)
Am starting to get hunger pangs every 2 hrs. It's now almost 11 am; had 2 slices of wholemeal bread and a cup of hot honey at about 8 am and tummy is growling.
Comparisons with 1st pregnancy
Diet
I've been a lot more lax this time, snacking on all the forbidden foods (chocs, sweet drinks, biscuits, instant noodles) that I restrained myself from touching when I had Beth. My excuse is that I had such a lousy time during the first trimester, I just couldn't stomach any of the good stuff!
Size
Physically, I also feel a lot larger than when I was at the same stage with Beth. Even my next-door neighbour noticed. At 4.5 months, I feel HUGE. It's not a bad thing for my posture, cos it forces me to sit straight when I would otherwise slouch (and squash my tummy!).
bb's moving!
I've also started feeling the flutters (bb's movements), which I'm sure I didn't experience till much later with Beth.
And my belly button has flipped! :)
Post-Prayer Thoughts
Early this morning, I got out my Bible and read 1 Thessalonians. Nothing particularly spoke to me, but it was comforting to know that St. Paul had gone through much worse (beatings, false accusations, shipwrecks, imprisonment), and yet was focussed on how his listeners were doing in their spiritual walk, rather than on his own travails.
I lifted up to God all the things on my mind -
I particularly asked that He would help us navigate this moral dilemma of wanting to be financially free, that He would help us be debt-free and not ask for more than He intends to give us, that He would help us know Him as Jehovah Jireh (God our Provider) so that we can be free to do His will and give to the needs of others without constantly worrying if we have enough for our family.
In 1 Thessalonians, St. Paul was at pains to emphasize that the new believers should be like him and his co-workers, working hard for their own upkeep and not depending on anyone. That's our role model I guess.
I think what's reassuring to me during this time of preparation is the certain knowledge that God is with us wherever we go - be it here in S'pore or in Melb, that we are never out of His sight or His love, and that nothing we can do (even if the decision to move turns out to be a bad one) can make Him love us less.
And that is the sort of unconditional love we as parents hope to give to our children.
Amen.
I lifted up to God all the things on my mind -
- Bb's health and development, thanking Him for the gift of this child, giving him/her back to the Creator to use as He wills, and in particular asking that bb would grow to love and accept Christ as his/her personal Lord and Saviour
- Our finances
- The paperwork and logistics involved in getting us and Scottie to Melb
- Family's differing views on the whole migration issue.
I particularly asked that He would help us navigate this moral dilemma of wanting to be financially free, that He would help us be debt-free and not ask for more than He intends to give us, that He would help us know Him as Jehovah Jireh (God our Provider) so that we can be free to do His will and give to the needs of others without constantly worrying if we have enough for our family.
Before turning in last night, our family also prayed for health (CA's been down with flu, Beth had fever over the weekend and now has a runny nose and cough, and I've a scratchy throat and was mildly feverish yest), for God to watch over Mum when we're in Melb, and for all the extended family, whatever their views on the migration issue.
In 1 Thessalonians, St. Paul was at pains to emphasize that the new believers should be like him and his co-workers, working hard for their own upkeep and not depending on anyone. That's our role model I guess.
I think what's reassuring to me during this time of preparation is the certain knowledge that God is with us wherever we go - be it here in S'pore or in Melb, that we are never out of His sight or His love, and that nothing we can do (even if the decision to move turns out to be a bad one) can make Him love us less.
And that is the sort of unconditional love we as parents hope to give to our children.
Amen.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Decent Conversation Goes Awry
Had a civil conversation with Mum this morning when she called to say she wouldn't be joining us for dinner. She has physio till 430 pm and isn't comfortable driving at night.
We talked (rather, she talked - I listened) about all the reasons I shouldn't go to Melb now: the baby's safety, my safety, anecdotes of people who spent years abroad and have now decided that S'pore is still home sweet home after all, finances...
It all seemed to be going rather well, and I remember wondering why we couldn't have such decent, unemotional conversations more often? Then Mum ended with:
"Anyway, I can't stop you going lah. I know even if you stay in S'pore you won't look after me....Take care hah?" [End of Call]
I spent a few seconds stewing over that emotionally charged allegation, and decided to let it pass. It's really too much to deal with right now.
Back to errands: today's about calling quotations for shipping Scottie (one pet exporter is charging us almost $1,900, and that's just for the export!) and doing an inventory of the items we want to ship, serial numbers and all (for electrical/electronic items). Quite backbreaking. Hope I don't do myself or bb any harm.
Received 2 emails from kind Uncle K. One was to his finance broker (mortgage broker?) requesting her help (on our behalf) to get a valuation done on the College Square unit and to handle our loan application (our agent PRD is taking eons, tho they promised to expedite). The other was to suggest another meeting with us, this time including Aunty KS and Uncle TG. More distressingly, he says that after a discussion with the others, he feels we need to reconsider our decision to move as we may be introducing too many changes in our lives at the same time.
Sinking feeling....
Went on Google immediately to see what experts and mums-in-similar-straits have to say. Unearthed 2 tremendously reassuring articles: RELOCATING DURING PREGNANCY by Holly Fawcett and FLYING THE PREGNANT SKIES by Mary Dixon Lebeau.
I think what might really make us reconsider would be if Dr Kek says ABSOLUTELY NOT. (When we first mooted the idea to her during the first trimester, she said there was no reason why we couldn't go.) Am not due to see her till 17 Aug. Perhaps I should call and see if she can fit me in earlier on an urgent basis.
I think I'll scream if we don't go. I've already worked myself up into the appropriate frame of mind and gotten halfway there with the planning, and now one of our staunchest supporters says think again.
The crux of the matter is - What does God think?
Back on our knees....
We talked (rather, she talked - I listened) about all the reasons I shouldn't go to Melb now: the baby's safety, my safety, anecdotes of people who spent years abroad and have now decided that S'pore is still home sweet home after all, finances...
It all seemed to be going rather well, and I remember wondering why we couldn't have such decent, unemotional conversations more often? Then Mum ended with:
"Anyway, I can't stop you going lah. I know even if you stay in S'pore you won't look after me....Take care hah?" [End of Call]
I spent a few seconds stewing over that emotionally charged allegation, and decided to let it pass. It's really too much to deal with right now.
Back to errands: today's about calling quotations for shipping Scottie (one pet exporter is charging us almost $1,900, and that's just for the export!) and doing an inventory of the items we want to ship, serial numbers and all (for electrical/electronic items). Quite backbreaking. Hope I don't do myself or bb any harm.
Received 2 emails from kind Uncle K. One was to his finance broker (mortgage broker?) requesting her help (on our behalf) to get a valuation done on the College Square unit and to handle our loan application (our agent PRD is taking eons, tho they promised to expedite). The other was to suggest another meeting with us, this time including Aunty KS and Uncle TG. More distressingly, he says that after a discussion with the others, he feels we need to reconsider our decision to move as we may be introducing too many changes in our lives at the same time.
Sinking feeling....
Went on Google immediately to see what experts and mums-in-similar-straits have to say. Unearthed 2 tremendously reassuring articles: RELOCATING DURING PREGNANCY by Holly Fawcett and FLYING THE PREGNANT SKIES by Mary Dixon Lebeau.
I think what might really make us reconsider would be if Dr Kek says ABSOLUTELY NOT. (When we first mooted the idea to her during the first trimester, she said there was no reason why we couldn't go.) Am not due to see her till 17 Aug. Perhaps I should call and see if she can fit me in earlier on an urgent basis.
I think I'll scream if we don't go. I've already worked myself up into the appropriate frame of mind and gotten halfway there with the planning, and now one of our staunchest supporters says think again.
The crux of the matter is - What does God think?
Back on our knees....
Monday, July 24, 2006
More Drama
Just when I thought I'd settled the biggest problem in the migration maze, I landed myself in another. Apparently, my mum didn't take too well to the news despite what she said over the phone. The very next day, I received 2 calls from Aunty KS to say mum was upset, weepy, felt we were abandoning her to an old folks' home, how could I do this after all she'd sacrificed to bring me up...
Looking back, I ought not to have been surprised, but still, it was a shock to hear Aunty KS retell it. Most of all, I felt like I had been assaulted and that I stood accused of that most heinous Asian sin - lack of filial piety, an emotionally charged issue with complex multiple layers and nuances.
Amongst other things, Aunty KS asked if I was trying to distance myself from my mum (??); suggested that giving 2 months' notice was quite inconsiderate (!!); asked me to imagine Beth doing the same to me; advised me to remember the 10 Commandments, particularly the one that says honour your mother (!!!); recommended that I keep communication lines open by visiting mum and having her over more often over the next 2 months.
I stewed over the conversation that night and Sunday morning (Beth had fever so we stayed home), and finally distilled my thought processes into a 4,000+ word letter which I spent the entire afternoon crafting and recrafting before I sent it by email to Aunty KS, Uncle Kenneth & his wife, with blind copies to hubby and my cousin in MEL. After that, I felt as if I'd unloaded a lifetime of frustration, bitterness, anger and regret - for a while anyway.
Today, I received touching responses from hubby and Uncle K. Thankfully, both expressed support and encouragement. Uncle K even offered help with accommodation and a possible offer of employment in his company (a win-win, he explained, as he needed to hire at least 1 Ozzie or PR to qualify for a business visa). We are meeting up soon to discuss the details.
So a little bit of good has come out of the whole sorry mess, for which I'm thankful to God. It seems to me that after we committed the migration maze into His hands and sought His direction, things started falling in place:
Looking back, I ought not to have been surprised, but still, it was a shock to hear Aunty KS retell it. Most of all, I felt like I had been assaulted and that I stood accused of that most heinous Asian sin - lack of filial piety, an emotionally charged issue with complex multiple layers and nuances.
Amongst other things, Aunty KS asked if I was trying to distance myself from my mum (??); suggested that giving 2 months' notice was quite inconsiderate (!!); asked me to imagine Beth doing the same to me; advised me to remember the 10 Commandments, particularly the one that says honour your mother (!!!); recommended that I keep communication lines open by visiting mum and having her over more often over the next 2 months.
I stewed over the conversation that night and Sunday morning (Beth had fever so we stayed home), and finally distilled my thought processes into a 4,000+ word letter which I spent the entire afternoon crafting and recrafting before I sent it by email to Aunty KS, Uncle Kenneth & his wife, with blind copies to hubby and my cousin in MEL. After that, I felt as if I'd unloaded a lifetime of frustration, bitterness, anger and regret - for a while anyway.
Today, I received touching responses from hubby and Uncle K. Thankfully, both expressed support and encouragement. Uncle K even offered help with accommodation and a possible offer of employment in his company (a win-win, he explained, as he needed to hire at least 1 Ozzie or PR to qualify for a business visa). We are meeting up soon to discuss the details.
So a little bit of good has come out of the whole sorry mess, for which I'm thankful to God. It seems to me that after we committed the migration maze into His hands and sought His direction, things started falling in place:
- We've already had an initial discussion with the movers.
- I've made some progress with the packing and sorting.
- Hubby plans to scrap the car by the end of July, and to inform his boss this evening of his intention to resign.
- My cousin in MEL has offered to help us with transport when we arrive, and to lend us her car when she goes off to the States for a conference.
- We located affordable temp accommodation (hostel) in MEL CBD, which can be our base while we're househunting and before our things arrive from SIN.
- We're keeping a lookout for airfares (the cheapest one-way ticket so far is Qantas which flies direct for 7 hrs and costs S$441, ex-taxes).
- Advice is pouring in from friends in MEL on cost of living, whether to ship our fridge & washing machine (no), how to transport our dog (pet remover).
- My BIL is renovating his place and will need a place to stay for a while, which is perfect for us as he can move into our place first, stay as long as he likes before helping us rent it out. That would also give us time to find permanent accommodation so that our shippers can do a door-to-door delivery instead of storing our goods for an indefinite period at Port Melb.
What has meant most to me has been the support of our cell group, who has been praying for us; our friend Annie Soh, who not only empathizes with me re my unresolved conflict with my mum and encouraged me to stand firm, but also connected us to her friend Freddy in MEL (who in turn has been most open and generous with info and tips); my cousin in MEL, who helped us shortlist suitable suburbs and hospitals; my BIL who reckons my in-laws would have given us their blessings, even though MIL would have cried; and of course Uncle K.
God bless all these fine folk for their unstinting encouragement!
Friday, July 21, 2006
Crossing the Biggest Hurdle
My greatest fear - insofar as this whole move to Oz is concerned - has been how to break the news of our intentions to Mum.
We have a fairly tense relationship. On good days, we talk about safe topics like current affairs, what our friends/relatives are doing, how Beth is progressing in school. On bad days, we get into a shouting match because I feel - once again - that she is trying to control my life, that she is not letting me grow up, that she is one-track minded and closed to reality, that she's trying (via long distance) to raise Beth to be a replica of me at the same age.
My strategy for coping? To tell her as little as possible. Stick to neutral topics. Avoid minefields. Anything remotely challenging to her values and her way of life are to be avoided unless it can't be helped.
That includes things like telling her that we're moving to Melb, 7.5 hrs away, and plan to be there for at least 2 years. I don't think I can handle her reaction.
Would she freak out, scream, cry?
Would she make me feel guilty for "abandoning" her?
Would I feel emotionally overwhelmed because of all the complex intricacies of Asian filial piety and feel unable to do anything without her blessing?
Would I be only able to move on with my life if she's not around?
And by then, would I be an angry, bitter, resentful older woman, still steeped in the wounds of the past - and worse - would I have become the mirror image of my mum, the very thing I fear?
2 days ago, I took this whole migration issue to the Lord. I confessed, as best I could, that I was incapable of handling this on my own - there was too much to think about, too many decisions to make, I was confused, I was clueless, I needed His help and guidance and direction. I can't remember the exact words I used, but basically I surrendered the whole matter to Him - just gave up out of exhaustion and desperation and a dim recognition that only He can rescue me from a hopeless situation.
My experience has always been that it is only after I have taken my troubles to the Lord and fully surrendered them and acknowledged His sovereignty and indicated my willingness to do His will, that things start to happen.
And indeed, they are happening again.
Yesterday, I tried calling my mum - I mentally rehearsed over and over the exact words I would say.
"Mum, I have something to tell you. My hubby and I have come to a decision. We're moving to Melb." In between the decision and Melb I thought I'd insert a warm-up: "Remember how I've said I want to study overseas? Well...." (Explosion as Mum reacts)
Funnily, Mum was not at home. Not only that, she didn't return my call, as she normally does when she gets home and checks the calls received on her phone. So I had to stew the entire evening wondering whether I should call her or not.
Finally, I did it this morning.
The conversation went pretty much as planned. Except there wasn't an explosion. Or recrimination. Or tears. Basically, Mum said she couldn't stop us going, but she wanted us to consult my uncle and auntie on the matter, because they have kids working/studying there, and they are in a better position to advise. Like a typical S'porean (which includes me), she highlighted all the cons:
The hubby had only 2 words when I called to tell him I'd finally done the deed.
"Well Done."
What a relief to get it out in the open. No more hiding, no more procrastination, no more sleepless nights thinking about how to tell Mum. By God's grace and with His help (I did pray specifically that she would take calmly to the news), the biggest obstacle has been hurdled.
We have a fairly tense relationship. On good days, we talk about safe topics like current affairs, what our friends/relatives are doing, how Beth is progressing in school. On bad days, we get into a shouting match because I feel - once again - that she is trying to control my life, that she is not letting me grow up, that she is one-track minded and closed to reality, that she's trying (via long distance) to raise Beth to be a replica of me at the same age.
My strategy for coping? To tell her as little as possible. Stick to neutral topics. Avoid minefields. Anything remotely challenging to her values and her way of life are to be avoided unless it can't be helped.
That includes things like telling her that we're moving to Melb, 7.5 hrs away, and plan to be there for at least 2 years. I don't think I can handle her reaction.
Would she freak out, scream, cry?
Would she make me feel guilty for "abandoning" her?
Would I feel emotionally overwhelmed because of all the complex intricacies of Asian filial piety and feel unable to do anything without her blessing?
Would I be only able to move on with my life if she's not around?
And by then, would I be an angry, bitter, resentful older woman, still steeped in the wounds of the past - and worse - would I have become the mirror image of my mum, the very thing I fear?
2 days ago, I took this whole migration issue to the Lord. I confessed, as best I could, that I was incapable of handling this on my own - there was too much to think about, too many decisions to make, I was confused, I was clueless, I needed His help and guidance and direction. I can't remember the exact words I used, but basically I surrendered the whole matter to Him - just gave up out of exhaustion and desperation and a dim recognition that only He can rescue me from a hopeless situation.
My experience has always been that it is only after I have taken my troubles to the Lord and fully surrendered them and acknowledged His sovereignty and indicated my willingness to do His will, that things start to happen.
And indeed, they are happening again.
Yesterday, I tried calling my mum - I mentally rehearsed over and over the exact words I would say.
"Mum, I have something to tell you. My hubby and I have come to a decision. We're moving to Melb." In between the decision and Melb I thought I'd insert a warm-up: "Remember how I've said I want to study overseas? Well...." (Explosion as Mum reacts)
Funnily, Mum was not at home. Not only that, she didn't return my call, as she normally does when she gets home and checks the calls received on her phone. So I had to stew the entire evening wondering whether I should call her or not.
Finally, I did it this morning.
The conversation went pretty much as planned. Except there wasn't an explosion. Or recrimination. Or tears. Basically, Mum said she couldn't stop us going, but she wanted us to consult my uncle and auntie on the matter, because they have kids working/studying there, and they are in a better position to advise. Like a typical S'porean (which includes me), she highlighted all the cons:
- Erratic Melb weather
- Finances ("Only multimillionaires can afford to go without a job! Why doesn't your hubby go ahead, get a job, settle down, then bring you over?" "Aunty SH is not resigning from her job even though Uncle Kenneth is based in Perth and their daughter is studying there. She wants him to be more stable first.")
- Expensive healthcare (I haven't told her yet that we're PRs)
- Cultural clash ("Beth might mix with the wrong people and have a wrong way of thinking")
- Being 2nd-class citizens
- Being far away from family ("If you need help, we can't get there immediately. By the time we book an air ticket and fly over, it would be 2-3 days.")
- No access to domestic help ("You won't have a maid/confinement nanny to help you!")
The hubby had only 2 words when I called to tell him I'd finally done the deed.
"Well Done."
What a relief to get it out in the open. No more hiding, no more procrastination, no more sleepless nights thinking about how to tell Mum. By God's grace and with His help (I did pray specifically that she would take calmly to the news), the biggest obstacle has been hurdled.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Turning Faith Into Action
I've spent the last 2 days re-reading some good Christian books out of desperation:
-Lewis Smedes' Decision Making in a Complex World
-Os Hillman's The Purposes of Money
-Robert Katz' Biblical Paths to Financial Freedom
2 ideas stand out:
a) LS's suggestion that if there's nothing morally contentious about your intended decision, then a good guide is to CHOOSE RESPONSIBLY.
I have been pondering the meaning of this in the light of our decision to migrate/or not.
Are we being irresponsible by moving without the safety net of a job, or is that line of thinking the product of our sheltered environment and the risk-averse society we live in?
b) Again from LS: Even a wrong choice or bad decision cannot cut us off from God's love, or make Him love us any less than He already does.
That is such a wonderfully comforting thought.
From OH, I'm relearning what it means to seek the Lord and wait upon Him. I am very bad at waiting - I get impatient, I mentally stamp my feet, I want to know NOW whether the answer is Yes, No or Maybe. But if I'm to let God be God, how can I restrict Him with my notions of time and space and logic? He is God.
Interestingly, just this morning, I received a flurry of emails from close friends who know about our Melb dilemma. A dear friend asked hubby to send her his CV as an opening has just come up in Sydney in her company. Hubby turned down the opport and explained that Sydney's not part of our plan.
Another friend, who was the first to know we'd gotten our PR 3 years ago, fired off a series of responses after I'd emailed him this morning - and went a step further. He called - long distance from his office in Mornington! -and basically gave me an earful about waiting so long to decide.
"Indecision is not making a decision."
"If you're moving, better to do it sooner rather than later."
And suggested I rethink Hoppers Crossing/Werribee and consider Newport/Williamstown as our home base. He thinks W is too rednecky (he is, by his own admission, a snob :-)). He approved the choice of W Mercy Hosp tho'.
He ended the conversation with "God's already given you a visa - what more do you want?"
Which was a jaw-dropping, why-didn't-i-see-it revelation. Indeed, short of God telling us specifically Yes or No, how would we know what His will is unless we put it to the test, as it were, by taking one step in faith at a time?
Indecision has always been my greatest failing, and now a dear brother has pointed it out in the most direct way possible.
So - I've made an appointment with a business associate who's a mover specialising in relocations - he's coming by this Sat morning to discuss the details.
And I've just texted another associate who's a lawyer, to execute a Power of Attorney in respect of our HDB flat, so that my bro-in-law can help us rent it out, collect the rentals etc.
We're really winging it by faith, cos I still haven't all the answers to what happens if we don't make our next 10% instalment on our Melb investment property or if the banks turn down our loan application.
-Lewis Smedes' Decision Making in a Complex World
-Os Hillman's The Purposes of Money
-Robert Katz' Biblical Paths to Financial Freedom
2 ideas stand out:
a) LS's suggestion that if there's nothing morally contentious about your intended decision, then a good guide is to CHOOSE RESPONSIBLY.
I have been pondering the meaning of this in the light of our decision to migrate/or not.
Are we being irresponsible by moving without the safety net of a job, or is that line of thinking the product of our sheltered environment and the risk-averse society we live in?
b) Again from LS: Even a wrong choice or bad decision cannot cut us off from God's love, or make Him love us any less than He already does.
That is such a wonderfully comforting thought.
From OH, I'm relearning what it means to seek the Lord and wait upon Him. I am very bad at waiting - I get impatient, I mentally stamp my feet, I want to know NOW whether the answer is Yes, No or Maybe. But if I'm to let God be God, how can I restrict Him with my notions of time and space and logic? He is God.
Interestingly, just this morning, I received a flurry of emails from close friends who know about our Melb dilemma. A dear friend asked hubby to send her his CV as an opening has just come up in Sydney in her company. Hubby turned down the opport and explained that Sydney's not part of our plan.
Another friend, who was the first to know we'd gotten our PR 3 years ago, fired off a series of responses after I'd emailed him this morning - and went a step further. He called - long distance from his office in Mornington! -and basically gave me an earful about waiting so long to decide.
"Indecision is not making a decision."
"If you're moving, better to do it sooner rather than later."
And suggested I rethink Hoppers Crossing/Werribee and consider Newport/Williamstown as our home base. He thinks W is too rednecky (he is, by his own admission, a snob :-)). He approved the choice of W Mercy Hosp tho'.
He ended the conversation with "God's already given you a visa - what more do you want?"
Which was a jaw-dropping, why-didn't-i-see-it revelation. Indeed, short of God telling us specifically Yes or No, how would we know what His will is unless we put it to the test, as it were, by taking one step in faith at a time?
Indecision has always been my greatest failing, and now a dear brother has pointed it out in the most direct way possible.
So - I've made an appointment with a business associate who's a mover specialising in relocations - he's coming by this Sat morning to discuss the details.
And I've just texted another associate who's a lawyer, to execute a Power of Attorney in respect of our HDB flat, so that my bro-in-law can help us rent it out, collect the rentals etc.
We're really winging it by faith, cos I still haven't all the answers to what happens if we don't make our next 10% instalment on our Melb investment property or if the banks turn down our loan application.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Decision Time
It's now Week 17 of the pregnancy, and Beth turns 4 today!
In the past few days, we've had to make some difficult decisions:
- To forgo our Oz PR and deliver the baby here (in case I develop complications and don't have a reliable gynae to fall back on/develop postnatal depression from being all alone in a strange land)
- To apply for PR for baby when he/she is born
I'm so frustrated. We were so close to making THE MOVE until hubby's pals in Melb wrote to discourage us from going without a job. My good friend Y2 agrees. Now an acquaintance in Melb (Annie's pal Freddy) says it's really about what our long term goals for the family are, and that jobs are aplenty if we adjust our expectations. And hubby's pal in Brisbane is glowing with optimism about the state of the B economy and the job prospects.
I don't know what to think anymore, and meanwhile, the clock is ticking.
In the past few days, we've had to make some difficult decisions:
- To forgo our Oz PR and deliver the baby here (in case I develop complications and don't have a reliable gynae to fall back on/develop postnatal depression from being all alone in a strange land)
- To apply for PR for baby when he/she is born
I'm so frustrated. We were so close to making THE MOVE until hubby's pals in Melb wrote to discourage us from going without a job. My good friend Y2 agrees. Now an acquaintance in Melb (Annie's pal Freddy) says it's really about what our long term goals for the family are, and that jobs are aplenty if we adjust our expectations. And hubby's pal in Brisbane is glowing with optimism about the state of the B economy and the job prospects.
I don't know what to think anymore, and meanwhile, the clock is ticking.
Christianity & Financial Security
I am confused.
Being a Christian means trusting God to provide for all my needs, including my financial ones, because He is Jehovah Jireh.
So does that mean there's no need for serious financial planning, buying of life policies and endowments, thinking about how I can get more out of my (dwindling) savings, thinking of multiple income streams a la Robert Allen & Robert Kiyosaki?
That can't be, cos we're also asked to be good stewards of our resources.
So what's this biblical prosperity Robert Katz talks about in his book Biblical Roads to Financial Freedom, and Os Hillman's distinction between the 5 fallacies about money vs God's 5 purposes for its use in his book The Purposes of Money?
Then there's my good friend who recently wrote in an email response - "Why do you think Christianity and finances are mutually exclusive...so long as you put God first and do not let $$$ become a god in ur life, all's well. In short, go ahead and make money if the opportunities are there...!"
I will never get the hang of this. I just want to be debt-free (very hard with 2 mortgages, 1 income, and a baby on the way) and to have a little more than enough so I can afford the occasional day out without guilt.
Is that un-Christian to ask?
Being a Christian means trusting God to provide for all my needs, including my financial ones, because He is Jehovah Jireh.
So does that mean there's no need for serious financial planning, buying of life policies and endowments, thinking about how I can get more out of my (dwindling) savings, thinking of multiple income streams a la Robert Allen & Robert Kiyosaki?
That can't be, cos we're also asked to be good stewards of our resources.
So what's this biblical prosperity Robert Katz talks about in his book Biblical Roads to Financial Freedom, and Os Hillman's distinction between the 5 fallacies about money vs God's 5 purposes for its use in his book The Purposes of Money?
Then there's my good friend who recently wrote in an email response - "Why do you think Christianity and finances are mutually exclusive...so long as you put God first and do not let $$$ become a god in ur life, all's well. In short, go ahead and make money if the opportunities are there...!"
I will never get the hang of this. I just want to be debt-free (very hard with 2 mortgages, 1 income, and a baby on the way) and to have a little more than enough so I can afford the occasional day out without guilt.
Is that un-Christian to ask?
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Week 16: I Want To Cry
All it took was a comment from a glum-looking spouse this evening to sink all my hopes of an adventurous new life in Melbourne.
Apparently, he had received replies from his pals living in Melb. One discouraged him from migrating without a job in hand, saying the job market had changed. The other pointed out the high cost of healthcare in Oz.
Such an anticlimax to the frenzied research and doings of the past week. Just this morning, I'd texted a lawyer contact to enquire about the cost of executing a Power of Attorney (in case we wanted to sublet our flat while we were away). I'd also been in touch with a real estate agent contact to discuss the paperwork for the subletting, and he suggested meeting end-July. Then my cousin living in Melb dropped by to visit and suggested our first rental home be in/around Hoppers Crossing (where she lives!) and that we consider delivering our baby at Werribee Mercy Hospital, near where she works.
I was so pleased, thinking we'd gotten the accomodation and hospital part of things sorted out finally. (Our other option, courtesy of a church brother, is his parents' house in Perth.) I mean, at 16 weeks, I don't have the luxury of time to plan and mull over too many options.
Ok, so we did take our time planning the move (our PR was granted 3 years ago!), but these things happen. No point dwelling on what's past and done.
How do we move forward now?
A member of our cell group recently asked a wise (yet piercing) question:
"Have you 2 prayed about this?"
Evidently, the implication is that if we had, we would know clearly whether it is God's will for us to go or stay. But is it really so simple? My personal experience has been that God doesn't give me clear-cut answers when I ask for help. Sometimes He sends people to guide me. Sometimes things happen and doors open - or close. Sometimes (a lot of the time) nothing happens.
Some say you should get a feeling of peace if something is meant for you. I agree with that - some of the time. But if I feel nothing, does that mean the thing is not for me?
So now we're stuck - to go or not to go?
To wait till the baby is born or just go anyway?
Should we just give up the PR offer and wait till Spouse has a definite job offer?
From a pragmatist's point of view, it makes no sense to go broke trying to live your dream. I don't need to be rich - just not in crushing debt. That would be a great distraction and hardly helpful to God's purposes for my life.
Apparently, he had received replies from his pals living in Melb. One discouraged him from migrating without a job in hand, saying the job market had changed. The other pointed out the high cost of healthcare in Oz.
Such an anticlimax to the frenzied research and doings of the past week. Just this morning, I'd texted a lawyer contact to enquire about the cost of executing a Power of Attorney (in case we wanted to sublet our flat while we were away). I'd also been in touch with a real estate agent contact to discuss the paperwork for the subletting, and he suggested meeting end-July. Then my cousin living in Melb dropped by to visit and suggested our first rental home be in/around Hoppers Crossing (where she lives!) and that we consider delivering our baby at Werribee Mercy Hospital, near where she works.
I was so pleased, thinking we'd gotten the accomodation and hospital part of things sorted out finally. (Our other option, courtesy of a church brother, is his parents' house in Perth.) I mean, at 16 weeks, I don't have the luxury of time to plan and mull over too many options.
Ok, so we did take our time planning the move (our PR was granted 3 years ago!), but these things happen. No point dwelling on what's past and done.
How do we move forward now?
A member of our cell group recently asked a wise (yet piercing) question:
"Have you 2 prayed about this?"
Evidently, the implication is that if we had, we would know clearly whether it is God's will for us to go or stay. But is it really so simple? My personal experience has been that God doesn't give me clear-cut answers when I ask for help. Sometimes He sends people to guide me. Sometimes things happen and doors open - or close. Sometimes (a lot of the time) nothing happens.
Some say you should get a feeling of peace if something is meant for you. I agree with that - some of the time. But if I feel nothing, does that mean the thing is not for me?
So now we're stuck - to go or not to go?
To wait till the baby is born or just go anyway?
Should we just give up the PR offer and wait till Spouse has a definite job offer?
From a pragmatist's point of view, it makes no sense to go broke trying to live your dream. I don't need to be rich - just not in crushing debt. That would be a great distraction and hardly helpful to God's purposes for my life.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Week 14/15: Officially Safe!
I'm officially into my 2nd trimester, the so-called "safe" period. So why aren't I enjoying my pregnancy yet??
Thanksgiving:
Thanksgiving:
- That I've made it this far in the pregnancy
- That I survived the church retreat in early June, when I was just 11 weeks along and wondering if taking the 860 km road trip to Bt Tinggi, M'sia, and back was a good idea
- That my appetite is picking up (tho' I'm nowhere near having serious cravings or developing a fondness for large and frequent meals)
- That I'm not working F/T (yay!). I really cannot imagine commuting to and from work at peak hours on public transport, jostling with thousands of other commuters and having to stand all the way
- I've started experimenting in the kitchen again (last night it was grilled rosemary chicken; before that it was roast root veg/pan fried chicken breast with mushroom sauce/a Spanish chorizo rice dish that failed spectacularly and had to be hastily buried/tuna macaroni/fried rice which I finally got right after slavishly following a recipe/fusilli with ham and peas in a cream sauce/pear tart and creme caramel for dessert). The hubby has been very encouraging. Just last night he commented that it was a good thing I'd stayed home so he could enjoy his meals.
- Not putting on weight yet. Plenty of time for that, I'm sure. Still hovering at 49 kg mark. When I had Beth I put on 18 kg, which took me a year to lose!
Pet Grouses
- Backache
- Breathlessness (my growing belly feels like it's obstructing my breathing)
- Constipation and digestion issues
- A strange tap-water coating on the tongue that keeps me from fully enjoying the taste of my food
- Interrupted sleep
- Mood swings
- Fatigue. I'm so tired of feeling tired!!
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